I'm so sorry....

My heart is aching tonight. I am so broken over any pain or hurt that I have caused many of you. I am so sorry I am that I delayed “Thank You’s” to all who helped my family during the aftermath of our accident. One of my many human downfalls is and has always been promptness in sending Thank You notes. I realize now that my neglect was wrong, it was rude, and has caused much distress to some very generous and kind hearted people. I hope that you will accept this apology and please forgive me for not acknowledging you sooner. I hope that you have all received my email by now, and if you have not, please forward your personal email address to me at: bear-family@sbcglobal.net. I want to personally send you an apology as well.

I know that many of you are curious and hurt by my recent activities regarding the upcoming Low Carb Community Cruise. The first cruise that I went on at the beginning of the year was paid for as a gift from a friend, and it was a welcome relief after all that I had been through over the previous couple of months. I was only excited that my injuries from the accident had not hindered my ability to go. That trip was such a success that the organizer of the latest cruise this year has asked for my assistance in gathering the community together and preparing the “Low Carb Community” activities and gathering on board. This cruise is NOT paid for yet. The only way that I will be able to attend is if we have a large enough group attending, which, as participating group organizer, will allow me to receive compensation for my work.

I have done all I know to do to express my most sincere gratitude to everyone who assisted my family during the time after our accident. I do not know who all the donors are, I can only say thank you here publicly on my blog, and send emails now to those who I had contact information for, both of which I have done. I apologize again if my participation in the community cruise gathering was confusing or distressing to any of you.

My vision for this cruise was and is still a gathering together of a community. We are a diversified group. But we are strong, and we are learning. Day by day, we learn from each other how to live a healthier and more productive lifestyle. My inspiration was that no matter what forum, no matter what low carb program you chose, we can still encourage each other. We can still support each other in our communal effort to make a better, healthier life for ourselves and our families.

Once again, I beg your forgiveness for my absent mindedness, and pray for your support as we work together, shoulder to shoulder, educating and inspiring towards a healthier and more contented life.

Gratitude.... and Overcoming.

January 1, 2008. A day that will haunt my memory probably till the end of my life. I wanted to take a few moments now to share with you my recollection of what happened and of the week and events that happened after the accident, and give everyone an update on our status as we stand now almost 5 months later.

We were headed home from spending Christmas with our families. The back end of our car was cramped with gifts. We had a foam "sofa bed" wedged in between the kids car seats in the back of the car. It was about 8:00PM and I was very tired and worn out from the previous week's excitement. I checked to make sure my husband, who was driving, was OK, and then decided to doze off as we still had a little over an hour left in our drive home. I placed my feet on the dash of the car and proceeded to fall asleep.

I woke with a jolt to realize that we had gone off the side of the road and were barrelling down the grassy shoulder. I saw a road-sign quickly approaching and yelled what I can only imagine to be the equivalent of "Watch Out!" The car tilted and fishtailed and I saw headlights in my window... then darkness.

What followed is only as clear to me as a bad dream. Voices... Seeing my brother-in-law at the foot of my bed... pain... bright lights...

The first few days after the accident I was in and out of consciousness. I awoke in the hospital after being Life-Flighted there with my family and I am told that my first questions were about the safety of my children and my husband. I do not remember much about this time, but I do remember flashes and pieces. I remember waking and seeing blood and lacerations on my hand. My eye hurt, I remember putting my hand up to it and feeling the stitches. I scratched my head and felt the dried blood and bits of glass. My mother was there, and my sister. They were taking care of me. The first 2 mental evaluations were not good. There was concern I might have brain damage. But... after 3 days... it all started coming back.

I was sent home on the fourth day with instructions that I had a severe head injury and must take it easy. Once home, I was disoriented and in pain. I just wanted to sleep. I went to bed however the next morning I woke up horrifically nauseated and my head hurt terribly. My family made the decision to take me back to the hospital where it was discovered that my brain was still swollen and had been bleeding. I spent 3 more days in the hospital.

