"The Truth will set you free..."
How many times have I heard this phrase? I often contemplate just what it means for me. Often, it means different things based simply on what emphasis you give it. The truth... the TRUTH... THE truth... WILL set you free... will set you FREE. It has meant a bit of all of these inflections to me over the last several months.
It has been a several months since I've been here blogging about weight loss, weight loss scams (and scammer), and life. Over the last few months I've had one more surgery on my knee, plus recovery and therapy time, I have been totally immersed in a very difficult semester in school, I've been working strenuously at two jobs... Not to mention making time for my own family and personal needs.
It is because of these last few months that I must embrase the following inflection of that initial phrase. "The TRUTH will set you free..." I am having a difficult time coming to grips with what my own truth is. The only reason I am publishing it here is because I must be held accountible. Not only to myself, but to all those who follow my blog as well. Since my most recent injury and surgury, my weight has become increasingly difficult to maintain and keep under control. I know that this is partially my fault due to my inability to excercise, compensations should be made in the way I was eating. But none-the-less, I did not. Therefore, over the last 7-8 months I have put on about 25 extra pounds. This has been very disheartening for me and has kept me feeling enslaved to maintaining a lie. But I believe that by putting this truth out here like this, MY TRUTH is now laid bare, and I am not allowing any false presuppositions of my weightloss/maintenance status to be upheld.
I am dilligently working on a HEALTHY plan now to reclaim those 25 pounds lost once again and am confident that patience and perseverance will prevail. My difficulty will be in wanting to get it off NOW. This philosophy was ingrained in my not only this fast paced society that we live in, but also my past experiences. Throughout my experience with the Kimkins program, one of the things that made it so attractive was the speed at which the weight did come off. Over these last few years since I have been away from that program however, I have learned the value of attaining something that you have not only worked hard for, but have waited for with patience. True sustainable weight loss comes at a hard price. It takes time. But it is through that time that you learn healthy new habits that are also sustainable which allow that weight loss to be permanent. Rapid weight loss is never (with a very RARE exception) permanent.
It is this discouragement and "need for rapid loss" mentality which I believe is sending people to return once again to the Kimkins program. Yes, they may be able to get off once again that which they initially lost. BUT, they will once again be caught in that dangerous cycle in which they will regain, and then back to Kimkins, and on and on it will go. There is a two fold danger in that cycle. Not only is constant yo-yo dieting very hard on your body, it can be seriously dangerous. It can be dangerous for your heart, liver, and other organs that are trying to cope with the never ending starvation/feasting roller coaster. Too much of that up and down, and the organs will wear out rapidly. Not only that, but according to other health studies, yo-yo dieting can drastically reduce natural immune system cells which not only target viruses, but also aid the body fighting against cancer cells.
We lose weight initially so we can look better and feel better about ourselves. But, the other issue that I have been faced with over these last several months is the emotional damage that regaining weight can bring. Emotionally and psychologically, I have a very difficult time with self-acceptance and self-worth. When you are in a constant struggle of up and down, gaining and losing, you will also have a psychological war waging within. "I love how I feel when I'm losing," "I hate myself for gaining." This is not healthy either. Health encompases all parts of our being, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states combined. This is what makes us unique. When one of those parts is out of balance, the rest will be too. Educate yourself on healthy, proven, maintainable eating strategies which will allow your loss to be much longer lasting. While I cannot guarentee that will improve your self-image, I'm certain that for myself, it can't hurt!
I meant to write tonight of the impact that the TRUTH has had on me over the last several months. Not only with my personal weight gain and epiphanies on sustainable loss strategies, but also in recent events within the Kimkins TRUTH vs DECEIT saga. I will have to get into that at another time, but let me leave you with this. The truth is evident to all. With the recent victory in claiming (once again) class certification in the lawsuit against the Kimkins fraud, it is apparent that regardless of excuses and attempts to cover-up and clean-up, the TRUTH speaks for itself.
Showing posts with label weight loss maintenance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss maintenance. Show all posts
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Turkish Delight
I have never thought about or realized the draw that finding a weight loss method that “works” has. Of course anyone would follow a plan that was guaranteed to work. They’d be crazy not to. But… what if that plan was unknowingly dangerous, or even life threatening? What if following that plan led to an addiction? What if following the plan brought on a whole new set of problems?
This is my reality. In the aftermath of my accident and all that has occurred since that time… and after a year of maintaining my weight loss with Kimkins, my reality is harsh (for me). I know that maintaining after losing a great deal of weight is not easy by any means. However, after following a Very Low Calorie program like Kimkins, having a “normal” maintenance life is exponentially more difficult.
After Kimkins, I made it my goal to learn how to eat and be healthy. I enrolled in school and have begun my newest journey towards obtaining a degree in Nutrition and Kinesiology. But, even in all I’m learning, why does Kimkins still have an allure to me? Simple… it worked to get the weight off. It was a fix. There was an uncanny high that came from feeling that sense of control and seeing the scale drop every day. Even within the forums of Kimkins there was a glossy magnetism about it. It was a happy place where everything was encouraging and everyone was your friend. But, that addicting appeal was seductive, it was a Turkish Delight. In the sweet comfort lay something far more sinister than the appearance it put off.
Within the confines of my little weight loss world, and my adherence to the Kimkins plan, something grew. I developed a full blown eating disorder. Coming out of that program, I was even more shocked to learn that I was not the only one either. Had this “solution” to my weight problems actually given me a whole new predicament to deal with?
I’ve kept most of my weight off for over a year now, true…. However, with time, as with most things, some has begun to creep back on. For this reason, I now am facing the reality of a) get this under control, or b) go back to the way I was. Option B is not an option.
I have often thought about the draw to that way of eating in similarity to recovering from a drug addiction. If you go back to it, the first hits give instant relief and “comfort.” You think… I control this, it doesn’t control me. However, the longer it continues; the reality is… that it does control you. You are trapped in a never-ending carrousel of recovery/getting a fix.
I would be kidding myself if I did not admit that the appeal and draw to go back to a Kimkins method of eating was not strong. But why would I do that to myself? The rational in my head says… it’s only 15 pounds… you’ll get that off real quick and then you can go back to eating right. But my heart knows better. I know that if I returned to that method of eating I would be caught in a vicious cycle of ALWAYS having to return to that in order to keep my weight under control. That is no way to live. I would much rather have one fixed way of healthfully eating that, combined with a regular exercise program, I know is good for me and will allow me to not only get my weight back under control, but provide me with a pure and simple strategy for lifelong fitness.
So what is my reality? My reality is that here I sit, facing the dreaded re-gain. However, I am also a VICTORIOUS recovering eating disorder addict. I WILL do what is best for my body…. And that is NOT Kimkins.
This is my reality. In the aftermath of my accident and all that has occurred since that time… and after a year of maintaining my weight loss with Kimkins, my reality is harsh (for me). I know that maintaining after losing a great deal of weight is not easy by any means. However, after following a Very Low Calorie program like Kimkins, having a “normal” maintenance life is exponentially more difficult.
After Kimkins, I made it my goal to learn how to eat and be healthy. I enrolled in school and have begun my newest journey towards obtaining a degree in Nutrition and Kinesiology. But, even in all I’m learning, why does Kimkins still have an allure to me? Simple… it worked to get the weight off. It was a fix. There was an uncanny high that came from feeling that sense of control and seeing the scale drop every day. Even within the forums of Kimkins there was a glossy magnetism about it. It was a happy place where everything was encouraging and everyone was your friend. But, that addicting appeal was seductive, it was a Turkish Delight. In the sweet comfort lay something far more sinister than the appearance it put off.
Within the confines of my little weight loss world, and my adherence to the Kimkins plan, something grew. I developed a full blown eating disorder. Coming out of that program, I was even more shocked to learn that I was not the only one either. Had this “solution” to my weight problems actually given me a whole new predicament to deal with?
I’ve kept most of my weight off for over a year now, true…. However, with time, as with most things, some has begun to creep back on. For this reason, I now am facing the reality of a) get this under control, or b) go back to the way I was. Option B is not an option.
I have often thought about the draw to that way of eating in similarity to recovering from a drug addiction. If you go back to it, the first hits give instant relief and “comfort.” You think… I control this, it doesn’t control me. However, the longer it continues; the reality is… that it does control you. You are trapped in a never-ending carrousel of recovery/getting a fix.
I would be kidding myself if I did not admit that the appeal and draw to go back to a Kimkins method of eating was not strong. But why would I do that to myself? The rational in my head says… it’s only 15 pounds… you’ll get that off real quick and then you can go back to eating right. But my heart knows better. I know that if I returned to that method of eating I would be caught in a vicious cycle of ALWAYS having to return to that in order to keep my weight under control. That is no way to live. I would much rather have one fixed way of healthfully eating that, combined with a regular exercise program, I know is good for me and will allow me to not only get my weight back under control, but provide me with a pure and simple strategy for lifelong fitness.
So what is my reality? My reality is that here I sit, facing the dreaded re-gain. However, I am also a VICTORIOUS recovering eating disorder addict. I WILL do what is best for my body…. And that is NOT Kimkins.
