The Journey: anorexia

I have been transparent in my stance regarding the Kimkins program and Very Low Calorie eating plans.

I believe that everyone needs to find a program that will work well for them in regards to a sustainable eating and weight loss. Do I believe that Kimkins is a valid program for weight loss? No. Anyone can lose weight by restricting their calories to dangerous levels. I did. But as I have stated before… the maintenance of that loss has been extremely difficult. There are also serious medical issues that can arise from participating in such a program. I do take full responsibility for the food that I put into (or did not put into) my mouth. HOWEVER, I will also say that I was pushed and encouraged daily in the way that I was eating.

I want to make something very clear. I will not be intimidated. I will not back down from my stance against a very low calorie diet and the detriments that it can bring.

I have already begun working on a degree to bring a certification and official title to my convictions. I want to fully understand the medical and nutritional aspects behind the benefits of a low carb diet, and be able to back up my beliefs and statements. But I will NOT be intimidated into silence.

I am very grateful to those who have helped me along the way to understand the dangers of this program and who have helped me understand the fallacies even in my own way of eating.

Have I made mistakes in the past? Absolutely. I would not be human if I had not made mistakes. One of my mistakes just happens to be a lot more public than others. I, however, have peace. I know that my mistakes are forgiven. I have a Lord who forgives me and has given me forgiveness for those who have wronged me. I do not harbor any bitterness. I do however, have compassion and concern for those I feel are being wronged and harmed. I want to make sure that I take full responsibility for my wrongs or misleading; and, as long as I have a voice, I will fight for them. I will expose the dangers of falling prey to a scammer and to a very low calorie diet.

Don’t go anywhere folks… the story’s not over yet.

It has recently been suggested that people such as myself abused the Kimkins plan by cutting our calories to unhealthy levels on our own in opposition of the true intent of the plan. I am sorry to say that this is not true.

Tippy said: "I think it was well said previously that Kimkins diet has been abused by some members at their own doings who now point the finger in blame towards us." This statement is incorrect. This is the way we were instructed to follow the plan "correctly."

It saddens and sickens me to admit this about myself, but I feel that I must share in order to bring to light proof of the eating disordered behavior that I not only engaged in, but was encouraged in.

February 14, 2007 - I wrote:

"TOPIC: Kimmer, Becky, anyone!! Check my Fitday please - I need help!!!!"

I have been pretty much stalled all month. I'm under a lot of stress here at home w/ my daycare, but I don't know if that would contribute or not. I've been K/E pretty much for the most part w/ a few Kimkins days here and there. Is my body just confused by my mixing it up?? I try to drink 40-80oz of water a day on top of what is here and every now and then I do drink a diet soda, but I get the sodium free splenda sweetened ones. Please help!!!! I have got to get to goal!!!!

Here is a screen shot of my Fitday averages at this point in time:

Average Calories: 377 Fat: 11g Carbs: 8g Protein: 58g

By all indications medically and scientifically, I was in actuality, starving. I was showing very clear signs of grossly anorexic behavior. However, in my zeal to lose and blind faith in a program that I believed I was utilizing "perfectly" I failed to see the warning signs my own body was giving me.

Kimmer replied:

Your calories are low, protein good, but I have questions about whether quantities are accurate if you're not using a food scale and some days are missing.

Be sure of measurements. How do you figure .1 cup of salsa? .1 cup of olives? .1 cup of shredded cheese?

Skip all sausage, even turkey, if you're not losing
Skip bacon
Skip pork roast
Skip pastrami

What are you using to weigh protein like 2 oz, 3 oz? Use specific ounces, not "1 serving"

Measure coffee mug, very few are 8 oz, most are 12-16 oz

Keep veggie limits to 3 cups raw or 2 + .5 cup cooked. How did you measure .75 cup of cooked cabbage?

Egg beaters, 1 cup? That's quite a bit. Better to have fewer eggs & an extra salad serving or lettuce roll-up.

I have to ask -- what's with all the egg whites? And what do you do with the yolks?

Christin:

Kimmer thank you so much for checking this out for me. In answer to your questions. As far as the .1 cup thing - I couldn't find an option for a tsp measurement on those and I wanted to have it in there... so that's my best guess for the amt.

I have a food scale that I use to measure ounces and that's what I've used.

The 1 serving thing... those are individual servings _base_d on the packaging when they don't give me the ounces. Do I need to measure them anyways? I'm just going by the serving size (ie 1 piece).

I had a feeling about the pork roast thing... my SIL wanted German for her bday and that was the ONLY thing I could find on their menu that was remotely close to plan - that's where the cabbage was too... (sauerkraut, but fitday doesn't have that, so I know the sodium was WAY up there that day) The serving they put on the plate was aprox 1 cup. I didn't eat the whole thing, but I'm pretty sure I ate more that
1/2 cup so that's why I did the .75. It was an estimate since we were out and I couldn't measure exactly.

I've decided to cut coffee all together for a while to see if that helps pick it up... Pray for me, it's going to be VERY difficult.

I was doing the EW challenge that's what all the EW is for... higher protein less fat... forgive me but I throw the yolk out. I'm looking for boxed EW so that it will be a bit easier... But i'm out of pretty much everything so I'm having to make do with what I can till I get to the grocery store.

Thanks for your suggestions, anything else?

Kimmer:

Christin, you did really good at a German restaurant! My family is German and, yikes! Yeah, that meal will mess with your progress because restaurants do things to enhance their food -- but it didn't trigger a binge and you enjoyed family time!

No need to weigh prepackaged stuff, but is anything you could substitute the sausages with? Even diced chicken chunks? I still cook up 2 breasts (various spices), dice into "dice" size squares and keep them in a Gladware bowl in the fridge. I grab a couple whenever I want a quick snack.

If you're a fish fan, there's a whole 'sea' world. Sea World, get it -- I'm so funny (not!)

Christin, you're doing good and you've lost soooo much! Keep it up, it will come. Maybe try limiting protein to 3 oz portions, you can always get more if you need/want it.

Or, my sister's favorite "snack" during her weight loss. The romaine lettuce roll ups. Layout a big leaf, lay 1 slice of Oscar Meyer sliced sandwich ham, either a squirt of mustard or a drizzle of salsa, roll up & eat -- 10 calories. (emphasis mine)

Not only were my low calories praised and encouraged, but I was encouraged to cut even more than what I already was consuming on a diet of primarily egg whites which had received full blessing as well. I did not "abuse" the plan.

True that no one forced me to eat this way, or told me that I must follow everything that Kimmer said. But, when you feel as though you've been handed the keys to true permanent weight loss, and you are so close to achieving that goal, it is difficult not to be blinded by your own aspirations, especially when receiving such encouragement. I was affirmed that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I used the plan. Plain and simple.