For Grammy

I was only 6 years old, but I remember visiting my grandmother in the hospital during her first stint with the deadly disease of breast cancer. I was too little to know anything other than my Grammy was sick. She was only 53 years old. After a double mastectomy and months of chemotherapy, things seemed to be looking up. The cancer went into remission and we believed that she had beaten the disease.

In 1999, our family was to receive another blow when we received word that my mother, then only 42, had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My brothers, sisters and I gathered around my parents and wept as my father shaved my mother’s head as she began dealing with the effects of the chemotherapy. She too underwent a double mastectomy and we began the healing process. Breast cancer awareness and prevention became forefront in our lives.

In 2001 my grandmother’s cancer returned my sister ran in the Komen Foundation Race for the Cure. This began an annual event for my family attending as she ran. Every year, I sat on the sidelines and watched with pride; however, I was always too overweight to participate. Grammy’s cancer has never gone fully into remission. Since then, she has battled the disease culminating with this year growths have spread to her spine and recurred again in the scar tissue from her mastectomy in this her 6th occurrence.

It was a sudden realization that fat FEEDS cancer and seeing my sister cross that finish line in the fall of 2006 that began my weight loss journey. And so, after losing the weight, last year, in honor of Grammy, for the first time, my brothers, sisters and I (with the exception of 1 brother who was out of state) and my wonderful mother, ran TOGETHER in the Race For The Cure.

My weight loss journey began with a desire to lose to help make my body healthier to attempt to stave off this dangerous disease. I am the oldest of 6 children. I have 2 sisters. Statistically speaking, research shows that one of us girls will contract this disease. The odds for women who have a maternal history of breast cancer in their families are 2:1, or one out of three. Therefore, it has become increasingly important to us to not only find a cure, but to do all we can to learn how to prevent cancer.

I have discovered through my research that even in my weight loss journey, I was not eating preventatively. Losing fat is not enough, and unfortunately, the malnutrition that I suffered utilizing the Kimkins program did not help either. A healthy cancer prevention diet is actually not surprisingly a fairly popular Low Carb/Low Glycemic Index diet. The Mediterranean Diet is one of the highest recommended diets for breast cancer prevention. This diet is very low carb friendly too, emphasizing healthy Omega 3 Essential Fatty Acids, fresh low GI antioxidant filled fruits and veggies, and healthy proteins.

Over the next few weeks I will be highlighting various healthy low carb aspects of this dietary approach as I learn about them and their benefit towards thwarting the deadly disease of breast cancer.

Grammy currently is not well. While it hurts me immensely to see her in such pain, it also gives me new resolve to do whatever is in my power to educate others in a healthy lifestyle. A lifestyle that will not only assist them in achieving their weight loss goals, but also provides the nutrients and health benefits that can help extend their lives in other areas as well.

Grammy… I love you.

WE WILL FIND A CURE.

The Best Laid Plans

“My son, if sinners entice you, DO NOT CONSENT… If they say, ‘Let us ambush the innocent without cause…. We shall find all kinds of precious wealth, we shall fill our houses with spoil; Throw in your lot with us, we shall all have one purse’…. My son, DO NOT WALK IN THE WAY WITH THEM. Keep your feet from their path…. For their feet run to evil… They ambush their own lives.”

Proverbs 1:8-18 (paraphrased)

Thousands of years ago Solomon gave this advice to his son as one of his first instructions. It is amazing that this advice still holds true millennia later.

Thanks to the combined effort of some incredible super-sleuths, the identity of a certain poster who has been as staunch defender of Heidi has been accurately identified. I was admittedly surprised when I was approached with this theory. However, as was revealed through more investigation and finally IP identification, this person has misjudged that TRUTH can really set you free from the trap that you set for yourself by taking up with those who ambush the innocent.


