Truth - Freedom or Bondage?

"The Truth will set you free..."

How many times have I heard this phrase? I often contemplate just what it means for me. Often, it means different things based simply on what emphasis you give it. The truth... the TRUTH... THE truth... WILL set you free... will set you FREE. It has meant a bit of all of these inflections to me over the last several months.

It has been a several months since I've been here blogging about weight loss, weight loss scams (and scammer), and life. Over the last few months I've had one more surgery on my knee, plus recovery and therapy time, I have been totally immersed in a very difficult semester in school, I've been working strenuously at two jobs... Not to mention making time for my own family and personal needs.

It is because of these last few months that I must embrase the following inflection of that initial phrase. "The TRUTH will set you free..." I am having a difficult time coming to grips with what my own truth is. The only reason I am publishing it here is because I must be held accountible. Not only to myself, but to all those who follow my blog as well. Since my most recent injury and surgury, my weight has become increasingly difficult to maintain and keep under control. I know that this is partially my fault due to my inability to excercise, compensations should be made in the way I was eating. But none-the-less, I did not. Therefore, over the last 7-8 months I have put on about 25 extra pounds. This has been very disheartening for me and has kept me feeling enslaved to maintaining a lie. But I believe that by putting this truth out here like this, MY TRUTH is now laid bare, and I am not allowing any false presuppositions of my weightloss/maintenance status to be upheld.

I am dilligently working on a HEALTHY plan now to reclaim those 25 pounds lost once again and am confident that patience and perseverance will prevail. My difficulty will be in wanting to get it off NOW. This philosophy was ingrained in my not only this fast paced society that we live in, but also my past experiences. Throughout my experience with the Kimkins program, one of the things that made it so attractive was the speed at which the weight did come off. Over these last few years since I have been away from that program however, I have learned the value of attaining something that you have not only worked hard for, but have waited for with patience. True sustainable weight loss comes at a hard price. It takes time. But it is through that time that you learn healthy new habits that are also sustainable which allow that weight loss to be permanent. Rapid weight loss is never (with a very RARE exception) permanent.

It is this discouragement and "need for rapid loss" mentality which I believe is sending people to return once again to the Kimkins program. Yes, they may be able to get off once again that which they initially lost. BUT, they will once again be caught in that dangerous cycle in which they will regain, and then back to Kimkins, and on and on it will go. There is a two fold danger in that cycle. Not only is constant yo-yo dieting very hard on your body, it can be seriously dangerous. It can be dangerous for your heart, liver, and other organs that are trying to cope with the never ending starvation/feasting roller coaster. Too much of that up and down, and the organs will wear out rapidly. Not only that, but according to other health studies, yo-yo dieting can drastically reduce natural immune system cells which not only target viruses, but also aid the body fighting against cancer cells.

We lose weight initially so we can look better and feel better about ourselves. But, the other issue that I have been faced with over these last several months is the emotional damage that regaining weight can bring. Emotionally and psychologically, I have a very difficult time with self-acceptance and self-worth. When you are in a constant struggle of up and down, gaining and losing, you will also have a psychological war waging within. "I love how I feel when I'm losing," "I hate myself for gaining." This is not healthy either. Health encompases all parts of our being, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states combined. This is what makes us unique. When one of those parts is out of balance, the rest will be too. Educate yourself on healthy, proven, maintainable eating strategies which will allow your loss to be much longer lasting. While I cannot guarentee that will improve your self-image, I'm certain that for myself, it can't hurt!

I meant to write tonight of the impact that the TRUTH has had on me over the last several months. Not only with my personal weight gain and epiphanies on sustainable loss strategies, but also in recent events within the Kimkins TRUTH vs DECEIT saga. I will have to get into that at another time, but let me leave you with this. The truth is evident to all. With the recent victory in claiming (once again) class certification in the lawsuit against the Kimkins fraud, it is apparent that regardless of excuses and attempts to cover-up and clean-up, the TRUTH speaks for itself.

So what do I do NOW????

I have completed the surgical portion of my accident recovery and things are going well! The experiences of this last year have been extremely enlightening to me. So much so that I have decided to take my newfound passion and inspiration to a new level. I will be returning to college shortly to obtain a degree in health and nutrition. I would encourage anyone who is following a diet plan with such restrictions as Kimkins supplies to consult their doctor or a nutrition specialist to determine the proper way to add foods back in and re-gain a healthy manner of eating. Don’t go anywhere folks... There is still a battle to be fought, and healthy eating habits to learn and regain. Let us press forward to a happier healthier lifestyle together!