During that visit, I was overwhelmed with love and kindness. My family and my in-law family went above and beyond taking care of us. For some reason I was not worried about the presents and possessions we had lost. I knew God would take care of us. I was only grateful that my children had come away COMPLETELY unharmed. My husband only sustained a minor concussion. As I know most other mothers would agree... if it is a matter of me sustaining the injury and my children being unharmed.. then I am blessed.

It was during this stay and after I was finally released to come home that I learned of the incredible kindness and generosity of my online family as well. My friend and fellow low-carber Jimmy Moore rallied and set up a gift fund for my family. I wanted to take a moment here and express my most sincere and heartfelt thanks to all who contributed to that. I do not know who all of you are, but I want you to know that your gift was so appreciated. Hospitals can be pretty demanding about handing them a nice sum even before you are discharged, so please accept my humblest THANK YOU, for helping us during that time. God used you to touch not only my life, but that of my children, husband, extended family, and even my community. I pray that you will be vastly and exponentially rewarded for your generosity and compassion.

A month after the accident, I felt well enough that I thought I might be able to begin to resume life as "normal." I went back to work at my evening job waiting tables at a local restaurant. After my first day on my feet, I realized that all might not be as well as I had hoped. I went back to my doctor to confirm my fears. Because my legs had been on the dashboard when the airbags went off, my ACL tendon in my left knee was torn again. I also found out that I was going to have to have another surgery on my eye that had been cut as well... so I was facing two more surgeries.

I have always been one to try to see the positive in a situation or what I can learn from it. Many would say that I was foolish for having my legs on the dash. Not that I would recommend that way of travel.... but in this particular case, had they been on the floorboard, they would have been crushed. I can count my blessings now that a torn ACL is the extent of that injury and I will walk and even run again versus what the consequences could have been if my legs were crushed.

I had the surgery on my eye about 6 weeks ago, and my ACL reconstruction surgery was 5 weeks ago today. My eye (tear duct repair on the upper and lower ducts), unfortunately, was only about 50% successful. The top tear duct was beyond repair, however, the bottom duct was only clogged and they were able to correct that issue. I am still adjusting to a bit more tearing in that eye, but it is a minor issue to learn to live with. I have been in therapy 3 days a week to re-gain the use of my left leg and it is going very well. I have maybe another month of therapy and am excited that the progress is already evident.

I hope I didn't leave anything out. But, I especially wanted to say "Thank You" again with all my heart to all my dear friends who gave out of the kindness of their hearts to my family in the time following our accident. I wish that I could meet each one of you personally and thank you and give you a hug. My life has been nothing short of a cyclone over the last year, however, I am positive that I am moving forward in the highest anticipation and expectation over what God is going to be doing in the future. The generosity that was shown to me during this time affirmed to me the growing feeling that I have had that ours is a close-knit community: a virtual family. No matter what "home-group" you belong to.... Low Carb Friends, Active Low Carber, Eating Low, Livin Low Carb Discussion, Camp... we are a living thriving community who take care of each-other in a time of need and turmoil as you did for me.

God bless you all my friends and keep you safe and healthy as we learn to live this Low Carb Life together.

I was "Semi-Starving"

It is a well known and well published fact that Heidi Diaz of the Kimkins Diet does not believe in what the medical community deems "Starvation Mode." This was one of the topics that I addressed to her in the letter which resulted in my termination. Although there is plenty within the scientific community to prove and explain this phenomenon, Heidi has always held to that these beliefs were falsehoods and that "she didn't buy into it."

Here is just some of what she claims to believe (taken from conversation with Kimkins Admins, August 1, 2007):

"We are low calorie after ketosis kicks in or with the shake option, but those calories are identical to post-WLS patients (500 cal a day for months), original Optifast and Medifast (450-700 cal a day for months).

I don't think we can fight the "1200 calorie a day mentality". Some people cannot understand that your body takes the calories it needs from body fat if the calories you eat are too low to sustain current weight. If you need 2500 calories (250 lb person) and eat 500 (number picked for easy math), the other 2000 are taken from body fat....

I don't believe in starvation mode. I cannot and will not say anything about minimum calories. A grilled chicken breast and a 1 cup USDA serving of mixed greens is 200 calories. It just is. Adding fats or starches isn't "healthier" to up the calories."