Gary Fontaine, Kimkins admin, has been secretly flaming in some of his most recent pro-Kimkins antics. From posting on AmyB’s blog with criticism and harsh verbal taunts of her son and his medical issues, to his latest, and possibly most anonymous, stunt. Up until this last week, it was assumed based on what circumstantial evidence was gathered, that the poster within the Facination With Kimmer threads on LCF known only as “Crispybread,” was Heidi. This same poster linked to several outside blogs which commonly poked fun at, slandered, and even psychologically threatened members of the lawsuit against Kimkins, and those who had been vocal in their stance against Heidi Diaz’ deceptions. However, it is now CONFIRMED, that the true identity of Crispybread, is in fact, Gary Fontaine.

Gary, I can only hope that you have seriously thought through your participation and cooperation with Heidi in the intimidation and slander of key witnesses in the Kimkins lawsuit. There is no recanting what has already been said. Yes… it is too late to take that back.

HUGE special thanks to all who helped in bringing this truth to light: TheTRUTH, Prudentia, Becky, and Tom for confirming the IP locations. Thank you all for demonstrating what can happen when we come together as a team in a combined effort. YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

Gratitude.... and Overcoming.

January 1, 2008. A day that will haunt my memory probably till the end of my life. I wanted to take a few moments now to share with you my recollection of what happened and of the week and events that happened after the accident, and give everyone an update on our status as we stand now almost 5 months later.

We were headed home from spending Christmas with our families. The back end of our car was cramped with gifts. We had a foam "sofa bed" wedged in between the kids car seats in the back of the car. It was about 8:00PM and I was very tired and worn out from the previous week's excitement. I checked to make sure my husband, who was driving, was OK, and then decided to doze off as we still had a little over an hour left in our drive home. I placed my feet on the dash of the car and proceeded to fall asleep.

I woke with a jolt to realize that we had gone off the side of the road and were barrelling down the grassy shoulder. I saw a road-sign quickly approaching and yelled what I can only imagine to be the equivalent of "Watch Out!" The car tilted and fishtailed and I saw headlights in my window... then darkness.

What followed is only as clear to me as a bad dream. Voices... Seeing my brother-in-law at the foot of my bed... pain... bright lights...

The first few days after the accident I was in and out of consciousness. I awoke in the hospital after being Life-Flighted there with my family and I am told that my first questions were about the safety of my children and my husband. I do not remember much about this time, but I do remember flashes and pieces. I remember waking and seeing blood and lacerations on my hand. My eye hurt, I remember putting my hand up to it and feeling the stitches. I scratched my head and felt the dried blood and bits of glass. My mother was there, and my sister. They were taking care of me. The first 2 mental evaluations were not good. There was concern I might have brain damage. But... after 3 days... it all started coming back.

I was sent home on the fourth day with instructions that I had a severe head injury and must take it easy. Once home, I was disoriented and in pain. I just wanted to sleep. I went to bed however the next morning I woke up horrifically nauseated and my head hurt terribly. My family made the decision to take me back to the hospital where it was discovered that my brain was still swollen and had been bleeding. I spent 3 more days in the hospital.

During that visit, I was overwhelmed with love and kindness. My family and my in-law family went above and beyond taking care of us. For some reason I was not worried about the presents and possessions we had lost. I knew God would take care of us. I was only grateful that my children had come away COMPLETELY unharmed. My husband only sustained a minor concussion. As I know most other mothers would agree... if it is a matter of me sustaining the injury and my children being unharmed.. then I am blessed.

It was during this stay and after I was finally released to come home that I learned of the incredible kindness and generosity of my online family as well. My friend and fellow low-carber Jimmy Moore rallied and set up a gift fund for my family. I wanted to take a moment here and express my most sincere and heartfelt thanks to all who contributed to that. I do not know who all of you are, but I want you to know that your gift was so appreciated. Hospitals can be pretty demanding about handing them a nice sum even before you are discharged, so please accept my humblest THANK YOU, for helping us during that time. God used you to touch not only my life, but that of my children, husband, extended family, and even my community. I pray that you will be vastly and exponentially rewarded for your generosity and compassion.

A month after the accident, I felt well enough that I thought I might be able to begin to resume life as "normal." I went back to work at my evening job waiting tables at a local restaurant. After my first day on my feet, I realized that all might not be as well as I had hoped. I went back to my doctor to confirm my fears. Because my legs had been on the dashboard when the airbags went off, my ACL tendon in my left knee was torn again. I also found out that I was going to have to have another surgery on my eye that had been cut as well... so I was facing two more surgeries.