Happy Anniversary!

A year has gone by. I still have a hard time believing it but, it's been an entire year that I have maintained my 100 pound weight loss. I have a mixed sense of emotions today as I think back over all that has happened this year. I am proud that I lost the weight of course, but not of the method in which I lost it. I am even prouder though that I have persevered and maintained my loss instead of giving up and giving in. I think I have learned more this last year than I have in the last 10 years. So without further ado, a humorous look at 10 things I've learned since leaving the Kimkins program.


Top 10 Things I’ve Learned Since Kimkins

10) Never trust a Russian Bride.

9) There are many ways to lose weight, starvation included, however not all methods come with a guarantee that you will retain your hair.

8) I did not get fat eating fruits and vegetables!

7) God has created a glorious rainbow of nutrition for me to partake in, and He intends for me to utilize it.

6) I can thoroughly enjoy eating healthfully using all 5 senses, and shift my focus from eating “because it’s there” to indulging in the satisfaction that nourishing my body provides.

5) There really are real people out there who do not lie about themselves or who they truly are, and they’re pretty darn nice too.

4) I must be more careful with my money.

3) Dizziness, nausea, and lightheadedness should NOT accompany NORMAL weight loss methods.

2) Food is to be savored with anticipation, not feared.

1) I am worth transforming my view of “me.” If I accept myself for who and what I am, I will only grow happier by treating myself right and losing/keeping weight off permanently for my own health and betterment.

Ready for the Holidays?

As I stated in a previous post, the holidays can be very difficult for all of us when it comes to learning to eat healthy. Please join me today as I join Connie Bennet, Author of "Sugar Shock!"; Jimmy Moore of Livin La Vida Low Carb; Laura Dolson from About.com Low Carb journalism; and Judy Barnes Baker - author of "Carb Wars: Sugar Is the New Fat" cookbook; to discuss surviving the holidays living a low carb, sugar free lifestyle.

The show will air live at 3:00 EST and can be found here:

Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show

If for some reason you miss the show, you can listen afterwards HERE.

Here is the link for the promotional write up the Connie has posted on her blog: Low-Carb Experts Help You Survive Sweet Holiday Temptations on the Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show Tomorrow

Practical Problems

Thanksgiving is scary. For anyone who has struggled with their weight, whether just a few pounds up and down… or the drastic weight loss winners… it’s scary. We know what happens at this time of the year. Inhibitions are mysteriously released and we lose control over the stuffing, potatoes and apple pie. (For my European readers bear with me, I do have a point.)

I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.

The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.

Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?

Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.

The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.

What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.

As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.

As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.

As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.

EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.

To Exercise or Not to Exercise... that is the question.

One of the selling points of the Kimkins program is that exercise is not necessary for weight loss. In fact, this quote from Kimmer shows the viewpoint of the program on a regular exercise routine:

"Did you know exercise doesn't work? Nope. I know you're shocked! It's the most common fallacy in the diet business -- work out and lose weight. Are they serious?


Check any exercise calculator. A 200 pound woman who walks 2 miles a day will only burn 175 calories! This means it will take 3 weeks of daily walking to lose only 1 pound!!! Just 1! Walking 2 miles every day!

Here's the math: 175 calories x 20 days = 3500 calories (1 pound)


This is why the Kimkins Diet is a weight loss Super Star! Kimkins is thermogenic. You burn more calories than regular "slow" diets -- and it works without exercise! It's true! Kimkins members typically lose 5% of their total body weight in the first 10 days! Wow!

It's your choice: Depend on exercise to lose 1-2 pounds in 30 days or pick thermogenic Kimkins and lose 10% of your total body weight in 30 days! Hmmm, I know what sounds better to me!"

I decided to check for myself just to make sure my numbers were right. If you're anything like me, you measure your walking/exercise most often by time, not distance. By the same calculations on Calorie Control.org, a 200lb person walking briskly for 45 minutes will burn actually 395.99 calories. This is equal to just under a pound a week (walking 6 days a week). However, I do not want to talk about just the weight loss benefits of exercise today. I have discovered the multitude of additional benefits that regular activity can give us, weight management aside.

On the Mayo Clinic website there are 7 additional reasons listed as to why regular exercise is valuable to our overall health transformation. After all... isn't that the goal of our journey? Health.

