Saturday, December 22, 2007

Merry Christmas

Christmas Text -

To my fellow travelers... I wish you a peaceful and joyous holiday. May it be filled with love and comfort. May your time be spent with those whom you love and who love you. May this next year be full of happier times, successes and triumphs. Please take some time over this next week to reflect on those who are most important to you and what this time of year means to all of us. Let us not forget those who cannot be with their loved ones right now. To those of you who are away from your loved ones or separated from them either temporarily or longer... I pray for peace and comfort. I pray for love and fond remembrance of holidays past. Let us approach the New Year with resolve. For the good and the bad, for ups and downs, for goodness and hope for a brighter future; I wish you all the best this Christmas season.

For unto us a child is born and His name shall be called Immanuel... God With Us.

Peace on Earth and Good Will to all (Low Carb) men.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

No one is above the law...

It is hard for me to understand how many people feel that they are somehow immune to the laws and regulations that govern our country. Without them, we would have nothing but chaos and disorder. This country was founded on morals and principles which, for the most part, we subscribe to in an effort to live peaceably and in harmony with our fellow citizens. There are those, however, who feel that they are above those laws and have a skewed view of what constitutes moral and legal behavior.

The actions and behaviors of Heidi (Kimmer) over the last several years have demonstrated that she feels she is not susceptible to same moral standards that most of us attempt to uphold.

The following is an excerpt of a conversation that we held on August 14th of this year, in which Heidi attempted to explain to me why it would be "impossible" for anyone to bring a class action lawsuit against her and Kimkins. I would also like to demonstrate the encouragement within this conversation for a menu for a Kimkins Boot Camp example that is barely over 700 calories. In the menu that I give in this example, I was attempting to put together a menu that was OVER 700 calories. It was very difficult, but notice that instead of encouraging larger portions and higher calories, Heidi was very ENCOURAGING of my attempts to put together a "safe" but still low calories boot camp menu.

Heidi: :)
2:08 PM christin, have time for Law 101?
2:13 PM me: sure
Heidi: in a nutshell, there can be no class action suit or any lawsuit
first they have to prove causation. very difficult. then proximate cause. even harder.
2:14 PM then there's "but for ..." hardest of all.
but let's say they do that. where will they get a lawyer?
if you were in a bad car accident -- broken arm, concusion but hit by a poor person with no insurance
you COULD NOT get a lawyer. there's no 'recovery'.
2:15 PM there's no money to receive.
it's the same with kimkins. there's no $$$.
they don't even have jurisdiction.
me: all that... for a $60 refund ;) nope... not worth it
Heidi: no lawyer would touch it. they don't even know who "kimmer" is.
2:16 PM well, in a real class action suit the company is ordered to pay legal costs. but who will pay?
did you see that petition?
what the hell kind of petition is that?
me: I haven't looked at it today
Heidi: the FDA must be laughing their a$$ off.
2:17 PM me: :) we're not offering any FDA regulated products ;)
Heidi: we will do what we can with XXXXXX XXXXXX, which probably isn't much.
and then move on. same as with XXXXXX.
me: right
Heidi: i haven't replied on purpose. and i'm sure it's making 'somebody' very mad. :)
me: lol
2:18 PM Heidi: anyhow, bottom line for today's law lesson: no recovery, no lawyer
me: hey... how's this sound for an "acceptable" boot camp menu:
bfast: 2 egg omlete w/ 1/2 cup tomatoes, 2 oz lean ham
2:19 PM lunch, 4oz ground turkey "taco" salad, 2 cups mixed greens and 1 tbls of salsa for "dressing"
Heidi: 1/2 cup tomatoes is half of list 2 veggies for the day?
me: yes
Heidi: k, go on
me: dinner 4 oz grilled dill salmon and a 2cup spinach salad
2:20 PM cals 705, fat 35g, carb 11g, protein 82
Heidi: not bad!
2:21 PM sorry, addition to law lesson for today
me: this also does not include the dressing on the spinach salad ;)
Heidi: have you ever sued anyone? or family court?
me: no
Heidi: ahhh, ok.
when you file "moving papers" (lawsuit)
me: I have testified in a restraining order hearing.. that's about it
2:22 PM Heidi: you have to make allegations. they must be substantiated.
me: backed up w/ doctors reports etc
Heidi: not just that
1) prove their health before kimkins
2) prove that "but for" doing kimkins they would not have damages
2:23 PM 3) MUST have damages (be hurt)
all of this takes $$$. they have to hire a doctor, get tests, deposition of doctors & whoever they can find at kimkins ;)
2:24 PM AND doctors & experts testify at 4 hour minimum increments. $300-500/hr, $1500 a day
plus their initial filing fees
no lawyer will take that on if they can't recover the $$$
me: of course not!
Heidi: want proof (lol, like you're calling me a liar)
when you're bored with nothing to do today :D
2:25 PM call a local attorney make up a story
me: yeah... cause I ain't got nothing else to do ;) LOL
Heidi: "i was in an accident today blah blah and make it bad ... tell him that the driver is uninsured and so are you."
see how far you get.
2:26 PM technically you can get a judgment and sue the person in court. but so what? how would you get your $$? can't.
it's called "deep pockets". kimkins doesn't have any pockets. :)
honestly, i'm not as dumb as they all think i am
me: LOL Don't have to tell me that!
2:27 PM Heidi: XXXXXXXXXX's husband is a lawyer. you don't notice him jumping on the lawsuit bandwagon.
me: that does put my mind at ease though a bit... I think anyone even attemptin such a thing right now would get really discouraged really fast
Heidi: listen
me: so thanks for the lesson!
Heidi: there's nothing for them to do BUT
2:28 PM if anything ever happened and you were involved, i'm here for you $$$

Heidi at this point obviously thought that she was above even consideration for a class action lawsuit, not to mention criminal legal action.

In the last week I have observed many actions for which I am saddened. It is important to remain focused. The purpose and internal wheels have not ceased. There are many important factors to take into consideration when shutting down an illegal operation such as Kimkins. This is the time to continue to remain focused on getting the word out about the dangerous program that is still taught and demonstrated within the Kimkins website and forums, and preventing others from falling prey.

I again want to stress the importance to those out there who have not already, to join the class action lawsuit that HAS been filed against Heidi Diaz and Kimkins. If Heidi is to be stopped, then action must be taken.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ready for the Holidays?

As I stated in a previous post, the holidays can be very difficult for all of us when it comes to learning to eat healthy. Please join me today as I join Connie Bennet, Author of "Sugar Shock!"; Jimmy Moore of Livin La Vida Low Carb; Laura Dolson from Low Carb journalism; and Judy Barnes Baker - author of "Carb Wars: Sugar Is the New Fat" cookbook; to discuss surviving the holidays living a low carb, sugar free lifestyle.

The show will air live at 3:00 EST and can be found here:

Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show

If for some reason you miss the show, you can listen afterwards HERE.

Here is the link for the promotional write up the Connie has posted on her blog: Low-Carb Experts Help You Survive Sweet Holiday Temptations on the Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show Tomorrow

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Forgiveness and Clarity

Due to the events over the last few days it is important to me to re-visit what the intention of my blog is. The title of my musings is “The Journey.” I began by taking the road less traveled and it has rarely taken me where I thought I would ever go. There have been tears, fears, excitements, joys, ups and downs, twists and turns. Many times the journey has resembled a roller coaster instead of a road. But, none-the-less, it is my journey to reconciliation and life after Kimkins.

Part of my journey has been a steady plea to those still involved in the program to recognize the deceptions that have taken place and are continuing to be prevalent within Heidi Diaz’ statements and business practices. It has never been my intention to attack any one person for falling prey to those deceptions. I only plead with them to listen to reason and to open their eyes to the possibility that they too may have been taken in.

I was reflecting over my journey for the last few months and came across this post: “The Excellence of Love” in which I go over a passage from 1 Corinthians 13. I am instructed to love. Love and forgiveness are the foundations of what gives my life purpose and clarity. They are what my Lord offers to me when I by no means deserve it. Who am I then, to withhold it from anyone else who has offended or done wrong by me? I cannot, because it goes against who I am and who God desires me to be.

This weekend I have communicated with the now former PR director of Kimkins, Jeannie Baitinger. She expressed to me her great grief over her involvement with Heidi Diaz. The following is an excerpt from a note she left me this morning:

“I was wrong to accuse you of any wrong doings. In fact, I can never apologize to you enough. You did say you forgive me and that means more to me than anything.”

“I will do everything I can to cooperate fully with John Teidt and that is a promise.”