Monday, March 24, 2008
So what do I do NOW????
I have completed the surgical portion of my accident recovery and things are going well! The experiences of this last year have been extremely enlightening to me. So much so that I have decided to take my newfound passion and inspiration to a new level. I will be returning to college shortly to obtain a degree in health and nutrition. I would encourage anyone who is following a diet plan with such restrictions as Kimkins supplies to consult their doctor or a nutrition specialist to determine the proper way to add foods back in and re-gain a healthy manner of eating. Don’t go anywhere folks... There is still a battle to be fought, and healthy eating habits to learn and regain. Let us press forward to a happier healthier lifestyle together!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Happy Anniversary!
A year has gone by. I still have a hard time believing it but, it's been an entire year that I have maintained my 100 pound weight loss. I have a mixed sense of emotions today as I think back over all that has happened this year. I am proud that I lost the weight of course, but not of the method in which I lost it. I am even prouder though that I have persevered and maintained my loss instead of giving up and giving in. I think I have learned more this last year than I have in the last 10 years. So without further ado, a humorous look at 10 things I've learned since leaving the Kimkins program.
Top 10 Things I’ve Learned Since Kimkins
10) Never trust a Russian Bride.
9) There are many ways to lose weight, starvation included, however not all methods come with a guarantee that you will retain your hair.
8) I did not get fat eating fruits and vegetables!
7) God has created a glorious rainbow of nutrition for me to partake in, and He intends for me to utilize it.
6) I can thoroughly enjoy eating healthfully using all 5 senses, and shift my focus from eating “because it’s there” to indulging in the satisfaction that nourishing my body provides.
5) There really are real people out there who do not lie about themselves or who they truly are, and they’re pretty darn nice too.
4) I must be more careful with my money.
3) Dizziness, nausea, and lightheadedness should NOT accompany NORMAL weight loss methods.
2) Food is to be savored with anticipation, not feared.
1) I am worth transforming my view of “me.” If I accept myself for who and what I am, I will only grow happier by treating myself right and losing/keeping weight off permanently for my own health and betterment.
Friday, February 8, 2008
My Confession
It is time for me to share something with you. I am coming clean about the excruciating difficulty that I have had in maintaining my weight loss that I obtained utilizing a Very Low Calorie Diet such as Kimkins. The road has been far from an easy transition. We think when we are on the road to losing weight that once we attain our goal that life will somehow magically get easier.
There are many people within the Kimkins forums even at this time that are bypassing or ignoring the warnings of various side effects that may occur while utilizing the diet for the mere idealism that, “It’s working for me. I’m losing weight, so a side effect is a short term sacrifice.” But there is one side effect from using this program is not spoken of often and I’m afraid is one of the most mentally demoralizing that can come from achieving weight loss from the Kimkins diet program. That is the inability to maintain the weight loss. Or at the least, maintenance with an agonizing amount of effort.
I have a hobby that most people do not know about me. I am an artist… and not just any artist. I am a cake decorator. My confectionary creations are my art. They are each works of love and I put a tremendous amount of pride and effort into each one that I make.
On one occasion I was hired to provide a Barbie cake for a sweet 4 year old little girl. I worked on that piece with much joy and anticipation knowing how happy it would make that little girl. I made a mistake however, in the delivery of that cake when instead of the safer route of placing the cake on the floorboard of my car; I was in a hurry and opted to place it in the passenger seat next to me. The inevitable happened, and a car stopped quickly in front of me. In order to avoid a collision I too stepped quickly on my brakes. The force of gravity was too strong, and the cake slid off the seat and onto the floor upside down. I decided to take the easy and quick solution and ended up not only losing what I’d worked so hard for; but I also lost my profit from the cake, and disappointed a precious little girl.
The reason for my story is this. Why would we labor and put effort into something that means much more to us than a cake (our bodies and lives), if the method in which we choose to better ourselves in actuality sets us up for almost inevitable failure?
Weight loss is a very personal and difficult journey in and of itself. We work hard. We sacrifice, we get discouraged, we get excited, we laugh, we cry, we push ourselves farther than we thought we could go. But what does all that hard work profit us if it is not met with some sort of reward? As exciting and rewarding as achieving a goal weight is, it is also worthless if that goal is not maintained. The true prize in a weight loss journey is sustaining that loss and better health for the rest of our lives.
The transition from weight loss to a maintenance lifestyle should be smooth and painless. It should allow freedom and excitement in a new way of life. It should not be confusing and discouraging. One of the hardest things for me to hear is when people disregard the warnings about the dangerous side effects from the Kimkins program by rationalizing that I lost the weight and “it worked for me,” especially since I have kept the weight off for almost a year now. What most people do not know, is that it has taken me an entire year to even moderately repair the damage that my metabolism endured by losing weight the way I did. My transition into maintenance was/is EXTREMELY slow and difficult. The fear to add in any foods warred with the head knowledge that I HAD to eat something. Even now, I am still not in the position that most hope for to be able to eat “normally.”
Kimkins has NO maintenance program. The guidelines that were provided at one point in time were actually written by me, and were removed very quickly after I left the program. I am not a dietician or physician, so I have no doubt that even the guidelines that I was lead to believe were appropriate were lacking in nutritional value. Most of my friends and acquaintances who have since come off of the Kimkins program and resumed eating “normally” have either completely halted their weight loss efforts, or put back on the majority of the weight that they initially lost. Through our discussions we all agree that it would have behooved us to have lost the weight that we did utilizing a program that would not have set us up for such heartache.
So yes, it might be working for you. Yes, you may be losing weight rapidly and ignoring the other warnings. You may view me and those with me who oppose the Kimkins program as hateful because we have discouraged the only program you think will work for you. But, I must ask you to step away for a moment and glance into the future. How will you maintain your loss? Praying that you do not suffer any other side effects that many, if not most, of us have suffered; how will you sustain the joy of your new body? No one wants to have to continue a diet indefinitely. I certainly do not want to have to resort to reducing my caloric intake again such as I did with Kimkins merely to get off the holiday 10lbs. That is a miserable existence.
Think of yourself in 1, 3, or 5 years. Where do you want to be personally? I only wish the best for those of you who are still traveling the weight loss portion of your journey. I pray that you will not struggle as I have to sustain the tremendous effort that you have put in to reach your goals. As for me…. My metabolism will repair eventually. It will take time, and great care and attentiveness, but, I am confident that I will get there someday. I hope you are there sooner.
There are many people within the Kimkins forums even at this time that are bypassing or ignoring the warnings of various side effects that may occur while utilizing the diet for the mere idealism that, “It’s working for me. I’m losing weight, so a side effect is a short term sacrifice.” But there is one side effect from using this program is not spoken of often and I’m afraid is one of the most mentally demoralizing that can come from achieving weight loss from the Kimkins diet program. That is the inability to maintain the weight loss. Or at the least, maintenance with an agonizing amount of effort.
I have a hobby that most people do not know about me. I am an artist… and not just any artist. I am a cake decorator. My confectionary creations are my art. They are each works of love and I put a tremendous amount of pride and effort into each one that I make.
On one occasion I was hired to provide a Barbie cake for a sweet 4 year old little girl. I worked on that piece with much joy and anticipation knowing how happy it would make that little girl. I made a mistake however, in the delivery of that cake when instead of the safer route of placing the cake on the floorboard of my car; I was in a hurry and opted to place it in the passenger seat next to me. The inevitable happened, and a car stopped quickly in front of me. In order to avoid a collision I too stepped quickly on my brakes. The force of gravity was too strong, and the cake slid off the seat and onto the floor upside down. I decided to take the easy and quick solution and ended up not only losing what I’d worked so hard for; but I also lost my profit from the cake, and disappointed a precious little girl.
The reason for my story is this. Why would we labor and put effort into something that means much more to us than a cake (our bodies and lives), if the method in which we choose to better ourselves in actuality sets us up for almost inevitable failure?
Weight loss is a very personal and difficult journey in and of itself. We work hard. We sacrifice, we get discouraged, we get excited, we laugh, we cry, we push ourselves farther than we thought we could go. But what does all that hard work profit us if it is not met with some sort of reward? As exciting and rewarding as achieving a goal weight is, it is also worthless if that goal is not maintained. The true prize in a weight loss journey is sustaining that loss and better health for the rest of our lives.
The transition from weight loss to a maintenance lifestyle should be smooth and painless. It should allow freedom and excitement in a new way of life. It should not be confusing and discouraging. One of the hardest things for me to hear is when people disregard the warnings about the dangerous side effects from the Kimkins program by rationalizing that I lost the weight and “it worked for me,” especially since I have kept the weight off for almost a year now. What most people do not know, is that it has taken me an entire year to even moderately repair the damage that my metabolism endured by losing weight the way I did. My transition into maintenance was/is EXTREMELY slow and difficult. The fear to add in any foods warred with the head knowledge that I HAD to eat something. Even now, I am still not in the position that most hope for to be able to eat “normally.”
