Friday, September 28, 2007

My Video Blog Transcript

Jimmy Moore has been kind enough to put together a transcript of my video for those of you who are on dial-up or hearing impared and cannot watch my video. Thanks Jimmy!!

Livin' La Vida Low Carb - Kimkins 'Cover Girl' Passionately Declares Diet 'Dangerous' After Health Issues Emerge

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Incentives Traded for Loyalty

I have debated about publishing the following, but after reading conversations released today by The Truth In Hiding concerning bonuses, I am going to share publicly the incentives Kimmer offered me as Public Relations Director for Kimkins.

In my previous blog, Ethics vs Economics, I eluded to having to make a financial decision to walk away from Kimkins. Believe me; I struggled with what to do. I risked losing a lot.

The following conversation was in reference to obtaining new magazine articles and contacts:

Aug 20, 2007

Heidi: if you land us a magazine story (even if not the cover)
me: :)
Heidi: you'll get a company car :)
wha?? LOL
9:59 PM Heidi: :)
me: you're pulling my leg...
Heidi: not at all
me: :) great incentive! ;)
10:00 PM Heidi: and a raise :)

I submitted my story and articles to multiple magazines; however, I had not received a contact back from any at that point.

This next conversation is in reference to contacts with the reporters who scout stories for Harpo Studios (Oprah Winfrey):

Aug 22, 2007

Heidi: i'm telling you now, that if you get "us" on oprah $100,000 to you. promise.
11:12 AM me: wow... that's a very generous offer.... I'm working on it!!!

The next conversation concerned Heidi’s offer to me as PR director and head moderator. For reference, the “dead” comment refers to her being without access to the Kimkins forums for a time.

Aug 25, 2007:
Heidi: 1) since i'm "dead" could i ask you to ask the others about being admins?
me: sure

5:56 PM Heidi: what would you think of being head admin? new salary $1500/mo
me: oh wow...

There are more conversations, but my goal here is to reach the remaining admins. Tippy and Singing Lass, you are being used.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My First Video Blog

This is my first of hopefully many podcasts. It is not necessarily the way I wished to begin, however I feel that my message is vital for the health and wellbeing of those who are still unsure of the Kimkins program.

I wanted to address my friends still within that program. I want you to know my heart. I have nothing but love for you all. I am so saddened that it has all come to this... Please heed my warning. God has so much more for you... He wants you to live a healthy, happy and long life. He has given us this body as a temple, and it is up to us to respect it, and treat it right. Not deprive it of valuable and necessary things that He has put on this earth for our nurishment and enjoyment.

God bless my friends and I look forward to sharing even more with you.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Is it Economics or Ethics?

I know that I should never question or doubt God's timing when He brings His children together for one purpose. In light of the current situation with Kimkins and Heidi Diaz, I have spent much time in prayer, seeking guidance, peace and clarification in everything that I say and do. This morning was yet another confirmation that I am right in the middle of where I am supposed to be. Today's service was especially relevant and I wanted to share it with you as it is amazingly applicable during this time.

I begin today's post by relaying a story that my pastor shared this morning from the Word in Daniel 3. (Using The Message version for readability)

"King Nebuchadnezzar built a gold statue, ninety feet high and nine feet thick. He set it up on the Dura plain in the province of Babylon. He then ordered all the important leaders in the province, everybody who was anybody, to the dedication ceremony of the statue. They all came for the dedication, all the important people, and took their places before the statue that Nebuchadnezzar had erected.

A herald then proclaimed in a loud voice: "Attention, everyone! Every race, color, and creed, listen! When you hear the band strike up—all the trumpets and trombones, the tubas and baritones, the drums and cymbals—fall to your knees and worship the gold statue that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. Anyone who does not kneel and worship shall be thrown immediately into a roaring furnace."

The band started to play, a huge band equipped with all the musical instruments of Babylon, and everyone—every race, color, and creed—fell to their knees and worshiped the gold statue that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

Just then, some Babylonian fortunetellers stepped up and accused the Jews. They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "Long live the king! You gave strict orders, O king, that when the big band started playing, everyone had to fall to their knees and worship the gold statue, and whoever did not go to their knees and worship it had to be pitched into a roaring furnace. Well, there are some Jews here—Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego—whom you have placed in high positions in the province of Babylon. These men are ignoring you, O king. They don't respect your gods and they won't worship the gold statue you set up."

Furious, King Nebuchadnezzar ordered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be brought in. When the men were brought in, Nebuchadnezzar asked, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you don't respect my gods and refuse to worship the gold statue that I have set up? I'm giving you a second chance—but from now on, when the big band strikes up you must go to your knees and worship the statue I have made. If you don't worship it, you will be pitched into a roaring furnace, no questions asked. Who is the god who can rescue you from my power?"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn't, it wouldn't make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn't serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up."

