I have never thought about or realized the draw that finding a weight loss method that “works” has. Of course anyone would follow a plan that was guaranteed to work. They’d be crazy not to. But… what if that plan was unknowingly dangerous, or even life threatening? What if following that plan led to an addiction? What if following the plan brought on a whole new set of problems?
This is my reality. In the aftermath of my accident and all that has occurred since that time… and after a year of maintaining my weight loss with Kimkins, my reality is harsh (for me). I know that maintaining after losing a great deal of weight is not easy by any means. However, after following a Very Low Calorie program like Kimkins, having a “normal” maintenance life is exponentially more difficult.
After Kimkins, I made it my goal to learn how to eat and be healthy. I enrolled in school and have begun my newest journey towards obtaining a degree in Nutrition and Kinesiology. But, even in all I’m learning, why does Kimkins still have an allure to me? Simple… it worked to get the weight off. It was a fix. There was an uncanny high that came from feeling that sense of control and seeing the scale drop every day. Even within the forums of Kimkins there was a glossy magnetism about it. It was a happy place where everything was encouraging and everyone was your friend. But, that addicting appeal was seductive, it was a Turkish Delight. In the sweet comfort lay something far more sinister than the appearance it put off.
Within the confines of my little weight loss world, and my adherence to the Kimkins plan, something grew. I developed a full blown eating disorder. Coming out of that program, I was even more shocked to learn that I was not the only one either. Had this “solution” to my weight problems actually given me a whole new predicament to deal with?
I’ve kept most of my weight off for over a year now, true…. However, with time, as with most things, some has begun to creep back on. For this reason, I now am facing the reality of a) get this under control, or b) go back to the way I was. Option B is not an option.
I have often thought about the draw to that way of eating in similarity to recovering from a drug addiction. If you go back to it, the first hits give instant relief and “comfort.” You think… I control this, it doesn’t control me. However, the longer it continues; the reality is… that it does control you. You are trapped in a never-ending carrousel of recovery/getting a fix.
I would be kidding myself if I did not admit that the appeal and draw to go back to a Kimkins method of eating was not strong. But why would I do that to myself? The rational in my head says… it’s only 15 pounds… you’ll get that off real quick and then you can go back to eating right. But my heart knows better. I know that if I returned to that method of eating I would be caught in a vicious cycle of ALWAYS having to return to that in order to keep my weight under control. That is no way to live. I would much rather have one fixed way of healthfully eating that, combined with a regular exercise program, I know is good for me and will allow me to not only get my weight back under control, but provide me with a pure and simple strategy for lifelong fitness.
So what is my reality? My reality is that here I sit, facing the dreaded re-gain. However, I am also a VICTORIOUS recovering eating disorder addict. I WILL do what is best for my body…. And that is NOT Kimkins.
Showing posts with label eating disorders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eating disorders. Show all posts
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I was "Semi-Starving"
It is a well known and well published fact that Heidi Diaz of the Kimkins Diet does not believe in what the medical community deems "Starvation Mode." This was one of the topics that I addressed to her in the letter which resulted in my termination. Although there is plenty within the scientific community to prove and explain this phenomenon, Heidi has always held to that these beliefs were falsehoods and that "she didn't buy into it."
Here is just some of what she claims to believe (taken from conversation with Kimkins Admins, August 1, 2007):
Heidi would also regularly compare victims in concentration camps surviving on 300-600 calories or less a day. What she failed to acknowledge in this analogy was that most of those prisoners DIED. Many due to starvation. It was because of those horrible restrictions that the Geneva Convention specifically addressed the treatment of POW's and their dietary needs.
I have often compared the symptoms that many people have experienced utilizing the low calories that NATURALLY come by using the Kimkins program, to the side effects experienced by anorexics. I have seen bits and pieces of the scientific studies on this, however none more concise than those found in a study recently provided to me by a reader here on my blog.
"Sixboymom said:
Christin, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm sixboymom from the kimkins site. Anyway, I read this article yesterday, and it explained to me what I went through after starting Kimkins the first time. I never got as bad as the sever cases, but I did develop MANY of the symptoms. I wanted to pass along for other Kimkins survivors to see.
The Effects of Semi-Starvation"
This study, performed on men, consisted of restricting their calories to HALF of what they were accustomed to eating. If these participants were eating according to average consumption for men, that would be approximately 3000 calories. Half would then be about 1500 calories for the purposes of a SEMI-STARVATION study. This is more than DOUBLE what the average person on a strict Kimkins diet is eating.