Kimkins has NO maintenance program. The guidelines that were provided at one point in time were actually written by me, and were removed very quickly after I left the program. I am not a dietician or physician, so I have no doubt that even the guidelines that I was lead to believe were appropriate were lacking in nutritional value. Most of my friends and acquaintances who have since come off of the Kimkins program and resumed eating “normally” have either completely halted their weight loss efforts, or put back on the majority of the weight that they initially lost. Through our discussions we all agree that it would have behooved us to have lost the weight that we did utilizing a program that would not have set us up for such heartache.
So yes, it might be working for you. Yes, you may be losing weight rapidly and ignoring the other warnings. You may view me and those with me who oppose the Kimkins program as hateful because we have discouraged the only program you think will work for you. But, I must ask you to step away for a moment and glance into the future. How will you maintain your loss? Praying that you do not suffer any other side effects that many, if not most, of us have suffered; how will you sustain the joy of your new body? No one wants to have to continue a diet indefinitely. I certainly do not want to have to resort to reducing my caloric intake again such as I did with Kimkins merely to get off the holiday 10lbs. That is a miserable existence.
Think of yourself in 1, 3, or 5 years. Where do you want to be personally? I only wish the best for those of you who are still traveling the weight loss portion of your journey. I pray that you will not struggle as I have to sustain the tremendous effort that you have put in to reach your goals. As for me…. My metabolism will repair eventually. It will take time, and great care and attentiveness, but, I am confident that I will get there someday. I hope you are there sooner.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Why.... The Risks ARE Real.
Many times I am asked why I am continuing to spread the word about my fears regarding the Kimkins program and sharing what I feel are the very real and present dangers regarding the eating issues that can arise utilizing it as written. I want to share some of my motivation with you today. It is not often that I share photos of my family here in my blog, but these people are some of the most important people in the world to me.
This photo was taken about 2 and ½ hours prior to our accident on January 1 of this year. From my grandparents, to my parents, to all 5 of my siblings plus their spouses… these incredible people are why I do what I do. Standing by a loved one suffering is heartbreaking, no matter what precipitated it, but no family should have to endure watching a loved one endure the self-inflicted illnesses many Kimkins users have experienced. Each member of my family was worried about my emerging anorexia/bulimia. All expressed their concerns for my health and eating disordered methods and mentalities.
So why did I blog about Kimkins from my hospital room? Because I was overwhelmed with love, support and kindness from my family and those closest to me. I could imagine another family sitting in a similar hospital room watching their loved one suffer from a preventable eating disorder or a side effect from disordered type of behavior, and I felt that warnings must continue to be given.
If you have a loved one who is suffering, or if you have concerns or questions regarding the warning signs of these behaviors, please feel free to contact me through my blog or send me an email. I’d love to help however I can, whether through a listening ear, understanding shoulder, or caring hand.
This photo was taken about 2 and ½ hours prior to our accident on January 1 of this year. From my grandparents, to my parents, to all 5 of my siblings plus their spouses… these incredible people are why I do what I do. Standing by a loved one suffering is heartbreaking, no matter what precipitated it, but no family should have to endure watching a loved one endure the self-inflicted illnesses many Kimkins users have experienced. Each member of my family was worried about my emerging anorexia/bulimia. All expressed their concerns for my health and eating disordered methods and mentalities.
So why did I blog about Kimkins from my hospital room? Because I was overwhelmed with love, support and kindness from my family and those closest to me. I could imagine another family sitting in a similar hospital room watching their loved one suffer from a preventable eating disorder or a side effect from disordered type of behavior, and I felt that warnings must continue to be given.
If you have a loved one who is suffering, or if you have concerns or questions regarding the warning signs of these behaviors, please feel free to contact me through my blog or send me an email. I’d love to help however I can, whether through a listening ear, understanding shoulder, or caring hand.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Ready for the Holidays?
As I stated in a previous post, the holidays can be very difficult for all of us when it comes to learning to eat healthy. Please join me today as I join Connie Bennet, Author of "Sugar Shock!"; Jimmy Moore of Livin La Vida Low Carb; Laura Dolson from About.com Low Carb journalism; and Judy Barnes Baker - author of "Carb Wars: Sugar Is the New Fat" cookbook; to discuss surviving the holidays living a low carb, sugar free lifestyle.
The show will air live at 3:00 EST and can be found here:
Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show
If for some reason you miss the show, you can listen afterwards HERE.
Here is the link for the promotional write up the Connie has posted on her blog: Low-Carb Experts Help You Survive Sweet Holiday Temptations on the Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show Tomorrow
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Practical Problems
Thanksgiving is scary. For anyone who has struggled with their weight, whether just a few pounds up and down… or the drastic weight loss winners… it’s scary. We know what happens at this time of the year. Inhibitions are mysteriously released and we lose control over the stuffing, potatoes and apple pie. (For my European readers bear with me, I do have a point.)
I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.
The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.
Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?
Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.
The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.
What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.
As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.
As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.
As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.
EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.
I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.
The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.
Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?
Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.
The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.
What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.
As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.
As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.
As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.
EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Misplaced Motivation
"There is no sadder grief than that which lies at the bottom of a life that has been wrecked through deception"
~Lemuel K. Washburn
"An honorable man or woman is one who is truthful; free from deceit; above cheating, lying, stealing, or any form of deception. An honorable man or woman is one who learns early that one cannot do wrong and feel right. A man's character is judged on how he keeps his word and his agreements."
~Ezra Taft Benson
I feel the time is right for me to address the questions and concerns that have risen in regards to my motivation and purpose in my stance against the Kimkins diet and exposing Heidi Diaz. It is no secret that for the last year I was a avid supporter of the Kimkins diet. After all, I lost 100lbs. I was assured with absolute confidence that being overweight was far greater a risk than any I would subject myself to by utilizing this diet. So with much gusto and enthusiasm I embraced the teachings of "Kimmer" and touted them as she had instructed me.
I excitedly traveled to Los Angeles for the Woman's World photo shoot and believed with all my heart that I was helping motivate others to lose that dreaded fat through my actions. After all... Heidi had done it... she not only lost it but maintained it for 5 years! I was sure there was hope for me to finally win the battle of the bulge. I wrote my "How I Did It" thread again with enthusiasm and inspiration. All done with the encouragement and flattery that I was a "star." I was Heidi's cover girl and her pupil.
My participation in Kimkins was enthusiastic to say the least. So much so that the side effects/symptoms of malnutrition and starvation that I was experiencing I was grasping at every straw that I could to justify and explain what was happening to me. I went to my doctor to get a physical in July after being off of the program for 4 months. My blood work and other things all showed up ok and when I told my doctor about my weight loss... I simply explained it as "Lean proteins and veggies." He was fine with that, with only a passing comment about a high protein diet being ok for those who are "younger and more resilient." When my blood work came in ok I clung to that as validation that I was ok... however... my hair loss had still not slowed down and my menstrual cycle was still very irregular.
As the PR representative I began to do research with the rising "grumblings" against Kimkins and Kimmer, I felt it was my responsibility to "debunk" what I was told were misconceptions and misinformation's regarding the program. As I researched and began to delve into the issues arising in following a very low calorie diet such as Kimkins, I realized that I was not alone in my symptoms. I grew increasingly worried as I learned that the symptoms I was having were very much in line with those who suffered from eating disorders such as Anorexia.
Not long there after was when Becky left/was fired from the program. I had begun to see the person behind the mask. Although I had desperately wanted to believe Kimmer, and to question now was to go back on everything I had trusted in and based my life on for the last year, I knew that if I was to represent the company with integrity and present it (the Kimkins company) as an ethical and upstanding growing corporation, I must clear the air of the murk that was beginning to set in.
The last couple of weeks in August were agonizing for me emotionally as I gathered my thoughts and evidence for the questions that I had for Kimmer/Heidi. I knew based on Becky's experience that my asking would only have one result, and yet I still believed in the potential goodness of Heidi and I wanted desperately to believe that what I knew would happen wouldn't. However, my own experience was becoming a frightening reality and the questions within the boards of people becoming very ill and growing medical problems were too loud to ignore and the questions must be asked.
On September 3, 2007 while on vacation with my family and with many tears and great heaviness I submitted my questions to Heidi Diaz, knowing what the result would be for my "defiance" and inquiries. I have written about my questions previously but again listed for your review, I requested verification and documentation on the following points:
1) The safety of her claims regarding laxative use.
2) The claim that the program was technically "doctor approved" because it was based off of programs written by doctors, and a statement that a doctor's approval for the program was long overdue. I also requested a copy of the email that she had claimed to have sent to a bariatric specialist
3)Documentation that the program (being low cal) was safe "no mater if your 14 or 84."
4) The issue that had arisen regarding teens utilizing the website and her encouragement to continue on the plan when she had clearly stated that teens were not allowed.
5) Questions followed up with examples clearing the air regarding her identity as Heidi Diaz.
Here is the response that I received from Heidi about 30 minutes after I asked those questions:
"I understand that you're a person of integrity and it seems you've had a
nice life (meaning you might be a bit protected or naive -- which is nice!)...
