The Journey

NOTICE OF PENDENCY OF CLASS ACTION

2009-11-10T20:57:00.002-06:00

Here is the notice that has now been approved by the Court. I will post a copy of the notice including the Judge's signature as soon as it is provided to me.

Please pass this on - forward it to every party you might think remotely interested, including media outlets you think may have an interest in sharing this information. If you are familiar with anyone who joined Kimkins, please direct them to this notice so that as many of the 40,000 people affected by Heidi's little scam as possible will have the opportunity to know they are part of the class and can opt out, preferring instead to allow Heidi to keep their money, or, perhaps, retaining their right to sue her independently.

If you previously posted this on your blog, please replace the pending version with this official one. Thank you!

Hear that banging sound? Just another handful of nails ...

NOTICE OF PENDENCY OF CLASS ACTION

TO: EVERYONE WHO PURCHASED A MEMBERSHIP TO KIMKINS.COM THROUGH THE KIMKINS.COM WEB SITE (www.kimkins.com) FROM JANUARY 1, 2006 TO OCTOBER 15, 2007

PLEASE READ THIS NOTICE CAREFULLY. YOUR RIGHTS MAY BE AFFECTED BY A CLASS-ACTION LAWSUIT THAT IS CURRENTLY PENDING IN RIVERSIDE COUNTY SUPERIOR COURT, IN RIVERSIDE, CALILFORNIA.

INTRODUCTION

1. On May 20, 2009, the Riverside County Superior Court, located in Riverside, California, issued an order certifying this case to proceed as a class action.

2. The plaintiffs are six individuals who bought memberships to kimkins.com through the kimkins.com Website (www.kimkins.com) from January 1, 2006 to October 15, 2007. The defendants are Heidi Diaz, an individual, and Kimkins (also known as Kimkins.com), a business entity that conducts business in Corona, California.

3. The plaintiffs contend that Diaz and Kimkins.com induced them into buying memberships for kimkins.com through false and misleading information provided on the Kimkins.com Web site. The plaintiffs contend that the defendants violated California Business & Professions Code § 17200, et seq., which authorizes courts to provide relief from unfair, unlawful, and fraudulent business practices. The plaintiffs also contend that Diaz and Kimkins.com violated common law prohibitions against fraud and negligent misrepresentation.

4. This notice provides you with information regarding the litigation, including the plaintiffs’ claims against the defendants and the current status of the litigation. This notice also provides you with information regarding the court’s class-certification order.

THE LITIGATION

The Plaintiffs’ Claims

5. This lawsuit is based on the plaintiffs’ claims that Diaz and Kimkins used unfair, unlawful, or fraudulent business practices to induce them into buying memberships to Kimkins.com. This lawsuit is also based on the plaintiffs’ claims that the false and misleading information contained on the kimkins.com Web site constituted fraud or negligent misrepresentation by Diaz and Kimkins.

6. Here’s a list of the kinds of misconduct that the plaintiffs have alleged:

• that Diaz and Kimkins concocted a false persona, “Kim Drake” or “Kimmer” to sell memberships to Kimkins.com
• that Diaz and Kimkins misled potential members into believing that “Kim Drake” was real by using photos of real women and then falsely claiming that the photos depicted “Drake”
• that Diaz and Kimkins posted lied about “Drake’s” purported weight loss
• that Diaz and Kimkins provided false or misleading information to Women’s World magazine
• that Diaz and Kimkins fabricated 41 “success stories” and published on the Kimkins.com Web
• that Diaz and Kimkins made up celebrity endorsements
• that Diaz and Kimkins misused labels and metatags to steer Internet traffic to the Kimkins.com Website, in violation of the law
• that Diaz and Kimkins misled potential members into believing that they were buying lifetime memberships, when in fact Diaz and Kimkins.com terminated memberships at their whim
• that Diaz and Kimkins intended to mislead potential members and assumed that potential members would rely on her misrepresentations.

The Defendants’ Position

7. Diaz and Kimkins have denied all allegations of wrongdoing and liability, and they continue to deny that they have done anything wrong. Diaz and Kimkins also have asserted various affirmative defenses to the plaintiffs’ claims.

THE COURT’S CLASS-CERTIFICATION ORDER

8. In an order filed May 20, 2009, the Court granted the Plaintiffs’ Motion for Class Certification. The Court certified for class treatment the plaintiffs’ claims for equitable relief, including disgorgement of the subscription fees paid to Diaz and Kimkins by the plaintiffs and the members of the class.

9. The certified class is defined as all individuals who purchased the Kimkins.com diet membership on-line from the Kimkins.com Web site from January 1, 2006 through October 15, 2007.

THE COURT HAS NOT EXPRESSED ANY OPINIONS
REGARDING THE MERITS OF THE PLAINTIFFS’ CLAIMS

10. The Court ordered that this notice be provided to advise class members that this case is pending and that the Court has certified the case to proceed as a class action. You should not consider this notice or its mailing to be a statement by the Court that the plaintiffs are right or that their claims will prevail.

INSTRUCTIONS TO CLASS MEMBERS

11. You do not need to do anything to remain a member of the class. If you bought a Kimkins.com diet membership on-line from the Kimkins.com Web site from January 1, 2006 through October 15, 2007—including either of those dates—you are automatically included in the class. Your rights will be represented by the plaintiffs and their attorneys. You will not be personally responsible for any attorney fees or for the any of the costs of this litigation.

OPT OUT OF CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT

12. You have the opportunity to opt out of the class action lawsuit as detailed herein. If you incurred a personal injury as a result of using the Kimkins.com aka Kimkins Diet, you have a right to opt out. Notices to opt must be sent to jtiedt@tiedtlaw.com or mailed to Tiedt & Hurd at 980 Montecito Drive, Suite 209, Corona, California 92879.

WHERE TO GO & WHOM TO CONTACT
SHOULD YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION

13. This notice provides only a brief summary of this litigation. For further details, you should take one or both of the following steps:

• Review the documents in the Court’s file for this lawsuit. Many of these documents may be viewed or obtained on-line at the following URL: http://public-access.riverside.courts.ca.gov/OpenAccess/ . You also may review the Court’s file in person by going to the Office of the Clerk of the Court for the Riverside Superior Court, during regular business hours. The Clerk’s office is located at 4050 Main Street, Riverside, California 92501.

• Write a letter to the attorneys who are representing the plaintiffs and whom the Court has appointed to represent the class. Here are their names and their contact information:

John E. Tiedt & Marc S. Hurd
Tiedt & Hurd
980 Montecito Drive, Suite 209
Corona, California 92879

Michael L. Cohen
Michael L. Cohen, a PLC
707 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 4100
Los Angeles, California 90017

Ray Moore
Moore Winter McLennan LLP
701 N. Brand Blvd., Suite 200
Glendale, California 92103-4232

If you decide to contact one of the plaintiffs’ attorneys, please do so in writing. To make it easier for them or one of their staff members to respond, however, your letter should include both your e-mail address and your telephone number.

There are estimated to be as many as 40,000 members in the class. So please, DO NOT CALL THE COURT OR ATTEMPT TO CONTACT THE COURT BY E-MAIL.

DATE: ___________________________, 2009

____________________________________
Hon. _________________________,
Presiding Judge

The time is coming...

2009-08-06T11:45:00.001-05:00

I am reminiscent today about all that has changed in my life over the last several years. Partially because so much has happened, and also because we are approaching now the 2 year anniversary of when I discovered that I had been taken in by one of the biggest online diet scams ever conceived. It is almost ironic that the court date for the summary judgment against Heidi Diaz and the Kimkins program will take place almost exactly two years after the low-carb internet community literally exploded with the discovery of her con.

I am also grateful. I am so very grateful and honored that I have many supporters and friends who have helped me through this incredible ordeal. Thinking back to the moments preceding my departure from Kimkins, I remember such an incredible range of emotions from fear, to anger, disappointment, discouragement, and just outright denial. It never in a million years would have crossed my mind that I would be so taken in and taken advantage of.

Since my departure though, time heals wounds. I move on, and am stronger. I have begun a new life. I am back in college, pressing towards a new carrier in physical therapy and nutrition. Two fields that, 10 years ago, I would have scoffed at. One might say that it was my experience with Kimkins that began leading me to this new path. It probably was, but for much larger reasons than just learning about dieting. It is now my passion and drive to educate. No-one, NO-ONE, should have to suffer the pain and humiliation that being led astray by an “educated” con artist peddling the latest fad diet can bring. It is my mission to spread the TRUTH about healthy living. I will do my part to vocalize the need for stricter regulations governing internet health and diet sites and those who run them.

I want more than most can imagine for the Kimkins saga to have its final chapter. I am ready to close that part of my story. However, wounds that deep have scars, scars that will not go away quite so easily. I cannot close this chapter till it is completed. I am not disgruntled or vindictive, but I do believe that there are there are consequences for our actions, both good and bad. The consequences for the monstrous deceptions that Heidi Diaz doled out have yet to be fully realized. I have been quiet for too long. I am still a member of the suit, and will not back down till justice is served. John Teidt has filed an unprecedented motion for summary judgment in the lawsuit against Heidi and Kimkins. I am confident that the evidence speaks for itself. It is time for Heidi to take responsibility for her actions. August 24 will be a monumental day.

Proposed Notice of Pendency of Class Action - Kimkins Class Action Lawsuit

2009-06-27T22:31:00.005-05:00

Regarding the Kimkins Class Action Lawsuit: This is NOT an official notice. This notice is proposed to the court by plaintiffs’ counsel June 26, 2009. If you choose to duplicate this notice on any blog or website, this notice MUST be included.

Truth - Freedom or Bondage?

2009-05-31T22:55:00.003-05:00

"The Truth will set you free..."

How many times have I heard this phrase? I often contemplate just what it means for me. Often, it means different things based simply on what emphasis you give it. The truth... the TRUTH... THE truth... WILL set you free... will set you FREE. It has meant a bit of all of these inflections to me over the last several months.

It has been a several months since I've been here blogging about weight loss, weight loss scams (and scammer), and life. Over the last few months I've had one more surgery on my knee, plus recovery and therapy time, I have been totally immersed in a very difficult semester in school, I've been working strenuously at two jobs... Not to mention making time for my own family and personal needs.

It is because of these last few months that I must embrase the following inflection of that initial phrase. "The TRUTH will set you free..." I am having a difficult time coming to grips with what my own truth is. The only reason I am publishing it here is because I must be held accountible. Not only to myself, but to all those who follow my blog as well. Since my most recent injury and surgury, my weight has become increasingly difficult to maintain and keep under control. I know that this is partially my fault due to my inability to excercise, compensations should be made in the way I was eating. But none-the-less, I did not. Therefore, over the last 7-8 months I have put on about 25 extra pounds. This has been very disheartening for me and has kept me feeling enslaved to maintaining a lie. But I believe that by putting this truth out here like this, MY TRUTH is now laid bare, and I am not allowing any false presuppositions of my weightloss/maintenance status to be upheld.

I am dilligently working on a HEALTHY plan now to reclaim those 25 pounds lost once again and am confident that patience and perseverance will prevail. My difficulty will be in wanting to get it off NOW. This philosophy was ingrained in my not only this fast paced society that we live in, but also my past experiences. Throughout my experience with the Kimkins program, one of the things that made it so attractive was the speed at which the weight did come off. Over these last few years since I have been away from that program however, I have learned the value of attaining something that you have not only worked hard for, but have waited for with patience. True sustainable weight loss comes at a hard price. It takes time. But it is through that time that you learn healthy new habits that are also sustainable which allow that weight loss to be permanent. Rapid weight loss is never (with a very RARE exception) permanent.

It is this discouragement and "need for rapid loss" mentality which I believe is sending people to return once again to the Kimkins program. Yes, they may be able to get off once again that which they initially lost. BUT, they will once again be caught in that dangerous cycle in which they will regain, and then back to Kimkins, and on and on it will go. There is a two fold danger in that cycle. Not only is constant yo-yo dieting very hard on your body, it can be seriously dangerous. It can be dangerous for your heart, liver, and other organs that are trying to cope with the never ending starvation/feasting roller coaster. Too much of that up and down, and the organs will wear out rapidly. Not only that, but according to other health studies, yo-yo dieting can drastically reduce natural immune system cells which not only target viruses, but also aid the body fighting against cancer cells.

We lose weight initially so we can look better and feel better about ourselves. But, the other issue that I have been faced with over these last several months is the emotional damage that regaining weight can bring. Emotionally and psychologically, I have a very difficult time with self-acceptance and self-worth. When you are in a constant struggle of up and down, gaining and losing, you will also have a psychological war waging within. "I love how I feel when I'm losing," "I hate myself for gaining." This is not healthy either. Health encompases all parts of our being, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual states combined. This is what makes us unique. When one of those parts is out of balance, the rest will be too. Educate yourself on healthy, proven, maintainable eating strategies which will allow your loss to be much longer lasting. While I cannot guarentee that will improve your self-image, I'm certain that for myself, it can't hurt!

I meant to write tonight of the impact that the TRUTH has had on me over the last several months. Not only with my personal weight gain and epiphanies on sustainable loss strategies, but also in recent events within the Kimkins TRUTH vs DECEIT saga. I will have to get into that at another time, but let me leave you with this. The truth is evident to all. With the recent victory in claiming (once again) class certification in the lawsuit against the Kimkins fraud, it is apparent that regardless of excuses and attempts to cover-up and clean-up, the TRUTH speaks for itself.

Prayer Chain for AmyB

2008-12-07T10:29:00.003-06:00

My friends. My heart is heavy right now. My dear friend AmyB is in need. She is a fellow blogger and activist. She is one of the bravest women I have the honor and privilege of calling friend. Right now, she and her son Phillip are undergoing some major health issues. Please take a moment to visit her blog: Our Daily Blessing - Life, and giver her a word of encouragement. She needs prayer and support.

Amy, you know that I am here for you. I am passing this prayer chain along, raising my voice in agreement to the Lord with so many others... I pray for peace and comfort for your family. I pray for wisdom and skill for the doctors who are treating both you and Phillip. I pray for comfort and strength for Jim, and the rest of your precious family. I am with you my friend. And I love you.

Important Lawsuit Information

2008-11-05T15:29:00.001-06:00

This request was penned by my good friend Prudentia.. Please take a few moments to review this and feel free to contact either myself, Prudentia, or the Kimkins Case email if you would like more information about how you can help.

John is working diligently on the Certification Brief for the class action lawsuit against Heidi Diaz and Kimkins. The following is the information we are pulling together for him as he is finalizing the brief. If you can provide any of this information, please forward it either to PrudentiaBlog@aol.com, or to KimkinsCase@gmail.com. If you are concerned about becoming involved, please contact me and I will be able to discuss this further with you.

1. We are compiling a list of people who saw the person known as Kimmer, including the avatar of herself, on the Low Carb Friends board during the actual period of time she was there – during 2002 through mid 2006. You can simply send an email stating that you saw her and your name will be added to that list.

2. We are looking for more persons who dealt with Heidi while she was impersonating a consumer simply promoting the diet. For example, people who became involved in her free clothing give away. Particularly people who dealt with her as Vanessa2Lucky@yahoo.com.

3. We are looking for advertisements clearly stating that she was offering a life-time membership. These can be from between the dates of February 2006 and October 2007.

4. Heidi stated in advertisements that her diet is good for persons with Type II Diabetes. We are looking for people who read that advertisement and joined Kimkins based upon that claim.

5. We are compiling a list of those who have been banned from the Kimkins site. Please include whether or not you are “super banned” or if you can still access the front page but not the boards and membership only areas.

Again, please forward these items to PrudentiaBlog@aol.com or KimkinsCase@gmail.com so that we can compile the replies and sort out duplicates. Thank you very much for your assistance in these matters.

The SLAPP heard round the world...

2008-10-29T21:25:00.006-05:00

I’m typically a very mild mannered person. I hate confrontation. In my personal life, I usually take too much on myself before I meet someone else head-on. That being said, in my online turned real life, I have recently been “called out.” My blogging life as of late has been an attempt to focus on sharing from my own life how I feel a healthful weight loss lifestyle should be incorporated. Part of that information sharing has been a warning and caution about succumbing to weight loss scams such as the “Kimkins” diet.

As most of my readers know, I lost my weight by (and developed an eating disorder from) utilizing the Kimkins program. I have spent the last year in an attempt to recover from that experience. This year has also seen a multitude of other changes and involvements. These changes include a class-action lawsuit against the perpetrator of the Kimkins scam, as well as my own enrollment back in college to obtain a degree in nutrition so that I can share a VALID way of eating with those around me who are struggling. The lawsuit I believe is going very well… well… that is, until Heidi Diaz decided that it would be in her best interest to try to squelch me and my fellow outspoken advocates by filing a SLAPP lawsuit against us. For more information on exactly what a SLAPP lawsuit is, please visit my good friend, Prudentia, as she eloquently explains here: Understanding SLAPP.

The purpose of this counter-suit is clear, to intimidate us into silence. Well… as far as I can see, the opposite has happened. Instead of a muffler, we have been given a megaphone. All I can say at this point is thank you. Thank you Prudentia for explaining so fluently and your undying support; thank you “ducks” for your amazing efforts in spreading the word to help others; thank you to my fellow counter-suit defendants, you all are an inspiration to me; THANK YOU John Teidt for your tireless work and outstanding bravado, and yes… thank you Heidi, for showing me just why I cannot be silenced. I have done nothing but tell the truth about my experience with the Kimkins program. Such is my first amendment right. And now, my fellow defendants, ducks, and readers I have a message:

Reflections

2008-09-02T20:10:00.001-05:00

OK So I know to most people, I'm still a baby. But, my 30th birthday is now looming on me; it will take place at the end of this month. I've been working on my emotional response and preparing myself for this milestone all year. Something happened today, however, that made me realize that age.... is just a number. And, it really doesn't matter cause in the broad scheme of things, I have friends from age 14 to grandmothers (no ages given out of respect;) LOL).

So today, I received an AARP card. Now... I know that you are not supposed to receive these things till you are approaching your 50's. So the mere fluke that I got it as I approach 30 was simply hilarious to me.

It did get me thinking though. Here I am.. 30 years old (and yes... I keep saying it to bring the reality of it to myself), and I am amazed at how much I've learned over my short lifetime... especially the last 2 years. I am approaching my 2 year anniversary of going low carb (Oct 2) and I am AMAZED at how my life has changed. I am thinner... yes. I am, for the first time in my life, what one would consider "normal." But how did I get here? I was scammed. I threatened my own life by low carb starvation. But out of the ashes of such tragedy... comes an incredible beauty.

I have re-entered college. Something I NEVER in a million years would have thought probable or even possible. I am studying NUTRITION of all things!

I have met some of the most incredible people in the world. I have "met" the most incredulous liar, and the kindest saints. So many opposites... it would make even the sanest person's head spin. But... in spite of everything, I am grateful. I am grateful that I have learned an awareness of myself. I am grateful that I have discovered a new purpose in life. I would not wish being deceived and scammed like I have been on my worst enemy. NO-one deserves that. So, I am now an activist. I can embrace my role as wife, mother, helper, and encourager with joy and hope for a brighter lifetime of good health, and showing others that they have that potential too.