Nebuchadnezzar, his face purple with anger, cut off Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He ordered the furnace fired up seven times hotter than usual. He ordered some strong men from the army to tie them up, hands and feet, and throw them into the roaring furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, bound hand and foot, fully dressed from head to toe, were pitched into the roaring fire...

Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm and said, "Didn't we throw three men, bound hand and foot, into the fire?"

"That's right, O king," they said.

"But look!" he said. "I see four men, walking around freely in the fire, completely unharmed! And the fourth man looks like a son of the gods!"

Nebuchadnezzar went to the door of the roaring furnace and called in, "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the High God, come out here!"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walked out of the fire.

All the important people, the government leaders and king's counselors, gathered around to examine them and discovered that the fire hadn't so much as touched the three men—not a hair singed, not a scorch mark on their clothes, not even the smell of fire on them!

Nebuchadnezzar said, "Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego! He sent his angel and rescued his servants who trusted in him! They ignored the king's orders and laid their bodies on the line rather than serve or worship any god but their own."

So the question today is: What happens when the cost of doing business IS my ethics?

I wrote not long ago about specific questions that I had regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer/Heidi Diaz. In my request, I emphasised that my desire and goal in that correspondence was to be able to promote the company which I worked for, with integrity and a clear conscience. But, the heart of the issue clearly and quickly became a very personal question. I had to determine for myself what would happen if I would have to give up my values to keep my job. This is a fundamental question, that really encompasses every aspect of my life. My pastor said: "Ethics are like water, they seep out in every area of our lives." When we begin to compromise and rationalize our ethical standpoints, it becomes easier and easier to make little compromises in other areas of our lives.

When faced with a "sticky" situation, it can be very easy to rationalize our behavior. Our rationalizations can entail 3 trains of thought. Sometimes one, or a combination of all three influence our decision making:

1) My economic standing: If I stand for what I believe in, how will I pay for my expenses? This truly hit home to me. I am a stay at home mom. I would be lying if I said I didn't worry sometimes about where the money is going to come from to buy groceries or pay the electric bill. I realize now that this was a baiting tool that was used against me. It was VERY difficult to walk away from my position with Kimkins because I had no idea what would happen financially. I was constantly reminded of my dependence on Heidi and my "need" by subtle comments such as "you're worth much more," "you're making more than 'person'" and "I'm giving this out of my pocket."

2) The EGO of my position: Do I continue to play the game, just to keep my position? I was the cover-girl. Kimmer's "right hand girl." THOUSANDS of people have seen my face and are counting on me to help guide them. Flattery is a trap, a snare to entangle those who are unaware and easily distracted. There is a distinct difference in my mind between a complement and flattery. Complements are sincere and genuine. They are meant to edify and encourage. Flattery is sticky sweet. It drips with ulterior motives. There was definitely an abundance of flattery being flung around.

3) My Efforts Sacrificed: I could not go backwards. I spent HOURS and HOURS on the forums, helping, offering assistance, encouraging, not to mention time spent on multiple other projects and responsibilities that I spearheaded and began; media contacts, kimmerwear, recipe contest, advertising, recipe box organization, maintenance program, public relations duties.

But, are those things worth the sacrifice that I would be making for my own conscience. What would I be giving up by continuing to represent a company and person whose moral and ethical practices are shady at best? In Heidi's own words:

"I don't see that there's a future for you with Kimkins unless you can come up with something that wouldn't jeopardize your integrity."

"Again, if anyone isn't willing to take a bullet for Kimkins (and why on earth should you), no problem at all."

What is my reality?

If I had made the choice to stay with Kimkins what would I lose?

1) Loss of my moral authority. How do I trust God if I take matters into my own hands? How can I encourage others to trust Him?

2) Loss of my self-respect. To take the "easy road" would be cowardly, a cop-out. When I began this blog, I titled it "The Journey" with the intention of taking "the road less traveled." I can not live in fear of what may happen by making the difficult decision to stand against the King.

3) Loss of seeing God show up in powerful ways. Taking shortcuts disallows God's power. The greatest stories are those in which His power shows up in miraculous ways. How many stories would go untold because of my short-cuts?

In the story, King Nebuchadnezzar required self-worship as a symbol of his subjects loyalty to him. You may say - well.... I will bow to the idol on the outside and follow what is right just in my mind. The idea being... I can do more good on the inside than the outside. But how many people will see you for what you are? No one else can see your mind. To them, you are still bowing to the idol.