...You will discontinue as Director of Media & PR. I have someone in
mind who can step in...."
In a following email:
"...I don't see that there's a future for you with Kimkins unless you can
come up with something that wouldn't jeopardize your integrity..."
So am I a disgruntled employee? No. Since I left Kimkins I have had almost daily contact with people who have been hurt. Physically, emotionally, and psychologically from this woman and this twisted eating plan, and I am deeply saddened.
Shortly after returning from my "vacation" I decided that it was necessary for me to return to my doctor and come clean with what I had actually done. If you have followed my blog you know what the results of that meeting were. With tears and grief I shared my story with him and his concern was genuine.
My side effects, however scary, have been minimal compared to the stories that are coming to me. My heart breaks for these people, and they are crying out for a voice. If I was spared greater damage to be their voice, then so be it and I am prepared to do that for them.
My last point is this... you may look at me and say "Well look at her... she lost weight, she looks great... so what if she lost hair, periods, whatever... she's healthy now and has maintained it."
I cannot stress to you how difficult maintenance coming off of this program has been. I will be further blogging about my maintenance strategy at a later date, but the price has been high, and the road so much harder than weight loss ever was. Attempting to repair the damage that I had done to my body has been and continues to be a struggle.
I am not backing down. Yes, I promoted Kimkins. Yes, I believed at one time that it was a lifesaver for me. Knowing what I do now... would I do it again? I honestly don't know. Like so many overweight people today I was desperate. However, my motivation was Kimmer. Her claim to have lost the weight and kept if off... I would want to ask those using the program now though... what is the motivation... where is the proof that you will be safe after you lose the weight and how will you keep it off? A weight loss journey is not just the beginning... it has a middle and an end; it is a complete change in your way of life and thinking. What kind of life will a cycle of restrictive yo-yo eating be though?
I hope that I have been able to clear up some questions that have been circulating around. Please know that my motivation, although misplaced for a time period, has never been anything other than helping others make better lives for themselves.
For such a time as this.... I am prepared.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Why Do We Fail At Maintenance?
This question has been haunting me recently as I’ve passed my one year mark of living a low carb lifestyle. Statistics say that once you lose the weight, most people usually FAIL at keeping it off. Why? What is it that makes living a thin lifestyle for those of us who lived the majority of our lives overweight so difficult? Do we follow a program just to get the weight off or do we truly recognize the need and necessity even of shifting paradigms?
The first time I lost a significant amount of weight I got pregnant almost immediately. At that point, I for some reason thought that I could just go back to eating the way I had previously enjoyed myself. After all, it was for the baby right? The pounds began to pack back on, and this was multiplied when we ended up having complications with the pregnancy and losing that baby. But what happened to me mentally? I obviously had taken the mindset that I needed to lose the weight, but not to keep it off. Bad habits crept back in and before I knew it… not only had I gained it all back, but plus some.
I spent the next 2 years yo-yoing before conceiving again and with that (successful) pregnancy I gained over 70lbs! I knew I was overweight, but just wasn’t in “that place.” I always used the excuse “I could never give up my bread… potatoes… (insert your poison of choice here).” So obviously it wasn’t priority in my life at that point.
Slowly, things began to compile and the veil began to be lifted as I started seeing just what was going on in my own life that was hindering me making a real difference. What was it that was hindering me? Me.
I realized that I was serving me. “I want… I can’t give up…. I deserve…. I can’t pass on….” all about the “I.”
What happened when I started losing weight at lightning speed? My thought process shifted, but from one self serving “I” to another. “I want it off NOW.” Patience and self-control played second fiddle to my insatiable desire to go faster and faster. I was encouraged and spurred on with the hope and false information that this was perfect and a great way to lose. And I bought it! Totally! Never-mind what damaging effects I might have permanently been putting on my body. But one thing rang through….
My mom asked me shortly after I lost the weight if I had in actually traded one selfish ambition for another. Is this what had happened? Is this why we have such a hard time maintaining weight-loss to begin with? I suddenly realized that I had still not completely dealt with the heart issue.
I began my journey with good intentions. I wanted to make a better life for myself, my family, my health, and to honor my Lord with my body. But the road to destruction is often lined with good intentions. When the complements start flying that same self-centered thinking begins to creep back in. “If they like me now… just wait till they see me then…” I don’t think that anyone would deny that being on the cover of a magazine is pretty much the ultimate compliment that you can get when you’ve been losing weight. Especially for someone like me who has been overweight my entire life.
Since leaving the Kimkins program I have learned so much. God has blessed me with incredible friends and family who have supported me 100% in everything that I’ve done. One thing that I discovered however is that by not addressing the base line issue that I had forgotten why I decided to begin my journey in the first place. I chose to live the way that God intended me to live. I no longer face a self-serving attitude of more more more (or less as the case may be). I found that I needed to re-adjust my paradigm and realize that successful weight loss and maintenance was not about getting complements or feeling good about myself, while those are definite benefits and perks, they are not the goal. True maintenance begins in the heart.
By transferring my thinking to a goal of honoring God with my body and extending my life in a healthy way for my children and family, it is no longer about “I.” Food is for nourishment first and enjoyment second. At first, it seems like a tremendous paradox… if we didn’t enjoy food so much then we wouldn’t have a weight problem, but if the pleasure was taken out of eating, then we wouldn’t feel the need to nourish. We have taste-buds for a reason. It is a gift so that we can enjoy this aspect of life. But like other aspects it is a gift we seem to abuse.
By over-indulging we seem to counter-act the exact thing that God intended for us. I believe He would much rather us savor and completely enjoy the flavor of a strawberry, instead of smothering it in sugar and bleached flour and taking away from the nourishment and satisfaction that can come from a simple serving of the fruit. When we over-indulge, we desensitize ourselves and our taste-buds to the actual pleasure that can come from eating GOOD foods.
Ask anyone who has been eating healthfully for an extended period of time. Whole, healthy GOOD foods seem to take on an all new vibrancy. Why? Because we had become desensitized to the actual flavors of the foods themselves. I am constantly amazed at how good I feel and the pleasure that comes from eating well. I can now enjoy those moments of healthful eating with greater satisfaction than the food can give me; because I know that I am honoring God with my choices, and I am giving my children a much brighter future with a healthy and participating mother.
While I am still far from what I would call a complete success as far as the maintenance goes, I feel confident that this time it is for good. It’s been 7 months. This time, it will stick. This time, it’s not about me.
The first time I lost a significant amount of weight I got pregnant almost immediately. At that point, I for some reason thought that I could just go back to eating the way I had previously enjoyed myself. After all, it was for the baby right? The pounds began to pack back on, and this was multiplied when we ended up having complications with the pregnancy and losing that baby. But what happened to me mentally? I obviously had taken the mindset that I needed to lose the weight, but not to keep it off. Bad habits crept back in and before I knew it… not only had I gained it all back, but plus some.
I spent the next 2 years yo-yoing before conceiving again and with that (successful) pregnancy I gained over 70lbs! I knew I was overweight, but just wasn’t in “that place.” I always used the excuse “I could never give up my bread… potatoes… (insert your poison of choice here).” So obviously it wasn’t priority in my life at that point.
Slowly, things began to compile and the veil began to be lifted as I started seeing just what was going on in my own life that was hindering me making a real difference. What was it that was hindering me? Me.
I realized that I was serving me. “I want… I can’t give up…. I deserve…. I can’t pass on….” all about the “I.”
What happened when I started losing weight at lightning speed? My thought process shifted, but from one self serving “I” to another. “I want it off NOW.” Patience and self-control played second fiddle to my insatiable desire to go faster and faster. I was encouraged and spurred on with the hope and false information that this was perfect and a great way to lose. And I bought it! Totally! Never-mind what damaging effects I might have permanently been putting on my body. But one thing rang through….
My mom asked me shortly after I lost the weight if I had in actually traded one selfish ambition for another. Is this what had happened? Is this why we have such a hard time maintaining weight-loss to begin with? I suddenly realized that I had still not completely dealt with the heart issue.
I began my journey with good intentions. I wanted to make a better life for myself, my family, my health, and to honor my Lord with my body. But the road to destruction is often lined with good intentions. When the complements start flying that same self-centered thinking begins to creep back in. “If they like me now… just wait till they see me then…” I don’t think that anyone would deny that being on the cover of a magazine is pretty much the ultimate compliment that you can get when you’ve been losing weight. Especially for someone like me who has been overweight my entire life.
Since leaving the Kimkins program I have learned so much. God has blessed me with incredible friends and family who have supported me 100% in everything that I’ve done. One thing that I discovered however is that by not addressing the base line issue that I had forgotten why I decided to begin my journey in the first place. I chose to live the way that God intended me to live. I no longer face a self-serving attitude of more more more (or less as the case may be). I found that I needed to re-adjust my paradigm and realize that successful weight loss and maintenance was not about getting complements or feeling good about myself, while those are definite benefits and perks, they are not the goal. True maintenance begins in the heart.