I learned along my path that the goal was not necessarily to lose weight. While that was one pleasant side effect. The true target was to achieve an outcome of better health. Losing weight was just step number 1. I realized that in order to obtain a lifetime of healthful living, I would have to do more than just temporarily change my way of eating. It was to be a life change. Not only would I have to switch my paradigm regarding the way I ate on a daily basis; another one of those life changes would have to be implementing a regular exercises routine.

The reason that most, if not all, doctors strongly recommend exercise as a part of a healthy diet program is because of the vast variety of health benefits that it provides. Active muscle burns fat at a much faster rate than an in-active muscle. When you are exercising and building your muscle mass, not only are you burning calories, but you are increasing your fat burning ability. Building those muscle's also gives you a natural endorphin release which helps to improve mood and psychological well-being as well. Ever notice how good you feel after a well done work out? So not only is it good for your body physically, it's good emotionally and psychologically.

Here is a list of some other very specific benefits to a proper exercise routine from the Nutristrategy website:

Specific Health Benefits of Exercise

Heart Disease and Stroke. Daily physical activity can help prevent heart disease and stroke by strengthening your heart muscle, lowering your blood pressure, raising your high-density lipoprotein (HDL) levels (good cholesterol) and lowering low-density lipoprotein (LDL) levels (bad cholesterol), improving blood flow, and increasing your heart's working capacity.

High Blood Pressure. Regular physical activity can reduce blood pressure in those with high blood pressure levels. Physical activity also reduces body fatness, which is associated with high blood pressure.

Noninsulin-Dependent Diabetes. By reducing body fatness, physical activity can help to prevent and control this type of diabetes.

Obesity. Physical activity helps to reduce body fat by building or preserving muscle mass and improving the body's ability to use calories. When physical activity is combined with proper nutrition, it can help control weight and prevent obesity, a major risk factor for many diseases.

Back Pain. By increasing muscle strength and endurance and improving flexibility and posture, regular exercise helps to prevent back pain.

Osteoporosis. Regular weight-bearing exercise promotes bone formation and may prevent many forms of bone loss associated with aging.

Psychological Effects. Regular physical activity can improve your mood and the way you feel about yourself. Researchers also have found that exercise is likely to reduce depression and anxiety and help you to better manage stress.

Millions of Americans suffer from illnesses that can be prevented or improved through regular physical activity.

• 13.5 million people have coronary heart disease.
• 1.5 million people suffer from a heart attack in a given year.
• 8 million people have adult-onset (non-insulin-dependent) diabetes.
• 95,000 people are newly diagnosed with colon cancer each year.
• 250,000 people suffer from a hip fractures each year.
• 50 million people have high blood pressure.
• Over 60 million people (a third of the population) are overweight.

Throughout my journey I have been asked if I had to exercise to get the weight off. I used to answer people that it wasn't necessary, but that I did just because I wanted to. I realize now that my idealism's were incorrect. Exercise is very important. When a program tells you that exercise is not necessary you are only harming yourself. While I understand that there are many people who do not enjoy exercise, I would have to ask... what is it that you don't like? What do you have to lose by at least giving it a try?

By taking control of your eating you are taking the first step in bringing your life into balance. The second is to implement a regular activity routine. It's a powerful cycle. When you exercise, you feel better, when you feel better, you want to eat better. You will not have to work as hard to control your weight, and you will start loving what you see in the mirror.

Renowned psychologist Dr Phil McGraw said in his book "The Ultimate Weight Solution:"

"You must ramp up your exercise effort so that your body is physiologically capable of losing weight and counteracting weight gain. When you do this, you maximize your weight loss and your ability to keep your weight off permanently.

The result, the ultimate outcome is that you can lay claim to most or all of the powerful and positive payoffs of exercise... and keep your weight off for good."

Should you be wary of a program that promises you do not have to exercise to better your health? Absolutely.

Why Do We Fail At Maintenance?

This question has been haunting me recently as I’ve passed my one year mark of living a low carb lifestyle. Statistics say that once you lose the weight, most people usually FAIL at keeping it off. Why? What is it that makes living a thin lifestyle for those of us who lived the majority of our lives overweight so difficult? Do we follow a program just to get the weight off or do we truly recognize the need and necessity even of shifting paradigms?

The first time I lost a significant amount of weight I got pregnant almost immediately. At that point, I for some reason thought that I could just go back to eating the way I had previously enjoyed myself. After all, it was for the baby right? The pounds began to pack back on, and this was multiplied when we ended up having complications with the pregnancy and losing that baby. But what happened to me mentally? I obviously had taken the mindset that I needed to lose the weight, but not to keep it off. Bad habits crept back in and before I knew it… not only had I gained it all back, but plus some.