The King said - If you do not do what I say, you will be thrown in the fire... I'm the king, I can do whatever I want to do."

Do you believe that "your king" is in control of your life though? Do you trust more in your economic or social standing than in God?

I do not. I know that I serve a God who is able; a God who will deliver me from the fire. I chose to stand for what is right. I refuse to bow to the idol and compromise my integrity for the easy road and to save myself from "death."

My favorite part of this story and analogy is this: I stood for what I believed in with my 2 friends... my Meshach and Abednego... Becky and Deni. We are in the fire. We are standing for honesty and integrity. But we are not alone. We have a 4th guardian. Thank you Lord Jesus for standing with us. Praise God that I have confidence and a surety that we will not only come through this fire unscathed, but He will use us in ways that we have not yet even begun to imagine.

This post is my application and summary of a sermon presented this morning by Pastor Tim Hawks of Hill Country Bible Church. You can hear the complete message HERE.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Where do we go from here? ~ The Excellence of Love

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and know all the mysteries and all knowledge;
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but do not have love,

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but do not have love,
it profits me nothing.

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
it is not jealous;
Love does not brag,
it is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with THE TRUTH;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love NEVER fails;
but if there are gifts of prophecy,
they will be done away;
if there are tongues,
they will cease;
if there is knowledge,
it will be done away.

For we know in part,
and we prophesy in part;
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will be done away.

When I was a child, I used to speak as a child,
think as a child,
reason as a child;

When I became a man, I did away with childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face;
now I know in part,
but then I will know fully
just as I also have been fully known.

But now abide Faith, Hope, and LOVE, these three;
But the greatest of these is


1 Corinthians 13 (NAS Version)

Is there life after Kimkins? I want to encourage you all. YES. There is. I know for many of you, you believe that Kimkins is the only thing that ever worked for you, but you also can see the health risks and dangers that are prominent with the very low calorie aspects of this program. You know that your body needs more than that, but you are lost and don't know where to turn.

I understand... but know that there is a beacon in the night, a light shinging through the fog. That light is actually what made Kimkins so successful for you in the first place. It is friends and family. Friends that supported you and encouraged you. An online family where you could share your ups and downs, ins and outs, struggles and triumphs. Those people are still out there. They still love you. I still love you. Many have found new homes at various low carb forums around the web. I have too. I will share my resting place with you shortly.

I wanted to encourage you with some tips and places to begin your transition if you have begun it, and hope for those who have not yet. Some of you may experience a slight stall by changing the way you are eating, others may notice a break in a stall. Remember that we are all different, and that is what makes us so special. There is no "cookie cutter" program out there that works for everyone. We must make adjustments according to what our bodies needs are at the time. There are so many good low carb books and plans out there; Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution, Protein Power, The Zone, The Thin Commandments and many many more. I ask that you bear with me as I too learn how to live this low carb life in a healthful way too. But I will always pass along to you the things that I am learning.

Tip 1) Begin by upping your calories by using more protein and added HEALTHY fats (good oils such as olive, avacado, coconut, etc.; healthy nuts such as almonds or walnuts; olives; avacados, dairy, etc.). Everone will have an optimum calorie range that is good for their bodies and will still allow for weight loss. 500 calories is not it. Try for at least 1100-1200. I know this will be hard at first, but your body will thank you in the end.

Tip 2) DO NOT BE AFRAID OF VEGGIES. This was one of my clues that I had changed from a healthy thinking within Kimkins to a more eating dissordered way of thinking. I became AFRAID to add in veggies because I worried that it would slow my loss. We did not get fat from vegetables. Their nutritional value is worth so much more than losing an extra ounce because you did not eat a salad. Remember the 20 carb limit in KK? What if you kept to that thought, but this time use net carbs in veggies. The fiber contained within them and vitamins and minerals are so good for you. God created them to nourish your body. This is why most LC programs have a list that you can eat an UNLIMITED amount from, and another list that is limited... there are veggies that are higher starch/carb than others that you may wish to limit (like winter squashes, pumpkin, carrots, etc...). But these things do contain wonderful vitamins and minerals that your body does need. Just remember what you have learned. 1 serving = 1/2 cup of cooked veggies. Watch the higher carb ones and stick to your serving sizes. Enjoy ENJOY ENJOY the lower carb "free" veggies!

Tip 3) Get moving! I know that many people do not like to excercise. But I think you will find that you will feel so much better even getting out and taking a 30 minute walk. Fall is quickly approaching on us and this is the perfect time to start getting out. Breathe the fresh air, and think about what a better life you are making for yourself and your loved ones with your new way of eating.