Was it a fluke that I got an AARP card this morning... maybe. But just maybe... it was more than that. Thanks AARP...

Past, Present and Future

2008-08-29T09:41:00.008-05:00

I will resume blogging about the Mediterranean Diet very soon, however it has been brought to my attention that there are those who are members of the dangerous Kimkins diet program who are STILL unaware of the scam, and even if they are aware of a "scandal," still think it's none of their business and see no point or reason to joining the Kimkins lawsuit. If you are one who is just becoming aware of these issues, I'd like to speak to you for a moment.

Let's go back about a year and a half ago. You’ve reached the point that so many of us who have dealt with weight issues have come too. You’re tired, and in a word, desperate. You hear of a program that gives the glorious promise that it, in and of itself, is even BETTER than Gastric Bypass surgery. Maybe that is something that you’ve considered in the past, and are at the point of seriously trying. But you want to give a weight loss regime one last try. It looked easy enough... price was less than what you've spent before, and the stories sounded too good to be true! So you joined Kimkins.

You try it for a week, maybe even a month and while it works, you decide that just like all the other programs you’ve tried.. you just can’t stick to it. So you quit and go on with your life. You don't think about it again, till you reach yet another point of desperation... and so you go back. Something has changed. The forums are dead. All the familiar faces that you spoke to and maybe even looked up to for inspiration are gone. There is a reason, so you begin looking around on the internet for answers.

You discover that this program is different. Unlike other legitimate weight loss programs, this particular program was not only begun as a blatant scam, those who have followed it for any extended period of time have become sick.

These are not people who were prone to eating disorders. These are normal individuals who have developed serious psychological issues thinking that they just were not strong enough to follow a diet program.

Those who did follow it, EXACTLY AS WRITTEN, have severely damaged their metabolisms, suffered thyroid damage, gall bladder damage, intestinal issues, severe hair loss, electrolyte and potassium deficiencies, major muscle loss (including heart damage) all of which have seen many in emergency rooms, facing surgeries and extended and lengthy recovery times. These issues are not exaggerations. They are life threatening realities.

The owner of Kimkins dot com not only admitted under oath that she lied about her own weight loss, but she has shown no concern or care towards those who have been damaged by the diet that she published and voraciously broadcast around the world.

Heidi K Diaz, founder of Kimkins, not only scammed you and me out of our money, but has risked thousands of people’s lives with her carelessness.

In October of 2007 a lawsuit was launched because of Heidi’s refusal to refund unsatisfied customers their money. This lawsuit has become even more than a quest to “get money back.” Heidi has since proven that not only did she intentionally perpetrate this particular scam, but she fully intends to continue dishonestly swindle unknowing and unsuspecting consumers unless she is brought to justice.

Many people have used the rationalization that “I have spent hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars on other weight loss remedies, and this is just one more, so I have no reason to get involved in a “petty” lawsuit just to get my $59.99 back.” Maybe that is where you are.Consider this, over the course of the last year, Heidi Diaz has deceitfully obtained almost 2 Million dollars. In the month that the Woman’s World magazine article came out, Heidi accumulated 1.3 million. All these funds were obtained on the basis of a fraud. While one payment of $59.99 might seem minuscule to some, in accumulation, they were an incredible sum. So far in the lawsuit there have been multiple depositions, not only of Heidi, but those who have aided her in her deception. Heidi has had 3 depositions, both her sons have been deposed, as has an aid for her lawyer.

The lawsuit is not certified yet, so it is NOT too late for you to participate!

Please go to The Kimkins Lawsuit Webpage for information on how to join the lawsuit. For step by step instructions you can see the “How To Join a Lawsuit” instructional video on YouTube, as well as multiple other reports regarding developments over the last year within this case.If you are still not convinced that you should step in and help by joining the lawsuit, then think of this: Suppose it was your sister, or mother who had been damaged such as many of the testimonies on Kimkins Survivors. What if one of them suffered a painful and extended stay in the hospital due to malnutrition and possibly even heart failure due to their body being so deprived of nutrients it began to shut down? Even if you have not experienced any of these things, there are those who have. Please take 5 minutes to review the information on joining the lawsuit so that together we can stop Heidi Diaz from continuing to hurt people in this manner.

Our desire is that Heidi Diaz would realize the err of her ways and shut down Kimkins dot com. This however, is unlikely to happen. Our hope and course of action now will be to demonstrate to the judicial system the danger that she poses as a con-artist to the general public. We will civilly remove her funds through this Class Action Lawsuit, and criminally, prove that she committed a dangerous consumer fraud to whatever entities may be pursuing this case. The more participants within the lawsuit, the greater our chances of both of these objectives happening.

Heidi has fully demonstrated that she will continue to find new ways to con unless we are successful. She has refused to be honest in ALL of her depositions, has destroyed evidence, hidden her income, and manipulated the justice system through delay tactics that will only continue to drain money away from those who deserve to get their money back. Please think about those who have been hurt. You will not be required to testify or face Heidi. You will only be lending a voice to many.

This post was originally put together for MissMerize AKA Avenue girl who is putting together an informational video to share with those who are still not aware of the atrocity that is Kimkins.

For Grammy

2008-06-26T14:32:00.008-05:00

I was only 6 years old, but I remember visiting my grandmother in the hospital during her first stint with the deadly disease of breast cancer. I was too little to know anything other than my Grammy was sick. She was only 53 years old. After a double mastectomy and months of chemotherapy, things seemed to be looking up. The cancer went into remission and we believed that she had beaten the disease.

In 1999, our family was to receive another blow when we received word that my mother, then only 42, had been diagnosed with breast cancer. My brothers, sisters and I gathered around my parents and wept as my father shaved my mother’s head as she began dealing with the effects of the chemotherapy. She too underwent a double mastectomy and we began the healing process. Breast cancer awareness and prevention became forefront in our lives.

In 2001 my grandmother’s cancer returned my sister ran in the Komen Foundation Race for the Cure. This began an annual event for my family attending as she ran. Every year, I sat on the sidelines and watched with pride; however, I was always too overweight to participate. Grammy’s cancer has never gone fully into remission. Since then, she has battled the disease culminating with this year growths have spread to her spine and recurred again in the scar tissue from her mastectomy in this her 6th occurrence.

It was a sudden realization that fat FEEDS cancer and seeing my sister cross that finish line in the fall of 2006 that began my weight loss journey. And so, after losing the weight, last year, in honor of Grammy, for the first time, my brothers, sisters and I (with the exception of 1 brother who was out of state) and my wonderful mother, ran TOGETHER in the Race For The Cure.

My weight loss journey began with a desire to lose to help make my body healthier to attempt to stave off this dangerous disease. I am the oldest of 6 children. I have 2 sisters. Statistically speaking, research shows that one of us girls will contract this disease. The odds for women who have a maternal history of breast cancer in their families are 2:1, or one out of three. Therefore, it has become increasingly important to us to not only find a cure, but to do all we can to learn how to prevent cancer.

I have discovered through my research that even in my weight loss journey, I was not eating preventatively. Losing fat is not enough, and unfortunately, the malnutrition that I suffered utilizing the Kimkins program did not help either. A healthy cancer prevention diet is actually not surprisingly a fairly popular Low Carb/Low Glycemic Index diet. The Mediterranean Diet is one of the highest recommended diets for breast cancer prevention. This diet is very low carb friendly too, emphasizing healthy Omega 3 Essential Fatty Acids, fresh low GI antioxidant filled fruits and veggies, and healthy proteins.

Over the next few weeks I will be highlighting various healthy low carb aspects of this dietary approach as I learn about them and their benefit towards thwarting the deadly disease of breast cancer.

Grammy currently is not well. While it hurts me immensely to see her in such pain, it also gives me new resolve to do whatever is in my power to educate others in a healthy lifestyle. A lifestyle that will not only assist them in achieving their weight loss goals, but also provides the nutrients and health benefits that can help extend their lives in other areas as well.

Grammy… I love you.

WE WILL FIND A CURE.

Turkish Delight

2008-06-12T16:08:00.001-05:00

I have never thought about or realized the draw that finding a weight loss method that “works” has. Of course anyone would follow a plan that was guaranteed to work. They’d be crazy not to. But… what if that plan was unknowingly dangerous, or even life threatening? What if following that plan led to an addiction? What if following the plan brought on a whole new set of problems?

This is my reality. In the aftermath of my accident and all that has occurred since that time… and after a year of maintaining my weight loss with Kimkins, my reality is harsh (for me). I know that maintaining after losing a great deal of weight is not easy by any means. However, after following a Very Low Calorie program like Kimkins, having a “normal” maintenance life is exponentially more difficult.

After Kimkins, I made it my goal to learn how to eat and be healthy. I enrolled in school and have begun my newest journey towards obtaining a degree in Nutrition and Kinesiology. But, even in all I’m learning, why does Kimkins still have an allure to me? Simple… it worked to get the weight off. It was a fix. There was an uncanny high that came from feeling that sense of control and seeing the scale drop every day. Even within the forums of Kimkins there was a glossy magnetism about it. It was a happy place where everything was encouraging and everyone was your friend. But, that addicting appeal was seductive, it was a Turkish Delight. In the sweet comfort lay something far more sinister than the appearance it put off.

Within the confines of my little weight loss world, and my adherence to the Kimkins plan, something grew. I developed a full blown eating disorder. Coming out of that program, I was even more shocked to learn that I was not the only one either. Had this “solution” to my weight problems actually given me a whole new predicament to deal with?

I’ve kept most of my weight off for over a year now, true…. However, with time, as with most things, some has begun to creep back on. For this reason, I now am facing the reality of a) get this under control, or b) go back to the way I was. Option B is not an option.
I have often thought about the draw to that way of eating in similarity to recovering from a drug addiction. If you go back to it, the first hits give instant relief and “comfort.” You think… I control this, it doesn’t control me. However, the longer it continues; the reality is… that it does control you. You are trapped in a never-ending carrousel of recovery/getting a fix.

I would be kidding myself if I did not admit that the appeal and draw to go back to a Kimkins method of eating was not strong. But why would I do that to myself? The rational in my head says… it’s only 15 pounds… you’ll get that off real quick and then you can go back to eating right. But my heart knows better. I know that if I returned to that method of eating I would be caught in a vicious cycle of ALWAYS having to return to that in order to keep my weight under control. That is no way to live. I would much rather have one fixed way of healthfully eating that, combined with a regular exercise program, I know is good for me and will allow me to not only get my weight back under control, but provide me with a pure and simple strategy for lifelong fitness.

So what is my reality? My reality is that here I sit, facing the dreaded re-gain. However, I am also a VICTORIOUS recovering eating disorder addict. I WILL do what is best for my body…. And that is NOT Kimkins.

The Best Laid Plans

2008-05-21T11:31:00.006-05:00

“My son, if sinners entice you, DO NOT CONSENT… If they say, ‘Let us ambush the innocent without cause…. We shall find all kinds of precious wealth, we shall fill our houses with spoil; Throw in your lot with us, we shall all have one purse’…. My son, DO NOT WALK IN THE WAY WITH THEM. Keep your feet from their path…. For their feet run to evil… They ambush their own lives.”

Proverbs 1:8-18 (paraphrased)

Thousands of years ago Solomon gave this advice to his son as one of his first instructions. It is amazing that this advice still holds true millennia later.

Thanks to the combined effort of some incredible super-sleuths, the identity of a certain poster who has been as staunch defender of Heidi has been accurately identified. I was admittedly surprised when I was approached with this theory. However, as was revealed through more investigation and finally IP identification, this person has misjudged that TRUTH can really set you free from the trap that you set for yourself by taking up with those who ambush the innocent.

Gary Fontaine, Kimkins admin, has been secretly flaming in some of his most recent pro-Kimkins antics. From posting on AmyB’s blog with criticism and harsh verbal taunts of her son and his medical issues, to his latest, and possibly most anonymous, stunt. Up until this last week, it was assumed based on what circumstantial evidence was gathered, that the poster within the Facination With Kimmer threads on LCF known only as “Crispybread,” was Heidi. This same poster linked to several outside blogs which commonly poked fun at, slandered, and even psychologically threatened members of the lawsuit against Kimkins, and those who had been vocal in their stance against Heidi Diaz’ deceptions. However, it is now CONFIRMED, that the true identity of Crispybread, is in fact, Gary Fontaine.

Gary, I can only hope that you have seriously thought through your participation and cooperation with Heidi in the intimidation and slander of key witnesses in the Kimkins lawsuit. There is no recanting what has already been said. Yes… it is too late to take that back.

HUGE special thanks to all who helped in bringing this truth to light: TheTRUTH, Prudentia, Becky, and Tom for confirming the IP locations. Thank you all for demonstrating what can happen when we come together as a team in a combined effort. YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

An Open Letter to Kimkins Members

2008-05-12T14:44:00.003-05:00

I wrote the following letter/reply to Kimkins member DeeDLynn in response to her posting within the Kimmer threads on Low Carb Friends. I wanted to re-write and post it here as an open letter to all remaining Kimkins followers. There are other points and issues that I’d like to address, but I will save some of that for another blog.

Here was my letter:

I have thought about responding here for the last couple of days. While I would hope and pray that my words here would not fall on deaf or cynical ears, I still feel that I must say something.

Dee, I have read your blog and all your posts here over the last several days. No doubt you know who I am. If you joined Kimkins in June of 2007, (and I’m not saying this to be conceited or “look at me” but just stating a fact) then you joined because of my face. I hope you will at least give me the benefit of the doubt and respect what I am saying just as you ask of your words.

As one of the FIRST “successful” Kimkins diet users, I was one of the original guinea pigs. I do take responsibility for what I put in my mouth. I will admit that I did not go to my doctor prior to starting the program. However, when I joined, I was under the mistaken impression that to have a diet program and to sell it, you surely would have had to have a doctor’s approval for it before marketing! I was very distressed when I began working for Heidi and asked if there was one, and her response…. Something along the lines of: just that my doctor said what I did was ok… yeah… haha I guess I really need to get that done. Strike #1

I take by your posts that you enjoy the weight loss that you have seen using Kimkins. Good for you. I did too. It’s almost addicting isn’t it? We liked seeing the scale go down on a weekly/daily basis. It was invigorating and gave us such a sense of accomplishment. Almost to the point that after a great deal of loss you trust the person you’ve looked up to for months (much like those at KK look up to you I’m sure) to let you know finally what you should do to get that last little bit off, which is what I did in listening to what Heidi instructed me to do.

You may remember that last year prior to leaving KK, I had a post that was in the main lobby titled “Christin’s FAQ – I Did it and You Can Too.” To which Heidi replied – “Always wondered what you did ;) Proud of you girl!” Within that thread I posted my menus and exactly what I was eating. Heidi, as the owner and founder of the site and the diet, had a RESPONSIBILITY to correct me if what I was doing was NOT what she was promoting or encouraging. Instead, it was sticky’d at the top of the page where it was the first thing that every new member who came in saw.

So I guess my next question would be then… you say that I was being irresponsible in eating the way that I did when following “The Plan” by eating so few calories. But, that was what I (and many others like me) were instructed to do as that was Kimkins. So I guess I’m at a catch 22 in what you are saying here and I hope you can help me understand. So I should NOT have listened to Kimmer when she personally told me (yes personally as I am one of few who she spoke to EVERY DAY) to NOT stress about low calories, that it was PERFECTLY fine if my cals were at 500 or less? But how does that justify or make any different that you are listening to her diet advice now? So it’s upped by 300 calories… Does that NOW make it nutritionally sound? Strike #2

So does it change things now that since she’s “apologized?”

Think about it this way… if I hurt you and many of your friends and I got caught… so in order to make the peace I said… “I’m sorry if you feel like I hurt you.” Would that make things better? No. Because you would know that my apology was not sincere. I gave Heidi multiple opportunities to come clean in a “safe” way. I presented her with the issues and asked her to address them. Not in a condemning way, or angry and hateful manner; but in a professional and simple request as her PR representative. She would not answer me. In fact, it was not until the lawsuit and her pending deposition (which these Ducks have so eloquently pointed out), that her arm was “twisted” to finally come clean. I too am of the opinion that had it not been for the pressure that was provided through that avenue, she had NO intention of coming clean, OR changing the diet. Strike #3…..

No one ever likes to be contradicted or “told” that they are wrong. I completely understand. You said that you came out and posted here on the fascination thread because there was “falsehoods and gossip” written about you. Believe me, I understand. I’m not sure how long you have been following the controversy, but, last August especially, there was plenty being said about me, and my friends within Kimkins. I too was mad at the time. However, instead of running out here and trying to defend everything that was being said, I decided to take the quite approach and do my own specific research on the issues that were being raised.

Honestly, and I mean this, what I found was an incredible group of people who really do care about people getting hurt. NOT a group of “haters” and “negative Nancy’s.” In trying to disprove them.. I actually disproved myself.

Now, you can take this or leave it. You are correct that you chose your own path. We may end up having to agree to disagree about the Kimkins program and its safety. I only wish your health and happiness. But I would be doing you and many others a horrible disservice if I did not share with you what I know to be true. In working with John, I have personally read many legal affidavits and heard heartbreaking stories of those who have gotten sick and worse by using this program. This is not about money. I don’t care about money. I agree with the above poster who said John and Heidi’s lawyer can have it all… if it only means that people will cease to be hurt by following dangerous diet advice; which IS still being handed out whether you see it or not. I know Heidi. It’s not changing on the underneath side.

I wish you the best Dee…. If anything just THINK about what is presented to you. You don’t have to respond to me. Think about those who are hurting, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Don’t discredit them, because, just like you and I, they too have a voice… I choose to listen to them.

_____________________________

Dee responded to me and I am afraid that we are at a cross roads. She and all of you will have to make your own decision as far as your eating plan goes. My utmost desire is that you be healthy. I do not believe that Heidi Diaz has your best interest and overall health at heart. But that is between her and the Lord. It is my responsibility to educate according to my experience. After all, that is the way we learn right? We learn based on our own, and other's experiences.

Heidi Diaz is not to be trusted. As many of you believe that she has told the truth and apologized, I know she has not fully come clean. And sorry Dee, but she did NOT tell the whole truth at her deposition. She did lie under oath. It was only when faced with proof in her own writings that she admitted lying.

Please also know that any of you can contact me if you have any questions or even just want to talk. I will not judge or condemn. I only want to help you understand what so many of us have come to know to be the truth. When discerning if something is true or not, simply look at the fruit... the only way to know is to look at the facts with an open mind. Weigh for yourself (based on cold hard facts alone, not emotions or what is "working for you") whether or not this is a person and business you can, in good conscience, support.

Once again, as you consider what is placed before you, I leave you once more with this thought: Think about those who are hurting, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Don’t discredit them, because, just like you and I, they too have a voice… I choose to listen to them.