I have always been one to try to see the positive in a situation or what I can learn from it. Many would say that I was foolish for having my legs on the dash. Not that I would recommend that way of travel.... but in this particular case, had they been on the floorboard, they would have been crushed. I can count my blessings now that a torn ACL is the extent of that injury and I will walk and even run again versus what the consequences could have been if my legs were crushed.

I had the surgery on my eye about 6 weeks ago, and my ACL reconstruction surgery was 5 weeks ago today. My eye (tear duct repair on the upper and lower ducts), unfortunately, was only about 50% successful. The top tear duct was beyond repair, however, the bottom duct was only clogged and they were able to correct that issue. I am still adjusting to a bit more tearing in that eye, but it is a minor issue to learn to live with. I have been in therapy 3 days a week to re-gain the use of my left leg and it is going very well. I have maybe another month of therapy and am excited that the progress is already evident.

I hope I didn't leave anything out. But, I especially wanted to say "Thank You" again with all my heart to all my dear friends who gave out of the kindness of their hearts to my family in the time following our accident. I wish that I could meet each one of you personally and thank you and give you a hug. My life has been nothing short of a cyclone over the last year, however, I am positive that I am moving forward in the highest anticipation and expectation over what God is going to be doing in the future. The generosity that was shown to me during this time affirmed to me the growing feeling that I have had that ours is a close-knit community: a virtual family. No matter what "home-group" you belong to.... Low Carb Friends, Active Low Carber, Eating Low, Livin Low Carb Discussion, Camp... we are a living thriving community who take care of each-other in a time of need and turmoil as you did for me.

God bless you all my friends and keep you safe and healthy as we learn to live this Low Carb Life together.

My Confession

It is time for me to share something with you. I am coming clean about the excruciating difficulty that I have had in maintaining my weight loss that I obtained utilizing a Very Low Calorie Diet such as Kimkins. The road has been far from an easy transition. We think when we are on the road to losing weight that once we attain our goal that life will somehow magically get easier.

There are many people within the Kimkins forums even at this time that are bypassing or ignoring the warnings of various side effects that may occur while utilizing the diet for the mere idealism that, “It’s working for me. I’m losing weight, so a side effect is a short term sacrifice.” But there is one side effect from using this program is not spoken of often and I’m afraid is one of the most mentally demoralizing that can come from achieving weight loss from the Kimkins diet program. That is the inability to maintain the weight loss. Or at the least, maintenance with an agonizing amount of effort.

I have a hobby that most people do not know about me. I am an artist… and not just any artist. I am a cake decorator. My confectionary creations are my art. They are each works of love and I put a tremendous amount of pride and effort into each one that I make.



On one occasion I was hired to provide a Barbie cake for a sweet 4 year old little girl. I worked on that piece with much joy and anticipation knowing how happy it would make that little girl. I made a mistake however, in the delivery of that cake when instead of the safer route of placing the cake on the floorboard of my car; I was in a hurry and opted to place it in the passenger seat next to me. The inevitable happened, and a car stopped quickly in front of me. In order to avoid a collision I too stepped quickly on my brakes. The force of gravity was too strong, and the cake slid off the seat and onto the floor upside down. I decided to take the easy and quick solution and ended up not only losing what I’d worked so hard for; but I also lost my profit from the cake, and disappointed a precious little girl.

The reason for my story is this. Why would we labor and put effort into something that means much more to us than a cake (our bodies and lives), if the method in which we choose to better ourselves in actuality sets us up for almost inevitable failure?

Weight loss is a very personal and difficult journey in and of itself. We work hard. We sacrifice, we get discouraged, we get excited, we laugh, we cry, we push ourselves farther than we thought we could go. But what does all that hard work profit us if it is not met with some sort of reward? As exciting and rewarding as achieving a goal weight is, it is also worthless if that goal is not maintained. The true prize in a weight loss journey is sustaining that loss and better health for the rest of our lives.