By transferring my thinking to a goal of honoring God with my body and extending my life in a healthy way for my children and family, it is no longer about “I.” Food is for nourishment first and enjoyment second. At first, it seems like a tremendous paradox… if we didn’t enjoy food so much then we wouldn’t have a weight problem, but if the pleasure was taken out of eating, then we wouldn’t feel the need to nourish. We have taste-buds for a reason. It is a gift so that we can enjoy this aspect of life. But like other aspects it is a gift we seem to abuse.
By over-indulging we seem to counter-act the exact thing that God intended for us. I believe He would much rather us savor and completely enjoy the flavor of a strawberry, instead of smothering it in sugar and bleached flour and taking away from the nourishment and satisfaction that can come from a simple serving of the fruit. When we over-indulge, we desensitize ourselves and our taste-buds to the actual pleasure that can come from eating GOOD foods.
Ask anyone who has been eating healthfully for an extended period of time. Whole, healthy GOOD foods seem to take on an all new vibrancy. Why? Because we had become desensitized to the actual flavors of the foods themselves. I am constantly amazed at how good I feel and the pleasure that comes from eating well. I can now enjoy those moments of healthful eating with greater satisfaction than the food can give me; because I know that I am honoring God with my choices, and I am giving my children a much brighter future with a healthy and participating mother.
While I am still far from what I would call a complete success as far as the maintenance goes, I feel confident that this time it is for good. It’s been 7 months. This time, it will stick. This time, it’s not about me.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Where do we go from here? ~ The Excellence of Love
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and know all the mysteries and all knowledge;
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but do not have love,
I AM NOTHING.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but do not have love,
it profits me nothing.
Love is patient,
Love is kind,
it is not jealous;
Love does not brag,
it is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with THE TRUTH;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love NEVER fails;
but if there are gifts of prophecy,
they will be done away;
if there are tongues,
they will cease;
if there is knowledge,
it will be done away.
For we know in part,
and we prophesy in part;
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will be done away.
When I was a child, I used to speak as a child,
think as a child,
reason as a child;
When I became a man, I did away with childish things.
For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face;
now I know in part,
but then I will know fully
just as I also have been fully known.
But now abide Faith, Hope, and LOVE, these three;
But the greatest of these is
LOVE."
1 Corinthians 13 (NAS Version)
Is there life after Kimkins? I want to encourage you all. YES. There is. I know for many of you, you believe that Kimkins is the only thing that ever worked for you, but you also can see the health risks and dangers that are prominent with the very low calorie aspects of this program. You know that your body needs more than that, but you are lost and don't know where to turn.
I understand... but know that there is a beacon in the night, a light shinging through the fog. That light is actually what made Kimkins so successful for you in the first place. It is friends and family. Friends that supported you and encouraged you. An online family where you could share your ups and downs, ins and outs, struggles and triumphs. Those people are still out there. They still love you. I still love you. Many have found new homes at various low carb forums around the web. I have too. I will share my resting place with you shortly.
I wanted to encourage you with some tips and places to begin your transition if you have begun it, and hope for those who have not yet. Some of you may experience a slight stall by changing the way you are eating, others may notice a break in a stall. Remember that we are all different, and that is what makes us so special. There is no "cookie cutter" program out there that works for everyone. We must make adjustments according to what our bodies needs are at the time. There are so many good low carb books and plans out there; Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution, Protein Power, The Zone, The Thin Commandments and many many more. I ask that you bear with me as I too learn how to live this low carb life in a healthful way too. But I will always pass along to you the things that I am learning.
Tip 1) Begin by upping your calories by using more protein and added HEALTHY fats (good oils such as olive, avacado, coconut, etc.; healthy nuts such as almonds or walnuts; olives; avacados, dairy, etc.). Everone will have an optimum calorie range that is good for their bodies and will still allow for weight loss. 500 calories is not it. Try for at least 1100-1200. I know this will be hard at first, but your body will thank you in the end.
Tip 2) DO NOT BE AFRAID OF VEGGIES. This was one of my clues that I had changed from a healthy thinking within Kimkins to a more eating dissordered way of thinking. I became AFRAID to add in veggies because I worried that it would slow my loss. We did not get fat from vegetables. Their nutritional value is worth so much more than losing an extra ounce because you did not eat a salad. Remember the 20 carb limit in KK? What if you kept to that thought, but this time use net carbs in veggies. The fiber contained within them and vitamins and minerals are so good for you. God created them to nourish your body. This is why most LC programs have a list that you can eat an UNLIMITED amount from, and another list that is limited... there are veggies that are higher starch/carb than others that you may wish to limit (like winter squashes, pumpkin, carrots, etc...). But these things do contain wonderful vitamins and minerals that your body does need. Just remember what you have learned. 1 serving = 1/2 cup of cooked veggies. Watch the higher carb ones and stick to your serving sizes. Enjoy ENJOY ENJOY the lower carb "free" veggies!
Tip 3) Get moving! I know that many people do not like to excercise. But I think you will find that you will feel so much better even getting out and taking a 30 minute walk. Fall is quickly approaching on us and this is the perfect time to start getting out. Breathe the fresh air, and think about what a better life you are making for yourself and your loved ones with your new way of eating.
In my previous journal I began a book review on The Thin Commandments by Dr Stephen Gullo. I intend to continue that review here on this blog as I believe it to be a truly inspiring peice that sheds light on some of the most essential psychological issues that we all must face if we are to keep the weight off permanently.
I continue now in my forward motion and I am so priviledged to be able to share this road with you.
(PSST... wanna know where my new home is??? Come check it out over at Low Carb Discussion. Special thanks goes to Jimmy Moore for setting up this new home for us. So many good people there. Many friends you will most likely recognize. Send me a PM or post to one of the threads that I regular and I look forward to seeing you there!)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Peace and calm in the Storm
I am amazed at the things that God brings us when we need them most. This morning I looked at one of the most quoted and yet most comforting Psalms. Let Psalm 23 give you peace.
If you are struggling no matter where you are. Find peace. God said that He has not given us a Spirit of Fear. Where there is confusion and turmoil, there is no peace. Where there are lies and deception there is no peace. It is only within the truth that we find that calm an peace. I want my friends to hear me. Those of you still behind the wall and those who have left, know that God gives incredible peace and comfort to those who seek Him. Look to Him for your answers.
I also want to say this. Remember that the enemy masquerades as an angel of light. He is deceptively beautiful. He lays a trap with flattery and sweet words. But remember that the Truth does not lead to confusion. Seek the truth and you will find peace.
While I still may have more to say in the future regarding my involvement with Kimkins; it is time for me to continue my journey. I will not be held captive, I will move on and grow.
This is my husband, Brian, and I at his best friends wedding last week.
It has been 6 months now. 6 months since I called goal. And yes... I am still maintaining. :) My weight has only fluctuated a little here and there which is normal but I am steady which is such a relief to me.
I do want to address a concern that many have had in reviewing my maintenance journals that were out there for a while. I removed them not because I had something to hide, but because it was confusing many. I know there were days and times that it looked like I would starve myself again but this really is not the case. I am one of the world's WORST journalers. I will admit that while on KK I did not eat much. Many times very little and dangerous low. This is why it took much longer for me to get comfortable with my maintenance routine. I had to increase my calories VERY slowly kind of in a healing process for my body. But I am not binge and crash dieting like I have heard speculating in some circles. I am consistently eating around 1400-1600 calories a day now which I am very comfortable with. My carbs are usually around 80 or so. Most of them come from fruit, the occasional natural Peanut Butter or almonds ;) and some various whole grain/brown foods. I eat a LOT more dairy now (love cheese!)and my DH jokes w/ me and my kids that I'm going to turn into a salad one day. I exercise (running again!) and feel wonderful.
Learning to eat a low carb maintenance took time... but I determined when I started that I WOULD NOT PANIC if I saw the scale rising. It's just time to re-adjust my strategy... I'll back off on the carbs a little (specifically on the grains)and step up the exercise and water a bit. This strategy has seemed to work very well for me so far. With the holidays coming we shall see, but I'm so confident in my new life now that I know God will give me the strength to know exactly how much is enough and when to say stop. And that my friends... is amazing.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
for HIS names sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear NO EVIL.
For YOU are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
If you are struggling no matter where you are. Find peace. God said that He has not given us a Spirit of Fear. Where there is confusion and turmoil, there is no peace. Where there are lies and deception there is no peace. It is only within the truth that we find that calm an peace. I want my friends to hear me. Those of you still behind the wall and those who have left, know that God gives incredible peace and comfort to those who seek Him. Look to Him for your answers.
I also want to say this. Remember that the enemy masquerades as an angel of light. He is deceptively beautiful. He lays a trap with flattery and sweet words. But remember that the Truth does not lead to confusion. Seek the truth and you will find peace.
While I still may have more to say in the future regarding my involvement with Kimkins; it is time for me to continue my journey. I will not be held captive, I will move on and grow.
This is my husband, Brian, and I at his best friends wedding last week.
