Turkish Delight

I have never thought about or realized the draw that finding a weight loss method that “works” has. Of course anyone would follow a plan that was guaranteed to work. They’d be crazy not to. But… what if that plan was unknowingly dangerous, or even life threatening? What if following that plan led to an addiction? What if following the plan brought on a whole new set of problems?

This is my reality. In the aftermath of my accident and all that has occurred since that time… and after a year of maintaining my weight loss with Kimkins, my reality is harsh (for me). I know that maintaining after losing a great deal of weight is not easy by any means. However, after following a Very Low Calorie program like Kimkins, having a “normal” maintenance life is exponentially more difficult.

After Kimkins, I made it my goal to learn how to eat and be healthy. I enrolled in school and have begun my newest journey towards obtaining a degree in Nutrition and Kinesiology. But, even in all I’m learning, why does Kimkins still have an allure to me? Simple… it worked to get the weight off. It was a fix. There was an uncanny high that came from feeling that sense of control and seeing the scale drop every day. Even within the forums of Kimkins there was a glossy magnetism about it. It was a happy place where everything was encouraging and everyone was your friend. But, that addicting appeal was seductive, it was a Turkish Delight. In the sweet comfort lay something far more sinister than the appearance it put off.

Within the confines of my little weight loss world, and my adherence to the Kimkins plan, something grew. I developed a full blown eating disorder. Coming out of that program, I was even more shocked to learn that I was not the only one either. Had this “solution” to my weight problems actually given me a whole new predicament to deal with?

I’ve kept most of my weight off for over a year now, true…. However, with time, as with most things, some has begun to creep back on. For this reason, I now am facing the reality of a) get this under control, or b) go back to the way I was. Option B is not an option.
I have often thought about the draw to that way of eating in similarity to recovering from a drug addiction. If you go back to it, the first hits give instant relief and “comfort.” You think… I control this, it doesn’t control me. However, the longer it continues; the reality is… that it does control you. You are trapped in a never-ending carrousel of recovery/getting a fix.

I would be kidding myself if I did not admit that the appeal and draw to go back to a Kimkins method of eating was not strong. But why would I do that to myself? The rational in my head says… it’s only 15 pounds… you’ll get that off real quick and then you can go back to eating right. But my heart knows better. I know that if I returned to that method of eating I would be caught in a vicious cycle of ALWAYS having to return to that in order to keep my weight under control. That is no way to live. I would much rather have one fixed way of healthfully eating that, combined with a regular exercise program, I know is good for me and will allow me to not only get my weight back under control, but provide me with a pure and simple strategy for lifelong fitness.

So what is my reality? My reality is that here I sit, facing the dreaded re-gain. However, I am also a VICTORIOUS recovering eating disorder addict. I WILL do what is best for my body…. And that is NOT Kimkins.