Not KO'd Yet.... Not even close.

2008-05-06T21:48:00.003-05:00

I have been transparent in my stance regarding the Kimkins program and Very Low Calorie eating plans.

I believe that everyone needs to find a program that will work well for them in regards to a sustainable eating and weight loss. Do I believe that Kimkins is a valid program for weight loss? No. Anyone can lose weight by restricting their calories to dangerous levels. I did. But as I have stated before… the maintenance of that loss has been extremely difficult. There are also serious medical issues that can arise from participating in such a program. I do take full responsibility for the food that I put into (or did not put into) my mouth. HOWEVER, I will also say that I was pushed and encouraged daily in the way that I was eating.

I want to make something very clear. I will not be intimidated. I will not back down from my stance against a very low calorie diet and the detriments that it can bring.

I have already begun working on a degree to bring a certification and official title to my convictions. I want to fully understand the medical and nutritional aspects behind the benefits of a low carb diet, and be able to back up my beliefs and statements. But I will NOT be intimidated into silence.

I am very grateful to those who have helped me along the way to understand the dangers of this program and who have helped me understand the fallacies even in my own way of eating.

Have I made mistakes in the past? Absolutely. I would not be human if I had not made mistakes. One of my mistakes just happens to be a lot more public than others. I, however, have peace. I know that my mistakes are forgiven. I have a Lord who forgives me and has given me forgiveness for those who have wronged me. I do not harbor any bitterness. I do however, have compassion and concern for those I feel are being wronged and harmed. I want to make sure that I take full responsibility for my wrongs or misleading; and, as long as I have a voice, I will fight for them. I will expose the dangers of falling prey to a scammer and to a very low calorie diet.

Don’t go anywhere folks… the story’s not over yet.

I'm so sorry....

2008-04-30T23:11:00.001-05:00

My heart is aching tonight. I am so broken over any pain or hurt that I have caused many of you. I am so sorry I am that I delayed “Thank You’s” to all who helped my family during the aftermath of our accident. One of my many human downfalls is and has always been promptness in sending Thank You notes. I realize now that my neglect was wrong, it was rude, and has caused much distress to some very generous and kind hearted people. I hope that you will accept this apology and please forgive me for not acknowledging you sooner. I hope that you have all received my email by now, and if you have not, please forward your personal email address to me at: bear-family@sbcglobal.net. I want to personally send you an apology as well.

I know that many of you are curious and hurt by my recent activities regarding the upcoming Low Carb Community Cruise. The first cruise that I went on at the beginning of the year was paid for as a gift from a friend, and it was a welcome relief after all that I had been through over the previous couple of months. I was only excited that my injuries from the accident had not hindered my ability to go. That trip was such a success that the organizer of the latest cruise this year has asked for my assistance in gathering the community together and preparing the “Low Carb Community” activities and gathering on board. This cruise is NOT paid for yet. The only way that I will be able to attend is if we have a large enough group attending, which, as participating group organizer, will allow me to receive compensation for my work.

I have done all I know to do to express my most sincere gratitude to everyone who assisted my family during the time after our accident. I do not know who all the donors are, I can only say thank you here publicly on my blog, and send emails now to those who I had contact information for, both of which I have done. I apologize again if my participation in the community cruise gathering was confusing or distressing to any of you.

My vision for this cruise was and is still a gathering together of a community. We are a diversified group. But we are strong, and we are learning. Day by day, we learn from each other how to live a healthier and more productive lifestyle. My inspiration was that no matter what forum, no matter what low carb program you chose, we can still encourage each other. We can still support each other in our communal effort to make a better, healthier life for ourselves and our families.

Once again, I beg your forgiveness for my absent mindedness, and pray for your support as we work together, shoulder to shoulder, educating and inspiring towards a healthier and more contented life.

Gratitude.... and Overcoming.

2008-04-29T14:51:00.005-05:00

January 1, 2008. A day that will haunt my memory probably till the end of my life. I wanted to take a few moments now to share with you my recollection of what happened and of the week and events that happened after the accident, and give everyone an update on our status as we stand now almost 5 months later.

We were headed home from spending Christmas with our families. The back end of our car was cramped with gifts. We had a foam "sofa bed" wedged in between the kids car seats in the back of the car. It was about 8:00PM and I was very tired and worn out from the previous week's excitement. I checked to make sure my husband, who was driving, was OK, and then decided to doze off as we still had a little over an hour left in our drive home. I placed my feet on the dash of the car and proceeded to fall asleep.

I woke with a jolt to realize that we had gone off the side of the road and were barrelling down the grassy shoulder. I saw a road-sign quickly approaching and yelled what I can only imagine to be the equivalent of "Watch Out!" The car tilted and fishtailed and I saw headlights in my window... then darkness.

What followed is only as clear to me as a bad dream. Voices... Seeing my brother-in-law at the foot of my bed... pain... bright lights...

The first few days after the accident I was in and out of consciousness. I awoke in the hospital after being Life-Flighted there with my family and I am told that my first questions were about the safety of my children and my husband. I do not remember much about this time, but I do remember flashes and pieces. I remember waking and seeing blood and lacerations on my hand. My eye hurt, I remember putting my hand up to it and feeling the stitches. I scratched my head and felt the dried blood and bits of glass. My mother was there, and my sister. They were taking care of me. The first 2 mental evaluations were not good. There was concern I might have brain damage. But... after 3 days... it all started coming back.

I was sent home on the fourth day with instructions that I had a severe head injury and must take it easy. Once home, I was disoriented and in pain. I just wanted to sleep. I went to bed however the next morning I woke up horrifically nauseated and my head hurt terribly. My family made the decision to take me back to the hospital where it was discovered that my brain was still swollen and had been bleeding. I spent 3 more days in the hospital.

During that visit, I was overwhelmed with love and kindness. My family and my in-law family went above and beyond taking care of us. For some reason I was not worried about the presents and possessions we had lost. I knew God would take care of us. I was only grateful that my children had come away COMPLETELY unharmed. My husband only sustained a minor concussion. As I know most other mothers would agree... if it is a matter of me sustaining the injury and my children being unharmed.. then I am blessed.

It was during this stay and after I was finally released to come home that I learned of the incredible kindness and generosity of my online family as well. My friend and fellow low-carber Jimmy Moore rallied and set up a gift fund for my family. I wanted to take a moment here and express my most sincere and heartfelt thanks to all who contributed to that. I do not know who all of you are, but I want you to know that your gift was so appreciated. Hospitals can be pretty demanding about handing them a nice sum even before you are discharged, so please accept my humblest THANK YOU, for helping us during that time. God used you to touch not only my life, but that of my children, husband, extended family, and even my community. I pray that you will be vastly and exponentially rewarded for your generosity and compassion.

A month after the accident, I felt well enough that I thought I might be able to begin to resume life as "normal." I went back to work at my evening job waiting tables at a local restaurant. After my first day on my feet, I realized that all might not be as well as I had hoped. I went back to my doctor to confirm my fears. Because my legs had been on the dashboard when the airbags went off, my ACL tendon in my left knee was torn again. I also found out that I was going to have to have another surgery on my eye that had been cut as well... so I was facing two more surgeries.

I have always been one to try to see the positive in a situation or what I can learn from it. Many would say that I was foolish for having my legs on the dash. Not that I would recommend that way of travel.... but in this particular case, had they been on the floorboard, they would have been crushed. I can count my blessings now that a torn ACL is the extent of that injury and I will walk and even run again versus what the consequences could have been if my legs were crushed.

I had the surgery on my eye about 6 weeks ago, and my ACL reconstruction surgery was 5 weeks ago today. My eye (tear duct repair on the upper and lower ducts), unfortunately, was only about 50% successful. The top tear duct was beyond repair, however, the bottom duct was only clogged and they were able to correct that issue. I am still adjusting to a bit more tearing in that eye, but it is a minor issue to learn to live with. I have been in therapy 3 days a week to re-gain the use of my left leg and it is going very well. I have maybe another month of therapy and am excited that the progress is already evident.

I hope I didn't leave anything out. But, I especially wanted to say "Thank You" again with all my heart to all my dear friends who gave out of the kindness of their hearts to my family in the time following our accident. I wish that I could meet each one of you personally and thank you and give you a hug. My life has been nothing short of a cyclone over the last year, however, I am positive that I am moving forward in the highest anticipation and expectation over what God is going to be doing in the future. The generosity that was shown to me during this time affirmed to me the growing feeling that I have had that ours is a close-knit community: a virtual family. No matter what "home-group" you belong to.... Low Carb Friends, Active Low Carber, Eating Low, Livin Low Carb Discussion, Camp... we are a living thriving community who take care of each-other in a time of need and turmoil as you did for me.

God bless you all my friends and keep you safe and healthy as we learn to live this Low Carb Life together.

I was "Semi-Starving"

2008-04-15T13:02:00.003-05:00

It is a well known and well published fact that Heidi Diaz of the Kimkins Diet does not believe in what the medical community deems "Starvation Mode." This was one of the topics that I addressed to her in the letter which resulted in my termination. Although there is plenty within the scientific community to prove and explain this phenomenon, Heidi has always held to that these beliefs were falsehoods and that "she didn't buy into it."

Here is just some of what she claims to believe (taken from conversation with Kimkins Admins, August 1, 2007):

"We are low calorie after ketosis kicks in or with the shake option, but those calories are identical to post-WLS patients (500 cal a day for months), original Optifast and Medifast (450-700 cal a day for months).

I don't think we can fight the "1200 calorie a day mentality". Some people cannot understand that your body takes the calories it needs from body fat if the calories you eat are too low to sustain current weight. If you need 2500 calories (250 lb person) and eat 500 (number picked for easy math), the other 2000 are taken from body fat....

I don't believe in starvation mode. I cannot and will not say anything about minimum calories. A grilled chicken breast and a 1 cup USDA serving of mixed greens is 200 calories. It just is. Adding fats or starches isn't "healthier" to up the calories."

Heidi would also regularly compare victims in concentration camps surviving on 300-600 calories or less a day. What she failed to acknowledge in this analogy was that most of those prisoners DIED. Many due to starvation. It was because of those horrible restrictions that the Geneva Convention specifically addressed the treatment of POW's and their dietary needs.

I have often compared the symptoms that many people have experienced utilizing the low calories that NATURALLY come by using the Kimkins program, to the side effects experienced by anorexics. I have seen bits and pieces of the scientific studies on this, however none more concise than those found in a study recently provided to me by a reader here on my blog.

"Sixboymom said:

Christin, I'm not sure if you remember me, I'm sixboymom from the kimkins site. Anyway, I read this article yesterday, and it explained to me what I went through after starting Kimkins the first time. I never got as bad as the sever cases, but I did develop MANY of the symptoms. I wanted to pass along for other Kimkins survivors to see.

The Effects of Semi-Starvation"

This study, performed on men, consisted of restricting their calories to HALF of what they were accustomed to eating. If these participants were eating according to average consumption for men, that would be approximately 3000 calories. Half would then be about 1500 calories for the purposes of a SEMI-STARVATION study. This is more than DOUBLE what the average person on a strict Kimkins diet is eating.

Many of these symptoms I experienced and didn't even realize that it was due to my eating habits. For example:

"One of the most of the striking changes that occurred in the volunteers was a dramatic increase in food preoccupations. The men found concentration on their usual activities increasingly difficult, because they became plagued by incessant thoughts of food and eating."

"...as well as corresponding declines in interest in sex and activity during semistarvation"

"They made what under normal conditions would be weird and distasteful concoctions," (This reminded me of the "weird" concoctions that I made while participating in the Egg White Challenge)

"Sexual interests were likewise drastically reduced....One subject graphically stated that he had 'no more sexual feeling than a sick oyster.'... The fact that starvation perceptibly altered sexual urges and associated conflicts is of particular interest, since it has been hypothesized that this process is the driving force behind the dieting of many anorexia nervosa patients."

"As the 6 months of semistarvation progressed, the volunteers exhibited many physical changes, including gastrointestinal discomfort; decreased need for sleep; dizziness; headaches; hypersensitivity to noise and light; reduced strength; poor motor control; edema (an excess of fluid causing swelling); hair loss; decreased tolerance for cold temperatures (cold hands and feet); visual disturbances (i.e., inability to focus, eye aches, "spots" in the visual fields); auditory disturbances (i.e., ringing noise in the ears); and paresthesias (i.e., abnormal tingling or prickling sensations, especially in the hands or feet"

The list goes on. I would encourage you to take a few minutes to read this article as it is very informative. Thank you Sixboymom, yes, I do remember you. I hope that your health has turned around and that you are improving now. Heidi, I ask you again, please show me the proof that Starvation Mode does not exist. I would wager that you will be hard pressed to find it.

Hacker Alert!

2008-04-09T08:55:00.004-05:00

This is a public service announcement.

If you are a member of Jimmy Moore's site Low Carb Discussion dot com please be aware that the forum has been hacked. The person responsible is sending out a link to re-gain access to the forum. Please do not click on this link as it is a Trojan virus. If you have already clicked on the link and re-entered a password, please be sure to run a virus scan on your computer.

Jimmy will make it known on his blog when it is safe to return.

Thanks and have a great low carb day!

UPDATE!

It has been brought to my attention that a second round of emails was sent out by the hacker with another virus attached. As a reminder please do not open or click on any link sent from a "no-reply" address from Low Carb Discussion. Jimmy will be back in town at the beginning of next week. In the interim time, his admin is working diligently to repair the damage done and the latest update is that the hacker's IP has thus far been traced back near the Los Angeles area in California.

Jimmy will post on his blog as soon as it is safe to return.

UPDATE 4/18/2008

Jimmy and Christine have informed me that the new forum is almost ready to be operational! This good news is tainted however by another warning and alert. If you received the email from the hacker and happened to click on the link which contained the virus, it is strongly recommended that you review your bank account and/or paypal account. It has been reported that at least one person who opened the file has had their account drained. Please be very cautious and take the appropriate measures and means to protect yourself and your identity.

In Her Own Words...

2008-03-30T11:22:00.005-05:00

When I began my blog last September I named in “The Journey” inspired by Robert Frost’s classic poem: “The Road Not Taken.” The journey even over the last 6 months has been a learning experience to say the least. When making my decision about which way to take my life I was faced with some extraordinarily difficult decisions.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

I looked and looked at my options. However I was finally faced with a conflict. A conflict of spirit and conscience in knowing that by staying on the “easier” road that would not only provide financial security but fame and recognition, I would be sacrificing something much greater.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

We are told throughout life that the grass is always greener on the other side. We are tempted by the glamour and glitter of the easy way. I was baited with promises of money, notoriety, and authority. The road and journey I have chosen has not provided these things. However, it has made all the difference because of the joy that I have found in finally foreseeing a desire that I obtained as a child.

I used to tell people when I was little that I wanted to be a nurse because I wanted to help people. I know that “to help” is pretty vague, however that has always been my underlying drive. I believed when I began working for the Kimkins program that I was finally achieving that goal. This compounded my distress when I began learning of the complications that so many were developing by emulating me and my “success.” Instead of helping… I was harming.

It has been said that the reason that I have taken up the crusade to campaign and speak out against the Kimkins program is because I am mad at Heidi and that we have some kind of personal war between us. There is nothing farther from the truth. Yes I was angry and hurt when I discovered the truth about Heidi and the scam that is the Kimkins program. But what has hurt me even greater is the apparent disregard for those who have been hurt by utilizing the low calorie methods that are a result of using the Kimkins program.

In watching some of the deposition video last night I realized just how little the welfare of Kimkins members means to Heidi Diaz. Please take a few moments to watch this exclusive program put together by Insider Exclusive.

My heart is hurting today Heidi. This was never about you and me. This was never about “losing” my job. I knew when I wrote you in an attempt to answer the concerns and issues that were arising within Kimkins that it would be the end of our relationship. In this clip we were shown more of the deposition in which you admitted that your own privacy was more important to you than the truth to your members. Never mind that we had based our lives and health on what YOU had said and the “fact” that you had done it and were healthy and living well.

Current Kimkins members, Delaney, Gary and all others who continue to support Heidi and this program. Please take about 15 minutes or so and watch this clip. Listen to Heidi’s own words and really take some time to think about whether it is worth it or not. Is it worth your own health and that of many others supporting someone who, under oath, admitted that her “privacy” was more important than the health and well being of her members.

It wasn't to me.

So what do I do NOW????

2008-03-24T19:18:00.011-05:00

I have completed the surgical portion of my accident recovery and things are going well! The experiences of this last year have been extremely enlightening to me. So much so that I have decided to take my newfound passion and inspiration to a new level. I will be returning to college shortly to obtain a degree in health and nutrition. I would encourage anyone who is following a diet plan with such restrictions as Kimkins supplies to consult their doctor or a nutrition specialist to determine the proper way to add foods back in and re-gain a healthy manner of eating. Don’t go anywhere folks... There is still a battle to be fought, and healthy eating habits to learn and regain. Let us press forward to a happier healthier lifestyle together!

Happy Anniversary!

2008-03-10T09:31:00.003-05:00

A year has gone by. I still have a hard time believing it but, it's been an entire year that I have maintained my 100 pound weight loss. I have a mixed sense of emotions today as I think back over all that has happened this year. I am proud that I lost the weight of course, but not of the method in which I lost it. I am even prouder though that I have persevered and maintained my loss instead of giving up and giving in. I think I have learned more this last year than I have in the last 10 years. So without further ado, a humorous look at 10 things I've learned since leaving the Kimkins program.

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned Since Kimkins

10) Never trust a Russian Bride.

9) There are many ways to lose weight, starvation included, however not all methods come with a guarantee that you will retain your hair.

8) I did not get fat eating fruits and vegetables!

7) God has created a glorious rainbow of nutrition for me to partake in, and He intends for me to utilize it.

6) I can thoroughly enjoy eating healthfully using all 5 senses, and shift my focus from eating “because it’s there” to indulging in the satisfaction that nourishing my body provides.

5) There really are real people out there who do not lie about themselves or who they truly are, and they’re pretty darn nice too.

4) I must be more careful with my money.

3) Dizziness, nausea, and lightheadedness should NOT accompany NORMAL weight loss methods.

2) Food is to be savored with anticipation, not feared.

1) I am worth transforming my view of “me.” If I accept myself for who and what I am, I will only grow happier by treating myself right and losing/keeping weight off permanently for my own health and betterment.

Sensory Eating

2008-02-29T17:46:00.005-06:00

This last week I had the distinct privledge of joining quite a few of my fellow low-carber's (many of which are former Kimkins members) on an incredible cruise to Cozumel, Mexico. We had an incredible time, and on Sunday morning got together for a short encouragement meeting. During this time together, I was asked to say a word. I feel like this speech is relevent for all those who are learning to eat and develop a "normal" lifestyle no matter what diet program you are utilizing.