“Your warmth and generosity really is amazing. I never expected you of all people to be there for me, yet there you were. I didn't deserve it at all… I was wrong, so wrong.”

Nehemiah 9:21
“But thou art a God of forgiveness. Gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness. And thou didst not forsake them.”

Jeannie, as we discussed, there are many questions to answer, and much to bring to light. I do forgive you, and without forgiveness, the path to our understanding would be foggy and indiscernible. Our clarity begins with an open heart.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Practical Problems

Thanksgiving is scary. For anyone who has struggled with their weight, whether just a few pounds up and down… or the drastic weight loss winners… it’s scary. We know what happens at this time of the year. Inhibitions are mysteriously released and we lose control over the stuffing, potatoes and apple pie. (For my European readers bear with me, I do have a point.)

I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.

The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.

Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?

Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.

The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.

What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.

As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.

As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.

As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.

EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Misplaced Motivation

"There is no sadder grief than that which lies at the bottom of a life that has been wrecked through deception"

~Lemuel K. Washburn

"An honorable man or woman is one who is truthful; free from deceit; above cheating, lying, stealing, or any form of deception. An honorable man or woman is one who learns early that one cannot do wrong and feel right. A man's character is judged on how he keeps his word and his agreements."

~Ezra Taft Benson

I feel the time is right for me to address the questions and concerns that have risen in regards to my motivation and purpose in my stance against the Kimkins diet and exposing Heidi Diaz. It is no secret that for the last year I was a avid supporter of the Kimkins diet. After all, I lost 100lbs. I was assured with absolute confidence that being overweight was far greater a risk than any I would subject myself to by utilizing this diet. So with much gusto and enthusiasm I embraced the teachings of "Kimmer" and touted them as she had instructed me.

I excitedly traveled to Los Angeles for the Woman's World photo shoot and believed with all my heart that I was helping motivate others to lose that dreaded fat through my actions. After all... Heidi had done it... she not only lost it but maintained it for 5 years! I was sure there was hope for me to finally win the battle of the bulge. I wrote my "How I Did It" thread again with enthusiasm and inspiration. All done with the encouragement and flattery that I was a "star." I was Heidi's cover girl and her pupil.

My participation in Kimkins was enthusiastic to say the least. So much so that the side effects/symptoms of malnutrition and starvation that I was experiencing I was grasping at every straw that I could to justify and explain what was happening to me. I went to my doctor to get a physical in July after being off of the program for 4 months. My blood work and other things all showed up ok and when I told my doctor about my weight loss... I simply explained it as "Lean proteins and veggies." He was fine with that, with only a passing comment about a high protein diet being ok for those who are "younger and more resilient." When my blood work came in ok I clung to that as validation that I was ok... however... my hair loss had still not slowed down and my menstrual cycle was still very irregular.

As the PR representative I began to do research with the rising "grumblings" against Kimkins and Kimmer, I felt it was my responsibility to "debunk" what I was told were misconceptions and misinformation's regarding the program. As I researched and began to delve into the issues arising in following a very low calorie diet such as Kimkins, I realized that I was not alone in my symptoms. I grew increasingly worried as I learned that the symptoms I was having were very much in line with those who suffered from eating disorders such as Anorexia.

Not long there after was when Becky left/was fired from the program. I had begun to see the person behind the mask. Although I had desperately wanted to believe Kimmer, and to question now was to go back on everything I had trusted in and based my life on for the last year, I knew that if I was to represent the company with integrity and present it (the Kimkins company) as an ethical and upstanding growing corporation, I must clear the air of the murk that was beginning to set in.

The last couple of weeks in August were agonizing for me emotionally as I gathered my thoughts and evidence for the questions that I had for Kimmer/Heidi. I knew based on Becky's experience that my asking would only have one result, and yet I still believed in the potential goodness of Heidi and I wanted desperately to believe that what I knew would happen wouldn't. However, my own experience was becoming a frightening reality and the questions within the boards of people becoming very ill and growing medical problems were too loud to ignore and the questions must be asked.

On September 3, 2007 while on vacation with my family and with many tears and great heaviness I submitted my questions to Heidi Diaz, knowing what the result would be for my "defiance" and inquiries. I have written about my questions previously but again listed for your review, I requested verification and documentation on the following points:

1) The safety of her claims regarding laxative use.

2) The claim that the program was technically "doctor approved" because it was based off of programs written by doctors, and a statement that a doctor's approval for the program was long overdue. I also requested a copy of the email that she had claimed to have sent to a bariatric specialist

3)Documentation that the program (being low cal) was safe "no mater if your 14 or 84."

4) The issue that had arisen regarding teens utilizing the website and her encouragement to continue on the plan when she had clearly stated that teens were not allowed.

5) Questions followed up with examples clearing the air regarding her identity as Heidi Diaz.

Here is the response that I received from Heidi about 30 minutes after I asked those questions:

"I understand that you're a person of integrity and it seems you've had a
nice life (meaning you might be a bit protected or naive -- which is nice!)...

...You will discontinue as Director of Media & PR. I have someone in
mind who can step in...."

In a following email:

"...I don't see that there's a future for you with Kimkins unless you can
come up with something that wouldn't jeopardize your integrity..."

So am I a disgruntled employee? No. Since I left Kimkins I have had almost daily contact with people who have been hurt. Physically, emotionally, and psychologically from this woman and this twisted eating plan, and I am deeply saddened.

Shortly after returning from my "vacation" I decided that it was necessary for me to return to my doctor and come clean with what I had actually done. If you have followed my blog you know what the results of that meeting were. With tears and grief I shared my story with him and his concern was genuine.

My side effects, however scary, have been minimal compared to the stories that are coming to me. My heart breaks for these people, and they are crying out for a voice. If I was spared greater damage to be their voice, then so be it and I am prepared to do that for them.

My last point is this... you may look at me and say "Well look at her... she lost weight, she looks great... so what if she lost hair, periods, whatever... she's healthy now and has maintained it."

I cannot stress to you how difficult maintenance coming off of this program has been. I will be further blogging about my maintenance strategy at a later date, but the price has been high, and the road so much harder than weight loss ever was. Attempting to repair the damage that I had done to my body has been and continues to be a struggle.

I am not backing down. Yes, I promoted Kimkins. Yes, I believed at one time that it was a lifesaver for me. Knowing what I do now... would I do it again? I honestly don't know. Like so many overweight people today I was desperate. However, my motivation was Kimmer. Her claim to have lost the weight and kept if off... I would want to ask those using the program now though... what is the motivation... where is the proof that you will be safe after you lose the weight and how will you keep it off? A weight loss journey is not just the beginning... it has a middle and an end; it is a complete change in your way of life and thinking. What kind of life will a cycle of restrictive yo-yo eating be though?

I hope that I have been able to clear up some questions that have been circulating around. Please know that my motivation, although misplaced for a time period, has never been anything other than helping others make better lives for themselves.

For such a time as this.... I am prepared.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Purposes and PR

I want to begin this blog by thanking the many many members of the Low Carb Community for your overwhelming support and kindness to me over the last few weeks. I have such a wonderful caring community, and I do value each of you.

As I was preparing for my trip to New York to be on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet I really had to search within myself for what exactly was my motivation for going on the show. I want to share with you all an email that I received this morning from a former Kimkins member, Tina AKA Lil_Red. Tina has been emailing me since I left Kimkins in an effort to determine and discover for herself where her own journey would take her. I want you to hear this in Tina's words as she describes what she has discovered about herself and this program that all of us were so convinced was our golden ticket to permanent weight loss:

"Hello ,
My name is Tina Coates aka Lil_Red. I wanted to write this out for everyone to see. I am not doing this to win brownie points with anyone, I am doing it for the purpose to let the past, present and future Kimkins users know that this is not a healthy nor safe diet. I joined Kimkins in June of 2007 withe same intent as everyone else; to lose weight as promised , fast and safe. I have since then started to have issues with my health. The first issue I had was about the end of July. I started to have really itchy burning skin. All over my body not just in one area. I first noticed it on my face. When I would scratch or rub it would burn and hurt like heck. I chalked it off to what others kept telling me "oh it's probably an allergy Lil_Red " , "what have you ate different?" I cut out things I thought it might be. That meant eggs, aspartame, splenda and I even avoided any contact with the sun, thinking it might be a sun allergy. Nothing worked. Continuing on to lose the unwanted lbs I started to experience hair loss. At first it was a couple of hairs here and a couple there. I thought nothing of it because I had thick hair. I use to joke around saying to my hair dresser "well, at least I will never go bald!" Now that just isn't funny anymore as I have little hair left. And yet, I continued on still to shed the lbs. I started to have chest pains , thinking it was around the gallbladder area I would go and have it looked at. I went in for the blood test and it is not my gallbladder. I am still uncertain what it is. I still get the pains and shortness of breath. I am hoping you will read my story and know this is for real. This is not a joke. And I am in no way saying this to get publicity nor am I saying this cause I had anything to do with Heidi aka "Kimmers". I am saying this to warn you peple this is dangerous. You can lose the weight in a healthy way. Thanks for reading my story."