Many of these symptoms I experienced and didn't even realize that it was due to my eating habits. For example:
The list goes on. I would encourage you to take a few minutes to read this article as it is very informative. Thank you Sixboymom, yes, I do remember you. I hope that your health has turned around and that you are improving now. Heidi, I ask you again, please show me the proof that Starvation Mode does not exist. I would wager that you will be hard pressed to find it.
Here is just some of what she claims to believe (taken from conversation with Kimkins Admins, August 1, 2007):
"We are low calorie after ketosis kicks in or with the shake option, but those calories are identical to post-WLS patients (500 cal a day for months), original Optifast and Medifast (450-700 cal a day for months).
I don't think we can fight the "1200 calorie a day mentality". Some people cannot understand that your body takes the calories it needs from body fat if the calories you eat are too low to sustain current weight. If you need 2500 calories (250 lb person) and eat 500 (number picked for easy math), the other 2000 are taken from body fat....
I don't believe in starvation mode. I cannot and will not say anything about minimum calories. A grilled chicken breast and a 1 cup USDA serving of mixed greens is 200 calories. It just is. Adding fats or starches isn't "healthier" to up the calories."
Heidi would also regularly compare victims in concentration camps surviving on 300-600 calories or less a day. What she failed to acknowledge in this analogy was that most of those prisoners DIED. Many due to starvation. It was because of those horrible restrictions that the Geneva Convention specifically addressed the treatment of POW's and their dietary needs.
I have often compared the symptoms that many people have experienced utilizing the low calories that NATURALLY come by using the Kimkins program, to the side effects experienced by anorexics. I have seen bits and pieces of the scientific studies on this, however none more concise than those found in a study recently provided to me by a reader here on my blog.
"Sixboymom said:
Christin, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm sixboymom from the kimkins site. Anyway, I read this article yesterday, and it explained to me what I went through after starting Kimkins the first time. I never got as bad as the sever cases, but I did develop MANY of the symptoms. I wanted to pass along for other Kimkins survivors to see.
The Effects of Semi-Starvation"
This study, performed on men, consisted of restricting their calories to HALF of what they were accustomed to eating. If these participants were eating according to average consumption for men, that would be approximately 3000 calories. Half would then be about 1500 calories for the purposes of a SEMI-STARVATION study. This is more than DOUBLE what the average person on a strict Kimkins diet is eating.
Many of these symptoms I experienced and didn't even realize that it was due to my eating habits. For example:
"One of the most of the striking changes that occurred in the volunteers was a dramatic increase in food preoccupations. The men found concentration on their usual activities increasingly difficult, because they became plagued by incessant thoughts of food and eating."
"...as well as corresponding declines in interest in sex and activity during semistarvation"
"They made what under normal conditions would be weird and distasteful concoctions," (This reminded me of the "weird" concoctions that I made while participating in the Egg White Challenge)
"Sexual interests were likewise drastically reduced....One subject graphically stated that he had 'no more sexual feeling than a sick oyster.'... The fact that starvation perceptibly altered sexual urges and associated conflicts is of particular interest, since it has been hypothesized that this process is the driving force behind the dieting of many anorexia nervosa patients."
"As the 6 months of semistarvation progressed, the volunteers exhibited many physical changes, including gastrointestinal discomfort; decreased need for sleep; dizziness; headaches; hypersensitivity to noise and light; reduced strength; poor motor control; edema (an excess of fluid causing swelling); hair loss; decreased tolerance for cold temperatures (cold hands and feet); visual disturbances (i.e., inability to focus, eye aches, "spots" in the visual fields); auditory disturbances (i.e., ringing noise in the ears); and paresthesias (i.e., abnormal tingling or prickling sensations, especially in the hands or feet"
The list goes on. I would encourage you to take a few minutes to read this article as it is very informative. Thank you Sixboymom, yes, I do remember you. I hope that your health has turned around and that you are improving now. Heidi, I ask you again, please show me the proof that Starvation Mode does not exist. I would wager that you will be hard pressed to find it.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Sensory Eating
This last week I had the distinct privledge of joining quite a few of my fellow low-carber's (many of which are former Kimkins members) on an incredible cruise to Cozumel, Mexico. We had an incredible time, and on Sunday morning got together for a short encouragement meeting. During this time together, I was asked to say a word. I feel like this speech is relevent for all those who are learning to eat and develop a "normal" lifestyle no matter what diet program you are utilizing.
When I began my journey I thought that my goal was to get thin and be “normal.” Kate Harding in The Shapely Prose said:
These were my perceptions. I did not realize at the beginning of my journey the transformation that would also need to change in my heart and head in order to begin a completely new relationship with food.