When I began my journey I thought that my goal was to get thin and be “normal.” Kate Harding in The Shapely Prose said:

“… the Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person – one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.” See also:
• When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage.
• When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted.
• When I’m thin, I won’t be depressed anymore.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be an adventurous world traveler instead of being freaked out by any country where I don’t speak the language and/or the plumbing is questionable.
• When I’m thin, I’ll become really outdoorsy.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be more extroverted and charismatic, and thus have more friends than I know what to do with. "

These were my perceptions. I did not realize at the beginning of my journey the transformation that would also need to change in my heart and head in order to begin a completely new relationship with food.

We has humans are created to experience life through our senses. We are find peace, tranquility, and comfort; as well as pain, sadness and chaos through the same input preceptors.

• Sight – We feel elation at the sight of a beautiful sunset. We are at peace when watching the ocean or a mountain vista. We also feel sadness and grief when we see turmoil and hardship. Our hearts ache for those we see wounded in a terrorist attack or struck by natural tragedy.
• Sound – We are inspired by a triumphant symphony and soothed by the sound of a peaceful brook or gentle waves breaking. By the same token, we feel the harshness of a jackhammer or screeching of grating metal.
• Smell – We place scented oils in our homes to create a tranquil atmosphere; roses, violet, vanilla, cinnamon and other soothing smells help to calm us and give us pleasant sensations. Who among us hasn’t turned their nose up, however, when passing a dead skunk or smelling burning rubber?
• Touch – A massage or soft sheets give us comfort. We go home at the end of a hard day and “get comfortable” by changing into looser less binding clothes. However, if there is a burr in those sheets, or your messus is untrained it can immediately turn those pleasurable incidents into harsh and painful experiences.

These above senses can either be used or abused respectively, however, in typical acceptable society for the most part; we utilize them for the appropriate uses that we were created to. The sense of TASTE is one in which I feel we, as an obese culture, have lost perspective on in recognizing the difference between savoring the pleasure of a decadent food, and over-indulging for the self-gratifying purpose of just experiencing “more.” Our civilization has become one of self-pleasure and self-service.

CS Lewis in his novel “Perelandra” wrote about a man who traveled to a distant planet and partook in consumption of a fruit that grew on a tree native to that planet. “It was like the discovery of a new genus of pleasures, something unheard of among men, out of all reckoning, beyond covenant. For one draught of this on earth wars would be fought and nations betrayed.” In experiencing this new pleasure this fruit bore him, the subject was almost overcome with the human urge to repeat the act immediately to experience the sensation again. He was then presented with a conflict and revelation; “Perhaps the experience had been so complete, that repetition would be a vulgarity…. This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards…”

Life cannot work backwards. We have forgotten the joy of appreciating the flavors that we are given in foods in hasty self-serving gluttony of wanting to experience the sensation again too quickly.

In this clip, Remy realizes that there is more to eating than just “horking” down his food. He discovers the unique flavors and learns a whole new appreciation for the culinary arts. A wine connoisseur does not gulp down his glass. He will take a little, and then anticipate and enjoy the other senses that accompany the taste. He smells it, swirls it in his glass, holds it in his mouth to experience all the flavors, and then moves on.

What would our lives be like if we captured each moment as an opportunity to make the absolute best of each situation? What would it do to our “dieting” experience if we transformed our thinking from I can’t have this or that… to I can have this? Then completely focus on the enjoyment of the food that you have selected.

The second part of this harmony is combining this new found excitement and enjoyment of food with anticipation and knowledge of what your body needs. Make peace with food. We need it to survive and have been given an incredible gift to enjoy our sustenance. We could have been created like other animals without taste buds and only the instinct to eat to survive. While that is still the primary purpose of eating, we are set apart from other animals with this ability.

Depravation is distinctly different than anticipation. What you keep in your house for daily consumption may be very different than what you have “boxed in” for others. One of my favorite desserts is carrot cake. My grocery store actually sells “individual” slices of cake that prior to losing my weight I was fond of purchasing. I no longer keep carrot cake around my home or chose to by those individual slices because I am aware of my own inability to maintain control when it is readily available. However, I have completely enjoyed the change of mentality when I allowed carrot cake to be one of my “special occasion” pleasures.

Several months ago, my husband and I attended a wedding rehearsal at which this particular cake was served as the dessert. I had a few bites of the cake and instead of “inhaling” the whole thing, I chose to chew very slowly and actually enjoy the flavor that it provided. I did not finish the entire piece because I did not need all of it to complete my enjoyment, however, I do look back with great pleasure at that incident, and I look forward with joy and anticipation to the next time.

Instead of saying that I CAN’T have a certain food, I say that I choose not to have it at this time, and find an alternative. I know what that carrot cake tastes like. The flavor will not change. It will still be carrot cake a week, 3 months, or a year from now. I can avoid the guilt of indulging in it regularly and instead turn that guilt into satisfaction and joy in knowing that I have anticipated and allowed myself the pleasure in due time.

Being fit is a journey with ups and downs, mountains and valleys. I have found that the journey is made much more enjoyable by learning to focus on the experience rather than attempting to “take it all in.” I learned that that “fantasy” of being thin was nothing more than an illusion that quickly dissipated and could have been very discouraging had my mindset towards wellness not shifted. We can be happy in our pursuit to a healthy weight by accepting the way we were made, and learning to distinguish between satisfaction and over-indulgence.

This has been a long year with more roller coasters and twists and turns then I could have ever anticipated. But, we are here. We are on the road to a better us. And, we have each-other to support, encourage, and push along the road. Thank you for sharing in my journey with me.

My Confession

2008-02-08T16:36:00.000-06:00

It is time for me to share something with you. I am coming clean about the excruciating difficulty that I have had in maintaining my weight loss that I obtained utilizing a Very Low Calorie Diet such as Kimkins. The road has been far from an easy transition. We think when we are on the road to losing weight that once we attain our goal that life will somehow magically get easier.

There are many people within the Kimkins forums even at this time that are bypassing or ignoring the warnings of various side effects that may occur while utilizing the diet for the mere idealism that, “It’s working for me. I’m losing weight, so a side effect is a short term sacrifice.” But there is one side effect from using this program is not spoken of often and I’m afraid is one of the most mentally demoralizing that can come from achieving weight loss from the Kimkins diet program. That is the inability to maintain the weight loss. Or at the least, maintenance with an agonizing amount of effort.

I have a hobby that most people do not know about me. I am an artist… and not just any artist. I am a cake decorator. My confectionary creations are my art. They are each works of love and I put a tremendous amount of pride and effort into each one that I make.

On one occasion I was hired to provide a Barbie cake for a sweet 4 year old little girl. I worked on that piece with much joy and anticipation knowing how happy it would make that little girl. I made a mistake however, in the delivery of that cake when instead of the safer route of placing the cake on the floorboard of my car; I was in a hurry and opted to place it in the passenger seat next to me. The inevitable happened, and a car stopped quickly in front of me. In order to avoid a collision I too stepped quickly on my brakes. The force of gravity was too strong, and the cake slid off the seat and onto the floor upside down. I decided to take the easy and quick solution and ended up not only losing what I’d worked so hard for; but I also lost my profit from the cake, and disappointed a precious little girl.

The reason for my story is this. Why would we labor and put effort into something that means much more to us than a cake (our bodies and lives), if the method in which we choose to better ourselves in actuality sets us up for almost inevitable failure?

Weight loss is a very personal and difficult journey in and of itself. We work hard. We sacrifice, we get discouraged, we get excited, we laugh, we cry, we push ourselves farther than we thought we could go. But what does all that hard work profit us if it is not met with some sort of reward? As exciting and rewarding as achieving a goal weight is, it is also worthless if that goal is not maintained. The true prize in a weight loss journey is sustaining that loss and better health for the rest of our lives.

The transition from weight loss to a maintenance lifestyle should be smooth and painless. It should allow freedom and excitement in a new way of life. It should not be confusing and discouraging. One of the hardest things for me to hear is when people disregard the warnings about the dangerous side effects from the Kimkins program by rationalizing that I lost the weight and “it worked for me,” especially since I have kept the weight off for almost a year now. What most people do not know, is that it has taken me an entire year to even moderately repair the damage that my metabolism endured by losing weight the way I did. My transition into maintenance was/is EXTREMELY slow and difficult. The fear to add in any foods warred with the head knowledge that I HAD to eat something. Even now, I am still not in the position that most hope for to be able to eat “normally.”

Kimkins has NO maintenance program. The guidelines that were provided at one point in time were actually written by me, and were removed very quickly after I left the program. I am not a dietician or physician, so I have no doubt that even the guidelines that I was lead to believe were appropriate were lacking in nutritional value. Most of my friends and acquaintances who have since come off of the Kimkins program and resumed eating “normally” have either completely halted their weight loss efforts, or put back on the majority of the weight that they initially lost. Through our discussions we all agree that it would have behooved us to have lost the weight that we did utilizing a program that would not have set us up for such heartache.

So yes, it might be working for you. Yes, you may be losing weight rapidly and ignoring the other warnings. You may view me and those with me who oppose the Kimkins program as hateful because we have discouraged the only program you think will work for you. But, I must ask you to step away for a moment and glance into the future. How will you maintain your loss? Praying that you do not suffer any other side effects that many, if not most, of us have suffered; how will you sustain the joy of your new body? No one wants to have to continue a diet indefinitely. I certainly do not want to have to resort to reducing my caloric intake again such as I did with Kimkins merely to get off the holiday 10lbs. That is a miserable existence.

Think of yourself in 1, 3, or 5 years. Where do you want to be personally? I only wish the best for those of you who are still traveling the weight loss portion of your journey. I pray that you will not struggle as I have to sustain the tremendous effort that you have put in to reach your goals. As for me…. My metabolism will repair eventually. It will take time, and great care and attentiveness, but, I am confident that I will get there someday. I hope you are there sooner.

Good Morning America - The TRUTH addressed

2008-01-21T08:45:00.000-06:00

I have almost been at a loss concerning what to say today. There has been much on my mind since I participated in this interview for Good Morning America. I've been troubled by the smoke screen obscuring the truth versus multiple fabrications regarding the Kimkins diet. Because of these questions and discrepancies, I want to address several "points" of argument that continue to surface following any media coverage of the Kimkins controversy.

I have been accused of many things. Most center around the assumption that I have some sort of hidden agenda or motive in exposing issues regarding Heidi Diaz's presentation of the Kimkins diet. My reason remains that many people still sign up for this program who simply print out the food lists and guidelines and put it in practice. These silent people get sick without understanding why. These unheard voices may be saved by the continuing exposure of real dangers in the fundamentals of this program.

The following are the claimed "discrepancies" and my response to the accusations:

1) "There is no 500 calorie limit. I was never told to starve myself."

Well, of course you weren't. No one would be interested in a program where people are told to NOT EAT. Heidi's gimmick emerges as admins advise fervent, intense dieters to "only eat when you are hungry," while failing to define what true hunger signals. Diaz published an article on the "'myth' of starvation mode" (her idea: one cannot starve if any fat reserves remain in the body) in order to hook dieters into believing that fat people cannot eat too little. Members are told to eat when hungry, but to also determine if the "hunger" feeling is real or psychological. That is where the tricks of a cup of chicken broth (Kimmer's Egg Drop Soup = 1 cup chicken broth and 1 egg or egg white. UNDER 50 calories with 1 egg white) or Crystal Lite come in.

NO one is told to keep calories under a certain amount, but given the food lists and choices available, that is where they naturally fall because "I'm not hungry" usually comes before a desire to eat one more lean protein portion. In this post that I made last year I described how even with my calories BELOW 400 on average, Heidi encouraged me to limit my protein servings and cut foods with any fat out of my diet, completely in contradiction to the current claim of "I'm never told to eat less." This advice prior to October, 2007 was standard.

Here are Heidi Diaz' own words regarding the low calorie aspect of the Kimkins diet:

"We are low calorie after ketosis kicks in or with the shake option, but those calories are identical to post-WLS patients (500 cal a day for months), original Optifast and Medifast (450-700 cal a day for months)."

The difference? Those who are on a post-WLS diet are under STRICT doctors supervision and the do not remain on those diet plans for an unspecified period of time. Even those following a shake diet program are encouraged to eat a normal, HEALTHY BALANCED meal for dinner.

2) "We never recommend laxative use unless someone has constipation issues."

This statement actually has two parts. The second part of the phrase included the innuendo from Heidi to the moderators "... or unless someone reports that they are stalled." Along with a request to view the dieter's Fitday or food journal would be a question regarding regularity many if not most times accompanies with a version of the following instructions (Heidi's words):

"but all I'm suggesting is someone take a regular dose for 1-2 days and then a 25-50% dose each day after. The member who's doctor prescribed a laxative (which is stronger than what can bought over the counter) and to take full strength daily. Stores are full of laxatives and those people aren't all doing Kimkins."

In closing, I would like to direct your attention to this blog, published today by former Kimkins member "Regandy." In this post, "Regandy" describes the emotional and psychological damage that comes very frequently from following a program such as Kimkins. I can completely empathize with Regandy in this post. The road to maintaining my weightloss has been rocky at best. I know all to well the difficulties that come after a metabolism is damaged following a program such as Kimkins. All though there are still people utilizing this program to lose weight, their road has only just begun. Using the Kimkins program establishes a maintenance disability. It enables a fear of adding in any "normal" foods. When those attempting to add foods to their diet do, they see a shocking result on the scale.

It is because of these continued arguments and discrepancies, and because of those struggling to regain their daily lives that I continue to speak out regarding my experience with the Kimkins program and Heidi Diaz.

Why.... The Risks ARE Real.

2008-01-10T17:33:00.000-06:00

Many times I am asked why I am continuing to spread the word about my fears regarding the Kimkins program and sharing what I feel are the very real and present dangers regarding the eating issues that can arise utilizing it as written. I want to share some of my motivation with you today. It is not often that I share photos of my family here in my blog, but these people are some of the most important people in the world to me.

This photo was taken about 2 and ½ hours prior to our accident on January 1 of this year. From my grandparents, to my parents, to all 5 of my siblings plus their spouses… these incredible people are why I do what I do. Standing by a loved one suffering is heartbreaking, no matter what precipitated it, but no family should have to endure watching a loved one endure the self-inflicted illnesses many Kimkins users have experienced. Each member of my family was worried about my emerging anorexia/bulimia. All expressed their concerns for my health and eating disordered methods and mentalities.

So why did I blog about Kimkins from my hospital room? Because I was overwhelmed with love, support and kindness from my family and those closest to me. I could imagine another family sitting in a similar hospital room watching their loved one suffer from a preventable eating disorder or a side effect from disordered type of behavior, and I felt that warnings must continue to be given.

If you have a loved one who is suffering, or if you have concerns or questions regarding the warning signs of these behaviors, please feel free to contact me through my blog or send me an email. I’d love to help however I can, whether through a listening ear, understanding shoulder, or caring hand.

New Year - NEW LIFE

2008-01-07T15:02:00.000-06:00

As I write this post, I am lying in a hospital bed recovering from an auto accident that occurred on January 1 of this year. Praise the Lord, my injuries are the worst of my entire family and are minimal compared to what could have taken place. Here is a photo of my family’s vehicle after the accident (my husband was driving and my 2 young children, ages 2 and 4, were riding in the back seat).

My injuries involve an acute concussion, swelling and contusions in my brain, laceration to my right eye, and severe bruising over my entire body, that will all take time to heal.

These days in the hospital, however, have given me time to reflect over this last year. Over the course of 2007, I have lost 100 pounds. I have fallen prey to one of the most incredible diet scams of the internet community, I have been on the front cover of a magazine, and in national news, yet, for what cause?

As a formerly habitually overweight person, I too know the pain and turmoil that comes from living that lifestyle. As I have said in my testimony previously, I have yo-yo dieted my entire life. I never seemed to find “that one magic bullet.” I am here to tell you now, there IS NO MAGIC BULLET. I thought I had found it, I thought I found my one answer. I lost weight, but not until after my “success” did I realize the damage that I had done to my body through the diet. Here I am almost 1 year later and I am still struggling daily to maintain and keep a grasp on my weight. It is NOT EASY.

There are many timelines across the internet which will provide you with great detail into how this twisted story unfolded, so I will simply share a short synopsis from my experience:

The Kimkins diet program was started by Heidi Kimberly (Kimmer) Diaz several years ago during a dieting stint in an internet community called Low Carb Friends. Never actually having successfully completed the program, Ms Diaz gave the appearance of being her diet’s ‘leading lady,’ completing and maintaining her loss for at least 5 years. This led to Ms Diaz’ rising popularity as “one with answers” within the internet weight loss community.

Soon Ms Diaz took her program and created a new website. She touted her weight loss “success” and popularity as basis for creating her own pay-per-membership website. The rising popularity of her program reached its peak when it achieved national recognition on Woman’s World Magazine in June of 2007 with the byline “Better Than Gastric Bypass.” This title led to an explosion of Kimkins membership with led to an estimated $3 million in revenue for Ms Diaz. The hitch?

1)Ms Diaz never lost her claimed weight to begin with.

2)The diet program is unsafe and can cause severe damage beginning with slow, unrecognized starvation and malnutrition.

Through the next few months, the dangers of this program became increasingly evident as more members began complaining of the same symptoms and side effects. Slow and steady starvation methods utilizing a caloric intake of significantly less than 1000 calories a day was the norm. The daily intake of less calories and less fat was not only encouraged, but praised as new members began to feel “snatty” (Slightly Nauseous All The Time), lightheaded, and generally weakened. Tips for controlling hunger varied but all were primarily synonymous with little to no caloric intake. All for the sake of losing weight fast. But at what cost to the individual’s physical and psychological condition?

Disguised eating disorders emerged; serious malnutrition indicators like hair loss, heart palpitations, electrolyte and potassium deficiencies were commonly reported. I did not learn of the potentially deadly side effects of my eating habits till after I completed the program. I had shrugged the symptoms that I had off as “typical” or short term.

Bottom line, starvation works to take off pounds – here, just like in Ethiopia or Dachau. The difference is that in those sad places, the people knew they were starving. Kimkins moderators are merely overweight peers with eating disorders of their own (speaking from personal experience), completely unqualified to assess what constitutes nutritional dangers.

Do not let the tantalizing beauty of rapid weight loss hinder the ultimate goal of a better life and good health.

There are many effective and safe weight loss programs out there today. Diet responsibly; do your research; always remember to speak with your physician regarding your plans. Do not desperately trade obesity for broken health.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-22T22:34:00.000-06:00

To my fellow travelers... I wish you a peaceful and joyous holiday. May it be filled with love and comfort. May your time be spent with those whom you love and who love you. May this next year be full of happier times, successes and triumphs. Please take some time over this next week to reflect on those who are most important to you and what this time of year means to all of us. Let us not forget those who cannot be with their loved ones right now. To those of you who are away from your loved ones or separated from them either temporarily or longer... I pray for peace and comfort. I pray for love and fond remembrance of holidays past. Let us approach the New Year with resolve. For the good and the bad, for ups and downs, for goodness and hope for a brighter future; I wish you all the best this Christmas season.

For unto us a child is born and His name shall be called Immanuel... God With Us.