Tina - you are not alone.

While on the show I was challenged by the new PR director of Kimkins, Jeannie AKA Tippy Toes, in my statement about how I hear every day of people being hospitalized, hurt, and sick through utilizing the Kimkins program. Jeannie, in answer to your request, I do hear you. I present for you though Tina, who is just one of many stories I have been witness to now since leaving Kimkins. Look around your forums. When I left, people were posting daily about issues that they were having looking for answers. Their bodies are screaming in malnutrition and they are simply encouraged to speak to their doctors. I understand that answer, and gave it myself even. But the issue does not lie there. The issue lies in the original problem, with the nutrient deficient program that they are following.

Kimkins as a diet is not stable. Yes, the "minimum" calorie count has been upped to 800. But I'm here to tell you, I put together, while I was still working for Kimkins, a Boot Camp Menu in an effort to "prove" that it could be done with a higher calorie count. Utilizing the specified protein limits and vegetable limits given for that option, I was only able to come up with a menu that totalled just over 700 calories. I have proof via screen shots of Heidi stating that the boot camp option usually averaged around 500 calories a day and that's the way it is. I'm sorry, but 2 cups of lettuce for lunch and dinner and 1/2 a cup of cooked veggies a day is NOT enough to provide the essential vitamins that our bodies need.

While the plans on the inside may be changing, what is published has not. What about all those who have joined, printed the lists, and taken them at face value. They put it on their refrigerator and read "no more than 20 carbs," and they take that as is, never coming on the forums to ask questions or for clarification. Kimmer (Heidi) herself adamantly insisted to myself, Becky, Deni, and other moderators that when you take her plans and tweak them, they are no longer Kimkins. You have now simply published a modified Atkins program which will leave you open for even further legal complications.

Yes, people are getting sick, and I have proof. Not from extremes, but from doing exactly what they have been told and understand. There is no amount of public relations spinning that can be done to give the peace of mind back to Tina that her health has not been harmed. It cannot give another member's gall-bladder back. It cannot undo the fear of another who spent days in the hospital due to an electrolyte crash. These are not bogus stories made up by someone who had a vendetta against Heidi or the program. These are real people who are suffering.

My question is... how many more? Jeannie, this is in no way meant to question your credibility or motivation. I had the same motivation and received the same emails as you speaking of encouragement and motivation. You can still motivate people in weight loss without endangering. We can still motivate without aiding a criminal fraud.

Will it take someone with a heart condition dying of a potassium deficiency? How many more must suffer?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

To Exercise or Not to Exercise... that is the question.

One of the selling points of the Kimkins program is that exercise is not necessary for weight loss. In fact, this quote from Kimmer shows the viewpoint of the program on a regular exercise routine:

"Did you know exercise doesn't work? Nope. I know you're shocked! It's the most common fallacy in the diet business -- work out and lose weight. Are they serious?

Check any exercise calculator. A 200 pound woman who walks 2 miles a day will only burn 175 calories! This means it will take 3 weeks of daily walking to lose only 1 pound!!! Just 1! Walking 2 miles every day!

Here's the math: 175 calories x 20 days = 3500 calories (1 pound)

This is why the Kimkins Diet is a weight loss Super Star! Kimkins is thermogenic. You burn more calories than regular "slow" diets -- and it works without exercise! It's true! Kimkins members typically lose 5% of their total body weight in the first 10 days! Wow!

It's your choice: Depend on exercise to lose 1-2 pounds in 30 days or pick thermogenic Kimkins and lose 10% of your total body weight in 30 days! Hmmm, I know what sounds better to me!"

I decided to check for myself just to make sure my numbers were right. If you're anything like me, you measure your walking/exercise most often by time, not distance. By the same calculations on Calorie, a 200lb person walking briskly for 45 minutes will burn actually 395.99 calories. This is equal to just under a pound a week (walking 6 days a week). However, I do not want to talk about just the weight loss benefits of exercise today. I have discovered the multitude of additional benefits that regular activity can give us, weight management aside.

On the Mayo Clinic website there are 7 additional reasons listed as to why regular exercise is valuable to our overall health transformation. After all... isn't that the goal of our journey? Health.

I learned along my path that the goal was not necessarily to lose weight. While that was one pleasant side effect. The true target was to achieve an outcome of better health. Losing weight was just step number 1. I realized that in order to obtain a lifetime of healthful living, I would have to do more than just temporarily change my way of eating. It was to be a life change. Not only would I have to switch my paradigm regarding the way I ate on a daily basis; another one of those life changes would have to be implementing a regular exercises routine.

The reason that most, if not all, doctors strongly recommend exercise as a part of a healthy diet program is because of the vast variety of health benefits that it provides. Active muscle burns fat at a much faster rate than an in-active muscle. When you are exercising and building your muscle mass, not only are you burning calories, but you are increasing your fat burning ability. Building those muscle's also gives you a natural endorphin release which helps to improve mood and psychological well-being as well. Ever notice how good you feel after a well done work out? So not only is it good for your body physically, it's good emotionally and psychologically.

Here is a list of some other very specific benefits to a proper exercise routine from the Nutristrategy website:

Specific Health Benefits of Exercise

Heart Disease and Stroke. Daily physical activity can help prevent heart disease and stroke by strengthening your heart muscle, lowering your blood pressure, raising your high-density lipoprotein (HDL) levels (good cholesterol) and lowering low-density lipoprotein (LDL) levels (bad cholesterol), improving blood flow, and increasing your heart's working capacity.

High Blood Pressure. Regular physical activity can reduce blood pressure in those with high blood pressure levels. Physical activity also reduces body fatness, which is associated with high blood pressure.

Noninsulin-Dependent Diabetes. By reducing body fatness, physical activity can help to prevent and control this type of diabetes.

Obesity. Physical activity helps to reduce body fat by building or preserving muscle mass and improving the body's ability to use calories. When physical activity is combined with proper nutrition, it can help control weight and prevent obesity, a major risk factor for many diseases.

Back Pain. By increasing muscle strength and endurance and improving flexibility and posture, regular exercise helps to prevent back pain.

Osteoporosis. Regular weight-bearing exercise promotes bone formation and may prevent many forms of bone loss associated with aging.

Psychological Effects. Regular physical activity can improve your mood and the way you feel about yourself. Researchers also have found that exercise is likely to reduce depression and anxiety and help you to better manage stress.

Millions of Americans suffer from illnesses that can be prevented or improved through regular physical activity.

• 13.5 million people have coronary heart disease.
• 1.5 million people suffer from a heart attack in a given year.
• 8 million people have adult-onset (non-insulin-dependent) diabetes.
• 95,000 people are newly diagnosed with colon cancer each year.
• 250,000 people suffer from a hip fractures each year.
• 50 million people have high blood pressure.
• Over 60 million people (a third of the population) are overweight.

Throughout my journey I have been asked if I had to exercise to get the weight off. I used to answer people that it wasn't necessary, but that I did just because I wanted to. I realize now that my idealism's were incorrect. Exercise is very important. When a program tells you that exercise is not necessary you are only harming yourself. While I understand that there are many people who do not enjoy exercise, I would have to ask... what is it that you don't like? What do you have to lose by at least giving it a try?

By taking control of your eating you are taking the first step in bringing your life into balance. The second is to implement a regular activity routine. It's a powerful cycle. When you exercise, you feel better, when you feel better, you want to eat better. You will not have to work as hard to control your weight, and you will start loving what you see in the mirror.

Renowned psychologist Dr Phil McGraw said in his book "The Ultimate Weight Solution:"

"You must ramp up your exercise effort so that your body is physiologically capable of losing weight and counteracting weight gain. When you do this, you maximize your weight loss and your ability to keep your weight off permanently.

The result, the ultimate outcome is that you can lay claim to most or all of the powerful and positive payoffs of exercise... and keep your weight off for good."

Should you be wary of a program that promises you do not have to exercise to better your health? Absolutely.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Why Do We Fail At Maintenance?