The transition from weight loss to a maintenance lifestyle should be smooth and painless. It should allow freedom and excitement in a new way of life. It should not be confusing and discouraging. One of the hardest things for me to hear is when people disregard the warnings about the dangerous side effects from the Kimkins program by rationalizing that I lost the weight and “it worked for me,” especially since I have kept the weight off for almost a year now. What most people do not know, is that it has taken me an entire year to even moderately repair the damage that my metabolism endured by losing weight the way I did. My transition into maintenance was/is EXTREMELY slow and difficult. The fear to add in any foods warred with the head knowledge that I HAD to eat something. Even now, I am still not in the position that most hope for to be able to eat “normally.”

Kimkins has NO maintenance program. The guidelines that were provided at one point in time were actually written by me, and were removed very quickly after I left the program. I am not a dietician or physician, so I have no doubt that even the guidelines that I was lead to believe were appropriate were lacking in nutritional value. Most of my friends and acquaintances who have since come off of the Kimkins program and resumed eating “normally” have either completely halted their weight loss efforts, or put back on the majority of the weight that they initially lost. Through our discussions we all agree that it would have behooved us to have lost the weight that we did utilizing a program that would not have set us up for such heartache.

So yes, it might be working for you. Yes, you may be losing weight rapidly and ignoring the other warnings. You may view me and those with me who oppose the Kimkins program as hateful because we have discouraged the only program you think will work for you. But, I must ask you to step away for a moment and glance into the future. How will you maintain your loss? Praying that you do not suffer any other side effects that many, if not most, of us have suffered; how will you sustain the joy of your new body? No one wants to have to continue a diet indefinitely. I certainly do not want to have to resort to reducing my caloric intake again such as I did with Kimkins merely to get off the holiday 10lbs. That is a miserable existence.

Think of yourself in 1, 3, or 5 years. Where do you want to be personally? I only wish the best for those of you who are still traveling the weight loss portion of your journey. I pray that you will not struggle as I have to sustain the tremendous effort that you have put in to reach your goals. As for me…. My metabolism will repair eventually. It will take time, and great care and attentiveness, but, I am confident that I will get there someday. I hope you are there sooner.

Ready for the Holidays?

As I stated in a previous post, the holidays can be very difficult for all of us when it comes to learning to eat healthy. Please join me today as I join Connie Bennet, Author of "Sugar Shock!"; Jimmy Moore of Livin La Vida Low Carb; Laura Dolson from About.com Low Carb journalism; and Judy Barnes Baker - author of "Carb Wars: Sugar Is the New Fat" cookbook; to discuss surviving the holidays living a low carb, sugar free lifestyle.

The show will air live at 3:00 EST and can be found here:

Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show

If for some reason you miss the show, you can listen afterwards HERE.

Here is the link for the promotional write up the Connie has posted on her blog: Low-Carb Experts Help You Survive Sweet Holiday Temptations on the Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show Tomorrow

My Video Blog Transcript

Jimmy Moore has been kind enough to put together a transcript of my video for those of you who are on dial-up or hearing impared and cannot watch my video. Thanks Jimmy!!

Livin' La Vida Low Carb - Kimkins 'Cover Girl' Passionately Declares Diet 'Dangerous' After Health Issues Emerge

My First Video Blog

This is my first of hopefully many podcasts. It is not necessarily the way I wished to begin, however I feel that my message is vital for the health and wellbeing of those who are still unsure of the Kimkins program.

I wanted to address my friends still within that program. I want you to know my heart. I have nothing but love for you all. I am so saddened that it has all come to this... Please heed my warning. God has so much more for you... He wants you to live a healthy, happy and long life. He has given us this body as a temple, and it is up to us to respect it, and treat it right. Not deprive it of valuable and necessary things that He has put on this earth for our nurishment and enjoyment.

God bless my friends and I look forward to sharing even more with you.

Where do we go from here? ~ The Excellence of Love

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and know all the mysteries and all knowledge;
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but do not have love,
I AM NOTHING.

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but do not have love,
it profits me nothing.