It has been 6 months now. 6 months since I called goal. And yes... I am still maintaining. :) My weight has only fluctuated a little here and there which is normal but I am steady which is such a relief to me.
I do want to address a concern that many have had in reviewing my maintenance journals that were out there for a while. I removed them not because I had something to hide, but because it was confusing many. I know there were days and times that it looked like I would starve myself again but this really is not the case. I am one of the world's WORST journalers. I will admit that while on KK I did not eat much. Many times very little and dangerous low. This is why it took much longer for me to get comfortable with my maintenance routine. I had to increase my calories VERY slowly kind of in a healing process for my body. But I am not binge and crash dieting like I have heard speculating in some circles. I am consistently eating around 1400-1600 calories a day now which I am very comfortable with. My carbs are usually around 80 or so. Most of them come from fruit, the occasional natural Peanut Butter or almonds ;) and some various whole grain/brown foods. I eat a LOT more dairy now (love cheese!)and my DH jokes w/ me and my kids that I'm going to turn into a salad one day. I exercise (running again!) and feel wonderful.
Learning to eat a low carb maintenance took time... but I determined when I started that I WOULD NOT PANIC if I saw the scale rising. It's just time to re-adjust my strategy... I'll back off on the carbs a little (specifically on the grains)and step up the exercise and water a bit. This strategy has seemed to work very well for me so far. With the holidays coming we shall see, but I'm so confident in my new life now that I know God will give me the strength to know exactly how much is enough and when to say stop. And that my friends... is amazing.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Questions and confusion
This post has taken me a while to come to. I feel though in order to confirm and support the things that my friends and I have all been witness to, I must. I have received many many questions from friends and those who are seeking wondering if I feel that they should continue with the Kimkins program or if they are safe in pursuing that lifestyle. I want to re-iterate, I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. I have only shared from my own experience and research. This entire situation has begun me thinking, however, that perhaps a certification in nutrition would be prudent for me to obtain so that I can continue on this journey with a bit more knowledge and expertise. With that said though, I want to share with all of you my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program simply based on my own experience and research thus far. I know there are and will be more, as I feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.
1)The Kimkins stand regarding laxatives is: “One full dose the first day, and then a reduced 25%-50% dose every day afterwards to maintain regularity.” All studies that I have found indicate that while continued dosing of a mild laxative is not necessarily addicting to some, it can be very detrimental to others causing the large intestine to become dependent on the herbs or laxative in order to contract and function properly. I asked to be pointed to the research and medical documentation that demonstrated otherwise. This would be separate from those who have been prescribed laxatives by their doctors for other reasons, but for the general public.
***On the laxative note. This is predominately necessary in the Kimmer Experiment portion of the program (Stillman’s). However, Dr Stillman’s notes say to increase vitamin C as a first option and Milk of Magnesia as a second, but not on a regular basis. See note on water below***
2)After researching the Atkins 72 and Stillman’s Quick Weight Loss Method plans, which are openly sited as being the basis for Kimkins, I saw a few staunch differences which I wanted to clarify. The claim is, that this program is safe because it was based on both of those plans written by doctors. However, it also contains Kimmer’s “tweaks.”
a.Fat is cut because of the calories. I wondered though about the dairy. All the foods listed within the program do contain many of the vitamin and mineral’s our bodies needs. However, the majority of Kimkins members are not eating enough of any of these things to obtain the amount of minerals especially that they need. I was concerned that the things that have been cut because of the fear of fat could be detrimental in the long run. Like I described in a previous post, Dr Atkins said “be shockingly un-afraid of fat” which I can see not being good on one hand… but it would be just as much of an opposite extreme to “be shockingly AFRAID of fat.”
b.Both programs push fluid intake. Stillman’s says 8 glasses of water a day and Atkin’s says as much water as thirst requires. Kimmer does not like to drink water, I don’t prefer it either, but I did try to get at least 40-60oz of water plus whatever calorie free beverage I chose during my journey and even now. The reason that Stillman required water on his program because he knew the strain that a high protein diet would have on the kidneys and therefore demanded the water to keep them flushed. Dr Atkins 72 plan encouraged the use of liquids but it was not required due to the higher veggie content, but even at that higher carb veggies (such as pumpkin and fruit like rhubarb) and good fats (avocado) were added to his program in the second week. The benefits of increased clear fluid intake are shown over and over, including assistance with regularity, so why is it not encouraged more?
c. I did see in one area where the Stillman’s program also gave this disclaimer: “This is a severe form of ketogenic diet. It is not easily sustainable for the long term. It may be useful in breaking plateaus and in those too impatient to allow their bodies to take the fat off gradually at its own pace.” But it does not say (at least where I could find it) that it can be done indefinitely w/o some risks.
d. My concern regarding both is this. Kimkins is a modified version of both of these diets combined, removing some things and adding others. The reasoning behind why Kimkins is so safe is because it was essentially “created” by 2 doctors so it is still “doctor approved.” BUT, Just as Kimmer says don’t modify Kimkins otherwise it’s not the same program. The same go for these two programs as well. So in essence, by modifying Atkins 72 and Stillman’s to be Kimkins you really no longer have a “Doctor approved” program because you have removed the things that they viewed as essential for their diet.
e. Kimmer claimed to me to have written a bariatric clinic to obtain a Doctor’s approval and review of the program. I requested a copy of the letters she had written.
3)I did lose on this program and seemingly have “thrived” in my results, aside from the side effects I experienced which I have already addressed. I am concerned that this is not as much of a “cookie cutter” program as Kimmer and others would like to believe. I am young, moderately good health before I began, and quite resilient. My body can hopefully take things ok with “minimal” side effects (not discounting however, that my calories were too low and I would much rather people follow their dietary program safely and not enter the danger zone that I did). However, my structure and nutritional needs are very different than someone who is 60, 70, or 13. I am in the prime of my life, and so eating this restricted, while maybe not the healthiest thing for our bodies, I reasoned that it’s better than obesity. I do have many concerns now though. Especially the older and younger members have some very different needs and promising that “you will lose no matter what” may be true to an extent, I cannot any longer condone recommending to anyone to cut out some things that they specifically may need for their bodies. At that point, it’s NOT just a matter of calories and math… you do have to take into consideration the vital nutrients and how much of each thing on this program they would have to consume to get those nutrients.
4)It was a well known fact that Kimmer had been accused of soliciting to teens. At first, I did not believe this accusation, and when Jimmy asked her about this directly she stated that she would never recommend this program for teens. I have always stated that too, as has my friend Deni. When we had our initial “Controversy” email session that was disclosed by Becky between Kimmer and moderators, it was brought up that a 13 year old had been in the chat room. Kimmer stated, “A 13 year old in chat? No way! Not OK ever. Please all/any of you let me know so I can talk to the account holder and tell them "nicely" about no kids and probably refund/cancel.” I needed to know then, why when one member out openly displaying her age as 14, and Deni and I were both trying to push her to talk to her mom and doctor, and reconsider what she was eating, did Kimmer come in and not only encourage her that her low cals were ok, but did not back us up in the need to talk to her doctor and mother? I did not understand why it suddenly was not important “whether you are 14 or 84” to have different diets. Nutritional needs at both those ages are very different, and it’s not just a matter of extra fat calories hanging on. Why was this teen not encouraged as well that this was not the place for her and “nicely” asked to leave?
5)I now had several questions regarding confusion surrounding Kimmer’s identity. Kimmer has told me things about herself at various times that are confusing and conflicting.
a.She speaks quite often about her sister and her use of Kimkins. She also told me that the picture in the red dress is in fact her. However, she also told me that not even her sister knows that she is Kimmer. How can this be? Would’t she see her picture on the site and put two and two together?
b. When I have called various times to speak with Kimmer, I have spoken with several other members of her household. One claimed to be her sister and another Brandon, and also one other unknown male. Each time, I have asked for “Heidi” and they have given the phone to her or told me she was not available. Months ago, Kimmer told me in one of our discussions “If you call me Heidi I might not know who you’re talking to,” insinuating that she is NOT Heidi. But, in that same conversation she also told me that calling her “Heidi” would keep her grounded and help remind her of where she came from. She reminisced to me also about when she was class mom for her boys and they called her “Ms Heidi.” However, she is now claiming that is not her name. I have a problem with this.
c. Kimmer speaks freely about Brandon and her involvement with him. However, the only reference ever throughout any business dealings and in records is for “Brandon Diaz.” If she is not Heidi Diaz, did he legally change his last name to coordinate with the name that she is operating under?
d. According to public records, “Heidi Diaz” birthday is in May. On that date, “her birthday,” this year, we made a fairly big “to do” about it being her birthday within the forum in which she accepted congratulations and spoke of how much she enjoyed celebrating her birthday. Was this not accurate? Did we have a “ghost” birthday celebration?
e. Kimmer has repeatedly allowed me to continue call and represent her as “Heidi.” I unknowingly participated in a deception that I am not comfortable with. And once again, I feel I owe my readers and friends an apology for this as well.
f. MULTIPLE times Kimmer informed me that she is the only one who handles the money. She doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. This is confusing to me if she is not Heidi, as the instructions for sending a check/money order state to make them out to “Heidi Diaz / Kimkins.”