This question has been haunting me recently as I’ve passed my one year mark of living a low carb lifestyle. Statistics say that once you lose the weight, most people usually FAIL at keeping it off. Why? What is it that makes living a thin lifestyle for those of us who lived the majority of our lives overweight so difficult? Do we follow a program just to get the weight off or do we truly recognize the need and necessity even of shifting paradigms?

The first time I lost a significant amount of weight I got pregnant almost immediately. At that point, I for some reason thought that I could just go back to eating the way I had previously enjoyed myself. After all, it was for the baby right? The pounds began to pack back on, and this was multiplied when we ended up having complications with the pregnancy and losing that baby. But what happened to me mentally? I obviously had taken the mindset that I needed to lose the weight, but not to keep it off. Bad habits crept back in and before I knew it… not only had I gained it all back, but plus some.

I spent the next 2 years yo-yoing before conceiving again and with that (successful) pregnancy I gained over 70lbs! I knew I was overweight, but just wasn’t in “that place.” I always used the excuse “I could never give up my bread… potatoes… (insert your poison of choice here).” So obviously it wasn’t priority in my life at that point.

Slowly, things began to compile and the veil began to be lifted as I started seeing just what was going on in my own life that was hindering me making a real difference. What was it that was hindering me? Me.

I realized that I was serving me. “I want… I can’t give up…. I deserve…. I can’t pass on….” all about the “I.”

What happened when I started losing weight at lightning speed? My thought process shifted, but from one self serving “I” to another. “I want it off NOW.” Patience and self-control played second fiddle to my insatiable desire to go faster and faster. I was encouraged and spurred on with the hope and false information that this was perfect and a great way to lose. And I bought it! Totally! Never-mind what damaging effects I might have permanently been putting on my body. But one thing rang through….

My mom asked me shortly after I lost the weight if I had in actually traded one selfish ambition for another. Is this what had happened? Is this why we have such a hard time maintaining weight-loss to begin with? I suddenly realized that I had still not completely dealt with the heart issue.

I began my journey with good intentions. I wanted to make a better life for myself, my family, my health, and to honor my Lord with my body. But the road to destruction is often lined with good intentions. When the complements start flying that same self-centered thinking begins to creep back in. “If they like me now… just wait till they see me then…” I don’t think that anyone would deny that being on the cover of a magazine is pretty much the ultimate compliment that you can get when you’ve been losing weight. Especially for someone like me who has been overweight my entire life.

Since leaving the Kimkins program I have learned so much. God has blessed me with incredible friends and family who have supported me 100% in everything that I’ve done. One thing that I discovered however is that by not addressing the base line issue that I had forgotten why I decided to begin my journey in the first place. I chose to live the way that God intended me to live. I no longer face a self-serving attitude of more more more (or less as the case may be). I found that I needed to re-adjust my paradigm and realize that successful weight loss and maintenance was not about getting complements or feeling good about myself, while those are definite benefits and perks, they are not the goal. True maintenance begins in the heart.

By transferring my thinking to a goal of honoring God with my body and extending my life in a healthy way for my children and family, it is no longer about “I.” Food is for nourishment first and enjoyment second. At first, it seems like a tremendous paradox… if we didn’t enjoy food so much then we wouldn’t have a weight problem, but if the pleasure was taken out of eating, then we wouldn’t feel the need to nourish. We have taste-buds for a reason. It is a gift so that we can enjoy this aspect of life. But like other aspects it is a gift we seem to abuse.

By over-indulging we seem to counter-act the exact thing that God intended for us. I believe He would much rather us savor and completely enjoy the flavor of a strawberry, instead of smothering it in sugar and bleached flour and taking away from the nourishment and satisfaction that can come from a simple serving of the fruit. When we over-indulge, we desensitize ourselves and our taste-buds to the actual pleasure that can come from eating GOOD foods.

Ask anyone who has been eating healthfully for an extended period of time. Whole, healthy GOOD foods seem to take on an all new vibrancy. Why? Because we had become desensitized to the actual flavors of the foods themselves. I am constantly amazed at how good I feel and the pleasure that comes from eating well. I can now enjoy those moments of healthful eating with greater satisfaction than the food can give me; because I know that I am honoring God with my choices, and I am giving my children a much brighter future with a healthy and participating mother.

While I am still far from what I would call a complete success as far as the maintenance goes, I feel confident that this time it is for good. It’s been 7 months. This time, it will stick. This time, it’s not about me.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

KTLA News Story Part2

Click HERE to watch.

Part 2 of the KTLA News story that aired last night exposing Kimkins and Heidi Diaz.

2 Corinthians 3:16
"But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Zechariah 8:16
"These things are the things that you shall do: Speakthe truth to one another render in your gates judgements that are true and make for peace, do not devise evil in your hearts against one another and love no false oath, for all these things I hate declares the Lord."

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Kimkins In the Light

My friends, as I write to you today I have a mixture of emotions ranging from relief, to sadness, to grief, to peace. Late last night across the country links began to go out to a news story that aired on Los Angeles, California's KTLA news station. The title of the story - "Internet Diet Scam Exposed."

Watch the Video HERE

I don't think that much more needs to be said other than I can confirm now that the voice of Heidi Diaz within this video stating "No Comment" is the same voice that I have spoken with multiple times over this last year as "Kimmer."

Please take a moment today to pray for Heidi and all those who have been hurt emotionally, psychologically, or physically by all of this.

2 Corinthians 3:16
"But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Used or abused?

It has recently been suggested that people such as myself abused the Kimkins plan by cutting our calories to unhealthy levels on our own in opposition of the true intent of the plan. I am sorry to say that this is not true.

Tippy said: "I think it was well said previously that Kimkins diet has been abused by some members at their own doings who now point the finger in blame towards us." This statement is incorrect. This is the way we were instructed to follow the plan "correctly."

It saddens and sickens me to admit this about myself, but I feel that I must share in order to bring to light proof of the eating disordered behavior that I not only engaged in, but was encouraged in.

February 14, 2007 - I wrote:

"TOPIC: Kimmer, Becky, anyone!! Check my Fitday please - I need help!!!!"
I have been pretty much stalled all month. I'm under a lot of stress here at home w/ my daycare, but I don't know if that would contribute or not. I've been K/E pretty much for the most part w/ a few Kimkins days here and there. Is my body just confused by my mixing it up?? I try to drink 40-80oz of water a day on top of what is here and every now and then I do drink a diet soda, but I get the sodium free splenda sweetened ones. Please help!!!! I have got to get to goal!!!!

Here is a screen shot of my Fitday averages at this point in time:

Average Calories: 377 Fat: 11g Carbs: 8g Protein: 58g

By all indications medically and scientifically, I was in actuality, starving. I was showing very clear signs of grossly anorexic behavior. However, in my zeal to lose and blind faith in a program that I believed I was utilizing "perfectly" I failed to see the warning signs my own body was giving me.

Kimmer replied:

Your calories are low, protein good, but I have questions about whether quantities are accurate if you're not using a food scale and some days are missing.

Be sure of measurements. How do you figure .1 cup of salsa? .1 cup of olives? .1 cup of shredded cheese?

Skip all sausage, even turkey, if you're not losing
Skip bacon
Skip pork roast
Skip pastrami

What are you using to weigh protein like 2 oz, 3 oz? Use specific ounces, not "1 serving"

Measure coffee mug, very few are 8 oz, most are 12-16 oz

Keep veggie limits to 3 cups raw or 2 + .5 cup cooked. How did you measure .75 cup of cooked cabbage?

Egg beaters, 1 cup? That's quite a bit. Better to have fewer eggs & an extra salad serving or lettuce roll-up.

I have to ask -- what's with all the egg whites? And what do you do with the yolks?


Kimmer thank you so much for checking this out for me. In answer to your questions. As far as the .1 cup thing - I couldn't find an option for a tsp measurement on those and I wanted to have it in there... so that's my best guess for the amt.

I have a food scale that I use to measure ounces and that's what I've used.

The 1 serving thing... those are individual servings _base_d on the packaging when they don't give me the ounces. Do I need to measure them anyways? I'm just going by the serving size (ie 1 piece).

I had a feeling about the pork roast thing... my SIL wanted German for her bday and that was the ONLY thing I could find on their menu that was remotely close to plan - that's where the cabbage was too... (sauerkraut, but fitday doesn't have that, so I know the sodium was WAY up there that day) The serving they put on the plate was aprox 1 cup. I didn't eat the whole thing, but I'm pretty sure I ate more that
1/2 cup so that's why I did the .75. It was an estimate since we were out and I couldn't measure exactly.