In my previous journal I began a book review on The Thin Commandments by Dr Stephen Gullo. I intend to continue that review here on this blog as I believe it to be a truly inspiring peice that sheds light on some of the most essential psychological issues that we all must face if we are to keep the weight off permanently.

I continue now in my forward motion and I am so priviledged to be able to share this road with you.

(PSST... wanna know where my new home is??? Come check it out over at Low Carb Discussion. Special thanks goes to Jimmy Moore for setting up this new home for us. So many good people there. Many friends you will most likely recognize. Send me a PM or post to one of the threads that I regular and I look forward to seeing you there!)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Maintaining the Status Quo

My dear friend Deni said that once she saw the Kimkins program as a speeding train. She was warned not to remain on that train and instead sit on her bench at the train station and wait for travelers to come off of the train. I too sit on that bench… and every now and then we journey down my road, stopping for a while to rest with our friend Becky at her tent… But then, I come back to the train and I am saddened at worried. I look through the windows and I see friends. Many of whom I did invite aboard with me. They are my friends, my allies, my confidants, my support system. But what true friend would I be if I allowed them to continue without warning them of the impending danger that is to come? The more I read and research the more I realize the grave danger I put myself in, and others in, through my use of the Kimkins diet program.

It breaks my heart that these people who used to be my friends have now labeled me as an outsider; a “hater.” I did not get my research and proof of what I found from “anti” blogs or forums contrary to what has been reported to you. Doesn’t it seem odd that “my friend,” the founder of that program would not provide me with the medical proof that I asked for? And I asked not only as a concerned friend, but as the Public Relations representative in order that I might represent what I believed in whole heartedly. But I was given nothing to stand on. No concrete to plant my feet on, as I desperately sought a way to defend my decisions and they way I had led my life for almost a year. Instead, I was left floundering in assumptions of my greatest fears, later confirmed by my own studies. I understand. I was just as disillusioned as you are trying not to be… maybe even more so. I was on the cover of a magazine telling the world of a program which I had assumed to be safe!

My friends I implore you, you have heard my heart. You have read my words. I, of all people, would be the first to jump up and shout to the rooftops if I could prove Kimkins to be safe for general dietary use! This is what I asked Kimmer for. I wanted to promote Kimkins with integrity and honesty. I wanted to be able to show without a doubt that it was a good program. But, try as I might, I could not.

I am a real person. I’ve met some of you, others I’ve spoken with over the phone. You’ve seen pictures of me through my journey, of my friends and family members with me. Please trust your heart. I am your friend, the one you looked up to. If you joined Kimkins because you saw my face and trusted me when I proclaimed that you too can lose weight, trust me again. You CAN lose weight; AND you can do it healthfully. Do not be pulled into the “comfort” of the train ride or a fear to go against the status quo… that train is headed for a ravine and the bridge is out my friends.

I want to leave you with this old story about a king. This king‘s life was saved and he didn’t even know it till it was too late.

A King and His Hawk

One morning when he was home from the wars, he rode out into the woods to have a day's sport. Many of his friends were with him. They rode out gayly, carrying their bows and arrows. Behind them came the servants with the hounds.

It was a merry hunting party. The woods rang with their shouts and laughter. They expected to carry much game home in the evening.

On the king's wrist sat his favorite hawk, for in those days hawks were trained to hunt. At a word from their masters they would fly high up into the air, and look around for prey. If they chanced to see a deer or rabbit, they would swoop down upon it swift as any arrow.

Towards evening they started for home. The king had often ridden through the woods, and he knew all the paths. So while the rest of the party took the nearest way, he went by the longer road through a valley between two mountains.

The day had been warm, and the king was very thirsty. His pet hawk had left his wrist a flown away. It would be sure to find its way home.

The king rode slowly along. He had once seen a spring of clear water near this path. If he could only find it now! But the hot days of summer had dried up all the mountain brooks.

At last, to his joy, he saw some water trickling down over the edge of a rock. He know that there was a spring farther up. In the wet season, a swift stream of water always poured down here; but now it came only one drop at a time.

The king leaped from his horse. He took a little silver cup from his hunting bag. He held it so as to catch the slowly falling drops.

It took a long time to fill the cup; and the king was so thirsty that he could hardly wait. At last it was nearly full. He put the cup to his lips, and was about to drink.

All at once there was a whirling sound in the air, and the cup was knocked from his hands. The water was all spilled upon the ground.

The king looked up to see who had done this thing. It was his pet hawk.
The hawk flew back and forth a few times, and then alighted among the rocks by the spring. The king picked up the cup, and again he held it to catch the trickling drops.

This time he did not wait so long. When the cup was half full, he lifted it towards his mouth. But before it had touched his lips, the hawk swooped down again, and knocked it from his hands.