We has humans are created to experience life through our senses. We are find peace, tranquility, and comfort; as well as pain, sadness and chaos through the same input preceptors.
• Sight – We feel elation at the sight of a beautiful sunset. We are at peace when watching the ocean or a mountain vista. We also feel sadness and grief when we see turmoil and hardship. Our hearts ache for those we see wounded in a terrorist attack or struck by natural tragedy.
• Sound – We are inspired by a triumphant symphony and soothed by the sound of a peaceful brook or gentle waves breaking. By the same token, we feel the harshness of a jackhammer or screeching of grating metal.
• Smell – We place scented oils in our homes to create a tranquil atmosphere; roses, violet, vanilla, cinnamon and other soothing smells help to calm us and give us pleasant sensations. Who among us hasn’t turned their nose up, however, when passing a dead skunk or smelling burning rubber?
• Touch – A massage or soft sheets give us comfort. We go home at the end of a hard day and “get comfortable” by changing into looser less binding clothes. However, if there is a burr in those sheets, or your messus is untrained it can immediately turn those pleasurable incidents into harsh and painful experiences.
These above senses can either be used or abused respectively, however, in typical acceptable society for the most part; we utilize them for the appropriate uses that we were created to. The sense of TASTE is one in which I feel we, as an obese culture, have lost perspective on in recognizing the difference between savoring the pleasure of a decadent food, and over-indulging for the self-gratifying purpose of just experiencing “more.” Our civilization has become one of self-pleasure and self-service.
CS Lewis in his novel “Perelandra” wrote about a man who traveled to a distant planet and partook in consumption of a fruit that grew on a tree native to that planet. “It was like the discovery of a new genus of pleasures, something unheard of among men, out of all reckoning, beyond covenant. For one draught of this on earth wars would be fought and nations betrayed.” In experiencing this new pleasure this fruit bore him, the subject was almost overcome with the human urge to repeat the act immediately to experience the sensation again. He was then presented with a conflict and revelation; “Perhaps the experience had been so complete, that repetition would be a vulgarity…. This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards…”
Life cannot work backwards. We have forgotten the joy of appreciating the flavors that we are given in foods in hasty self-serving gluttony of wanting to experience the sensation again too quickly.
In this clip, Remy realizes that there is more to eating than just “horking” down his food. He discovers the unique flavors and learns a whole new appreciation for the culinary arts. A wine connoisseur does not gulp down his glass. He will take a little, and then anticipate and enjoy the other senses that accompany the taste. He smells it, swirls it in his glass, holds it in his mouth to experience all the flavors, and then moves on.
What would our lives be like if we captured each moment as an opportunity to make the absolute best of each situation? What would it do to our “dieting” experience if we transformed our thinking from I can’t have this or that… to I can have this? Then completely focus on the enjoyment of the food that you have selected.
The second part of this harmony is combining this new found excitement and enjoyment of food with anticipation and knowledge of what your body needs. Make peace with food. We need it to survive and have been given an incredible gift to enjoy our sustenance. We could have been created like other animals without taste buds and only the instinct to eat to survive. While that is still the primary purpose of eating, we are set apart from other animals with this ability.
Depravation is distinctly different than anticipation. What you keep in your house for daily consumption may be very different than what you have “boxed in” for others. One of my favorite desserts is carrot cake. My grocery store actually sells “individual” slices of cake that prior to losing my weight I was fond of purchasing. I no longer keep carrot cake around my home or chose to by those individual slices because I am aware of my own inability to maintain control when it is readily available. However, I have completely enjoyed the change of mentality when I allowed carrot cake to be one of my “special occasion” pleasures.
Several months ago, my husband and I attended a wedding rehearsal at which this particular cake was served as the dessert. I had a few bites of the cake and instead of “inhaling” the whole thing, I chose to chew very slowly and actually enjoy the flavor that it provided. I did not finish the entire piece because I did not need all of it to complete my enjoyment, however, I do look back with great pleasure at that incident, and I look forward with joy and anticipation to the next time.
Instead of saying that I CAN’T have a certain food, I say that I choose not to have it at this time, and find an alternative. I know what that carrot cake tastes like. The flavor will not change. It will still be carrot cake a week, 3 months, or a year from now. I can avoid the guilt of indulging in it regularly and instead turn that guilt into satisfaction and joy in knowing that I have anticipated and allowed myself the pleasure in due time.