Heidi would also regularly compare victims in concentration camps surviving on 300-600 calories or less a day. What she failed to acknowledge in this analogy was that most of those prisoners DIED. Many due to starvation. It was because of those horrible restrictions that the Geneva Convention specifically addressed the treatment of POW's and their dietary needs.

I have often compared the symptoms that many people have experienced utilizing the low calories that NATURALLY come by using the Kimkins program, to the side effects experienced by anorexics. I have seen bits and pieces of the scientific studies on this, however none more concise than those found in a study recently provided to me by a reader here on my blog.

"Sixboymom said:

Christin, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm sixboymom from the kimkins site. Anyway, I read this article yesterday, and it explained to me what I went through after starting Kimkins the first time. I never got as bad as the sever cases, but I did develop MANY of the symptoms. I wanted to pass along for other Kimkins survivors to see.

The Effects of Semi-Starvation"

This study, performed on men, consisted of restricting their calories to HALF of what they were accustomed to eating. If these participants were eating according to average consumption for men, that would be approximately 3000 calories. Half would then be about 1500 calories for the purposes of a SEMI-STARVATION study. This is more than DOUBLE what the average person on a strict Kimkins diet is eating.

Many of these symptoms I experienced and didn't even realize that it was due to my eating habits. For example:

"One of the most of the striking changes that occurred in the volunteers was a dramatic increase in food preoccupations. The men found concentration on their usual activities increasingly difficult, because they became plagued by incessant thoughts of food and eating."

"...as well as corresponding declines in interest in sex and activity during semistarvation"

"They made what under normal conditions would be weird and distasteful concoctions," (This reminded me of the "weird" concoctions that I made while participating in the Egg White Challenge)

"Sexual interests were likewise drastically reduced....One subject graphically stated that he had 'no more sexual feeling than a sick oyster.'... The fact that starvation perceptibly altered sexual urges and associated conflicts is of particular interest, since it has been hypothesized that this process is the driving force behind the dieting of many anorexia nervosa patients."

"As the 6 months of semistarvation progressed, the volunteers exhibited many physical changes, including gastrointestinal discomfort; decreased need for sleep; dizziness; headaches; hypersensitivity to noise and light; reduced strength; poor motor control; edema (an excess of fluid causing swelling); hair loss; decreased tolerance for cold temperatures (cold hands and feet); visual disturbances (i.e., inability to focus, eye aches, "spots" in the visual fields); auditory disturbances (i.e., ringing noise in the ears); and paresthesias (i.e., abnormal tingling or prickling sensations, especially in the hands or feet"

The list goes on. I would encourage you to take a few minutes to read this article as it is very informative. Thank you Sixboymom, yes, I do remember you. I hope that your health has turned around and that you are improving now. Heidi, I ask you again, please show me the proof that Starvation Mode does not exist. I would wager that you will be hard pressed to find it.

Hacker Alert!

This is a public service announcement.

If you are a member of Jimmy Moore's site Low Carb Discussion dot com please be aware that the forum has been hacked. The person responsible is sending out a link to re-gain access to the forum. Please do not click on this link as it is a Trojan virus. If you have already clicked on the link and re-entered a password, please be sure to run a virus scan on your computer.

Jimmy will make it known on his blog when it is safe to return.

Thanks and have a great low carb day!

UPDATE!

It has been brought to my attention that a second round of emails was sent out by the hacker with another virus attached. As a reminder please do not open or click on any link sent from a "no-reply" address from Low Carb Discussion. Jimmy will be back in town at the beginning of next week. In the interim time, his admin is working diligently to repair the damage done and the latest update is that the hacker's IP has thus far been traced back near the Los Angeles area in California.

Jimmy will post on his blog as soon as it is safe to return.

UPDATE 4/18/2008

Jimmy and Christine have informed me that the new forum is almost ready to be operational! This good news is tainted however by another warning and alert. If you received the email from the hacker and happened to click on the link which contained the virus, it is strongly recommended that you review your bank account and/or paypal account. It has been reported that at least one person who opened the file has had their account drained. Please be very cautious and take the appropriate measures and means to protect yourself and your identity.