And now the king began to grow angry. He tried again, and for the third time the hawk kept him from drinking.

The king was now very angry indeed. "How do you dare to act so?" he cried. "If I had you in my hands, I would wring your neck!" Then he filled the cup again. But before he tried to drink, he drew his sword.

"Now, Sir Hawk," he said, "this is the last time."

He had hardly spoken before the hawk swooped down and knocked the cup from his hand. But the king was looking for this. With a quick sweep of the sword he struck the bird as it passed.

The next moment the poor hawk lay bleeding and dying at its master's feet.
"That is what you get for your pains," said the king.
But when he looked up for his cup, he found that it had fallen between two rocks where he could not reach it.

"At any rate, I will have a drink from that spring," he said to himself.
With that he began to climb the steep bank to the place from which the water had trickled. It was hard work, and the higher he climbed, the thirstier he became.

At last he reached the place. There indeed was a pool of water; but what was that lying in the pool, and almost filling it? It was a huge, dead snake of the most poisonous kind.

The king stopped. He forgot his thirst. He thought only of the poor dead bird lying on the ground below him.

"The hawk saved my life!" he cried, "and how did I repay him? He was my best friend and I have killed him."

He clambered down the bank. He took the bird up gently, and laid it in his hunting bag. Then he mounted his horse and rode swiftly home.

I am swooping down again to knock down your cup… but will you put away your sword?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Peace and calm in the Storm

I am amazed at the things that God brings us when we need them most. This morning I looked at one of the most quoted and yet most comforting Psalms. Let Psalm 23 give you peace.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
for HIS names sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear NO EVIL.
For YOU are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

If you are struggling no matter where you are. Find peace. God said that He has not given us a Spirit of Fear. Where there is confusion and turmoil, there is no peace. Where there are lies and deception there is no peace. It is only within the truth that we find that calm an peace. I want my friends to hear me. Those of you still behind the wall and those who have left, know that God gives incredible peace and comfort to those who seek Him. Look to Him for your answers.

I also want to say this. Remember that the enemy masquerades as an angel of light. He is deceptively beautiful. He lays a trap with flattery and sweet words. But remember that the Truth does not lead to confusion. Seek the truth and you will find peace.

While I still may have more to say in the future regarding my involvement with Kimkins; it is time for me to continue my journey. I will not be held captive, I will move on and grow.

This is my husband, Brian, and I at his best friends wedding last week.

It has been 6 months now. 6 months since I called goal. And yes... I am still maintaining. :) My weight has only fluctuated a little here and there which is normal but I am steady which is such a relief to me.

I do want to address a concern that many have had in reviewing my maintenance journals that were out there for a while. I removed them not because I had something to hide, but because it was confusing many. I know there were days and times that it looked like I would starve myself again but this really is not the case. I am one of the world's WORST journalers. I will admit that while on KK I did not eat much. Many times very little and dangerous low. This is why it took much longer for me to get comfortable with my maintenance routine. I had to increase my calories VERY slowly kind of in a healing process for my body. But I am not binge and crash dieting like I have heard speculating in some circles. I am consistently eating around 1400-1600 calories a day now which I am very comfortable with. My carbs are usually around 80 or so. Most of them come from fruit, the occasional natural Peanut Butter or almonds ;) and some various whole grain/brown foods. I eat a LOT more dairy now (love cheese!)and my DH jokes w/ me and my kids that I'm going to turn into a salad one day. I exercise (running again!) and feel wonderful.

Learning to eat a low carb maintenance took time... but I determined when I started that I WOULD NOT PANIC if I saw the scale rising. It's just time to re-adjust my strategy... I'll back off on the carbs a little (specifically on the grains)and step up the exercise and water a bit. This strategy has seemed to work very well for me so far. With the holidays coming we shall see, but I'm so confident in my new life now that I know God will give me the strength to know exactly how much is enough and when to say stop. And that my friends... is amazing.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

An Olive Branch...or ??? My Public Response To Kimmer's Offer

I received an interesting email last night from Kimmer. In it was an apology for acting in haste and banning me from the Kimkins website, along with an offer to re-instate my access. I wanted to make my response to her public so that there would be no confusion as to my intentions.


Thank you so much for your kind gesture. Kimkins has been my online home now for almost a year (October 2 was my join date). I have many many friends there that I care about deeply and would love to contact. However, my questions still remain unanswered. I know many good people who asked the same questions I did and were also banned.

Until my questions are answered honestly and completely, and unless those friends are shown the same gesture, I am afraid I cannot accept. Like I have said before, this is indeed a sad situation, and I do not know what the future holds for any of us, but whatever happens, I only pray that the TRUTH will set all of us free.