Being fit is a journey with ups and downs, mountains and valleys. I have found that the journey is made much more enjoyable by learning to focus on the experience rather than attempting to “take it all in.” I learned that that “fantasy” of being thin was nothing more than an illusion that quickly dissipated and could have been very discouraging had my mindset towards wellness not shifted. We can be happy in our pursuit to a healthy weight by accepting the way we were made, and learning to distinguish between satisfaction and over-indulgence.
This has been a long year with more roller coasters and twists and turns then I could have ever anticipated. But, we are here. We are on the road to a better us. And, we have each-other to support, encourage, and push along the road. Thank you for sharing in my journey with me.
When I began my journey I thought that my goal was to get thin and be “normal.” Kate Harding in The Shapely Prose said:
“… the Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person – one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.” See also:
• When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage.
• When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted.
• When I’m thin, I won’t be depressed anymore.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be an adventurous world traveler instead of being freaked out by any country where I don’t speak the language and/or the plumbing is questionable.
• When I’m thin, I’ll become really outdoorsy.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be more extroverted and charismatic, and thus have more friends than I know what to do with. "
These were my perceptions. I did not realize at the beginning of my journey the transformation that would also need to change in my heart and head in order to begin a completely new relationship with food.
We has humans are created to experience life through our senses. We are find peace, tranquility, and comfort; as well as pain, sadness and chaos through the same input preceptors.
• Sight – We feel elation at the sight of a beautiful sunset. We are at peace when watching the ocean or a mountain vista. We also feel sadness and grief when we see turmoil and hardship. Our hearts ache for those we see wounded in a terrorist attack or struck by natural tragedy.
• Sound – We are inspired by a triumphant symphony and soothed by the sound of a peaceful brook or gentle waves breaking. By the same token, we feel the harshness of a jackhammer or screeching of grating metal.
• Smell – We place scented oils in our homes to create a tranquil atmosphere; roses, violet, vanilla, cinnamon and other soothing smells help to calm us and give us pleasant sensations. Who among us hasn’t turned their nose up, however, when passing a dead skunk or smelling burning rubber?
• Touch – A massage or soft sheets give us comfort. We go home at the end of a hard day and “get comfortable” by changing into looser less binding clothes. However, if there is a burr in those sheets, or your messus is untrained it can immediately turn those pleasurable incidents into harsh and painful experiences.
These above senses can either be used or abused respectively, however, in typical acceptable society for the most part; we utilize them for the appropriate uses that we were created to. The sense of TASTE is one in which I feel we, as an obese culture, have lost perspective on in recognizing the difference between savoring the pleasure of a decadent food, and over-indulging for the self-gratifying purpose of just experiencing “more.” Our civilization has become one of self-pleasure and self-service.
CS Lewis in his novel “Perelandra” wrote about a man who traveled to a distant planet and partook in consumption of a fruit that grew on a tree native to that planet. “It was like the discovery of a new genus of pleasures, something unheard of among men, out of all reckoning, beyond covenant. For one draught of this on earth wars would be fought and nations betrayed.” In experiencing this new pleasure this fruit bore him, the subject was almost overcome with the human urge to repeat the act immediately to experience the sensation again. He was then presented with a conflict and revelation; “Perhaps the experience had been so complete, that repetition would be a vulgarity…. This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards…”
Life cannot work backwards. We have forgotten the joy of appreciating the flavors that we are given in foods in hasty self-serving gluttony of wanting to experience the sensation again too quickly.
In this clip, Remy realizes that there is more to eating than just “horking” down his food. He discovers the unique flavors and learns a whole new appreciation for the culinary arts. A wine connoisseur does not gulp down his glass. He will take a little, and then anticipate and enjoy the other senses that accompany the taste. He smells it, swirls it in his glass, holds it in his mouth to experience all the flavors, and then moves on.
What would our lives be like if we captured each moment as an opportunity to make the absolute best of each situation? What would it do to our “dieting” experience if we transformed our thinking from I can’t have this or that… to I can have this? Then completely focus on the enjoyment of the food that you have selected.
The second part of this harmony is combining this new found excitement and enjoyment of food with anticipation and knowledge of what your body needs. Make peace with food. We need it to survive and have been given an incredible gift to enjoy our sustenance. We could have been created like other animals without taste buds and only the instinct to eat to survive. While that is still the primary purpose of eating, we are set apart from other animals with this ability.
