Why???

I am astounded at the peace and clarity that comes from distance. As I step back and look over the events of this last year I am reminded of something that my mother used to tell me constantly. "Hindsight is 20/20." Life is full of "shoulda, coulda, woulda's," and it is what we do with those things in moving forward that determines our character and our ability to learn from our mistakes. The following question was asked on my friend Becky's blog and I feel that it would be helpful to all those who have been following me and my friends in our on-going involvement in this saga if I answer it here on my own journey blog.

"But I was focused on my own success and never considered that others would take the plan to the extreme. I have read Christin's blog and accept that she is sorry for her part in the deception.. what I can't understand is, if she had medical problems as a result of the diet, why did she accept the offer from WW and why did she later accept the position as PR Director? 20,000 members looked to her success and trusted her advice. But I suppose I should direct those questions to Christin."

I appreciate your acceptance of my apology. Your first statement there says a lot about my own journey as well. I guess Kimmer was right in one thing when she called me "naive." Yes, I was naive. I had never low carb dieted before Kimkins. I accepted what I thought was a solid plan. I did not know until I began working with Kimmer that there was no doctor's approval for the program. I had assumed that because it was a published program that I paid money for it had to be legit right? I know better now.... I'm not so naive anymore.

In regard to my health issues that I encountered... honestly, I again accepted them at the time as minor issues that would correct themselves in time. When WW called, I had only just reached my goal of 100 pounds lost. I was the latest success story. I was thrilled as you can imagine anyone would be at finally FINALLY being "normal." Those of you who have struggled for years and years with your weight know what a rush that can be. At that time, my hair issue had just begun, and it had been explained to me as "normal." Same with my menses. When we lose fat we lose estrogen, therefore our bodies have to "regroup." I explained it away to myself too.

I accepted the PR position because I still believed in the program. I still do - as a base. After researching extensively on the programs which Kimkins was based on (Atkins 72 and Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Program), I learned quite a few differences, classified as Kimmer "tweaks." These tweaks were addressed in my questions to Kimmer, as I began to realize that there were specific medical reasons that both of these doctors included things in their programs. I do still agree with the concept of a low carb/lean protein program. But notice the emphasis on LOW carb, not NO carb.

The basic Stillman's plan does incorporate even fruit and dairy, and Dr Atkins included other healthy veggie carbs too. Both plans emphasise the importance of hydration and water. While the basis for Kimkins tweaks centered around a disagreement with Dr Atkins theory of "Be shockingly UNafraid of fat," I believe there is an opposite extreme as well for people to "be shockingly AFRAID of fat."

You are right and it a tremendous weight on me to know of the thousands, well millions, of people saw my face and read my testimony. Thousands joined because of my story. They trust me and look up to me. This is almost overwhelming to me. I am just a mom.... just a mom from a little town in Texas. It was, and still is my desire to help those who are hurting. Why did I accept the offer from WW and the PR position? To help. To give hope. To let those who are hurting and struggling know that they don't have to live like that.

What does this to me now? I'd still like to hope that I am helping. Woman's World didn't just show people a plan... it showed them me. I want to encourage you and the rest of my readers in this. I am still here. I did lose the weight and I am still maintaining it. Let my loss inspire you, not just the way I did it. There is no one magic cure-all for obesity. If there was, we would all be skinny and not have the need for inspiration and encouragement. I am here because I understand the pain. I understand and will continue to blog and email and do whatever I can to help anyone achieve their goals no matter what program they chose to follow. All I ask is that you do it safely. Like I said over and over within the Kimkins forums. Learn to listen to your body... but not just where food is concerned as well. Pay attention to other physical cues that your body may be giving you. I should have listened to mine, and fortunately my side effects that came about were easily corrected. But each person is different. That is why there is no "cookie cutter" program. Each person will tweak and embellish to their own body's needs.

I've probably said a lot more here than you wanted to know... but this is me. This is who I am. Did I answer your question?