Monday, September 10, 2007

Questions and confusion

This post has taken me a while to come to. I feel though in order to confirm and support the things that my friends and I have all been witness to, I must. I have received many many questions from friends and those who are seeking wondering if I feel that they should continue with the Kimkins program or if they are safe in pursuing that lifestyle. I want to re-iterate, I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. I have only shared from my own experience and research. This entire situation has begun me thinking, however, that perhaps a certification in nutrition would be prudent for me to obtain so that I can continue on this journey with a bit more knowledge and expertise. With that said though, I want to share with all of you my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program simply based on my own experience and research thus far. I know there are and will be more, as I feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.

1)The Kimkins stand regarding laxatives is: “One full dose the first day, and then a reduced 25%-50% dose every day afterwards to maintain regularity.” All studies that I have found indicate that while continued dosing of a mild laxative is not necessarily addicting to some, it can be very detrimental to others causing the large intestine to become dependent on the herbs or laxative in order to contract and function properly. I asked to be pointed to the research and medical documentation that demonstrated otherwise. This would be separate from those who have been prescribed laxatives by their doctors for other reasons, but for the general public.

***On the laxative note. This is predominately necessary in the Kimmer Experiment portion of the program (Stillman’s). However, Dr Stillman’s notes say to increase vitamin C as a first option and Milk of Magnesia as a second, but not on a regular basis. See note on water below***

2)After researching the Atkins 72 and Stillman’s Quick Weight Loss Method plans, which are openly sited as being the basis for Kimkins, I saw a few staunch differences which I wanted to clarify. The claim is, that this program is safe because it was based on both of those plans written by doctors. However, it also contains Kimmer’s “tweaks.”

a.Fat is cut because of the calories. I wondered though about the dairy. All the foods listed within the program do contain many of the vitamin and mineral’s our bodies needs. However, the majority of Kimkins members are not eating enough of any of these things to obtain the amount of minerals especially that they need. I was concerned that the things that have been cut because of the fear of fat could be detrimental in the long run. Like I described in a previous post, Dr Atkins said “be shockingly un-afraid of fat” which I can see not being good on one hand… but it would be just as much of an opposite extreme to “be shockingly AFRAID of fat.”

b.Both programs push fluid intake. Stillman’s says 8 glasses of water a day and Atkin’s says as much water as thirst requires. Kimmer does not like to drink water, I don’t prefer it either, but I did try to get at least 40-60oz of water plus whatever calorie free beverage I chose during my journey and even now. The reason that Stillman required water on his program because he knew the strain that a high protein diet would have on the kidneys and therefore demanded the water to keep them flushed. Dr Atkins 72 plan encouraged the use of liquids but it was not required due to the higher veggie content, but even at that higher carb veggies (such as pumpkin and fruit like rhubarb) and good fats (avocado) were added to his program in the second week. The benefits of increased clear fluid intake are shown over and over, including assistance with regularity, so why is it not encouraged more?

c. I did see in one area where the Stillman’s program also gave this disclaimer: “This is a severe form of ketogenic diet. It is not easily sustainable for the long term. It may be useful in breaking plateaus and in those too impatient to allow their bodies to take the fat off gradually at its own pace.” But it does not say (at least where I could find it) that it can be done indefinitely w/o some risks.

d. My concern regarding both is this. Kimkins is a modified version of both of these diets combined, removing some things and adding others. The reasoning behind why Kimkins is so safe is because it was essentially “created” by 2 doctors so it is still “doctor approved.” BUT, Just as Kimmer says don’t modify Kimkins otherwise it’s not the same program. The same go for these two programs as well. So in essence, by modifying Atkins 72 and Stillman’s to be Kimkins you really no longer have a “Doctor approved” program because you have removed the things that they viewed as essential for their diet.

e. Kimmer claimed to me to have written a bariatric clinic to obtain a Doctor’s approval and review of the program. I requested a copy of the letters she had written.

3)I did lose on this program and seemingly have “thrived” in my results, aside from the side effects I experienced which I have already addressed. I am concerned that this is not as much of a “cookie cutter” program as Kimmer and others would like to believe. I am young, moderately good health before I began, and quite resilient. My body can hopefully take things ok with “minimal” side effects (not discounting however, that my calories were too low and I would much rather people follow their dietary program safely and not enter the danger zone that I did). However, my structure and nutritional needs are very different than someone who is 60, 70, or 13. I am in the prime of my life, and so eating this restricted, while maybe not the healthiest thing for our bodies, I reasoned that it’s better than obesity. I do have many concerns now though. Especially the older and younger members have some very different needs and promising that “you will lose no matter what” may be true to an extent, I cannot any longer condone recommending to anyone to cut out some things that they specifically may need for their bodies. At that point, it’s NOT just a matter of calories and math… you do have to take into consideration the vital nutrients and how much of each thing on this program they would have to consume to get those nutrients.