6)I was concerned lastly regarding the future of Kimkins if Kimmer continued to conceal her identity. Kimmer has stated over and over that she is a very private person and does not want any recognition. However, I also know that as this program continues to grow, the question of “Who Is Kimmer” will not only exponentially get louder, but it will become more and more difficult for her to remain a hidden person without people writing the program off as a farce and a joke at best and an internet scam and criminal fraud at worst. If there is to be credibility behind the program then people need to know the credibility behind the founder. I believe that it is time for Kimmer to come out of hiding.
These are just some of my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer. After asking these questions as it pertained to my job as the Public Relations director for the Kimkins program, instead of forthrightly answering my questions, Kimmer’s immediate response (within 30 minutes) was to terminate my position as the PR director and offer a smaller position as head moderator which I refused. I explained to her that if I would not be allowed to ask questions for my job, and operate with integrity and a clear conscience, then I would not be able to participate within Kimkins as it was and asked to be removed as a moderator. Within the next few minutes I was banned from Kimkins.com.
I hope that by posting this that the facts may be taken for what they are, and I wish very much that Kimmer would simply come forward and answer me honestly. It hurt me terribly to have to do what I did. I cannot begin to express how much the support and encouragement that I received this last week has meant to me. I want to end with a passage from the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 4 vs 5.
I feel now that the Lord is bringing much to light that I had been blind to previously. I only pray that throughout this entire situation God will allow only the truth to prevail and that all other "things" fall to the wayside.
1)The Kimkins stand regarding laxatives is: “One full dose the first day, and then a reduced 25%-50% dose every day afterwards to maintain regularity.” All studies that I have found indicate that while continued dosing of a mild laxative is not necessarily addicting to some, it can be very detrimental to others causing the large intestine to become dependent on the herbs or laxative in order to contract and function properly. I asked to be pointed to the research and medical documentation that demonstrated otherwise. This would be separate from those who have been prescribed laxatives by their doctors for other reasons, but for the general public.
***On the laxative note. This is predominately necessary in the Kimmer Experiment portion of the program (Stillman’s). However, Dr Stillman’s notes say to increase vitamin C as a first option and Milk of Magnesia as a second, but not on a regular basis. See note on water below***
2)After researching the Atkins 72 and Stillman’s Quick Weight Loss Method plans, which are openly sited as being the basis for Kimkins, I saw a few staunch differences which I wanted to clarify. The claim is, that this program is safe because it was based on both of those plans written by doctors. However, it also contains Kimmer’s “tweaks.”
a.Fat is cut because of the calories. I wondered though about the dairy. All the foods listed within the program do contain many of the vitamin and mineral’s our bodies needs. However, the majority of Kimkins members are not eating enough of any of these things to obtain the amount of minerals especially that they need. I was concerned that the things that have been cut because of the fear of fat could be detrimental in the long run. Like I described in a previous post, Dr Atkins said “be shockingly un-afraid of fat” which I can see not being good on one hand… but it would be just as much of an opposite extreme to “be shockingly AFRAID of fat.”
b.Both programs push fluid intake. Stillman’s says 8 glasses of water a day and Atkin’s says as much water as thirst requires. Kimmer does not like to drink water, I don’t prefer it either, but I did try to get at least 40-60oz of water plus whatever calorie free beverage I chose during my journey and even now. The reason that Stillman required water on his program because he knew the strain that a high protein diet would have on the kidneys and therefore demanded the water to keep them flushed. Dr Atkins 72 plan encouraged the use of liquids but it was not required due to the higher veggie content, but even at that higher carb veggies (such as pumpkin and fruit like rhubarb) and good fats (avocado) were added to his program in the second week. The benefits of increased clear fluid intake are shown over and over, including assistance with regularity, so why is it not encouraged more?
c. I did see in one area where the Stillman’s program also gave this disclaimer: “This is a severe form of ketogenic diet. It is not easily sustainable for the long term. It may be useful in breaking plateaus and in those too impatient to allow their bodies to take the fat off gradually at its own pace.” But it does not say (at least where I could find it) that it can be done indefinitely w/o some risks.
d. My concern regarding both is this. Kimkins is a modified version of both of these diets combined, removing some things and adding others. The reasoning behind why Kimkins is so safe is because it was essentially “created” by 2 doctors so it is still “doctor approved.” BUT, Just as Kimmer says don’t modify Kimkins otherwise it’s not the same program. The same go for these two programs as well. So in essence, by modifying Atkins 72 and Stillman’s to be Kimkins you really no longer have a “Doctor approved” program because you have removed the things that they viewed as essential for their diet.
e. Kimmer claimed to me to have written a bariatric clinic to obtain a Doctor’s approval and review of the program. I requested a copy of the letters she had written.
3)I did lose on this program and seemingly have “thrived” in my results, aside from the side effects I experienced which I have already addressed. I am concerned that this is not as much of a “cookie cutter” program as Kimmer and others would like to believe. I am young, moderately good health before I began, and quite resilient. My body can hopefully take things ok with “minimal” side effects (not discounting however, that my calories were too low and I would much rather people follow their dietary program safely and not enter the danger zone that I did). However, my structure and nutritional needs are very different than someone who is 60, 70, or 13. I am in the prime of my life, and so eating this restricted, while maybe not the healthiest thing for our bodies, I reasoned that it’s better than obesity. I do have many concerns now though. Especially the older and younger members have some very different needs and promising that “you will lose no matter what” may be true to an extent, I cannot any longer condone recommending to anyone to cut out some things that they specifically may need for their bodies. At that point, it’s NOT just a matter of calories and math… you do have to take into consideration the vital nutrients and how much of each thing on this program they would have to consume to get those nutrients.
4)It was a well known fact that Kimmer had been accused of soliciting to teens. At first, I did not believe this accusation, and when Jimmy asked her about this directly she stated that she would never recommend this program for teens. I have always stated that too, as has my friend Deni. When we had our initial “Controversy” email session that was disclosed by Becky between Kimmer and moderators, it was brought up that a 13 year old had been in the chat room. Kimmer stated, “A 13 year old in chat? No way! Not OK ever. Please all/any of you let me know so I can talk to the account holder and tell them "nicely" about no kids and probably refund/cancel.” I needed to know then, why when one member out openly displaying her age as 14, and Deni and I were both trying to push her to talk to her mom and doctor, and reconsider what she was eating, did Kimmer come in and not only encourage her that her low cals were ok, but did not back us up in the need to talk to her doctor and mother? I did not understand why it suddenly was not important “whether you are 14 or 84” to have different diets. Nutritional needs at both those ages are very different, and it’s not just a matter of extra fat calories hanging on. Why was this teen not encouraged as well that this was not the place for her and “nicely” asked to leave?
5)I now had several questions regarding confusion surrounding Kimmer’s identity. Kimmer has told me things about herself at various times that are confusing and conflicting.
a.She speaks quite often about her sister and her use of Kimkins. She also told me that the picture in the red dress is in fact her. However, she also told me that not even her sister knows that she is Kimmer. How can this be? Would’t she see her picture on the site and put two and two together?
b. When I have called various times to speak with Kimmer, I have spoken with several other members of her household. One claimed to be her sister and another Brandon, and also one other unknown male. Each time, I have asked for “Heidi” and they have given the phone to her or told me she was not available. Months ago, Kimmer told me in one of our discussions “If you call me Heidi I might not know who you’re talking to,” insinuating that she is NOT Heidi. But, in that same conversation she also told me that calling her “Heidi” would keep her grounded and help remind her of where she came from. She reminisced to me also about when she was class mom for her boys and they called her “Ms Heidi.” However, she is now claiming that is not her name. I have a problem with this.
c. Kimmer speaks freely about Brandon and her involvement with him. However, the only reference ever throughout any business dealings and in records is for “Brandon Diaz.” If she is not Heidi Diaz, did he legally change his last name to coordinate with the name that she is operating under?
d. According to public records, “Heidi Diaz” birthday is in May. On that date, “her birthday,” this year, we made a fairly big “to do” about it being her birthday within the forum in which she accepted congratulations and spoke of how much she enjoyed celebrating her birthday. Was this not accurate? Did we have a “ghost” birthday celebration?
e. Kimmer has repeatedly allowed me to continue call and represent her as “Heidi.” I unknowingly participated in a deception that I am not comfortable with. And once again, I feel I owe my readers and friends an apology for this as well.
f. MULTIPLE times Kimmer informed me that she is the only one who handles the money. She doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. This is confusing to me if she is not Heidi, as the instructions for sending a check/money order state to make them out to “Heidi Diaz / Kimkins.”