I've decided to cut coffee all together for a while to see if that helps pick it up... Pray for me, it's going to be VERY difficult.

I was doing the EW challenge that's what all the EW is for... higher protein less fat... forgive me but I throw the yolk out. I'm looking for boxed EW so that it will be a bit easier... But i'm out of pretty much everything so I'm having to make do with what I can till I get to the grocery store.

Thanks for your suggestions, anything else?


Christin, you did really good at a German restaurant! My family is German and, yikes! Yeah, that meal will mess with your progress because restaurants do things to enhance their food -- but it didn't trigger a binge and you enjoyed family time!

No need to weigh prepackaged stuff, but is anything you could substitute the sausages with? Even diced chicken chunks? I still cook up 2 breasts (various spices), dice into "dice" size squares and keep them in a Gladware bowl in the fridge. I grab a couple whenever I want a quick snack.

If you're a fish fan, there's a whole 'sea' world. Sea World, get it -- I'm so funny (not!)

Christin, you're doing good and you've lost soooo much! Keep it up, it will come. Maybe try limiting protein to 3 oz portions, you can always get more if you need/want it.

Or, my sister's favorite "snack" during her weight loss. The romaine lettuce roll ups. Layout a big leaf, lay 1 slice of Oscar Meyer sliced sandwich ham, either a squirt of mustard or a drizzle of salsa, roll up & eat -- 10 calories.
(emphasis mine)

Not only were my low calories praised and encouraged, but I was encouraged to cut even more than what I already was consuming on a diet of primarily egg whites which had received full blessing as well. I did not "abuse" the plan.

True that no one forced me to eat this way, or told me that I must follow everything that Kimmer said. But, when you feel as though you've been handed the keys to true permanent weight loss, and you are so close to achieving that goal, it is difficult not to be blinded by your own aspirations, especially when receiving such encouragement. I was affirmed that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I used the plan. Plain and simple.

Friday, September 28, 2007

My Video Blog Transcript

Jimmy Moore has been kind enough to put together a transcript of my video for those of you who are on dial-up or hearing impared and cannot watch my video. Thanks Jimmy!!

Livin' La Vida Low Carb - Kimkins 'Cover Girl' Passionately Declares Diet 'Dangerous' After Health Issues Emerge

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Incentives Traded for Loyalty

I have debated about publishing the following, but after reading conversations released today by The Truth In Hiding concerning bonuses, I am going to share publicly the incentives Kimmer offered me as Public Relations Director for Kimkins.

In my previous blog, Ethics vs Economics, I eluded to having to make a financial decision to walk away from Kimkins. Believe me; I struggled with what to do. I risked losing a lot.

The following conversation was in reference to obtaining new magazine articles and contacts:

Aug 20, 2007

Heidi: if you land us a magazine story (even if not the cover)
me: :)
Heidi: you'll get a company car :)
wha?? LOL
9:59 PM Heidi: :)
me: you're pulling my leg...
Heidi: not at all
me: :) great incentive! ;)
10:00 PM Heidi: and a raise :)

I submitted my story and articles to multiple magazines; however, I had not received a contact back from any at that point.

This next conversation is in reference to contacts with the reporters who scout stories for Harpo Studios (Oprah Winfrey):

Aug 22, 2007

Heidi: i'm telling you now, that if you get "us" on oprah $100,000 to you. promise.
11:12 AM me: wow... that's a very generous offer.... I'm working on it!!!

The next conversation concerned Heidi’s offer to me as PR director and head moderator. For reference, the “dead” comment refers to her being without access to the Kimkins forums for a time.

Aug 25, 2007:
Heidi: 1) since i'm "dead" could i ask you to ask the others about being admins?
me: sure

5:56 PM Heidi: what would you think of being head admin? new salary $1500/mo
me: oh wow...

There are more conversations, but my goal here is to reach the remaining admins. Tippy and Singing Lass, you are being used.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My First Video Blog

This is my first of hopefully many podcasts. It is not necessarily the way I wished to begin, however I feel that my message is vital for the health and wellbeing of those who are still unsure of the Kimkins program.

I wanted to address my friends still within that program. I want you to know my heart. I have nothing but love for you all. I am so saddened that it has all come to this... Please heed my warning. God has so much more for you... He wants you to live a healthy, happy and long life. He has given us this body as a temple, and it is up to us to respect it, and treat it right. Not deprive it of valuable and necessary things that He has put on this earth for our nurishment and enjoyment.

God bless my friends and I look forward to sharing even more with you.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Is it Economics or Ethics?

I know that I should never question or doubt God's timing when He brings His children together for one purpose. In light of the current situation with Kimkins and Heidi Diaz, I have spent much time in prayer, seeking guidance, peace and clarification in everything that I say and do. This morning was yet another confirmation that I am right in the middle of where I am supposed to be. Today's service was especially relevant and I wanted to share it with you as it is amazingly applicable during this time.

I begin today's post by relaying a story that my pastor shared this morning from the Word in Daniel 3. (Using The Message version for readability)

"King Nebuchadnezzar built a gold statue, ninety feet high and nine feet thick. He set it up on the Dura plain in the province of Babylon. He then ordered all the important leaders in the province, everybody who was anybody, to the dedication ceremony of the statue. They all came for the dedication, all the important people, and took their places before the statue that Nebuchadnezzar had erected.

A herald then proclaimed in a loud voice: "Attention, everyone! Every race, color, and creed, listen! When you hear the band strike up—all the trumpets and trombones, the tubas and baritones, the drums and cymbals—fall to your knees and worship the gold statue that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. Anyone who does not kneel and worship shall be thrown immediately into a roaring furnace."

The band started to play, a huge band equipped with all the musical instruments of Babylon, and everyone—every race, color, and creed—fell to their knees and worshiped the gold statue that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

Just then, some Babylonian fortunetellers stepped up and accused the Jews. They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "Long live the king! You gave strict orders, O king, that when the big band started playing, everyone had to fall to their knees and worship the gold statue, and whoever did not go to their knees and worship it had to be pitched into a roaring furnace. Well, there are some Jews here—Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego—whom you have placed in high positions in the province of Babylon. These men are ignoring you, O king. They don't respect your gods and they won't worship the gold statue you set up."

Furious, King Nebuchadnezzar ordered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be brought in. When the men were brought in, Nebuchadnezzar asked, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you don't respect my gods and refuse to worship the gold statue that I have set up? I'm giving you a second chance—but from now on, when the big band strikes up you must go to your knees and worship the statue I have made. If you don't worship it, you will be pitched into a roaring furnace, no questions asked. Who is the god who can rescue you from my power?"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn't, it wouldn't make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn't serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up."

Nebuchadnezzar, his face purple with anger, cut off Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He ordered the furnace fired up seven times hotter than usual. He ordered some strong men from the army to tie them up, hands and feet, and throw them into the roaring furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, bound hand and foot, fully dressed from head to toe, were pitched into the roaring fire...

Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm and said, "Didn't we throw three men, bound hand and foot, into the fire?"

"That's right, O king," they said.

"But look!" he said. "I see four men, walking around freely in the fire, completely unharmed! And the fourth man looks like a son of the gods!"

Nebuchadnezzar went to the door of the roaring furnace and called in, "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the High God, come out here!"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walked out of the fire.

All the important people, the government leaders and king's counselors, gathered around to examine them and discovered that the fire hadn't so much as touched the three men—not a hair singed, not a scorch mark on their clothes, not even the smell of fire on them!

Nebuchadnezzar said, "Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego! He sent his angel and rescued his servants who trusted in him! They ignored the king's orders and laid their bodies on the line rather than serve or worship any god but their own."

So the question today is: What happens when the cost of doing business IS my ethics?

I wrote not long ago about specific questions that I had regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer/Heidi Diaz. In my request, I emphasised that my desire and goal in that correspondence was to be able to promote the company which I worked for, with integrity and a clear conscience. But, the heart of the issue clearly and quickly became a very personal question. I had to determine for myself what would happen if I would have to give up my values to keep my job. This is a fundamental question, that really encompasses every aspect of my life. My pastor said: "Ethics are like water, they seep out in every area of our lives." When we begin to compromise and rationalize our ethical standpoints, it becomes easier and easier to make little compromises in other areas of our lives.