4)It was a well known fact that Kimmer had been accused of soliciting to teens. At first, I did not believe this accusation, and when Jimmy asked her about this directly she stated that she would never recommend this program for teens. I have always stated that too, as has my friend Deni. When we had our initial “Controversy” email session that was disclosed by Becky between Kimmer and moderators, it was brought up that a 13 year old had been in the chat room. Kimmer stated, “A 13 year old in chat? No way! Not OK ever. Please all/any of you let me know so I can talk to the account holder and tell them "nicely" about no kids and probably refund/cancel.” I needed to know then, why when one member out openly displaying her age as 14, and Deni and I were both trying to push her to talk to her mom and doctor, and reconsider what she was eating, did Kimmer come in and not only encourage her that her low cals were ok, but did not back us up in the need to talk to her doctor and mother? I did not understand why it suddenly was not important “whether you are 14 or 84” to have different diets. Nutritional needs at both those ages are very different, and it’s not just a matter of extra fat calories hanging on. Why was this teen not encouraged as well that this was not the place for her and “nicely” asked to leave?

5)I now had several questions regarding confusion surrounding Kimmer’s identity. Kimmer has told me things about herself at various times that are confusing and conflicting.

a.She speaks quite often about her sister and her use of Kimkins. She also told me that the picture in the red dress is in fact her. However, she also told me that not even her sister knows that she is Kimmer. How can this be? Would’t she see her picture on the site and put two and two together?

b. When I have called various times to speak with Kimmer, I have spoken with several other members of her household. One claimed to be her sister and another Brandon, and also one other unknown male. Each time, I have asked for “Heidi” and they have given the phone to her or told me she was not available. Months ago, Kimmer told me in one of our discussions “If you call me Heidi I might not know who you’re talking to,” insinuating that she is NOT Heidi. But, in that same conversation she also told me that calling her “Heidi” would keep her grounded and help remind her of where she came from. She reminisced to me also about when she was class mom for her boys and they called her “Ms Heidi.” However, she is now claiming that is not her name. I have a problem with this.

c. Kimmer speaks freely about Brandon and her involvement with him. However, the only reference ever throughout any business dealings and in records is for “Brandon Diaz.” If she is not Heidi Diaz, did he legally change his last name to coordinate with the name that she is operating under?

d. According to public records, “Heidi Diaz” birthday is in May. On that date, “her birthday,” this year, we made a fairly big “to do” about it being her birthday within the forum in which she accepted congratulations and spoke of how much she enjoyed celebrating her birthday. Was this not accurate? Did we have a “ghost” birthday celebration?

e. Kimmer has repeatedly allowed me to continue call and represent her as “Heidi.” I unknowingly participated in a deception that I am not comfortable with. And once again, I feel I owe my readers and friends an apology for this as well.

f. MULTIPLE times Kimmer informed me that she is the only one who handles the money. She doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. This is confusing to me if she is not Heidi, as the instructions for sending a check/money order state to make them out to “Heidi Diaz / Kimkins.”

6)I was concerned lastly regarding the future of Kimkins if Kimmer continued to conceal her identity. Kimmer has stated over and over that she is a very private person and does not want any recognition. However, I also know that as this program continues to grow, the question of “Who Is Kimmer” will not only exponentially get louder, but it will become more and more difficult for her to remain a hidden person without people writing the program off as a farce and a joke at best and an internet scam and criminal fraud at worst. If there is to be credibility behind the program then people need to know the credibility behind the founder. I believe that it is time for Kimmer to come out of hiding.

These are just some of my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer. After asking these questions as it pertained to my job as the Public Relations director for the Kimkins program, instead of forthrightly answering my questions, Kimmer’s immediate response (within 30 minutes) was to terminate my position as the PR director and offer a smaller position as head moderator which I refused. I explained to her that if I would not be allowed to ask questions for my job, and operate with integrity and a clear conscience, then I would not be able to participate within Kimkins as it was and asked to be removed as a moderator. Within the next few minutes I was banned from

I hope that by posting this that the facts may be taken for what they are, and I wish very much that Kimmer would simply come forward and answer me honestly. It hurt me terribly to have to do what I did. I cannot begin to express how much the support and encouragement that I received this last week has meant to me. I want to end with a passage from the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 4 vs 5.

Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.