6)I was concerned lastly regarding the future of Kimkins if Kimmer continued to conceal her identity. Kimmer has stated over and over that she is a very private person and does not want any recognition. However, I also know that as this program continues to grow, the question of “Who Is Kimmer” will not only exponentially get louder, but it will become more and more difficult for her to remain a hidden person without people writing the program off as a farce and a joke at best and an internet scam and criminal fraud at worst. If there is to be credibility behind the program then people need to know the credibility behind the founder. I believe that it is time for Kimmer to come out of hiding.
These are just some of my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer. After asking these questions as it pertained to my job as the Public Relations director for the Kimkins program, instead of forthrightly answering my questions, Kimmer’s immediate response (within 30 minutes) was to terminate my position as the PR director and offer a smaller position as head moderator which I refused. I explained to her that if I would not be allowed to ask questions for my job, and operate with integrity and a clear conscience, then I would not be able to participate within Kimkins as it was and asked to be removed as a moderator. Within the next few minutes I was banned from Kimkins.com.
I hope that by posting this that the facts may be taken for what they are, and I wish very much that Kimmer would simply come forward and answer me honestly. It hurt me terribly to have to do what I did. I cannot begin to express how much the support and encouragement that I received this last week has meant to me. I want to end with a passage from the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 4 vs 5.
Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.
I feel now that the Lord is bringing much to light that I had been blind to previously. I only pray that throughout this entire situation God will allow only the truth to prevail and that all other "things" fall to the wayside.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Why???
I am astounded at the peace and clarity that comes from distance. As I step back and look over the events of this last year I am reminded of something that my mother used to tell me constantly. "Hindsight is 20/20." Life is full of "shoulda, coulda, woulda's," and it is what we do with those things in moving forward that determines our character and our ability to learn from our mistakes. The following question was asked on my friend Becky's blog and I feel that it would be helpful to all those who have been following me and my friends in our on-going involvement in this saga if I answer it here on my own journey blog.
"But I was focused on my own success and never considered that others would take the plan to the extreme. I have read Christin's blog and accept that she is sorry for her part in the deception.. what I can't understand is, if she had medical problems as a result of the diet, why did she accept the offer from WW and why did she later accept the position as PR Director? 20,000 members looked to her success and trusted her advice. But I suppose I should direct those questions to Christin."
I appreciate your acceptance of my apology. Your first statement there says a lot about my own journey as well. I guess Kimmer was right in one thing when she called me "naive." Yes, I was naive. I had never low carb dieted before Kimkins. I accepted what I thought was a solid plan. I did not know until I began working with Kimmer that there was no doctor's approval for the program. I had assumed that because it was a published program that I paid money for it had to be legit right? I know better now.... I'm not so naive anymore.
In regard to my health issues that I encountered... honestly, I again accepted them at the time as minor issues that would correct themselves in time. When WW called, I had only just reached my goal of 100 pounds lost. I was the latest success story. I was thrilled as you can imagine anyone would be at finally FINALLY being "normal." Those of you who have struggled for years and years with your weight know what a rush that can be. At that time, my hair issue had just begun, and it had been explained to me as "normal." Same with my menses. When we lose fat we lose estrogen, therefore our bodies have to "regroup." I explained it away to myself too.
I accepted the PR position because I still believed in the program. I still do - as a base. After researching extensively on the programs which Kimkins was based on (Atkins 72 and Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Program), I learned quite a few differences, classified as Kimmer "tweaks." These tweaks were addressed in my questions to Kimmer, as I began to realize that there were specific medical reasons that both of these doctors included things in their programs. I do still agree with the concept of a low carb/lean protein program. But notice the emphasis on LOW carb, not NO carb.
The basic Stillman's plan does incorporate even fruit and dairy, and Dr Atkins included other healthy veggie carbs too. Both plans emphasise the importance of hydration and water. While the basis for Kimkins tweaks centered around a disagreement with Dr Atkins theory of "Be shockingly UNafraid of fat," I believe there is an opposite extreme as well for people to "be shockingly AFRAID of fat."
You are right and it a tremendous weight on me to know of the thousands, well millions, of people saw my face and read my testimony. Thousands joined because of my story. They trust me and look up to me. This is almost overwhelming to me. I am just a mom.... just a mom from a little town in Texas. It was, and still is my desire to help those who are hurting. Why did I accept the offer from WW and the PR position? To help. To give hope. To let those who are hurting and struggling know that they don't have to live like that.
What does this to me now? I'd still like to hope that I am helping. Woman's World didn't just show people a plan... it showed them me. I want to encourage you and the rest of my readers in this. I am still here. I did lose the weight and I am still maintaining it. Let my loss inspire you, not just the way I did it. There is no one magic cure-all for obesity. If there was, we would all be skinny and not have the need for inspiration and encouragement. I am here because I understand the pain. I understand and will continue to blog and email and do whatever I can to help anyone achieve their goals no matter what program they chose to follow. All I ask is that you do it safely. Like I said over and over within the Kimkins forums. Learn to listen to your body... but not just where food is concerned as well. Pay attention to other physical cues that your body may be giving you. I should have listened to mine, and fortunately my side effects that came about were easily corrected. But each person is different. That is why there is no "cookie cutter" program. Each person will tweak and embellish to their own body's needs.
I've probably said a lot more here than you wanted to know... but this is me. This is who I am. Did I answer your question?
"But I was focused on my own success and never considered that others would take the plan to the extreme. I have read Christin's blog and accept that she is sorry for her part in the deception.. what I can't understand is, if she had medical problems as a result of the diet, why did she accept the offer from WW and why did she later accept the position as PR Director? 20,000 members looked to her success and trusted her advice. But I suppose I should direct those questions to Christin."
I appreciate your acceptance of my apology. Your first statement there says a lot about my own journey as well. I guess Kimmer was right in one thing when she called me "naive." Yes, I was naive. I had never low carb dieted before Kimkins. I accepted what I thought was a solid plan. I did not know until I began working with Kimmer that there was no doctor's approval for the program. I had assumed that because it was a published program that I paid money for it had to be legit right? I know better now.... I'm not so naive anymore.
In regard to my health issues that I encountered... honestly, I again accepted them at the time as minor issues that would correct themselves in time. When WW called, I had only just reached my goal of 100 pounds lost. I was the latest success story. I was thrilled as you can imagine anyone would be at finally FINALLY being "normal." Those of you who have struggled for years and years with your weight know what a rush that can be. At that time, my hair issue had just begun, and it had been explained to me as "normal." Same with my menses. When we lose fat we lose estrogen, therefore our bodies have to "regroup." I explained it away to myself too.
I accepted the PR position because I still believed in the program. I still do - as a base. After researching extensively on the programs which Kimkins was based on (Atkins 72 and Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Program), I learned quite a few differences, classified as Kimmer "tweaks." These tweaks were addressed in my questions to Kimmer, as I began to realize that there were specific medical reasons that both of these doctors included things in their programs. I do still agree with the concept of a low carb/lean protein program. But notice the emphasis on LOW carb, not NO carb.
The basic Stillman's plan does incorporate even fruit and dairy, and Dr Atkins included other healthy veggie carbs too. Both plans emphasise the importance of hydration and water. While the basis for Kimkins tweaks centered around a disagreement with Dr Atkins theory of "Be shockingly UNafraid of fat," I believe there is an opposite extreme as well for people to "be shockingly AFRAID of fat."
You are right and it a tremendous weight on me to know of the thousands, well millions, of people saw my face and read my testimony. Thousands joined because of my story. They trust me and look up to me. This is almost overwhelming to me. I am just a mom.... just a mom from a little town in Texas. It was, and still is my desire to help those who are hurting. Why did I accept the offer from WW and the PR position? To help. To give hope. To let those who are hurting and struggling know that they don't have to live like that.
What does this to me now? I'd still like to hope that I am helping. Woman's World didn't just show people a plan... it showed them me. I want to encourage you and the rest of my readers in this. I am still here. I did lose the weight and I am still maintaining it. Let my loss inspire you, not just the way I did it. There is no one magic cure-all for obesity. If there was, we would all be skinny and not have the need for inspiration and encouragement. I am here because I understand the pain. I understand and will continue to blog and email and do whatever I can to help anyone achieve their goals no matter what program they chose to follow. All I ask is that you do it safely. Like I said over and over within the Kimkins forums. Learn to listen to your body... but not just where food is concerned as well. Pay attention to other physical cues that your body may be giving you. I should have listened to mine, and fortunately my side effects that came about were easily corrected. But each person is different. That is why there is no "cookie cutter" program. Each person will tweak and embellish to their own body's needs.
I've probably said a lot more here than you wanted to know... but this is me. This is who I am. Did I answer your question?
Friday, September 7, 2007
The New Road
Today I begin again. I have been thinking quite a bit about all that has transpired in my life over the last few months, culminating in my decision to leave the Kimkins program at the beginning of this week. I know that I will be posting more soon about my decision and the things that led up to it, but for now, I am reminded of the poem by Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken:
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I am beginning my new journey; to inspire, encourage, support, and lift all those who share the same dreams and struggles as I. Weight loss and successful maintenance is ours for the taking. Won't you journey with me down this road less traveled? I'll be there with you.... hand in hand.... ready for the unknown. If we go together, we can overcome.
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