I spent the next 2 years yo-yoing before conceiving again and with that (successful) pregnancy I gained over 70lbs! I knew I was overweight, but just wasn’t in “that place.” I always used the excuse “I could never give up my bread… potatoes… (insert your poison of choice here).” So obviously it wasn’t priority in my life at that point.

Slowly, things began to compile and the veil began to be lifted as I started seeing just what was going on in my own life that was hindering me making a real difference. What was it that was hindering me? Me.

I realized that I was serving me. “I want… I can’t give up…. I deserve…. I can’t pass on….” all about the “I.”

What happened when I started losing weight at lightning speed? My thought process shifted, but from one self serving “I” to another. “I want it off NOW.” Patience and self-control played second fiddle to my insatiable desire to go faster and faster. I was encouraged and spurred on with the hope and false information that this was perfect and a great way to lose. And I bought it! Totally! Never-mind what damaging effects I might have permanently been putting on my body. But one thing rang through….

My mom asked me shortly after I lost the weight if I had in actually traded one selfish ambition for another. Is this what had happened? Is this why we have such a hard time maintaining weight-loss to begin with? I suddenly realized that I had still not completely dealt with the heart issue.

I began my journey with good intentions. I wanted to make a better life for myself, my family, my health, and to honor my Lord with my body. But the road to destruction is often lined with good intentions. When the complements start flying that same self-centered thinking begins to creep back in. “If they like me now… just wait till they see me then…” I don’t think that anyone would deny that being on the cover of a magazine is pretty much the ultimate compliment that you can get when you’ve been losing weight. Especially for someone like me who has been overweight my entire life.

Since leaving the Kimkins program I have learned so much. God has blessed me with incredible friends and family who have supported me 100% in everything that I’ve done. One thing that I discovered however is that by not addressing the base line issue that I had forgotten why I decided to begin my journey in the first place. I chose to live the way that God intended me to live. I no longer face a self-serving attitude of more more more (or less as the case may be). I found that I needed to re-adjust my paradigm and realize that successful weight loss and maintenance was not about getting complements or feeling good about myself, while those are definite benefits and perks, they are not the goal. True maintenance begins in the heart.

By transferring my thinking to a goal of honoring God with my body and extending my life in a healthy way for my children and family, it is no longer about “I.” Food is for nourishment first and enjoyment second. At first, it seems like a tremendous paradox… if we didn’t enjoy food so much then we wouldn’t have a weight problem, but if the pleasure was taken out of eating, then we wouldn’t feel the need to nourish. We have taste-buds for a reason. It is a gift so that we can enjoy this aspect of life. But like other aspects it is a gift we seem to abuse.

By over-indulging we seem to counter-act the exact thing that God intended for us. I believe He would much rather us savor and completely enjoy the flavor of a strawberry, instead of smothering it in sugar and bleached flour and taking away from the nourishment and satisfaction that can come from a simple serving of the fruit. When we over-indulge, we desensitize ourselves and our taste-buds to the actual pleasure that can come from eating GOOD foods.

Ask anyone who has been eating healthfully for an extended period of time. Whole, healthy GOOD foods seem to take on an all new vibrancy. Why? Because we had become desensitized to the actual flavors of the foods themselves. I am constantly amazed at how good I feel and the pleasure that comes from eating well. I can now enjoy those moments of healthful eating with greater satisfaction than the food can give me; because I know that I am honoring God with my choices, and I am giving my children a much brighter future with a healthy and participating mother.

While I am still far from what I would call a complete success as far as the maintenance goes, I feel confident that this time it is for good. It’s been 7 months. This time, it will stick. This time, it’s not about me.

Questions and confusion

This post has taken me a while to come to. I feel though in order to confirm and support the things that my friends and I have all been witness to, I must. I have received many many questions from friends and those who are seeking wondering if I feel that they should continue with the Kimkins program or if they are safe in pursuing that lifestyle. I want to re-iterate, I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. I have only shared from my own experience and research. This entire situation has begun me thinking, however, that perhaps a certification in nutrition would be prudent for me to obtain so that I can continue on this journey with a bit more knowledge and expertise. With that said though, I want to share with all of you my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program simply based on my own experience and research thus far. I know there are and will be more, as I feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.


1)The Kimkins stand regarding laxatives is: “One full dose the first day, and then a reduced 25%-50% dose every day afterwards to maintain regularity.” All studies that I have found indicate that while continued dosing of a mild laxative is not necessarily addicting to some, it can be very detrimental to others causing the large intestine to become dependent on the herbs or laxative in order to contract and function properly. I asked to be pointed to the research and medical documentation that demonstrated otherwise. This would be separate from those who have been prescribed laxatives by their doctors for other reasons, but for the general public.