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
it is not jealous;
Love does not brag,
it is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with THE TRUTH;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love NEVER fails;
but if there are gifts of prophecy,
they will be done away;
if there are tongues,
they will cease;
if there is knowledge,
it will be done away.

For we know in part,
and we prophesy in part;
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will be done away.

When I was a child, I used to speak as a child,
think as a child,
reason as a child;

When I became a man, I did away with childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face;
now I know in part,
but then I will know fully
just as I also have been fully known.


But now abide Faith, Hope, and LOVE, these three;
But the greatest of these is

LOVE."

1 Corinthians 13 (NAS Version)

Is there life after Kimkins? I want to encourage you all. YES. There is. I know for many of you, you believe that Kimkins is the only thing that ever worked for you, but you also can see the health risks and dangers that are prominent with the very low calorie aspects of this program. You know that your body needs more than that, but you are lost and don't know where to turn.

I understand... but know that there is a beacon in the night, a light shinging through the fog. That light is actually what made Kimkins so successful for you in the first place. It is friends and family. Friends that supported you and encouraged you. An online family where you could share your ups and downs, ins and outs, struggles and triumphs. Those people are still out there. They still love you. I still love you. Many have found new homes at various low carb forums around the web. I have too. I will share my resting place with you shortly.

I wanted to encourage you with some tips and places to begin your transition if you have begun it, and hope for those who have not yet. Some of you may experience a slight stall by changing the way you are eating, others may notice a break in a stall. Remember that we are all different, and that is what makes us so special. There is no "cookie cutter" program out there that works for everyone. We must make adjustments according to what our bodies needs are at the time. There are so many good low carb books and plans out there; Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution, Protein Power, The Zone, The Thin Commandments and many many more. I ask that you bear with me as I too learn how to live this low carb life in a healthful way too. But I will always pass along to you the things that I am learning.

Tip 1) Begin by upping your calories by using more protein and added HEALTHY fats (good oils such as olive, avacado, coconut, etc.; healthy nuts such as almonds or walnuts; olives; avacados, dairy, etc.). Everone will have an optimum calorie range that is good for their bodies and will still allow for weight loss. 500 calories is not it. Try for at least 1100-1200. I know this will be hard at first, but your body will thank you in the end.

Tip 2) DO NOT BE AFRAID OF VEGGIES. This was one of my clues that I had changed from a healthy thinking within Kimkins to a more eating dissordered way of thinking. I became AFRAID to add in veggies because I worried that it would slow my loss. We did not get fat from vegetables. Their nutritional value is worth so much more than losing an extra ounce because you did not eat a salad. Remember the 20 carb limit in KK? What if you kept to that thought, but this time use net carbs in veggies. The fiber contained within them and vitamins and minerals are so good for you. God created them to nourish your body. This is why most LC programs have a list that you can eat an UNLIMITED amount from, and another list that is limited... there are veggies that are higher starch/carb than others that you may wish to limit (like winter squashes, pumpkin, carrots, etc...). But these things do contain wonderful vitamins and minerals that your body does need. Just remember what you have learned. 1 serving = 1/2 cup of cooked veggies. Watch the higher carb ones and stick to your serving sizes. Enjoy ENJOY ENJOY the lower carb "free" veggies!

Tip 3) Get moving! I know that many people do not like to excercise. But I think you will find that you will feel so much better even getting out and taking a 30 minute walk. Fall is quickly approaching on us and this is the perfect time to start getting out. Breathe the fresh air, and think about what a better life you are making for yourself and your loved ones with your new way of eating.

In my previous journal I began a book review on The Thin Commandments by Dr Stephen Gullo. I intend to continue that review here on this blog as I believe it to be a truly inspiring peice that sheds light on some of the most essential psychological issues that we all must face if we are to keep the weight off permanently.

I continue now in my forward motion and I am so priviledged to be able to share this road with you.

(PSST... wanna know where my new home is??? Come check it out over at Low Carb Discussion. Special thanks goes to Jimmy Moore for setting up this new home for us. So many good people there. Many friends you will most likely recognize. Send me a PM or post to one of the threads that I regular and I look forward to seeing you there!)