Peace on Earth and Good Will to all (Low Carb) men.

No one is above the law...

2007-12-16T17:42:00.000-06:00

It is hard for me to understand how many people feel that they are somehow immune to the laws and regulations that govern our country. Without them, we would have nothing but chaos and disorder. This country was founded on morals and principles which, for the most part, we subscribe to in an effort to live peaceably and in harmony with our fellow citizens. There are those, however, who feel that they are above those laws and have a skewed view of what constitutes moral and legal behavior.

The actions and behaviors of Heidi (Kimmer) over the last several years have demonstrated that she feels she is not susceptible to same moral standards that most of us attempt to uphold.

The following is an excerpt of a conversation that we held on August 14th of this year, in which Heidi attempted to explain to me why it would be "impossible" for anyone to bring a class action lawsuit against her and Kimkins. I would also like to demonstrate the encouragement within this conversation for a menu for a Kimkins Boot Camp example that is barely over 700 calories. In the menu that I give in this example, I was attempting to put together a menu that was OVER 700 calories. It was very difficult, but notice that instead of encouraging larger portions and higher calories, Heidi was very ENCOURAGING of my attempts to put together a "safe" but still low calories boot camp menu.

Heidi: :)
2:08 PM christin, have time for Law 101?
2:13 PM me: sure
:)
Heidi: in a nutshell, there can be no class action suit or any lawsuit
first they have to prove causation. very difficult. then proximate cause. even harder.
2:14 PM then there's "but for ..." hardest of all.
but let's say they do that. where will they get a lawyer?
if you were in a bad car accident -- broken arm, concusion but hit by a poor person with no insurance
you COULD NOT get a lawyer. there's no 'recovery'.
2:15 PM there's no money to receive.
it's the same with kimkins. there's no $$$.
they don't even have jurisdiction.
me: all that... for a $60 refund ;) nope... not worth it
Heidi: no lawyer would touch it. they don't even know who "kimmer" is.
2:16 PM well, in a real class action suit the company is ordered to pay legal costs. but who will pay?
did you see that petition?
what the hell kind of petition is that?
me: I haven't looked at it today
Heidi: the FDA must be laughing their a$$ off.
2:17 PM me: :) we're not offering any FDA regulated products ;)
Heidi: we will do what we can with XXXXXX XXXXXX, which probably isn't much.
and then move on. same as with XXXXXX.
me: right
Heidi: i haven't replied on purpose. and i'm sure it's making 'somebody' very mad. :)
me: lol
2:18 PM Heidi: anyhow, bottom line for today's law lesson: no recovery, no lawyer
me: hey... how's this sound for an "acceptable" boot camp menu:
bfast: 2 egg omlete w/ 1/2 cup tomatoes, 2 oz lean ham
2:19 PM lunch, 4oz ground turkey "taco" salad, 2 cups mixed greens and 1 tbls of salsa for "dressing"
Heidi: 1/2 cup tomatoes is half of list 2 veggies for the day?
me: yes
Heidi: k, go on
me: dinner 4 oz grilled dill salmon and a 2cup spinach salad
Totals:
2:20 PM cals 705, fat 35g, carb 11g, protein 82
Heidi: not bad!
2:21 PM sorry, addition to law lesson for today
me: this also does not include the dressing on the spinach salad ;)
Heidi: have you ever sued anyone? or family court?
me: no
Heidi: ahhh, ok.
when you file "moving papers" (lawsuit)
me: I have testified in a restraining order hearing.. that's about it
2:22 PM Heidi: you have to make allegations. they must be substantiated.
me: backed up w/ doctors reports etc
Heidi: not just that
1) prove their health before kimkins
2) prove that "but for" doing kimkins they would not have damages
2:23 PM 3) MUST have damages (be hurt)
all of this takes $$$. they have to hire a doctor, get tests, deposition of doctors & whoever they can find at kimkins ;)
2:24 PM AND doctors & experts testify at 4 hour minimum increments. $300-500/hr, $1500 a day
plus their initial filing fees
no lawyer will take that on if they can't recover the $$$
me: of course not!
Heidi: want proof (lol, like you're calling me a liar)
when you're bored with nothing to do today :D
2:25 PM call a local attorney make up a story
me: yeah... cause I ain't got nothing else to do ;) LOL
Heidi: "i was in an accident today blah blah and make it bad ... tell him that the driver is uninsured and so are you."
see how far you get.
2:26 PM technically you can get a judgment and sue the person in court. but so what? how would you get your $$? can't.
it's called "deep pockets". kimkins doesn't have any pockets. :)
honestly, i'm not as dumb as they all think i am
me: LOL Don't have to tell me that!
2:27 PM Heidi: XXXXXXXXXX's husband is a lawyer. you don't notice him jumping on the lawsuit bandwagon.
me: that does put my mind at ease though a bit... I think anyone even attemptin such a thing right now would get really discouraged really fast
Heidi: listen
me: so thanks for the lesson!
Heidi: there's nothing for them to do BUT
2:28 PM if anything ever happened and you were involved, i'm here for you $$$

Heidi at this point obviously thought that she was above even consideration for a class action lawsuit, not to mention criminal legal action.

In the last week I have observed many actions for which I am saddened. It is important to remain focused. The purpose and internal wheels have not ceased. There are many important factors to take into consideration when shutting down an illegal operation such as Kimkins. This is the time to continue to remain focused on getting the word out about the dangerous program that is still taught and demonstrated within the Kimkins website and forums, and preventing others from falling prey.

I again want to stress the importance to those out there who have not already, to join the class action lawsuit that HAS been filed against Heidi Diaz and Kimkins. If Heidi is to be stopped, then action must be taken.

Ready for the Holidays?

2007-12-11T11:27:00.000-06:00

As I stated in a previous post, the holidays can be very difficult for all of us when it comes to learning to eat healthy. Please join me today as I join Connie Bennet, Author of "Sugar Shock!"; Jimmy Moore of Livin La Vida Low Carb; Laura Dolson from About.com Low Carb journalism; and Judy Barnes Baker - author of "Carb Wars: Sugar Is the New Fat" cookbook; to discuss surviving the holidays living a low carb, sugar free lifestyle.

The show will air live at 3:00 EST and can be found here:

Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show

If for some reason you miss the show, you can listen afterwards HERE.

Here is the link for the promotional write up the Connie has posted on her blog: Low-Carb Experts Help You Survive Sweet Holiday Temptations on the Stop SUGAR SHOCK! Radio Show Tomorrow

Forgiveness and Clarity

2007-12-04T20:14:00.000-06:00

Due to the events over the last few days it is important to me to re-visit what the intention of my blog is. The title of my musings is “The Journey.” I began by taking the road less traveled and it has rarely taken me where I thought I would ever go. There have been tears, fears, excitements, joys, ups and downs, twists and turns. Many times the journey has resembled a roller coaster instead of a road. But, none-the-less, it is my journey to reconciliation and life after Kimkins.

Part of my journey has been a steady plea to those still involved in the program to recognize the deceptions that have taken place and are continuing to be prevalent within Heidi Diaz’ statements and business practices. It has never been my intention to attack any one person for falling prey to those deceptions. I only plead with them to listen to reason and to open their eyes to the possibility that they too may have been taken in.

I was reflecting over my journey for the last few months and came across this post: “The Excellence of Love” in which I go over a passage from 1 Corinthians 13. I am instructed to love. Love and forgiveness are the foundations of what gives my life purpose and clarity. They are what my Lord offers to me when I by no means deserve it. Who am I then, to withhold it from anyone else who has offended or done wrong by me? I cannot, because it goes against who I am and who God desires me to be.

This weekend I have communicated with the now former PR director of Kimkins, Jeannie Baitinger. She expressed to me her great grief over her involvement with Heidi Diaz. The following is an excerpt from a note she left me this morning:

“I was wrong to accuse you of any wrong doings. In fact, I can never apologize to you enough. You did say you forgive me and that means more to me than anything.”

“I will do everything I can to cooperate fully with John Teidt and that is a promise.”

“Your warmth and generosity really is amazing. I never expected you of all people to be there for me, yet there you were. I didn't deserve it at all… I was wrong, so wrong.”

Nehemiah 9:21

“But thou art a God of forgiveness. Gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness. And thou didst not forsake them.”

Jeannie, as we discussed, there are many questions to answer, and much to bring to light. I do forgive you, and without forgiveness, the path to our understanding would be foggy and indiscernible. Our clarity begins with an open heart.

Practical Problems

2007-11-24T11:07:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is scary. For anyone who has struggled with their weight, whether just a few pounds up and down… or the drastic weight loss winners… it’s scary. We know what happens at this time of the year. Inhibitions are mysteriously released and we lose control over the stuffing, potatoes and apple pie. (For my European readers bear with me, I do have a point.)

I have attempted to be as open as I can be regarding my status in maintenance since losing weight so drastically and quickly. But, one thing that I have never touched on is how very difficult learning how to eat properly again after a program such as Kimkins has been. I am not surprised at all at the statistics we see about those who have lost weight dramatically in a short period of time in their inability to keep the weight off. I will be the first one to tell you that it has been one of the hardest things that I have ever attempted and continue to struggle with.

The first area begins in the mind. I have mentioned before that I believed that Kimkins promoted eating disorders. Possibly even a new brand of eating disorder. My family will readily tell you how worried they were about me last Thanksgiving when all I would put on my plate was about 4oz of turkey. I stood my ground against them in my assurance from my mentor that as long as I had fat on my body that I would continue to burn that fat off my body at lightning speed. They saw what I failed to see. They saw already that I was developing a grossly skewed relationship with food and eating principles.

Because this mindset that was so fervently instilled in me, I literally became scared of food. When I hit my goal I knew that if I reverted to previous eating habits I would put the weight back on faster than it had come off. Therefore, I was faced with a new problem. How do I transition to a “normal” lifestyle after depriving myself of so many calories for so long?

Although it was promised, there was no maintenance plan for Kimkins. And, all that I received from Kimmer was the encouragement to simply add a little fruit and a yogurt and that would be enough to maintain me. I tried very hard to understand this, and after debating and working with Kimmer for a month or so… I asked her if I could work on a maintenance program that would be possible to transition off of that program and learn how to eat “normally” again. She agreed and I got to work.

The main source of my research was a book that I’ve been discussing throughout my blog titled “The Thin Commandments” by Dr Stephen Gullo. At the time of my transition I began reading this practical guide. Through utilizing Dr Gullo’s principles I began to see a glimmer of how to come about the correct way to view weight loss and maintaining it. I was able to address some of the psychological reasons behind why we gain weight back, and why I had such a difficult time previously losing the weight.
It was this book in particular that led me to some of the re-introducing principles that I incorporated into writing a maintenance program for Kimmer/Heidi. I worked a long time on developing a what I felt was workable, using myself as the “user” to determine if what I had put together would work. Little did I know that because of the mindset I had, and because of my body’s lack of nutrition, it would be extremely difficult for me to incorporate these principles.

What should have been simple math and only adding in a few additional calories ended up as a long and painful process. I could not add one additional food without a fear that it would be the one thing that would send me over the top in the battle to keep the weight off. My relationship with food is still rocky at best. While I have been able to maintain for almost 9 months, it is only by the grace of God that I have learned what I need to or can eat. I thank the Lord that I learned about Dr Gullo and his book. Without that, I would probably either still be lost in the proper way to incorporate healthy foods into my daily lifestyle and how to avoid those that I will have an issue with.

As far as the maintenance program that I wrote for the Kimkins program… it has since been removed. I pray that each person coming out of that program will really take their time and research the best way to re-incorporate a healthy lifestyle. It’s not easy. It is a daily battle and thought process that must take place.

As to my own eating disordered thought patterns, I am weekly working with my therapist now to remedy this. I have been diagnosed with Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with binge bulimic tendencies. This is a hard realization to come to. I never thought I would have such an issue, and prior to my weight-loss this was not a problem for me. Yes, I overate, but I was never scared to eat. I never had the fear that if I started I would not be able to stop. It will be an uphill process… but I am determined to see it through. Keeping the weight off is necessary for my emotional and psychological stability, and I WILL prevail.

As Dr Seagal from the Mike and Juliette show stated (paraphrased), this program (Kimkins) is nutritionally bankrupt. No self-respecting physician would be associated with it. I would add, any program that does not offer a do-able, sound maintenance program sabotages the possibility of sustainable weight management.

EDIT 11/26/2007: I just wanted to clarify. My above statement in regard to my diagnosed eating disorder with bulimic tendencies; I do not mean that I have "purged." There are many aspects to bulimia and purging is just one of those aspects. Although I will admit that the thoughts have been there for that type of behavior, by God's grace I have not succumbed. The bulimia tendencies in this instance are towards binging.

Misplaced Motivation

2007-11-19T14:56:00.000-06:00

"There is no sadder grief than that which lies at the bottom of a life that has been wrecked through deception"

~Lemuel K. Washburn

"An honorable man or woman is one who is truthful; free from deceit; above cheating, lying, stealing, or any form of deception. An honorable man or woman is one who learns early that one cannot do wrong and feel right. A man's character is judged on how he keeps his word and his agreements."

~Ezra Taft Benson

I feel the time is right for me to address the questions and concerns that have risen in regards to my motivation and purpose in my stance against the Kimkins diet and exposing Heidi Diaz. It is no secret that for the last year I was a avid supporter of the Kimkins diet. After all, I lost 100lbs. I was assured with absolute confidence that being overweight was far greater a risk than any I would subject myself to by utilizing this diet. So with much gusto and enthusiasm I embraced the teachings of "Kimmer" and touted them as she had instructed me.

I excitedly traveled to Los Angeles for the Woman's World photo shoot and believed with all my heart that I was helping motivate others to lose that dreaded fat through my actions. After all... Heidi had done it... she not only lost it but maintained it for 5 years! I was sure there was hope for me to finally win the battle of the bulge. I wrote my "How I Did It" thread again with enthusiasm and inspiration. All done with the encouragement and flattery that I was a "star." I was Heidi's cover girl and her pupil.

My participation in Kimkins was enthusiastic to say the least. So much so that the side effects/symptoms of malnutrition and starvation that I was experiencing I was grasping at every straw that I could to justify and explain what was happening to me. I went to my doctor to get a physical in July after being off of the program for 4 months. My blood work and other things all showed up ok and when I told my doctor about my weight loss... I simply explained it as "Lean proteins and veggies." He was fine with that, with only a passing comment about a high protein diet being ok for those who are "younger and more resilient." When my blood work came in ok I clung to that as validation that I was ok... however... my hair loss had still not slowed down and my menstrual cycle was still very irregular.

As the PR representative I began to do research with the rising "grumblings" against Kimkins and Kimmer, I felt it was my responsibility to "debunk" what I was told were misconceptions and misinformation's regarding the program. As I researched and began to delve into the issues arising in following a very low calorie diet such as Kimkins, I realized that I was not alone in my symptoms. I grew increasingly worried as I learned that the symptoms I was having were very much in line with those who suffered from eating disorders such as Anorexia.

Not long there after was when Becky left/was fired from the program. I had begun to see the person behind the mask. Although I had desperately wanted to believe Kimmer, and to question now was to go back on everything I had trusted in and based my life on for the last year, I knew that if I was to represent the company with integrity and present it (the Kimkins company) as an ethical and upstanding growing corporation, I must clear the air of the murk that was beginning to set in.

The last couple of weeks in August were agonizing for me emotionally as I gathered my thoughts and evidence for the questions that I had for Kimmer/Heidi. I knew based on Becky's experience that my asking would only have one result, and yet I still believed in the potential goodness of Heidi and I wanted desperately to believe that what I knew would happen wouldn't. However, my own experience was becoming a frightening reality and the questions within the boards of people becoming very ill and growing medical problems were too loud to ignore and the questions must be asked.

On September 3, 2007 while on vacation with my family and with many tears and great heaviness I submitted my questions to Heidi Diaz, knowing what the result would be for my "defiance" and inquiries. I have written about my questions previously but again listed for your review, I requested verification and documentation on the following points:

1) The safety of her claims regarding laxative use.

2) The claim that the program was technically "doctor approved" because it was based off of programs written by doctors, and a statement that a doctor's approval for the program was long overdue. I also requested a copy of the email that she had claimed to have sent to a bariatric specialist

3)Documentation that the program (being low cal) was safe "no mater if your 14 or 84."

4) The issue that had arisen regarding teens utilizing the website and her encouragement to continue on the plan when she had clearly stated that teens were not allowed.

5) Questions followed up with examples clearing the air regarding her identity as Heidi Diaz.

Here is the response that I received from Heidi about 30 minutes after I asked those questions:

"I understand that you're a person of integrity and it seems you've had a
nice life (meaning you might be a bit protected or naive -- which is nice!)...

...You will discontinue as Director of Media & PR. I have someone in
mind who can step in...."

In a following email:

"...I don't see that there's a future for you with Kimkins unless you can
come up with something that wouldn't jeopardize your integrity..."

So am I a disgruntled employee? No. Since I left Kimkins I have had almost daily contact with people who have been hurt. Physically, emotionally, and psychologically from this woman and this twisted eating plan, and I am deeply saddened.

Shortly after returning from my "vacation" I decided that it was necessary for me to return to my doctor and come clean with what I had actually done. If you have followed my blog you know what the results of that meeting were. With tears and grief I shared my story with him and his concern was genuine.

My side effects, however scary, have been minimal compared to the stories that are coming to me. My heart breaks for these people, and they are crying out for a voice. If I was spared greater damage to be their voice, then so be it and I am prepared to do that for them.

My last point is this... you may look at me and say "Well look at her... she lost weight, she looks great... so what if she lost hair, periods, whatever... she's healthy now and has maintained it."

I cannot stress to you how difficult maintenance coming off of this program has been. I will be further blogging about my maintenance strategy at a later date, but the price has been high, and the road so much harder than weight loss ever was. Attempting to repair the damage that I had done to my body has been and continues to be a struggle.

I am not backing down. Yes, I promoted Kimkins. Yes, I believed at one time that it was a lifesaver for me. Knowing what I do now... would I do it again? I honestly don't know. Like so many overweight people today I was desperate. However, my motivation was Kimmer. Her claim to have lost the weight and kept if off... I would want to ask those using the program now though... what is the motivation... where is the proof that you will be safe after you lose the weight and how will you keep it off? A weight loss journey is not just the beginning... it has a middle and an end; it is a complete change in your way of life and thinking. What kind of life will a cycle of restrictive yo-yo eating be though?

I hope that I have been able to clear up some questions that have been circulating around. Please know that my motivation, although misplaced for a time period, has never been anything other than helping others make better lives for themselves.

For such a time as this.... I am prepared.

Purposes and PR

2007-11-13T20:22:00.000-06:00

I want to begin this blog by thanking the many many members of the Low Carb Community for your overwhelming support and kindness to me over the last few weeks. I have such a wonderful caring community, and I do value each of you.