***On the laxative note. This is predominately necessary in the Kimmer Experiment portion of the program (Stillman’s). However, Dr Stillman’s notes say to increase vitamin C as a first option and Milk of Magnesia as a second, but not on a regular basis. See note on water below***

2)After researching the Atkins 72 and Stillman’s Quick Weight Loss Method plans, which are openly sited as being the basis for Kimkins, I saw a few staunch differences which I wanted to clarify. The claim is, that this program is safe because it was based on both of those plans written by doctors. However, it also contains Kimmer’s “tweaks.”

a.Fat is cut because of the calories. I wondered though about the dairy. All the foods listed within the program do contain many of the vitamin and mineral’s our bodies needs. However, the majority of Kimkins members are not eating enough of any of these things to obtain the amount of minerals especially that they need. I was concerned that the things that have been cut because of the fear of fat could be detrimental in the long run. Like I described in a previous post, Dr Atkins said “be shockingly un-afraid of fat” which I can see not being good on one hand… but it would be just as much of an opposite extreme to “be shockingly AFRAID of fat.”

b.Both programs push fluid intake. Stillman’s says 8 glasses of water a day and Atkin’s says as much water as thirst requires. Kimmer does not like to drink water, I don’t prefer it either, but I did try to get at least 40-60oz of water plus whatever calorie free beverage I chose during my journey and even now. The reason that Stillman required water on his program because he knew the strain that a high protein diet would have on the kidneys and therefore demanded the water to keep them flushed. Dr Atkins 72 plan encouraged the use of liquids but it was not required due to the higher veggie content, but even at that higher carb veggies (such as pumpkin and fruit like rhubarb) and good fats (avocado) were added to his program in the second week. The benefits of increased clear fluid intake are shown over and over, including assistance with regularity, so why is it not encouraged more?

c. I did see in one area where the Stillman’s program also gave this disclaimer: “This is a severe form of ketogenic diet. It is not easily sustainable for the long term. It may be useful in breaking plateaus and in those too impatient to allow their bodies to take the fat off gradually at its own pace.” But it does not say (at least where I could find it) that it can be done indefinitely w/o some risks.

d. My concern regarding both is this. Kimkins is a modified version of both of these diets combined, removing some things and adding others. The reasoning behind why Kimkins is so safe is because it was essentially “created” by 2 doctors so it is still “doctor approved.” BUT, Just as Kimmer says don’t modify Kimkins otherwise it’s not the same program. The same go for these two programs as well. So in essence, by modifying Atkins 72 and Stillman’s to be Kimkins you really no longer have a “Doctor approved” program because you have removed the things that they viewed as essential for their diet.

e. Kimmer claimed to me to have written a bariatric clinic to obtain a Doctor’s approval and review of the program. I requested a copy of the letters she had written.

3)I did lose on this program and seemingly have “thrived” in my results, aside from the side effects I experienced which I have already addressed. I am concerned that this is not as much of a “cookie cutter” program as Kimmer and others would like to believe. I am young, moderately good health before I began, and quite resilient. My body can hopefully take things ok with “minimal” side effects (not discounting however, that my calories were too low and I would much rather people follow their dietary program safely and not enter the danger zone that I did). However, my structure and nutritional needs are very different than someone who is 60, 70, or 13. I am in the prime of my life, and so eating this restricted, while maybe not the healthiest thing for our bodies, I reasoned that it’s better than obesity. I do have many concerns now though. Especially the older and younger members have some very different needs and promising that “you will lose no matter what” may be true to an extent, I cannot any longer condone recommending to anyone to cut out some things that they specifically may need for their bodies. At that point, it’s NOT just a matter of calories and math… you do have to take into consideration the vital nutrients and how much of each thing on this program they would have to consume to get those nutrients.