I feel now that the Lord is bringing much to light that I had been blind to previously. I only pray that throughout this entire situation God will allow only the truth to prevail and that all other "things" fall to the wayside.

Saturday, September 8, 2007


I am astounded at the peace and clarity that comes from distance. As I step back and look over the events of this last year I am reminded of something that my mother used to tell me constantly. "Hindsight is 20/20." Life is full of "shoulda, coulda, woulda's," and it is what we do with those things in moving forward that determines our character and our ability to learn from our mistakes. The following question was asked on my friend Becky's blog and I feel that it would be helpful to all those who have been following me and my friends in our on-going involvement in this saga if I answer it here on my own journey blog.

"But I was focused on my own success and never considered that others would take the plan to the extreme. I have read Christin's blog and accept that she is sorry for her part in the deception.. what I can't understand is, if she had medical problems as a result of the diet, why did she accept the offer from WW and why did she later accept the position as PR Director? 20,000 members looked to her success and trusted her advice. But I suppose I should direct those questions to Christin."

I appreciate your acceptance of my apology. Your first statement there says a lot about my own journey as well. I guess Kimmer was right in one thing when she called me "naive." Yes, I was naive. I had never low carb dieted before Kimkins. I accepted what I thought was a solid plan. I did not know until I began working with Kimmer that there was no doctor's approval for the program. I had assumed that because it was a published program that I paid money for it had to be legit right? I know better now.... I'm not so naive anymore.

In regard to my health issues that I encountered... honestly, I again accepted them at the time as minor issues that would correct themselves in time. When WW called, I had only just reached my goal of 100 pounds lost. I was the latest success story. I was thrilled as you can imagine anyone would be at finally FINALLY being "normal." Those of you who have struggled for years and years with your weight know what a rush that can be. At that time, my hair issue had just begun, and it had been explained to me as "normal." Same with my menses. When we lose fat we lose estrogen, therefore our bodies have to "regroup." I explained it away to myself too.

I accepted the PR position because I still believed in the program. I still do - as a base. After researching extensively on the programs which Kimkins was based on (Atkins 72 and Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Program), I learned quite a few differences, classified as Kimmer "tweaks." These tweaks were addressed in my questions to Kimmer, as I began to realize that there were specific medical reasons that both of these doctors included things in their programs. I do still agree with the concept of a low carb/lean protein program. But notice the emphasis on LOW carb, not NO carb.

The basic Stillman's plan does incorporate even fruit and dairy, and Dr Atkins included other healthy veggie carbs too. Both plans emphasise the importance of hydration and water. While the basis for Kimkins tweaks centered around a disagreement with Dr Atkins theory of "Be shockingly UNafraid of fat," I believe there is an opposite extreme as well for people to "be shockingly AFRAID of fat."

You are right and it a tremendous weight on me to know of the thousands, well millions, of people saw my face and read my testimony. Thousands joined because of my story. They trust me and look up to me. This is almost overwhelming to me. I am just a mom.... just a mom from a little town in Texas. It was, and still is my desire to help those who are hurting. Why did I accept the offer from WW and the PR position? To help. To give hope. To let those who are hurting and struggling know that they don't have to live like that.

What does this to me now? I'd still like to hope that I am helping. Woman's World didn't just show people a plan... it showed them me. I want to encourage you and the rest of my readers in this. I am still here. I did lose the weight and I am still maintaining it. Let my loss inspire you, not just the way I did it. There is no one magic cure-all for obesity. If there was, we would all be skinny and not have the need for inspiration and encouragement. I am here because I understand the pain. I understand and will continue to blog and email and do whatever I can to help anyone achieve their goals no matter what program they chose to follow. All I ask is that you do it safely. Like I said over and over within the Kimkins forums. Learn to listen to your body... but not just where food is concerned as well. Pay attention to other physical cues that your body may be giving you. I should have listened to mine, and fortunately my side effects that came about were easily corrected. But each person is different. That is why there is no "cookie cutter" program. Each person will tweak and embellish to their own body's needs.

I've probably said a lot more here than you wanted to know... but this is me. This is who I am. Did I answer your question?

Friday, September 7, 2007

The New Road

Today I begin again. I have been thinking quite a bit about all that has transpired in my life over the last few months, culminating in my decision to leave the Kimkins program at the beginning of this week. I know that I will be posting more soon about my decision and the things that led up to it, but for now, I am reminded of the poem by Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I am beginning my new journey; to inspire, encourage, support, and lift all those who share the same dreams and struggles as I. Weight loss and successful maintenance is ours for the taking. Won't you journey with me down this road less traveled? I'll be there with you.... hand in hand.... ready for the unknown. If we go together, we can overcome.