As I was preparing for my trip to New York to be on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet I really had to search within myself for what exactly was my motivation for going on the show. I want to share with you all an email that I received this morning from a former Kimkins member, Tina AKA Lil_Red. Tina has been emailing me since I left Kimkins in an effort to determine and discover for herself where her own journey would take her. I want you to hear this in Tina's words as she describes what she has discovered about herself and this program that all of us were so convinced was our golden ticket to permanent weight loss:

"Hello ,
My name is Tina Coates aka Lil_Red. I wanted to write this out for everyone to see. I am not doing this to win brownie points with anyone, I am doing it for the purpose to let the past, present and future Kimkins users know that this is not a healthy nor safe diet. I joined Kimkins in June of 2007 withe same intent as everyone else; to lose weight as promised , fast and safe. I have since then started to have issues with my health. The first issue I had was about the end of July. I started to have really itchy burning skin. All over my body not just in one area. I first noticed it on my face. When I would scratch or rub it would burn and hurt like heck. I chalked it off to what others kept telling me "oh it's probably an allergy Lil_Red " , "what have you ate different?" I cut out things I thought it might be. That meant eggs, aspartame, splenda and I even avoided any contact with the sun, thinking it might be a sun allergy. Nothing worked. Continuing on to lose the unwanted lbs I started to experience hair loss. At first it was a couple of hairs here and a couple there. I thought nothing of it because I had thick hair. I use to joke around saying to my hair dresser "well, at least I will never go bald!" Now that just isn't funny anymore as I have little hair left. And yet, I continued on still to shed the lbs. I started to have chest pains , thinking it was around the gallbladder area I would go and have it looked at. I went in for the blood test and it is not my gallbladder. I am still uncertain what it is. I still get the pains and shortness of breath. I am hoping you will read my story and know this is for real. This is not a joke. And I am in no way saying this to get publicity nor am I saying this cause I had anything to do with Heidi aka "Kimmers". I am saying this to warn you peple this is dangerous. You can lose the weight in a healthy way. Thanks for reading my story."

Tina - you are not alone.

While on the show I was challenged by the new PR director of Kimkins, Jeannie AKA Tippy Toes, in my statement about how I hear every day of people being hospitalized, hurt, and sick through utilizing the Kimkins program. Jeannie, in answer to your request, I do hear you. I present for you though Tina, who is just one of many stories I have been witness to now since leaving Kimkins. Look around your forums. When I left, people were posting daily about issues that they were having looking for answers. Their bodies are screaming in malnutrition and they are simply encouraged to speak to their doctors. I understand that answer, and gave it myself even. But the issue does not lie there. The issue lies in the original problem, with the nutrient deficient program that they are following.

Kimkins as a diet is not stable. Yes, the "minimum" calorie count has been upped to 800. But I'm here to tell you, I put together, while I was still working for Kimkins, a Boot Camp Menu in an effort to "prove" that it could be done with a higher calorie count. Utilizing the specified protein limits and vegetable limits given for that option, I was only able to come up with a menu that totalled just over 700 calories. I have proof via screen shots of Heidi stating that the boot camp option usually averaged around 500 calories a day and that's the way it is. I'm sorry, but 2 cups of lettuce for lunch and dinner and 1/2 a cup of cooked veggies a day is NOT enough to provide the essential vitamins that our bodies need.

While the plans on the inside may be changing, what is published has not. What about all those who have joined, printed the lists, and taken them at face value. They put it on their refrigerator and read "no more than 20 carbs," and they take that as is, never coming on the forums to ask questions or for clarification. Kimmer (Heidi) herself adamantly insisted to myself, Becky, Deni, and other moderators that when you take her plans and tweak them, they are no longer Kimkins. You have now simply published a modified Atkins program which will leave you open for even further legal complications.

Yes, people are getting sick, and I have proof. Not from extremes, but from doing exactly what they have been told and understand. There is no amount of public relations spinning that can be done to give the peace of mind back to Tina that her health has not been harmed. It cannot give another member's gall-bladder back. It cannot undo the fear of another who spent days in the hospital due to an electrolyte crash. These are not bogus stories made up by someone who had a vendetta against Heidi or the program. These are real people who are suffering.

My question is... how many more? Jeannie, this is in no way meant to question your credibility or motivation. I had the same motivation and received the same emails as you speaking of encouragement and motivation. You can still motivate people in weight loss without endangering. We can still motivate without aiding a criminal fraud.

Will it take someone with a heart condition dying of a potassium deficiency? How many more must suffer?

To Exercise or Not to Exercise... that is the question.

2007-10-23T11:52:00.000-05:00

One of the selling points of the Kimkins program is that exercise is not necessary for weight loss. In fact, this quote from Kimmer shows the viewpoint of the program on a regular exercise routine:

"Did you know exercise doesn't work? Nope. I know you're shocked! It's the most common fallacy in the diet business -- work out and lose weight. Are they serious?

Check any exercise calculator. A 200 pound woman who walks 2 miles a day will only burn 175 calories! This means it will take 3 weeks of daily walking to lose only 1 pound!!! Just 1! Walking 2 miles every day!

Here's the math: 175 calories x 20 days = 3500 calories (1 pound)

This is why the Kimkins Diet is a weight loss Super Star! Kimkins is thermogenic. You burn more calories than regular "slow" diets -- and it works without exercise! It's true! Kimkins members typically lose 5% of their total body weight in the first 10 days! Wow!

It's your choice: Depend on exercise to lose 1-2 pounds in 30 days or pick thermogenic Kimkins and lose 10% of your total body weight in 30 days! Hmmm, I know what sounds better to me!"

I decided to check for myself just to make sure my numbers were right. If you're anything like me, you measure your walking/exercise most often by time, not distance. By the same calculations on Calorie Control.org, a 200lb person walking briskly for 45 minutes will burn actually 395.99 calories. This is equal to just under a pound a week (walking 6 days a week). However, I do not want to talk about just the weight loss benefits of exercise today. I have discovered the multitude of additional benefits that regular activity can give us, weight management aside.

On the Mayo Clinic website there are 7 additional reasons listed as to why regular exercise is valuable to our overall health transformation. After all... isn't that the goal of our journey? Health.

I learned along my path that the goal was not necessarily to lose weight. While that was one pleasant side effect. The true target was to achieve an outcome of better health. Losing weight was just step number 1. I realized that in order to obtain a lifetime of healthful living, I would have to do more than just temporarily change my way of eating. It was to be a life change. Not only would I have to switch my paradigm regarding the way I ate on a daily basis; another one of those life changes would have to be implementing a regular exercises routine.

The reason that most, if not all, doctors strongly recommend exercise as a part of a healthy diet program is because of the vast variety of health benefits that it provides. Active muscle burns fat at a much faster rate than an in-active muscle. When you are exercising and building your muscle mass, not only are you burning calories, but you are increasing your fat burning ability. Building those muscle's also gives you a natural endorphin release which helps to improve mood and psychological well-being as well. Ever notice how good you feel after a well done work out? So not only is it good for your body physically, it's good emotionally and psychologically.

Here is a list of some other very specific benefits to a proper exercise routine from the Nutristrategy website:

Specific Health Benefits of Exercise

Heart Disease and Stroke. Daily physical activity can help prevent heart disease and stroke by strengthening your heart muscle, lowering your blood pressure, raising your high-density lipoprotein (HDL) levels (good cholesterol) and lowering low-density lipoprotein (LDL) levels (bad cholesterol), improving blood flow, and increasing your heart's working capacity.

High Blood Pressure. Regular physical activity can reduce blood pressure in those with high blood pressure levels. Physical activity also reduces body fatness, which is associated with high blood pressure.

Noninsulin-Dependent Diabetes. By reducing body fatness, physical activity can help to prevent and control this type of diabetes.

Obesity. Physical activity helps to reduce body fat by building or preserving muscle mass and improving the body's ability to use calories. When physical activity is combined with proper nutrition, it can help control weight and prevent obesity, a major risk factor for many diseases.

Back Pain. By increasing muscle strength and endurance and improving flexibility and posture, regular exercise helps to prevent back pain.

Osteoporosis. Regular weight-bearing exercise promotes bone formation and may prevent many forms of bone loss associated with aging.

Psychological Effects. Regular physical activity can improve your mood and the way you feel about yourself. Researchers also have found that exercise is likely to reduce depression and anxiety and help you to better manage stress.

Millions of Americans suffer from illnesses that can be prevented or improved through regular physical activity.

• 13.5 million people have coronary heart disease.
• 1.5 million people suffer from a heart attack in a given year.
• 8 million people have adult-onset (non-insulin-dependent) diabetes.
• 95,000 people are newly diagnosed with colon cancer each year.
• 250,000 people suffer from a hip fractures each year.
• 50 million people have high blood pressure.
• Over 60 million people (a third of the population) are overweight.

Throughout my journey I have been asked if I had to exercise to get the weight off. I used to answer people that it wasn't necessary, but that I did just because I wanted to. I realize now that my idealism's were incorrect. Exercise is very important. When a program tells you that exercise is not necessary you are only harming yourself. While I understand that there are many people who do not enjoy exercise, I would have to ask... what is it that you don't like? What do you have to lose by at least giving it a try?

By taking control of your eating you are taking the first step in bringing your life into balance. The second is to implement a regular activity routine. It's a powerful cycle. When you exercise, you feel better, when you feel better, you want to eat better. You will not have to work as hard to control your weight, and you will start loving what you see in the mirror.

Renowned psychologist Dr Phil McGraw said in his book "The Ultimate Weight Solution:"

"You must ramp up your exercise effort so that your body is physiologically capable of losing weight and counteracting weight gain. When you do this, you maximize your weight loss and your ability to keep your weight off permanently.

The result, the ultimate outcome is that you can lay claim to most or all of the powerful and positive payoffs of exercise... and keep your weight off for good."

Should you be wary of a program that promises you do not have to exercise to better your health? Absolutely.

Why Do We Fail At Maintenance?

2007-10-11T13:03:00.000-05:00

This question has been haunting me recently as I’ve passed my one year mark of living a low carb lifestyle. Statistics say that once you lose the weight, most people usually FAIL at keeping it off. Why? What is it that makes living a thin lifestyle for those of us who lived the majority of our lives overweight so difficult? Do we follow a program just to get the weight off or do we truly recognize the need and necessity even of shifting paradigms?

The first time I lost a significant amount of weight I got pregnant almost immediately. At that point, I for some reason thought that I could just go back to eating the way I had previously enjoyed myself. After all, it was for the baby right? The pounds began to pack back on, and this was multiplied when we ended up having complications with the pregnancy and losing that baby. But what happened to me mentally? I obviously had taken the mindset that I needed to lose the weight, but not to keep it off. Bad habits crept back in and before I knew it… not only had I gained it all back, but plus some.

I spent the next 2 years yo-yoing before conceiving again and with that (successful) pregnancy I gained over 70lbs! I knew I was overweight, but just wasn’t in “that place.” I always used the excuse “I could never give up my bread… potatoes… (insert your poison of choice here).” So obviously it wasn’t priority in my life at that point.

Slowly, things began to compile and the veil began to be lifted as I started seeing just what was going on in my own life that was hindering me making a real difference. What was it that was hindering me? Me.

I realized that I was serving me. “I want… I can’t give up…. I deserve…. I can’t pass on….” all about the “I.”

What happened when I started losing weight at lightning speed? My thought process shifted, but from one self serving “I” to another. “I want it off NOW.” Patience and self-control played second fiddle to my insatiable desire to go faster and faster. I was encouraged and spurred on with the hope and false information that this was perfect and a great way to lose. And I bought it! Totally! Never-mind what damaging effects I might have permanently been putting on my body. But one thing rang through….

My mom asked me shortly after I lost the weight if I had in actually traded one selfish ambition for another. Is this what had happened? Is this why we have such a hard time maintaining weight-loss to begin with? I suddenly realized that I had still not completely dealt with the heart issue.

I began my journey with good intentions. I wanted to make a better life for myself, my family, my health, and to honor my Lord with my body. But the road to destruction is often lined with good intentions. When the complements start flying that same self-centered thinking begins to creep back in. “If they like me now… just wait till they see me then…” I don’t think that anyone would deny that being on the cover of a magazine is pretty much the ultimate compliment that you can get when you’ve been losing weight. Especially for someone like me who has been overweight my entire life.

Since leaving the Kimkins program I have learned so much. God has blessed me with incredible friends and family who have supported me 100% in everything that I’ve done. One thing that I discovered however is that by not addressing the base line issue that I had forgotten why I decided to begin my journey in the first place. I chose to live the way that God intended me to live. I no longer face a self-serving attitude of more more more (or less as the case may be). I found that I needed to re-adjust my paradigm and realize that successful weight loss and maintenance was not about getting complements or feeling good about myself, while those are definite benefits and perks, they are not the goal. True maintenance begins in the heart.

By transferring my thinking to a goal of honoring God with my body and extending my life in a healthy way for my children and family, it is no longer about “I.” Food is for nourishment first and enjoyment second. At first, it seems like a tremendous paradox… if we didn’t enjoy food so much then we wouldn’t have a weight problem, but if the pleasure was taken out of eating, then we wouldn’t feel the need to nourish. We have taste-buds for a reason. It is a gift so that we can enjoy this aspect of life. But like other aspects it is a gift we seem to abuse.

By over-indulging we seem to counter-act the exact thing that God intended for us. I believe He would much rather us savor and completely enjoy the flavor of a strawberry, instead of smothering it in sugar and bleached flour and taking away from the nourishment and satisfaction that can come from a simple serving of the fruit. When we over-indulge, we desensitize ourselves and our taste-buds to the actual pleasure that can come from eating GOOD foods.

Ask anyone who has been eating healthfully for an extended period of time. Whole, healthy GOOD foods seem to take on an all new vibrancy. Why? Because we had become desensitized to the actual flavors of the foods themselves. I am constantly amazed at how good I feel and the pleasure that comes from eating well. I can now enjoy those moments of healthful eating with greater satisfaction than the food can give me; because I know that I am honoring God with my choices, and I am giving my children a much brighter future with a healthy and participating mother.

While I am still far from what I would call a complete success as far as the maintenance goes, I feel confident that this time it is for good. It’s been 7 months. This time, it will stick. This time, it’s not about me.

KTLA News Story Part2

2007-10-04T02:26:00.000-05:00

Click HERE to watch.

Part 2 of the KTLA News story that aired last night exposing Kimkins and Heidi Diaz.

2 Corinthians 3:16
"But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Zechariah 8:16
"These things are the things that you shall do: Speakthe truth to one another render in your gates judgements that are true and make for peace, do not devise evil in your hearts against one another and love no false oath, for all these things I hate declares the Lord."

Kimkins In the Light

2007-10-03T07:14:00.000-05:00

My friends, as I write to you today I have a mixture of emotions ranging from relief, to sadness, to grief, to peace. Late last night across the country links began to go out to a news story that aired on Los Angeles, California's KTLA news station. The title of the story - "Internet Diet Scam Exposed."

Watch the Video HERE

I don't think that much more needs to be said other than I can confirm now that the voice of Heidi Diaz within this video stating "No Comment" is the same voice that I have spoken with multiple times over this last year as "Kimmer."

Please take a moment today to pray for Heidi and all those who have been hurt emotionally, psychologically, or physically by all of this.

2 Corinthians 3:16
"But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Used or abused?

2007-10-02T12:30:00.000-05:00

It has recently been suggested that people such as myself abused the Kimkins plan by cutting our calories to unhealthy levels on our own in opposition of the true intent of the plan. I am sorry to say that this is not true.

Tippy said: "I think it was well said previously that Kimkins diet has been abused by some members at their own doings who now point the finger in blame towards us." This statement is incorrect. This is the way we were instructed to follow the plan "correctly."

It saddens and sickens me to admit this about myself, but I feel that I must share in order to bring to light proof of the eating disordered behavior that I not only engaged in, but was encouraged in.

February 14, 2007 - I wrote:

"TOPIC: Kimmer, Becky, anyone!! Check my Fitday please - I need help!!!!"

I have been pretty much stalled all month. I'm under a lot of stress here at home w/ my daycare, but I don't know if that would contribute or not. I've been K/E pretty much for the most part w/ a few Kimkins days here and there. Is my body just confused by my mixing it up?? I try to drink 40-80oz of water a day on top of what is here and every now and then I do drink a diet soda, but I get the sodium free splenda sweetened ones. Please help!!!! I have got to get to goal!!!!

Here is a screen shot of my Fitday averages at this point in time:

Average Calories: 377 Fat: 11g Carbs: 8g Protein: 58g

By all indications medically and scientifically, I was in actuality, starving. I was showing very clear signs of grossly anorexic behavior. However, in my zeal to lose and blind faith in a program that I believed I was utilizing "perfectly" I failed to see the warning signs my own body was giving me.

Kimmer replied:

Your calories are low, protein good, but I have questions about whether quantities are accurate if you're not using a food scale and some days are missing.

Be sure of measurements. How do you figure .1 cup of salsa? .1 cup of olives? .1 cup of shredded cheese?

Skip all sausage, even turkey, if you're not losing
Skip bacon
Skip pork roast
Skip pastrami

What are you using to weigh protein like 2 oz, 3 oz? Use specific ounces, not "1 serving"

Measure coffee mug, very few are 8 oz, most are 12-16 oz

Keep veggie limits to 3 cups raw or 2 + .5 cup cooked. How did you measure .75 cup of cooked cabbage?

Egg beaters, 1 cup? That's quite a bit. Better to have fewer eggs & an extra salad serving or lettuce roll-up.

I have to ask -- what's with all the egg whites? And what do you do with the yolks?

Christin:

Kimmer thank you so much for checking this out for me. In answer to your questions. As far as the .1 cup thing - I couldn't find an option for a tsp measurement on those and I wanted to have it in there... so that's my best guess for the amt.

I have a food scale that I use to measure ounces and that's what I've used.

The 1 serving thing... those are individual servings _base_d on the packaging when they don't give me the ounces. Do I need to measure them anyways? I'm just going by the serving size (ie 1 piece).

I had a feeling about the pork roast thing... my SIL wanted German for her bday and that was the ONLY thing I could find on their menu that was remotely close to plan - that's where the cabbage was too... (sauerkraut, but fitday doesn't have that, so I know the sodium was WAY up there that day) The serving they put on the plate was aprox 1 cup. I didn't eat the whole thing, but I'm pretty sure I ate more that
1/2 cup so that's why I did the .75. It was an estimate since we were out and I couldn't measure exactly.

I've decided to cut coffee all together for a while to see if that helps pick it up... Pray for me, it's going to be VERY difficult.

I was doing the EW challenge that's what all the EW is for... higher protein less fat... forgive me but I throw the yolk out. I'm looking for boxed EW so that it will be a bit easier... But i'm out of pretty much everything so I'm having to make do with what I can till I get to the grocery store.

Thanks for your suggestions, anything else?

Kimmer:

Christin, you did really good at a German restaurant! My family is German and, yikes! Yeah, that meal will mess with your progress because restaurants do things to enhance their food -- but it didn't trigger a binge and you enjoyed family time!