4)It was a well known fact that Kimmer had been accused of soliciting to teens. At first, I did not believe this accusation, and when Jimmy asked her about this directly she stated that she would never recommend this program for teens. I have always stated that too, as has my friend Deni. When we had our initial “Controversy” email session that was disclosed by Becky between Kimmer and moderators, it was brought up that a 13 year old had been in the chat room. Kimmer stated, “A 13 year old in chat? No way! Not OK ever. Please all/any of you let me know so I can talk to the account holder and tell them "nicely" about no kids and probably refund/cancel.” I needed to know then, why when one member out openly displaying her age as 14, and Deni and I were both trying to push her to talk to her mom and doctor, and reconsider what she was eating, did Kimmer come in and not only encourage her that her low cals were ok, but did not back us up in the need to talk to her doctor and mother? I did not understand why it suddenly was not important “whether you are 14 or 84” to have different diets. Nutritional needs at both those ages are very different, and it’s not just a matter of extra fat calories hanging on. Why was this teen not encouraged as well that this was not the place for her and “nicely” asked to leave?

5)I now had several questions regarding confusion surrounding Kimmer’s identity. Kimmer has told me things about herself at various times that are confusing and conflicting.

a.She speaks quite often about her sister and her use of Kimkins. She also told me that the picture in the red dress is in fact her. However, she also told me that not even her sister knows that she is Kimmer. How can this be? Would’t she see her picture on the site and put two and two together?

b. When I have called various times to speak with Kimmer, I have spoken with several other members of her household. One claimed to be her sister and another Brandon, and also one other unknown male. Each time, I have asked for “Heidi” and they have given the phone to her or told me she was not available. Months ago, Kimmer told me in one of our discussions “If you call me Heidi I might not know who you’re talking to,” insinuating that she is NOT Heidi. But, in that same conversation she also told me that calling her “Heidi” would keep her grounded and help remind her of where she came from. She reminisced to me also about when she was class mom for her boys and they called her “Ms Heidi.” However, she is now claiming that is not her name. I have a problem with this.

c. Kimmer speaks freely about Brandon and her involvement with him. However, the only reference ever throughout any business dealings and in records is for “Brandon Diaz.” If she is not Heidi Diaz, did he legally change his last name to coordinate with the name that she is operating under?

d. According to public records, “Heidi Diaz” birthday is in May. On that date, “her birthday,” this year, we made a fairly big “to do” about it being her birthday within the forum in which she accepted congratulations and spoke of how much she enjoyed celebrating her birthday. Was this not accurate? Did we have a “ghost” birthday celebration?

e. Kimmer has repeatedly allowed me to continue call and represent her as “Heidi.” I unknowingly participated in a deception that I am not comfortable with. And once again, I feel I owe my readers and friends an apology for this as well.

f. MULTIPLE times Kimmer informed me that she is the only one who handles the money. She doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. This is confusing to me if she is not Heidi, as the instructions for sending a check/money order state to make them out to “Heidi Diaz / Kimkins.”

6)I was concerned lastly regarding the future of Kimkins if Kimmer continued to conceal her identity. Kimmer has stated over and over that she is a very private person and does not want any recognition. However, I also know that as this program continues to grow, the question of “Who Is Kimmer” will not only exponentially get louder, but it will become more and more difficult for her to remain a hidden person without people writing the program off as a farce and a joke at best and an internet scam and criminal fraud at worst. If there is to be credibility behind the program then people need to know the credibility behind the founder. I believe that it is time for Kimmer to come out of hiding.

These are just some of my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer. After asking these questions as it pertained to my job as the Public Relations director for the Kimkins program, instead of forthrightly answering my questions, Kimmer’s immediate response (within 30 minutes) was to terminate my position as the PR director and offer a smaller position as head moderator which I refused. I explained to her that if I would not be allowed to ask questions for my job, and operate with integrity and a clear conscience, then I would not be able to participate within Kimkins as it was and asked to be removed as a moderator. Within the next few minutes I was banned from Kimkins.com.

I hope that by posting this that the facts may be taken for what they are, and I wish very much that Kimmer would simply come forward and answer me honestly. It hurt me terribly to have to do what I did. I cannot begin to express how much the support and encouragement that I received this last week has meant to me. I want to end with a passage from the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 4 vs 5.

Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.

I feel now that the Lord is bringing much to light that I had been blind to previously. I only pray that throughout this entire situation God will allow only the truth to prevail and that all other "things" fall to the wayside.

The New Road

Today I begin again. I have been thinking quite a bit about all that has transpired in my life over the last few months, culminating in my decision to leave the Kimkins program at the beginning of this week. I know that I will be posting more soon about my decision and the things that led up to it, but for now, I am reminded of the poem by Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken:


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I am beginning my new journey; to inspire, encourage, support, and lift all those who share the same dreams and struggles as I. Weight loss and successful maintenance is ours for the taking. Won't you journey with me down this road less traveled? I'll be there with you.... hand in hand.... ready for the unknown. If we go together, we can overcome.