When faced with a "sticky" situation, it can be very easy to rationalize our behavior. Our rationalizations can entail 3 trains of thought. Sometimes one, or a combination of all three influence our decision making:

1) My economic standing: If I stand for what I believe in, how will I pay for my expenses? This truly hit home to me. I am a stay at home mom. I would be lying if I said I didn't worry sometimes about where the money is going to come from to buy groceries or pay the electric bill. I realize now that this was a baiting tool that was used against me. It was VERY difficult to walk away from my position with Kimkins because I had no idea what would happen financially. I was constantly reminded of my dependence on Heidi and my "need" by subtle comments such as "you're worth much more," "you're making more than 'person'" and "I'm giving this out of my pocket."

2) The EGO of my position: Do I continue to play the game, just to keep my position? I was the cover-girl. Kimmer's "right hand girl." THOUSANDS of people have seen my face and are counting on me to help guide them. Flattery is a trap, a snare to entangle those who are unaware and easily distracted. There is a distinct difference in my mind between a complement and flattery. Complements are sincere and genuine. They are meant to edify and encourage. Flattery is sticky sweet. It drips with ulterior motives. There was definitely an abundance of flattery being flung around.

3) My Efforts Sacrificed: I could not go backwards. I spent HOURS and HOURS on the forums, helping, offering assistance, encouraging, not to mention time spent on multiple other projects and responsibilities that I spearheaded and began; media contacts, kimmerwear, recipe contest, advertising, recipe box organization, maintenance program, public relations duties.

But, are those things worth the sacrifice that I would be making for my own conscience. What would I be giving up by continuing to represent a company and person whose moral and ethical practices are shady at best? In Heidi's own words:

"I don't see that there's a future for you with Kimkins unless you can come up with something that wouldn't jeopardize your integrity."

"Again, if anyone isn't willing to take a bullet for Kimkins (and why on earth should you), no problem at all."

What is my reality?

If I had made the choice to stay with Kimkins what would I lose?

1) Loss of my moral authority. How do I trust God if I take matters into my own hands? How can I encourage others to trust Him?

2) Loss of my self-respect. To take the "easy road" would be cowardly, a cop-out. When I began this blog, I titled it "The Journey" with the intention of taking "the road less traveled." I can not live in fear of what may happen by making the difficult decision to stand against the King.

3) Loss of seeing God show up in powerful ways. Taking shortcuts disallows God's power. The greatest stories are those in which His power shows up in miraculous ways. How many stories would go untold because of my short-cuts?

In the story, King Nebuchadnezzar required self-worship as a symbol of his subjects loyalty to him. You may say - well.... I will bow to the idol on the outside and follow what is right just in my mind. The idea being... I can do more good on the inside than the outside. But how many people will see you for what you are? No one else can see your mind. To them, you are still bowing to the idol.

The King said - If you do not do what I say, you will be thrown in the fire... I'm the king, I can do whatever I want to do."

Do you believe that "your king" is in control of your life though? Do you trust more in your economic or social standing than in God?

I do not. I know that I serve a God who is able; a God who will deliver me from the fire. I chose to stand for what is right. I refuse to bow to the idol and compromise my integrity for the easy road and to save myself from "death."

My favorite part of this story and analogy is this: I stood for what I believed in with my 2 friends... my Meshach and Abednego... Becky and Deni. We are in the fire. We are standing for honesty and integrity. But we are not alone. We have a 4th guardian. Thank you Lord Jesus for standing with us. Praise God that I have confidence and a surety that we will not only come through this fire unscathed, but He will use us in ways that we have not yet even begun to imagine.

This post is my application and summary of a sermon presented this morning by Pastor Tim Hawks of Hill Country Bible Church. You can hear the complete message HERE.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Where do we go from here? ~ The Excellence of Love

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and know all the mysteries and all knowledge;
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but do not have love,

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but do not have love,
it profits me nothing.

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
it is not jealous;
Love does not brag,
it is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with THE TRUTH;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love NEVER fails;
but if there are gifts of prophecy,
they will be done away;
if there are tongues,
they will cease;
if there is knowledge,
it will be done away.

For we know in part,
and we prophesy in part;
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will be done away.

When I was a child, I used to speak as a child,
think as a child,
reason as a child;

When I became a man, I did away with childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face;
now I know in part,
but then I will know fully
just as I also have been fully known.

But now abide Faith, Hope, and LOVE, these three;
But the greatest of these is


1 Corinthians 13 (NAS Version)

Is there life after Kimkins? I want to encourage you all. YES. There is. I know for many of you, you believe that Kimkins is the only thing that ever worked for you, but you also can see the health risks and dangers that are prominent with the very low calorie aspects of this program. You know that your body needs more than that, but you are lost and don't know where to turn.

I understand... but know that there is a beacon in the night, a light shinging through the fog. That light is actually what made Kimkins so successful for you in the first place. It is friends and family. Friends that supported you and encouraged you. An online family where you could share your ups and downs, ins and outs, struggles and triumphs. Those people are still out there. They still love you. I still love you. Many have found new homes at various low carb forums around the web. I have too. I will share my resting place with you shortly.

I wanted to encourage you with some tips and places to begin your transition if you have begun it, and hope for those who have not yet. Some of you may experience a slight stall by changing the way you are eating, others may notice a break in a stall. Remember that we are all different, and that is what makes us so special. There is no "cookie cutter" program out there that works for everyone. We must make adjustments according to what our bodies needs are at the time. There are so many good low carb books and plans out there; Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution, Protein Power, The Zone, The Thin Commandments and many many more. I ask that you bear with me as I too learn how to live this low carb life in a healthful way too. But I will always pass along to you the things that I am learning.

Tip 1) Begin by upping your calories by using more protein and added HEALTHY fats (good oils such as olive, avacado, coconut, etc.; healthy nuts such as almonds or walnuts; olives; avacados, dairy, etc.). Everone will have an optimum calorie range that is good for their bodies and will still allow for weight loss. 500 calories is not it. Try for at least 1100-1200. I know this will be hard at first, but your body will thank you in the end.

Tip 2) DO NOT BE AFRAID OF VEGGIES. This was one of my clues that I had changed from a healthy thinking within Kimkins to a more eating dissordered way of thinking. I became AFRAID to add in veggies because I worried that it would slow my loss. We did not get fat from vegetables. Their nutritional value is worth so much more than losing an extra ounce because you did not eat a salad. Remember the 20 carb limit in KK? What if you kept to that thought, but this time use net carbs in veggies. The fiber contained within them and vitamins and minerals are so good for you. God created them to nourish your body. This is why most LC programs have a list that you can eat an UNLIMITED amount from, and another list that is limited... there are veggies that are higher starch/carb than others that you may wish to limit (like winter squashes, pumpkin, carrots, etc...). But these things do contain wonderful vitamins and minerals that your body does need. Just remember what you have learned. 1 serving = 1/2 cup of cooked veggies. Watch the higher carb ones and stick to your serving sizes. Enjoy ENJOY ENJOY the lower carb "free" veggies!

Tip 3) Get moving! I know that many people do not like to excercise. But I think you will find that you will feel so much better even getting out and taking a 30 minute walk. Fall is quickly approaching on us and this is the perfect time to start getting out. Breathe the fresh air, and think about what a better life you are making for yourself and your loved ones with your new way of eating.

In my previous journal I began a book review on The Thin Commandments by Dr Stephen Gullo. I intend to continue that review here on this blog as I believe it to be a truly inspiring peice that sheds light on some of the most essential psychological issues that we all must face if we are to keep the weight off permanently.

I continue now in my forward motion and I am so priviledged to be able to share this road with you.

(PSST... wanna know where my new home is??? Come check it out over at Low Carb Discussion. Special thanks goes to Jimmy Moore for setting up this new home for us. So many good people there. Many friends you will most likely recognize. Send me a PM or post to one of the threads that I regular and I look forward to seeing you there!)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Maintaining the Status Quo

My dear friend Deni said that once she saw the Kimkins program as a speeding train. She was warned not to remain on that train and instead sit on her bench at the train station and wait for travelers to come off of the train. I too sit on that bench… and every now and then we journey down my road, stopping for a while to rest with our friend Becky at her tent… But then, I come back to the train and I am saddened at worried. I look through the windows and I see friends. Many of whom I did invite aboard with me. They are my friends, my allies, my confidants, my support system. But what true friend would I be if I allowed them to continue without warning them of the impending danger that is to come? The more I read and research the more I realize the grave danger I put myself in, and others in, through my use of the Kimkins diet program.