No need to weigh prepackaged stuff, but is anything you could substitute the sausages with? Even diced chicken chunks? I still cook up 2 breasts (various spices), dice into "dice" size squares and keep them in a Gladware bowl in the fridge. I grab a couple whenever I want a quick snack.

If you're a fish fan, there's a whole 'sea' world. Sea World, get it -- I'm so funny (not!)

Christin, you're doing good and you've lost soooo much! Keep it up, it will come. Maybe try limiting protein to 3 oz portions, you can always get more if you need/want it.

Or, my sister's favorite "snack" during her weight loss. The romaine lettuce roll ups. Layout a big leaf, lay 1 slice of Oscar Meyer sliced sandwich ham, either a squirt of mustard or a drizzle of salsa, roll up & eat -- 10 calories. (emphasis mine)

Not only were my low calories praised and encouraged, but I was encouraged to cut even more than what I already was consuming on a diet of primarily egg whites which had received full blessing as well. I did not "abuse" the plan.

True that no one forced me to eat this way, or told me that I must follow everything that Kimmer said. But, when you feel as though you've been handed the keys to true permanent weight loss, and you are so close to achieving that goal, it is difficult not to be blinded by your own aspirations, especially when receiving such encouragement. I was affirmed that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I used the plan. Plain and simple.

My Video Blog Transcript

2007-09-28T10:04:00.000-05:00

Jimmy Moore has been kind enough to put together a transcript of my video for those of you who are on dial-up or hearing impared and cannot watch my video. Thanks Jimmy!!

Livin' La Vida Low Carb - Kimkins 'Cover Girl' Passionately Declares Diet 'Dangerous' After Health Issues Emerge

Incentives Traded for Loyalty

2007-09-27T17:40:00.000-05:00

I have debated about publishing the following, but after reading conversations released today by The Truth In Hiding concerning bonuses, I am going to share publicly the incentives Kimmer offered me as Public Relations Director for Kimkins.

In my previous blog, Ethics vs Economics, I eluded to having to make a financial decision to walk away from Kimkins. Believe me; I struggled with what to do. I risked losing a lot.

The following conversation was in reference to obtaining new magazine articles and contacts:

Aug 20, 2007

Heidi: if you land us a magazine story (even if not the cover)
me: :)
Heidi: you'll get a company car :)
me: wha?? LOL
9:59 PM Heidi: :)
me: you're pulling my leg...
Heidi: not at all
me: :) great incentive! ;)
10:00 PM Heidi: and a raise :)

I submitted my story and articles to multiple magazines; however, I had not received a contact back from any at that point.

This next conversation is in reference to contacts with the reporters who scout stories for Harpo Studios (Oprah Winfrey):

Aug 22, 2007

Heidi: i'm telling you now, that if you get "us" on oprah $100,000 to you. promise.
11:12 AM me: wow... that's a very generous offer.... I'm working on it!!!

The next conversation concerned Heidi’s offer to me as PR director and head moderator. For reference, the “dead” comment refers to her being without access to the Kimkins forums for a time.

Aug 25, 2007:
Heidi: 1) since i'm "dead" could i ask you to ask the others about being admins?
me: sure

5:56 PM Heidi: what would you think of being head admin? new salary $1500/mo
me: oh wow...

There are more conversations, but my goal here is to reach the remaining admins. Tippy and Singing Lass, you are being used.

My First Video Blog

2007-09-26T16:06:00.000-05:00

This is my first of hopefully many podcasts. It is not necessarily the way I wished to begin, however I feel that my message is vital for the health and wellbeing of those who are still unsure of the Kimkins program.

I wanted to address my friends still within that program. I want you to know my heart. I have nothing but love for you all. I am so saddened that it has all come to this... Please heed my warning. God has so much more for you... He wants you to live a healthy, happy and long life. He has given us this body as a temple, and it is up to us to respect it, and treat it right. Not deprive it of valuable and necessary things that He has put on this earth for our nurishment and enjoyment.

God bless my friends and I look forward to sharing even more with you.

Is it Economics or Ethics?

2007-09-23T15:41:00.000-05:00

I know that I should never question or doubt God's timing when He brings His children together for one purpose. In light of the current situation with Kimkins and Heidi Diaz, I have spent much time in prayer, seeking guidance, peace and clarification in everything that I say and do. This morning was yet another confirmation that I am right in the middle of where I am supposed to be. Today's service was especially relevant and I wanted to share it with you as it is amazingly applicable during this time.

I begin today's post by relaying a story that my pastor shared this morning from the Word in Daniel 3. (Using The Message version for readability)

"King Nebuchadnezzar built a gold statue, ninety feet high and nine feet thick. He set it up on the Dura plain in the province of Babylon. He then ordered all the important leaders in the province, everybody who was anybody, to the dedication ceremony of the statue. They all came for the dedication, all the important people, and took their places before the statue that Nebuchadnezzar had erected.

A herald then proclaimed in a loud voice: "Attention, everyone! Every race, color, and creed, listen! When you hear the band strike up—all the trumpets and trombones, the tubas and baritones, the drums and cymbals—fall to your knees and worship the gold statue that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. Anyone who does not kneel and worship shall be thrown immediately into a roaring furnace."

The band started to play, a huge band equipped with all the musical instruments of Babylon, and everyone—every race, color, and creed—fell to their knees and worshiped the gold statue that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

Just then, some Babylonian fortunetellers stepped up and accused the Jews. They said to King Nebuchadnezzar, "Long live the king! You gave strict orders, O king, that when the big band started playing, everyone had to fall to their knees and worship the gold statue, and whoever did not go to their knees and worship it had to be pitched into a roaring furnace. Well, there are some Jews here—Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego—whom you have placed in high positions in the province of Babylon. These men are ignoring you, O king. They don't respect your gods and they won't worship the gold statue you set up."

Furious, King Nebuchadnezzar ordered Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be brought in. When the men were brought in, Nebuchadnezzar asked, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you don't respect my gods and refuse to worship the gold statue that I have set up? I'm giving you a second chance—but from now on, when the big band strikes up you must go to your knees and worship the statue I have made. If you don't worship it, you will be pitched into a roaring furnace, no questions asked. Who is the god who can rescue you from my power?"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn't, it wouldn't make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn't serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up."

Nebuchadnezzar, his face purple with anger, cut off Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He ordered the furnace fired up seven times hotter than usual. He ordered some strong men from the army to tie them up, hands and feet, and throw them into the roaring furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, bound hand and foot, fully dressed from head to toe, were pitched into the roaring fire...

Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm and said, "Didn't we throw three men, bound hand and foot, into the fire?"

"That's right, O king," they said.

"But look!" he said. "I see four men, walking around freely in the fire, completely unharmed! And the fourth man looks like a son of the gods!"

Nebuchadnezzar went to the door of the roaring furnace and called in, "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the High God, come out here!"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walked out of the fire.

All the important people, the government leaders and king's counselors, gathered around to examine them and discovered that the fire hadn't so much as touched the three men—not a hair singed, not a scorch mark on their clothes, not even the smell of fire on them!

Nebuchadnezzar said, "Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego! He sent his angel and rescued his servants who trusted in him! They ignored the king's orders and laid their bodies on the line rather than serve or worship any god but their own."

So the question today is: What happens when the cost of doing business IS my ethics?

I wrote not long ago about specific questions that I had regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer/Heidi Diaz. In my request, I emphasised that my desire and goal in that correspondence was to be able to promote the company which I worked for, with integrity and a clear conscience. But, the heart of the issue clearly and quickly became a very personal question. I had to determine for myself what would happen if I would have to give up my values to keep my job. This is a fundamental question, that really encompasses every aspect of my life. My pastor said: "Ethics are like water, they seep out in every area of our lives." When we begin to compromise and rationalize our ethical standpoints, it becomes easier and easier to make little compromises in other areas of our lives.

When faced with a "sticky" situation, it can be very easy to rationalize our behavior. Our rationalizations can entail 3 trains of thought. Sometimes one, or a combination of all three influence our decision making:

1) My economic standing: If I stand for what I believe in, how will I pay for my expenses? This truly hit home to me. I am a stay at home mom. I would be lying if I said I didn't worry sometimes about where the money is going to come from to buy groceries or pay the electric bill. I realize now that this was a baiting tool that was used against me. It was VERY difficult to walk away from my position with Kimkins because I had no idea what would happen financially. I was constantly reminded of my dependence on Heidi and my "need" by subtle comments such as "you're worth much more," "you're making more than 'person'" and "I'm giving this out of my pocket."

2) The EGO of my position: Do I continue to play the game, just to keep my position? I was the cover-girl. Kimmer's "right hand girl." THOUSANDS of people have seen my face and are counting on me to help guide them. Flattery is a trap, a snare to entangle those who are unaware and easily distracted. There is a distinct difference in my mind between a complement and flattery. Complements are sincere and genuine. They are meant to edify and encourage. Flattery is sticky sweet. It drips with ulterior motives. There was definitely an abundance of flattery being flung around.

3) My Efforts Sacrificed: I could not go backwards. I spent HOURS and HOURS on the forums, helping, offering assistance, encouraging, not to mention time spent on multiple other projects and responsibilities that I spearheaded and began; media contacts, kimmerwear, recipe contest, advertising, recipe box organization, maintenance program, public relations duties.

But, are those things worth the sacrifice that I would be making for my own conscience. What would I be giving up by continuing to represent a company and person whose moral and ethical practices are shady at best? In Heidi's own words:

"I don't see that there's a future for you with Kimkins unless you can come up with something that wouldn't jeopardize your integrity."

"Again, if anyone isn't willing to take a bullet for Kimkins (and why on earth should you), no problem at all."

What is my reality?

If I had made the choice to stay with Kimkins what would I lose?

1) Loss of my moral authority. How do I trust God if I take matters into my own hands? How can I encourage others to trust Him?

2) Loss of my self-respect. To take the "easy road" would be cowardly, a cop-out. When I began this blog, I titled it "The Journey" with the intention of taking "the road less traveled." I can not live in fear of what may happen by making the difficult decision to stand against the King.

3) Loss of seeing God show up in powerful ways. Taking shortcuts disallows God's power. The greatest stories are those in which His power shows up in miraculous ways. How many stories would go untold because of my short-cuts?

In the story, King Nebuchadnezzar required self-worship as a symbol of his subjects loyalty to him. You may say - well.... I will bow to the idol on the outside and follow what is right just in my mind. The idea being... I can do more good on the inside than the outside. But how many people will see you for what you are? No one else can see your mind. To them, you are still bowing to the idol.

The King said - If you do not do what I say, you will be thrown in the fire... I'm the king, I can do whatever I want to do."

Do you believe that "your king" is in control of your life though? Do you trust more in your economic or social standing than in God?

I do not. I know that I serve a God who is able; a God who will deliver me from the fire. I chose to stand for what is right. I refuse to bow to the idol and compromise my integrity for the easy road and to save myself from "death."

My favorite part of this story and analogy is this: I stood for what I believed in with my 2 friends... my Meshach and Abednego... Becky and Deni. We are in the fire. We are standing for honesty and integrity. But we are not alone. We have a 4th guardian. Thank you Lord Jesus for standing with us. Praise God that I have confidence and a surety that we will not only come through this fire unscathed, but He will use us in ways that we have not yet even begun to imagine.

This post is my application and summary of a sermon presented this morning by Pastor Tim Hawks of Hill Country Bible Church. You can hear the complete message HERE.

Where do we go from here? ~ The Excellence of Love

2007-09-19T08:31:00.000-05:00

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and know all the mysteries and all knowledge;
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but do not have love,
I AM NOTHING.

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor,
and if I deliver my body to be burned,
but do not have love,
it profits me nothing.

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
it is not jealous;
Love does not brag,
it is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness,
but rejoices with THE TRUTH;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love NEVER fails;
but if there are gifts of prophecy,
they will be done away;
if there are tongues,
they will cease;
if there is knowledge,
it will be done away.

For we know in part,
and we prophesy in part;
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will be done away.

When I was a child, I used to speak as a child,
think as a child,
reason as a child;

When I became a man, I did away with childish things.

For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face;
now I know in part,
but then I will know fully
just as I also have been fully known.

But now abide Faith, Hope, and LOVE, these three;
But the greatest of these is

LOVE."

1 Corinthians 13 (NAS Version)

Is there life after Kimkins? I want to encourage you all. YES. There is. I know for many of you, you believe that Kimkins is the only thing that ever worked for you, but you also can see the health risks and dangers that are prominent with the very low calorie aspects of this program. You know that your body needs more than that, but you are lost and don't know where to turn.

I understand... but know that there is a beacon in the night, a light shinging through the fog. That light is actually what made Kimkins so successful for you in the first place. It is friends and family. Friends that supported you and encouraged you. An online family where you could share your ups and downs, ins and outs, struggles and triumphs. Those people are still out there. They still love you. I still love you. Many have found new homes at various low carb forums around the web. I have too. I will share my resting place with you shortly.

I wanted to encourage you with some tips and places to begin your transition if you have begun it, and hope for those who have not yet. Some of you may experience a slight stall by changing the way you are eating, others may notice a break in a stall. Remember that we are all different, and that is what makes us so special. There is no "cookie cutter" program out there that works for everyone. We must make adjustments according to what our bodies needs are at the time. There are so many good low carb books and plans out there; Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution, Protein Power, The Zone, The Thin Commandments and many many more. I ask that you bear with me as I too learn how to live this low carb life in a healthful way too. But I will always pass along to you the things that I am learning.

Tip 1) Begin by upping your calories by using more protein and added HEALTHY fats (good oils such as olive, avacado, coconut, etc.; healthy nuts such as almonds or walnuts; olives; avacados, dairy, etc.). Everone will have an optimum calorie range that is good for their bodies and will still allow for weight loss. 500 calories is not it. Try for at least 1100-1200. I know this will be hard at first, but your body will thank you in the end.

Tip 2) DO NOT BE AFRAID OF VEGGIES. This was one of my clues that I had changed from a healthy thinking within Kimkins to a more eating dissordered way of thinking. I became AFRAID to add in veggies because I worried that it would slow my loss. We did not get fat from vegetables. Their nutritional value is worth so much more than losing an extra ounce because you did not eat a salad. Remember the 20 carb limit in KK? What if you kept to that thought, but this time use net carbs in veggies. The fiber contained within them and vitamins and minerals are so good for you. God created them to nourish your body. This is why most LC programs have a list that you can eat an UNLIMITED amount from, and another list that is limited... there are veggies that are higher starch/carb than others that you may wish to limit (like winter squashes, pumpkin, carrots, etc...). But these things do contain wonderful vitamins and minerals that your body does need. Just remember what you have learned. 1 serving = 1/2 cup of cooked veggies. Watch the higher carb ones and stick to your serving sizes. Enjoy ENJOY ENJOY the lower carb "free" veggies!

Tip 3) Get moving! I know that many people do not like to excercise. But I think you will find that you will feel so much better even getting out and taking a 30 minute walk. Fall is quickly approaching on us and this is the perfect time to start getting out. Breathe the fresh air, and think about what a better life you are making for yourself and your loved ones with your new way of eating.

In my previous journal I began a book review on The Thin Commandments by Dr Stephen Gullo. I intend to continue that review here on this blog as I believe it to be a truly inspiring peice that sheds light on some of the most essential psychological issues that we all must face if we are to keep the weight off permanently.

I continue now in my forward motion and I am so priviledged to be able to share this road with you.

(PSST... wanna know where my new home is??? Come check it out over at Low Carb Discussion. Special thanks goes to Jimmy Moore for setting up this new home for us. So many good people there. Many friends you will most likely recognize. Send me a PM or post to one of the threads that I regular and I look forward to seeing you there!)

Maintaining the Status Quo

2007-09-16T01:43:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Deni said that once she saw the Kimkins program as a speeding train. She was warned not to remain on that train and instead sit on her bench at the train station and wait for travelers to come off of the train. I too sit on that bench… and every now and then we journey down my road, stopping for a while to rest with our friend Becky at her tent… But then, I come back to the train and I am saddened at worried. I look through the windows and I see friends. Many of whom I did invite aboard with me. They are my friends, my allies, my confidants, my support system. But what true friend would I be if I allowed them to continue without warning them of the impending danger that is to come? The more I read and research the more I realize the grave danger I put myself in, and others in, through my use of the Kimkins diet program.

It breaks my heart that these people who used to be my friends have now labeled me as an outsider; a “hater.” I did not get my research and proof of what I found from “anti” blogs or forums contrary to what has been reported to you. Doesn’t it seem odd that “my friend,” the founder of that program would not provide me with the medical proof that I asked for? And I asked not only as a concerned friend, but as the Public Relations representative in order that I might represent what I believed in whole heartedly. But I was given nothing to stand on. No concrete to plant my feet on, as I desperately sought a way to defend my decisions and they way I had led my life for almost a year. Instead, I was left floundering in assumptions of my greatest fears, later confirmed by my own studies. I understand. I was just as disillusioned as you are trying not to be… maybe even more so. I was on the cover of a magazine telling the world of a program which I had assumed to be safe!

My friends I implore you, you have heard my heart. You have read my words. I, of all people, would be the first to jump up and shout to the rooftops if I could prove Kimkins to be safe for general dietary use! This is what I asked Kimmer for. I wanted to promote Kimkins with integrity and honesty. I wanted to be able to show without a doubt that it was a good program. But, try as I might, I could not.

I am a real person. I’ve met some of you, others I’ve spoken with over the phone. You’ve seen pictures of me through my journey, of my friends and family members with me. Please trust your heart. I am your friend, the one you looked up to. If you joined Kimkins because you saw my face and trusted me when I proclaimed that you too can lose weight, trust me again. You CAN lose weight; AND you can do it healthfully. Do not be pulled into the “comfort” of the train ride or a fear to go against the status quo… that train is headed for a ravine and the bridge is out my friends.

I want to leave you with this old story about a king. This king‘s life was saved and he didn’t even know it till it was too late.

A King and His Hawk

One morning when he was home from the wars, he rode out into the woods to have a day's sport. Many of his friends were with him. They rode out gayly, carrying their bows and arrows. Behind them came the servants with the hounds.

It was a merry hunting party. The woods rang with their shouts and laughter. They expected to carry much game home in the evening.

On the king's wrist sat his favorite hawk, for in those days hawks were trained to hunt. At a word from their masters they would fly high up into the air, and look around for prey. If they chanced to see a deer or rabbit, they would swoop down upon it swift as any arrow.

Towards evening they started for home. The king had often ridden through the woods, and he knew all the paths. So while the rest of the party took the nearest way, he went by the longer road through a valley between two mountains.

The day had been warm, and the king was very thirsty. His pet hawk had left his wrist a flown away. It would be sure to find its way home.

The king rode slowly along. He had once seen a spring of clear water near this path. If he could only find it now! But the hot days of summer had dried up all the mountain brooks.

At last, to his joy, he saw some water trickling down over the edge of a rock. He know that there was a spring farther up. In the wet season, a swift stream of water always poured down here; but now it came only one drop at a time.