Depravation is distinctly different than anticipation. What you keep in your house for daily consumption may be very different than what you have “boxed in” for others. One of my favorite desserts is carrot cake. My grocery store actually sells “individual” slices of cake that prior to losing my weight I was fond of purchasing. I no longer keep carrot cake around my home or chose to by those individual slices because I am aware of my own inability to maintain control when it is readily available. However, I have completely enjoyed the change of mentality when I allowed carrot cake to be one of my “special occasion” pleasures.
Several months ago, my husband and I attended a wedding rehearsal at which this particular cake was served as the dessert. I had a few bites of the cake and instead of “inhaling” the whole thing, I chose to chew very slowly and actually enjoy the flavor that it provided. I did not finish the entire piece because I did not need all of it to complete my enjoyment, however, I do look back with great pleasure at that incident, and I look forward with joy and anticipation to the next time.
Instead of saying that I CAN’T have a certain food, I say that I choose not to have it at this time, and find an alternative. I know what that carrot cake tastes like. The flavor will not change. It will still be carrot cake a week, 3 months, or a year from now. I can avoid the guilt of indulging in it regularly and instead turn that guilt into satisfaction and joy in knowing that I have anticipated and allowed myself the pleasure in due time.
Being fit is a journey with ups and downs, mountains and valleys. I have found that the journey is made much more enjoyable by learning to focus on the experience rather than attempting to “take it all in.” I learned that that “fantasy” of being thin was nothing more than an illusion that quickly dissipated and could have been very discouraging had my mindset towards wellness not shifted. We can be happy in our pursuit to a healthy weight by accepting the way we were made, and learning to distinguish between satisfaction and over-indulgence.
This has been a long year with more roller coasters and twists and turns then I could have ever anticipated. But, we are here. We are on the road to a better us. And, we have each-other to support, encourage, and push along the road. Thank you for sharing in my journey with me.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Why.... The Risks ARE Real.
Many times I am asked why I am continuing to spread the word about my fears regarding the Kimkins program and sharing what I feel are the very real and present dangers regarding the eating issues that can arise utilizing it as written. I want to share some of my motivation with you today. It is not often that I share photos of my family here in my blog, but these people are some of the most important people in the world to me.
This photo was taken about 2 and ½ hours prior to our accident on January 1 of this year. From my grandparents, to my parents, to all 5 of my siblings plus their spouses… these incredible people are why I do what I do. Standing by a loved one suffering is heartbreaking, no matter what precipitated it, but no family should have to endure watching a loved one endure the self-inflicted illnesses many Kimkins users have experienced. Each member of my family was worried about my emerging anorexia/bulimia. All expressed their concerns for my health and eating disordered methods and mentalities.
So why did I blog about Kimkins from my hospital room? Because I was overwhelmed with love, support and kindness from my family and those closest to me. I could imagine another family sitting in a similar hospital room watching their loved one suffer from a preventable eating disorder or a side effect from disordered type of behavior, and I felt that warnings must continue to be given.
If you have a loved one who is suffering, or if you have concerns or questions regarding the warning signs of these behaviors, please feel free to contact me through my blog or send me an email. I’d love to help however I can, whether through a listening ear, understanding shoulder, or caring hand.
This photo was taken about 2 and ½ hours prior to our accident on January 1 of this year. From my grandparents, to my parents, to all 5 of my siblings plus their spouses… these incredible people are why I do what I do. Standing by a loved one suffering is heartbreaking, no matter what precipitated it, but no family should have to endure watching a loved one endure the self-inflicted illnesses many Kimkins users have experienced. Each member of my family was worried about my emerging anorexia/bulimia. All expressed their concerns for my health and eating disordered methods and mentalities.
So why did I blog about Kimkins from my hospital room? Because I was overwhelmed with love, support and kindness from my family and those closest to me. I could imagine another family sitting in a similar hospital room watching their loved one suffer from a preventable eating disorder or a side effect from disordered type of behavior, and I felt that warnings must continue to be given.
If you have a loved one who is suffering, or if you have concerns or questions regarding the warning signs of these behaviors, please feel free to contact me through my blog or send me an email. I’d love to help however I can, whether through a listening ear, understanding shoulder, or caring hand.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Practical Problems
Thanksgiving is scary. For anyone who has struggled with their weight, whether just a few pounds up and down… or the drastic weight loss winners… it’s scary. We know what happens at this time of the year. Inhibitions are mysteriously released and we lose control over the stuffing, potatoes and apple pie. (For my European readers bear with me, I do have a point.)
I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.
The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.
Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?
Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.
The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.
What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.
As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.
As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.
As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.
EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.
I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.
The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.
Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?
Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.
The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.
What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.
As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.
As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.
As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.
EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