It breaks my heart that these people who used to be my friends have now labeled me as an outsider; a “hater.” I did not get my research and proof of what I found from “anti” blogs or forums contrary to what has been reported to you. Doesn’t it seem odd that “my friend,” the founder of that program would not provide me with the medical proof that I asked for? And I asked not only as a concerned friend, but as the Public Relations representative in order that I might represent what I believed in whole heartedly. But I was given nothing to stand on. No concrete to plant my feet on, as I desperately sought a way to defend my decisions and they way I had led my life for almost a year. Instead, I was left floundering in assumptions of my greatest fears, later confirmed by my own studies. I understand. I was just as disillusioned as you are trying not to be… maybe even more so. I was on the cover of a magazine telling the world of a program which I had assumed to be safe!

My friends I implore you, you have heard my heart. You have read my words. I, of all people, would be the first to jump up and shout to the rooftops if I could prove Kimkins to be safe for general dietary use! This is what I asked Kimmer for. I wanted to promote Kimkins with integrity and honesty. I wanted to be able to show without a doubt that it was a good program. But, try as I might, I could not.

I am a real person. I’ve met some of you, others I’ve spoken with over the phone. You’ve seen pictures of me through my journey, of my friends and family members with me. Please trust your heart. I am your friend, the one you looked up to. If you joined Kimkins because you saw my face and trusted me when I proclaimed that you too can lose weight, trust me again. You CAN lose weight; AND you can do it healthfully. Do not be pulled into the “comfort” of the train ride or a fear to go against the status quo… that train is headed for a ravine and the bridge is out my friends.

I want to leave you with this old story about a king. This king‘s life was saved and he didn’t even know it till it was too late.

A King and His Hawk

One morning when he was home from the wars, he rode out into the woods to have a day's sport. Many of his friends were with him. They rode out gayly, carrying their bows and arrows. Behind them came the servants with the hounds.

It was a merry hunting party. The woods rang with their shouts and laughter. They expected to carry much game home in the evening.

On the king's wrist sat his favorite hawk, for in those days hawks were trained to hunt. At a word from their masters they would fly high up into the air, and look around for prey. If they chanced to see a deer or rabbit, they would swoop down upon it swift as any arrow.

Towards evening they started for home. The king had often ridden through the woods, and he knew all the paths. So while the rest of the party took the nearest way, he went by the longer road through a valley between two mountains.

The day had been warm, and the king was very thirsty. His pet hawk had left his wrist a flown away. It would be sure to find its way home.

The king rode slowly along. He had once seen a spring of clear water near this path. If he could only find it now! But the hot days of summer had dried up all the mountain brooks.

At last, to his joy, he saw some water trickling down over the edge of a rock. He know that there was a spring farther up. In the wet season, a swift stream of water always poured down here; but now it came only one drop at a time.

The king leaped from his horse. He took a little silver cup from his hunting bag. He held it so as to catch the slowly falling drops.

It took a long time to fill the cup; and the king was so thirsty that he could hardly wait. At last it was nearly full. He put the cup to his lips, and was about to drink.

All at once there was a whirling sound in the air, and the cup was knocked from his hands. The water was all spilled upon the ground.

The king looked up to see who had done this thing. It was his pet hawk.
The hawk flew back and forth a few times, and then alighted among the rocks by the spring. The king picked up the cup, and again he held it to catch the trickling drops.

This time he did not wait so long. When the cup was half full, he lifted it towards his mouth. But before it had touched his lips, the hawk swooped down again, and knocked it from his hands.

And now the king began to grow angry. He tried again, and for the third time the hawk kept him from drinking.

The king was now very angry indeed. "How do you dare to act so?" he cried. "If I had you in my hands, I would wring your neck!" Then he filled the cup again. But before he tried to drink, he drew his sword.

"Now, Sir Hawk," he said, "this is the last time."

He had hardly spoken before the hawk swooped down and knocked the cup from his hand. But the king was looking for this. With a quick sweep of the sword he struck the bird as it passed.

The next moment the poor hawk lay bleeding and dying at its master's feet.
"That is what you get for your pains," said the king.
But when he looked up for his cup, he found that it had fallen between two rocks where he could not reach it.

"At any rate, I will have a drink from that spring," he said to himself.
With that he began to climb the steep bank to the place from which the water had trickled. It was hard work, and the higher he climbed, the thirstier he became.

At last he reached the place. There indeed was a pool of water; but what was that lying in the pool, and almost filling it? It was a huge, dead snake of the most poisonous kind.

The king stopped. He forgot his thirst. He thought only of the poor dead bird lying on the ground below him.

"The hawk saved my life!" he cried, "and how did I repay him? He was my best friend and I have killed him."

He clambered down the bank. He took the bird up gently, and laid it in his hunting bag. Then he mounted his horse and rode swiftly home.

I am swooping down again to knock down your cup… but will you put away your sword?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Peace and calm in the Storm

I am amazed at the things that God brings us when we need them most. This morning I looked at one of the most quoted and yet most comforting Psalms. Let Psalm 23 give you peace.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
for HIS names sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear NO EVIL.
For YOU are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

If you are struggling no matter where you are. Find peace. God said that He has not given us a Spirit of Fear. Where there is confusion and turmoil, there is no peace. Where there are lies and deception there is no peace. It is only within the truth that we find that calm an peace. I want my friends to hear me. Those of you still behind the wall and those who have left, know that God gives incredible peace and comfort to those who seek Him. Look to Him for your answers.

I also want to say this. Remember that the enemy masquerades as an angel of light. He is deceptively beautiful. He lays a trap with flattery and sweet words. But remember that the Truth does not lead to confusion. Seek the truth and you will find peace.

While I still may have more to say in the future regarding my involvement with Kimkins; it is time for me to continue my journey. I will not be held captive, I will move on and grow.

This is my husband, Brian, and I at his best friends wedding last week.

It has been 6 months now. 6 months since I called goal. And yes... I am still maintaining. :) My weight has only fluctuated a little here and there which is normal but I am steady which is such a relief to me.

I do want to address a concern that many have had in reviewing my maintenance journals that were out there for a while. I removed them not because I had something to hide, but because it was confusing many. I know there were days and times that it looked like I would starve myself again but this really is not the case. I am one of the world's WORST journalers. I will admit that while on KK I did not eat much. Many times very little and dangerous low. This is why it took much longer for me to get comfortable with my maintenance routine. I had to increase my calories VERY slowly kind of in a healing process for my body. But I am not binge and crash dieting like I have heard speculating in some circles. I am consistently eating around 1400-1600 calories a day now which I am very comfortable with. My carbs are usually around 80 or so. Most of them come from fruit, the occasional natural Peanut Butter or almonds ;) and some various whole grain/brown foods. I eat a LOT more dairy now (love cheese!)and my DH jokes w/ me and my kids that I'm going to turn into a salad one day. I exercise (running again!) and feel wonderful.

Learning to eat a low carb maintenance took time... but I determined when I started that I WOULD NOT PANIC if I saw the scale rising. It's just time to re-adjust my strategy... I'll back off on the carbs a little (specifically on the grains)and step up the exercise and water a bit. This strategy has seemed to work very well for me so far. With the holidays coming we shall see, but I'm so confident in my new life now that I know God will give me the strength to know exactly how much is enough and when to say stop. And that my friends... is amazing.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

An Olive Branch...or ??? My Public Response To Kimmer's Offer

I received an interesting email last night from Kimmer. In it was an apology for acting in haste and banning me from the Kimkins website, along with an offer to re-instate my access. I wanted to make my response to her public so that there would be no confusion as to my intentions.


Thank you so much for your kind gesture. Kimkins has been my online home now for almost a year (October 2 was my join date). I have many many friends there that I care about deeply and would love to contact. However, my questions still remain unanswered. I know many good people who asked the same questions I did and were also banned.

Until my questions are answered honestly and completely, and unless those friends are shown the same gesture, I am afraid I cannot accept. Like I have said before, this is indeed a sad situation, and I do not know what the future holds for any of us, but whatever happens, I only pray that the TRUTH will set all of us free.


Monday, September 10, 2007

Questions and confusion

This post has taken me a while to come to. I feel though in order to confirm and support the things that my friends and I have all been witness to, I must. I have received many many questions from friends and those who are seeking wondering if I feel that they should continue with the Kimkins program or if they are safe in pursuing that lifestyle. I want to re-iterate, I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. I have only shared from my own experience and research. This entire situation has begun me thinking, however, that perhaps a certification in nutrition would be prudent for me to obtain so that I can continue on this journey with a bit more knowledge and expertise. With that said though, I want to share with all of you my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program simply based on my own experience and research thus far. I know there are and will be more, as I feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.