The king leaped from his horse. He took a little silver cup from his hunting bag. He held it so as to catch the slowly falling drops.

It took a long time to fill the cup; and the king was so thirsty that he could hardly wait. At last it was nearly full. He put the cup to his lips, and was about to drink.

All at once there was a whirling sound in the air, and the cup was knocked from his hands. The water was all spilled upon the ground.

The king looked up to see who had done this thing. It was his pet hawk.
The hawk flew back and forth a few times, and then alighted among the rocks by the spring. The king picked up the cup, and again he held it to catch the trickling drops.

This time he did not wait so long. When the cup was half full, he lifted it towards his mouth. But before it had touched his lips, the hawk swooped down again, and knocked it from his hands.

And now the king began to grow angry. He tried again, and for the third time the hawk kept him from drinking.

The king was now very angry indeed. "How do you dare to act so?" he cried. "If I had you in my hands, I would wring your neck!" Then he filled the cup again. But before he tried to drink, he drew his sword.

"Now, Sir Hawk," he said, "this is the last time."

He had hardly spoken before the hawk swooped down and knocked the cup from his hand. But the king was looking for this. With a quick sweep of the sword he struck the bird as it passed.

The next moment the poor hawk lay bleeding and dying at its master's feet.
"That is what you get for your pains," said the king.
But when he looked up for his cup, he found that it had fallen between two rocks where he could not reach it.

"At any rate, I will have a drink from that spring," he said to himself.
With that he began to climb the steep bank to the place from which the water had trickled. It was hard work, and the higher he climbed, the thirstier he became.

At last he reached the place. There indeed was a pool of water; but what was that lying in the pool, and almost filling it? It was a huge, dead snake of the most poisonous kind.

The king stopped. He forgot his thirst. He thought only of the poor dead bird lying on the ground below him.

"The hawk saved my life!" he cried, "and how did I repay him? He was my best friend and I have killed him."

He clambered down the bank. He took the bird up gently, and laid it in his hunting bag. Then he mounted his horse and rode swiftly home.

I am swooping down again to knock down your cup… but will you put away your sword?

Peace and calm in the Storm

2007-09-13T15:20:00.000-05:00

I am amazed at the things that God brings us when we need them most. This morning I looked at one of the most quoted and yet most comforting Psalms. Let Psalm 23 give you peace.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
for HIS names sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear NO EVIL.
For YOU are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

If you are struggling no matter where you are. Find peace. God said that He has not given us a Spirit of Fear. Where there is confusion and turmoil, there is no peace. Where there are lies and deception there is no peace. It is only within the truth that we find that calm an peace. I want my friends to hear me. Those of you still behind the wall and those who have left, know that God gives incredible peace and comfort to those who seek Him. Look to Him for your answers.

I also want to say this. Remember that the enemy masquerades as an angel of light. He is deceptively beautiful. He lays a trap with flattery and sweet words. But remember that the Truth does not lead to confusion. Seek the truth and you will find peace.

While I still may have more to say in the future regarding my involvement with Kimkins; it is time for me to continue my journey. I will not be held captive, I will move on and grow.

This is my husband, Brian, and I at his best friends wedding last week.

It has been 6 months now. 6 months since I called goal. And yes... I am still maintaining. :) My weight has only fluctuated a little here and there which is normal but I am steady which is such a relief to me.

I do want to address a concern that many have had in reviewing my maintenance journals that were out there for a while. I removed them not because I had something to hide, but because it was confusing many. I know there were days and times that it looked like I would starve myself again but this really is not the case. I am one of the world's WORST journalers. I will admit that while on KK I did not eat much. Many times very little and dangerous low. This is why it took much longer for me to get comfortable with my maintenance routine. I had to increase my calories VERY slowly kind of in a healing process for my body. But I am not binge and crash dieting like I have heard speculating in some circles. I am consistently eating around 1400-1600 calories a day now which I am very comfortable with. My carbs are usually around 80 or so. Most of them come from fruit, the occasional natural Peanut Butter or almonds ;) and some various whole grain/brown foods. I eat a LOT more dairy now (love cheese!)and my DH jokes w/ me and my kids that I'm going to turn into a salad one day. I exercise (running again!) and feel wonderful.

Learning to eat a low carb maintenance took time... but I determined when I started that I WOULD NOT PANIC if I saw the scale rising. It's just time to re-adjust my strategy... I'll back off on the carbs a little (specifically on the grains)and step up the exercise and water a bit. This strategy has seemed to work very well for me so far. With the holidays coming we shall see, but I'm so confident in my new life now that I know God will give me the strength to know exactly how much is enough and when to say stop. And that my friends... is amazing.

An Olive Branch...or ??? My Public Response To Kimmer's Offer

2007-09-12T08:22:00.000-05:00

I received an interesting email last night from Kimmer. In it was an apology for acting in haste and banning me from the Kimkins website, along with an offer to re-instate my access. I wanted to make my response to her public so that there would be no confusion as to my intentions.

Kimmer,

Thank you so much for your kind gesture. Kimkins has been my online home now for almost a year (October 2 was my join date). I have many many friends there that I care about deeply and would love to contact. However, my questions still remain unanswered. I know many good people who asked the same questions I did and were also banned.

Until my questions are answered honestly and completely, and unless those friends are shown the same gesture, I am afraid I cannot accept. Like I have said before, this is indeed a sad situation, and I do not know what the future holds for any of us, but whatever happens, I only pray that the TRUTH will set all of us free.

Christin

Questions and confusion

2007-09-10T14:03:00.000-05:00

This post has taken me a while to come to. I feel though in order to confirm and support the things that my friends and I have all been witness to, I must. I have received many many questions from friends and those who are seeking wondering if I feel that they should continue with the Kimkins program or if they are safe in pursuing that lifestyle. I want to re-iterate, I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. I have only shared from my own experience and research. This entire situation has begun me thinking, however, that perhaps a certification in nutrition would be prudent for me to obtain so that I can continue on this journey with a bit more knowledge and expertise. With that said though, I want to share with all of you my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program simply based on my own experience and research thus far. I know there are and will be more, as I feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.

1)The Kimkins stand regarding laxatives is: “One full dose the first day, and then a reduced 25%-50% dose every day afterwards to maintain regularity.” All studies that I have found indicate that while continued dosing of a mild laxative is not necessarily addicting to some, it can be very detrimental to others causing the large intestine to become dependent on the herbs or laxative in order to contract and function properly. I asked to be pointed to the research and medical documentation that demonstrated otherwise. This would be separate from those who have been prescribed laxatives by their doctors for other reasons, but for the general public.

***On the laxative note. This is predominately necessary in the Kimmer Experiment portion of the program (Stillman’s). However, Dr Stillman’s notes say to increase vitamin C as a first option and Milk of Magnesia as a second, but not on a regular basis. See note on water below***

2)After researching the Atkins 72 and Stillman’s Quick Weight Loss Method plans, which are openly sited as being the basis for Kimkins, I saw a few staunch differences which I wanted to clarify. The claim is, that this program is safe because it was based on both of those plans written by doctors. However, it also contains Kimmer’s “tweaks.”

a.Fat is cut because of the calories. I wondered though about the dairy. All the foods listed within the program do contain many of the vitamin and mineral’s our bodies needs. However, the majority of Kimkins members are not eating enough of any of these things to obtain the amount of minerals especially that they need. I was concerned that the things that have been cut because of the fear of fat could be detrimental in the long run. Like I described in a previous post, Dr Atkins said “be shockingly un-afraid of fat” which I can see not being good on one hand… but it would be just as much of an opposite extreme to “be shockingly AFRAID of fat.”

b.Both programs push fluid intake. Stillman’s says 8 glasses of water a day and Atkin’s says as much water as thirst requires. Kimmer does not like to drink water, I don’t prefer it either, but I did try to get at least 40-60oz of water plus whatever calorie free beverage I chose during my journey and even now. The reason that Stillman required water on his program because he knew the strain that a high protein diet would have on the kidneys and therefore demanded the water to keep them flushed. Dr Atkins 72 plan encouraged the use of liquids but it was not required due to the higher veggie content, but even at that higher carb veggies (such as pumpkin and fruit like rhubarb) and good fats (avocado) were added to his program in the second week. The benefits of increased clear fluid intake are shown over and over, including assistance with regularity, so why is it not encouraged more?

c. I did see in one area where the Stillman’s program also gave this disclaimer: “This is a severe form of ketogenic diet. It is not easily sustainable for the long term. It may be useful in breaking plateaus and in those too impatient to allow their bodies to take the fat off gradually at its own pace.” But it does not say (at least where I could find it) that it can be done indefinitely w/o some risks.

d. My concern regarding both is this. Kimkins is a modified version of both of these diets combined, removing some things and adding others. The reasoning behind why Kimkins is so safe is because it was essentially “created” by 2 doctors so it is still “doctor approved.” BUT, Just as Kimmer says don’t modify Kimkins otherwise it’s not the same program. The same go for these two programs as well. So in essence, by modifying Atkins 72 and Stillman’s to be Kimkins you really no longer have a “Doctor approved” program because you have removed the things that they viewed as essential for their diet.

e. Kimmer claimed to me to have written a bariatric clinic to obtain a Doctor’s approval and review of the program. I requested a copy of the letters she had written.

3)I did lose on this program and seemingly have “thrived” in my results, aside from the side effects I experienced which I have already addressed. I am concerned that this is not as much of a “cookie cutter” program as Kimmer and others would like to believe. I am young, moderately good health before I began, and quite resilient. My body can hopefully take things ok with “minimal” side effects (not discounting however, that my calories were too low and I would much rather people follow their dietary program safely and not enter the danger zone that I did). However, my structure and nutritional needs are very different than someone who is 60, 70, or 13. I am in the prime of my life, and so eating this restricted, while maybe not the healthiest thing for our bodies, I reasoned that it’s better than obesity. I do have many concerns now though. Especially the older and younger members have some very different needs and promising that “you will lose no matter what” may be true to an extent, I cannot any longer condone recommending to anyone to cut out some things that they specifically may need for their bodies. At that point, it’s NOT just a matter of calories and math… you do have to take into consideration the vital nutrients and how much of each thing on this program they would have to consume to get those nutrients.

4)It was a well known fact that Kimmer had been accused of soliciting to teens. At first, I did not believe this accusation, and when Jimmy asked her about this directly she stated that she would never recommend this program for teens. I have always stated that too, as has my friend Deni. When we had our initial “Controversy” email session that was disclosed by Becky between Kimmer and moderators, it was brought up that a 13 year old had been in the chat room. Kimmer stated, “A 13 year old in chat? No way! Not OK ever. Please all/any of you let me know so I can talk to the account holder and tell them "nicely" about no kids and probably refund/cancel.” I needed to know then, why when one member out openly displaying her age as 14, and Deni and I were both trying to push her to talk to her mom and doctor, and reconsider what she was eating, did Kimmer come in and not only encourage her that her low cals were ok, but did not back us up in the need to talk to her doctor and mother? I did not understand why it suddenly was not important “whether you are 14 or 84” to have different diets. Nutritional needs at both those ages are very different, and it’s not just a matter of extra fat calories hanging on. Why was this teen not encouraged as well that this was not the place for her and “nicely” asked to leave?

5)I now had several questions regarding confusion surrounding Kimmer’s identity. Kimmer has told me things about herself at various times that are confusing and conflicting.

a.She speaks quite often about her sister and her use of Kimkins. She also told me that the picture in the red dress is in fact her. However, she also told me that not even her sister knows that she is Kimmer. How can this be? Would’t she see her picture on the site and put two and two together?

b. When I have called various times to speak with Kimmer, I have spoken with several other members of her household. One claimed to be her sister and another Brandon, and also one other unknown male. Each time, I have asked for “Heidi” and they have given the phone to her or told me she was not available. Months ago, Kimmer told me in one of our discussions “If you call me Heidi I might not know who you’re talking to,” insinuating that she is NOT Heidi. But, in that same conversation she also told me that calling her “Heidi” would keep her grounded and help remind her of where she came from. She reminisced to me also about when she was class mom for her boys and they called her “Ms Heidi.” However, she is now claiming that is not her name. I have a problem with this.

c. Kimmer speaks freely about Brandon and her involvement with him. However, the only reference ever throughout any business dealings and in records is for “Brandon Diaz.” If she is not Heidi Diaz, did he legally change his last name to coordinate with the name that she is operating under?

d. According to public records, “Heidi Diaz” birthday is in May. On that date, “her birthday,” this year, we made a fairly big “to do” about it being her birthday within the forum in which she accepted congratulations and spoke of how much she enjoyed celebrating her birthday. Was this not accurate? Did we have a “ghost” birthday celebration?

e. Kimmer has repeatedly allowed me to continue call and represent her as “Heidi.” I unknowingly participated in a deception that I am not comfortable with. And once again, I feel I owe my readers and friends an apology for this as well.

f. MULTIPLE times Kimmer informed me that she is the only one who handles the money. She doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. This is confusing to me if she is not Heidi, as the instructions for sending a check/money order state to make them out to “Heidi Diaz / Kimkins.”

6)I was concerned lastly regarding the future of Kimkins if Kimmer continued to conceal her identity. Kimmer has stated over and over that she is a very private person and does not want any recognition. However, I also know that as this program continues to grow, the question of “Who Is Kimmer” will not only exponentially get louder, but it will become more and more difficult for her to remain a hidden person without people writing the program off as a farce and a joke at best and an internet scam and criminal fraud at worst. If there is to be credibility behind the program then people need to know the credibility behind the founder. I believe that it is time for Kimmer to come out of hiding.

These are just some of my questions and concerns regarding the Kimkins program and its founder, Kimmer. After asking these questions as it pertained to my job as the Public Relations director for the Kimkins program, instead of forthrightly answering my questions, Kimmer’s immediate response (within 30 minutes) was to terminate my position as the PR director and offer a smaller position as head moderator which I refused. I explained to her that if I would not be allowed to ask questions for my job, and operate with integrity and a clear conscience, then I would not be able to participate within Kimkins as it was and asked to be removed as a moderator. Within the next few minutes I was banned from Kimkins.com.

I hope that by posting this that the facts may be taken for what they are, and I wish very much that Kimmer would simply come forward and answer me honestly. It hurt me terribly to have to do what I did. I cannot begin to express how much the support and encouragement that I received this last week has meant to me. I want to end with a passage from the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 4 vs 5.

Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.

I feel now that the Lord is bringing much to light that I had been blind to previously. I only pray that throughout this entire situation God will allow only the truth to prevail and that all other "things" fall to the wayside.

Why???

2007-09-08T10:56:00.000-05:00

I am astounded at the peace and clarity that comes from distance. As I step back and look over the events of this last year I am reminded of something that my mother used to tell me constantly. "Hindsight is 20/20." Life is full of "shoulda, coulda, woulda's," and it is what we do with those things in moving forward that determines our character and our ability to learn from our mistakes. The following question was asked on my friend Becky's blog and I feel that it would be helpful to all those who have been following me and my friends in our on-going involvement in this saga if I answer it here on my own journey blog.

"But I was focused on my own success and never considered that others would take the plan to the extreme. I have read Christin's blog and accept that she is sorry for her part in the deception.. what I can't understand is, if she had medical problems as a result of the diet, why did she accept the offer from WW and why did she later accept the position as PR Director? 20,000 members looked to her success and trusted her advice. But I suppose I should direct those questions to Christin."

I appreciate your acceptance of my apology. Your first statement there says a lot about my own journey as well. I guess Kimmer was right in one thing when she called me "naive." Yes, I was naive. I had never low carb dieted before Kimkins. I accepted what I thought was a solid plan. I did not know until I began working with Kimmer that there was no doctor's approval for the program. I had assumed that because it was a published program that I paid money for it had to be legit right? I know better now.... I'm not so naive anymore.

In regard to my health issues that I encountered... honestly, I again accepted them at the time as minor issues that would correct themselves in time. When WW called, I had only just reached my goal of 100 pounds lost. I was the latest success story. I was thrilled as you can imagine anyone would be at finally FINALLY being "normal." Those of you who have struggled for years and years with your weight know what a rush that can be. At that time, my hair issue had just begun, and it had been explained to me as "normal." Same with my menses. When we lose fat we lose estrogen, therefore our bodies have to "regroup." I explained it away to myself too.

I accepted the PR position because I still believed in the program. I still do - as a base. After researching extensively on the programs which Kimkins was based on (Atkins 72 and Stillman's Quick Weight Loss Program), I learned quite a few differences, classified as Kimmer "tweaks." These tweaks were addressed in my questions to Kimmer, as I began to realize that there were specific medical reasons that both of these doctors included things in their programs. I do still agree with the concept of a low carb/lean protein program. But notice the emphasis on LOW carb, not NO carb.

The basic Stillman's plan does incorporate even fruit and dairy, and Dr Atkins included other healthy veggie carbs too. Both plans emphasise the importance of hydration and water. While the basis for Kimkins tweaks centered around a disagreement with Dr Atkins theory of "Be shockingly UNafraid of fat," I believe there is an opposite extreme as well for people to "be shockingly AFRAID of fat."

You are right and it a tremendous weight on me to know of the thousands, well millions, of people saw my face and read my testimony. Thousands joined because of my story. They trust me and look up to me. This is almost overwhelming to me. I am just a mom.... just a mom from a little town in Texas. It was, and still is my desire to help those who are hurting. Why did I accept the offer from WW and the PR position? To help. To give hope. To let those who are hurting and struggling know that they don't have to live like that.

What does this to me now? I'd still like to hope that I am helping. Woman's World didn't just show people a plan... it showed them me. I want to encourage you and the rest of my readers in this. I am still here. I did lose the weight and I am still maintaining it. Let my loss inspire you, not just the way I did it. There is no one magic cure-all for obesity. If there was, we would all be skinny and not have the need for inspiration and encouragement. I am here because I understand the pain. I understand and will continue to blog and email and do whatever I can to help anyone achieve their goals no matter what program they chose to follow. All I ask is that you do it safely. Like I said over and over within the Kimkins forums. Learn to listen to your body... but not just where food is concerned as well. Pay attention to other physical cues that your body may be giving you. I should have listened to mine, and fortunately my side effects that came about were easily corrected. But each person is different. That is why there is no "cookie cutter" program. Each person will tweak and embellish to their own body's needs.

I've probably said a lot more here than you wanted to know... but this is me. This is who I am. Did I answer your question?

The New Road

2007-09-07T10:32:00.000-05:00

Today I begin again. I have been thinking quite a bit about all that has transpired in my life over the last few months, culminating in my decision to leave the Kimkins program at the beginning of this week. I know that I will be posting more soon about my decision and the things that led up to it, but for now, I am reminded of the poem by Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I am beginning my new journey; to inspire, encourage, support, and lift all those who share the same dreams and struggles as I. Weight loss and successful maintenance is ours for the taking. Won't you journey with me down this road less traveled? I'll be there with you.... hand in hand.... ready for the unknown. If we go together, we can overcome.