1)The Kimkins stand regarding laxatives is: “One full dose the first day, and then a reduced 25%-50% dose every day afterwards to maintain regularity.” All studies that I have found indicate that while continued dosing of a mild laxative is not necessarily addicting to some, it can be very detrimental to others causing the large intestine to become dependent on the herbs or laxative in order to contract and function properly. I asked to be pointed to the research and medical documentation that demonstrated otherwise. This would be separate from those who have been prescribed laxatives by their doctors for other reasons, but for the general public.

***On the laxative note. This is predominately necessary in the Kimmer Experiment portion of the program (Stillman’s). However, Dr Stillman’s notes say to increase vitamin C as a first option and Milk of Magnesia as a second, but not on a regular basis. See note on water below***

2)After researching the Atkins 72 and Stillman’s Quick Weight Loss Method plans, which are openly sited as being the basis for Kimkins, I saw a few staunch differences which I wanted to clarify. The claim is, that this program is safe because it was based on both of those plans written by doctors. However, it also contains Kimmer’s “tweaks.”

a.Fat is cut because of the calories. I wondered though about the dairy. All the foods listed within the program do contain many of the vitamin and mineral’s our bodies needs. However, the majority of Kimkins members are not eating enough of any of these things to obtain the amount of minerals especially that they need. I was concerned that the things that have been cut because of the fear of fat could be detrimental in the long run. Like I described in a previous post, Dr Atkins said “be shockingly un-afraid of fat” which I can see not being good on one hand… but it would be just as much of an opposite extreme to “be shockingly AFRAID of fat.”

b.Both programs push fluid intake. Stillman’s says 8 glasses of water a day and Atkin’s says as much water as thirst requires. Kimmer does not like to drink water, I don’t prefer it either, but I did try to get at least 40-60oz of water plus whatever calorie free beverage I chose during my journey and even now. The reason that Stillman required water on his program because he knew the strain that a high protein diet would have on the kidneys and therefore demanded the water to keep them flushed. Dr Atkins 72 plan encouraged the use of liquids but it was not required due to the higher veggie content, but even at that higher carb veggies (such as pumpkin and fruit like rhubarb) and good fats (avocado) were added to his program in the second week. The benefits of increased clear fluid intake are shown over and over, including assistance with regularity, so why is it not encouraged more?

c. I did see in one area where the Stillman’s program also gave this disclaimer: “This is a severe form of ketogenic diet. It is not easily sustainable for the long term. It may be useful in breaking plateaus and in those too impatient to allow their bodies to take the fat off gradually at its own pace.” But it does not say (at least where I could find it) that it can be done indefinitely w/o some risks.

d. My concern regarding both is this. Kimkins is a modified version of both of these diets combined, removing some things and adding others. The reasoning behind why Kimkins is so safe is because it was essentially “created” by 2 doctors so it is still “doctor approved.” BUT, Just as Kimmer says don’t modify Kimkins otherwise it’s not the same program. The same go for these two programs as well. So in essence, by modifying Atkins 72 and Stillman’s to be Kimkins you really no longer have a “Doctor approved” program because you have removed the things that they viewed as essential for their diet.

e. Kimmer claimed to me to have written a bariatric clinic to obtain a Doctor’s approval and review of the program. I requested a copy of the letters she had written.

3)I did lose on this program and seemingly have “thrived” in my results, aside from the side effects I experienced which I have already addressed. I am concerned that this is not as much of a “cookie cutter” program as Kimmer and others would like to believe. I am young, moderately good health before I began, and quite resilient. My body can hopefully take things ok with “minimal” side effects (not discounting however, that my calories were too low and I would much rather people follow their dietary program safely and not enter the danger zone that I did). However, my structure and nutritional needs are very different than someone who is 60, 70, or 13. I am in the prime of my life, and so eating this restricted, while maybe not the healthiest thing for our bodies, I reasoned that it’s better than obesity. I do have many concerns now though. Especially the older and younger members have some very different needs and promising that “you will lose no matter what” may be true to an extent, I cannot any longer condone recommending to anyone to cut out some things that they specifically may need for their bodies. At that point, it’s NOT just a matter of calories and math… you do have to take into consideration the vital nutrients and how much of each thing on this program they would have to consume to get those nutrients.

4)It was a well known fact that Kimmer had been accused of soliciting to teens. At first, I did not believe this accusation, and when Jimmy asked her about this directly she stated that she would never recommend this program for teens. I have always stated that too, as has my friend Deni. When we had our initial “Controversy” email session that was disclosed by Becky between Kimmer and moderators, it was brought up that a 13 year old had been in the chat room. Kimmer stated, “A 13 year old in chat? No way! Not OK ever. Please all/any of you let me know so I can talk to the account holder and tell them "nicely" about no kids and probably refund/cancel.” I needed to know then, why when one member out openly displaying her age as 14, and Deni and I were both trying to push her to talk to her mom and doctor, and reconsider what she was eating, did Kimmer come in and not only encourage her that her low cals were ok, but did not back us up in the need to talk to her doctor and mother? I did not understand why it suddenly was not important “whether you are 14 or 84” to have different diets. Nutritional needs at both those ages are very different, and it’s not just a matter of extra fat calories hanging on. Why was this teen not encouraged as well that this was not the place for her and “nicely” asked to leave?

5)I now had several questions regarding confusion surrounding Kimmer’s identity. Kimmer has told me things about herself at various times that are confusing and conflicting.

a.She speaks quite often about her sister and her use of Kimkins. She also told me that the picture in the red dress is in fact her. However, she also told me that not even her sister knows that she is Kimmer. How can this be? Would’t she see her picture on the site and put two and two together?

b. When I have called various times to speak with Kimmer, I have spoken with several other members of her household. One claimed to be her sister and another Brandon, and also one other unknown male. Each time, I have asked for “Heidi” and they have given the phone to her or told me she was not available. Months ago, Kimmer told me in one of our discussions “If you call me Heidi I might not know who you’re talking to,” insinuating that she is NOT Heidi. But, in that same conversation she also told me that calling her “Heidi” would keep her grounded and help remind her of where she came from. She reminisced to me also about when she was class mom for her boys and they called her “Ms Heidi.” However, she is now claiming that is not her name. I have a problem with this.

c. Kimmer speaks freely about Brandon and her involvement with him. However, the only reference ever throughout any business dealings and in records is for “Brandon Diaz.” If she is not Heidi Diaz, did he legally change his last name to coordinate with the name that she is operating under?

d. According to public records, “Heidi Diaz” birthday is in May. On that date, “her birthday,” this year, we made a fairly big “to do” about it being her birthday within the forum in which she accepted congratulations and spoke of how much she enjoyed celebrating her birthday. Was this not accurate? Did we have a “ghost” birthday celebration?

e. Kimmer has repeatedly allowed me to continue call and represent her as “Heidi.” I unknowingly participated in a deception that I am not comfortable with. And once again, I feel I owe my readers and friends an apology for this as well.

f. MULTIPLE times Kimmer informed me that she is the only one who handles the money. She doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. This is confusing to me if she is not Heidi, as the instructions for sending a check/money order state to make them out to “Heidi Diaz / Kimkins.”

6)I was concerned lastly regarding the future of Kimkins if Kimmer continued to conceal her identity. Kimmer has stated over and over that she is a very private person and does not want any recognition. However, I also know that as this program continues to grow, the question of “Who Is Kimmer” will not only exponentially get louder, but it will become more and more difficult for her to remain a hidden person without people writing the program off as a farce and a joke at best and an internet scam and criminal fraud at worst. If there is to be credibility behind the program then people need to know the credibility behind the founder. I believe that it is time for Kimmer to come out of hiding.

These are just some of my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer. After asking these questions as it pertained to my job as the Public Relations director for the Kimkins program, instead of forthrightly answering my questions, Kimmer’s immediate response (within 30 minutes) was to terminate my position as the PR director and offer a smaller position as head moderator which I refused. I explained to her that if I would not be allowed to ask questions for my job, and operate with integrity and a clear conscience, then I would not be able to participate within Kimkins as it was and asked to be removed as a moderator. Within the next few minutes I was banned from

I hope that by posting this that the facts may be taken for what they are, and I wish very much that Kimmer would simply come forward and answer me honestly. It hurt me terribly to have to do what I did. I cannot begin to express how much the support and encouragement that I received this last week has meant to me. I want to end with a passage from the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 4 vs 5.

Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.

I feel now that the Lord is bringing much to light that I had been blind to previously. I only pray that throughout this entire situation God will allow only the truth to prevail and that all other "things" fall to the wayside.